learrn to let go of the numbers. if you are dreading workouts instead of looking forward to them, you hit burn out.

I don't know how old you are but it sounds like you're in the same spot I was in when I was in my early 30's. I'm now 53.

Triathlon was a big part of my life and I loved the competition, training and travelling. I thought I was doing a good job of balancing my life with super early morning workouts and spinning the trips to races as 'family vacations' but everything eventually backfired when we had our 3rd kid. What I thought was a good balance was different from what my wife thought and we ended up getting a divorce shortly thereafter.

Over the years I was forced to re-prioritize so that I could be the single dad I wanted to be for my kids. Low and behold I actually liked it. I actually liked having a drink during the week, not getting up super early, spending time with my kids, coaching, doing things around the house, etc. and triathlon started slipping away. I kept telling myself for YEARS that NEXT year, I would get back in shape because it had always been so easy. But it didn't happen and the longer the years went on, the harder it got.

Fast forward 17 years and I'm still telling myself that. I miss racing. I miss being fast. I miss being really fit. I miss buying cool new bike things. But, I have loved the time I have spent away from the sport with my family. Over the past 17 years my kids have grown up, both of my parents have died and I had a heart attack. My advice from my experience, enjoy what you enjoy and make the most of it. Acknowledge that in order to be competitive, there really are sacrifices you have to make and ask yourself if it is worth it. I'd be lying if I said it still doesn't bother me that I'll probably never run a sub 3 marathon again or break 10 hours in IM, but that's life!

Enjoy the time away and if the love come back great,if it doesn't the sun will still rise every day.Just be sure to keep doing some training to stay "relatively fit" and healthy.

One thing that has stuck out for me during this COVID year is how seemingly devastated so many people are that they can't "do an Ironman". Seriously,it is as if there has been a death in the family for some and I really don't understand it other than to figure so much of their identity has been wrapped up in training for races that they just don't know what to do now.It is very strange.

Go back to training if and when you are ready.When that time is right for you,only you will know.

+1 this.

Also consider what motivated you to do the sport(s) in the 1st place? Sometimes that motivation changes over time for people. A different perspective is not a bad thing after considering using the time differently.

Your post could have been written by myself. I took 2 weeks off the bike (have not swam since the pools re-opened) and have not run since before Thanksgiving. Still dread the bike. Tried twice in the past 2 weeks - got 20 minutes in once and 30 minutes the other. Uuug. I am lifting and don't dread that.

I am going to try and do some traditional base, without the massive hours. Just to keep the legs going. I think my brain will need that -- if I don't exercise, I struggle. I may not try racing next year. No idea. I am looking forward to warmer weather where I can ride and hopefully run with other folks. That will help as well.

Sounds to me as though you already know the answer to your questions... I personally find that when I don't train, I feel sluggish and unable to focus. I get irritable and impatient. I stop enjoying things. When I train I feel more energised and alive; I enjoy my crazy, hectic life more. I train 10-12 hours most weeks, so not super heavy. And I do sessions of 90 minutes or less, so I am never away for too long.

I think the key here is harmony - if there is stuff that you enjoy doing and it fits into your life, you won't burn out. But if you try to force yourself to do training you don't really enjoy or if the training you are doing doesn't fit into your life, then there will be problems. Personally, I look forward to my training time because it is really the only time in the day where can I focus on myself and my personal goals; the whole of the rest of my life is dedicated to responding to other people's needs (my wife, my kids and my students!). If training is becoming a hassle to you then you definitely need to step away. Life is way too short to be voluntarily doing things you don't need to do and don't want to do. Maybe one day you'll want to train again, maybe you won't.

Family
Career
Sport

You can only be really good at two out of three.

From 2006 to 2016 I was crazy focused on training and racing. I was good at my job. I'm not so sure that I was the best husband and father I could be.

In 2016, I was in the middle of a race that wasn't going great, and I decided that I was going to take a year off from triathlon. Well, It's been four seasons and I have done one triathlon since. Strangely, I haven't really missed it at all. I still hang out on slowtwitch because I feel like these are my people.....

I have focused on running. One can be a pretty fast runner on way less training than it takes for tri. An hour a day, give or take. I don't miss the 4:30 AM wakeups to swim. I don't miss the five hour training rides on Saturday and 2.5 hour runs on Sunday (well, I still run 2.5 hours most Sundays, but it is way better tolerated since I wasn't missing for 5-6 hours the day before). I'm way less tired. I think I'm a better husband and father. Some nights I even stay up and watch a movie with my family instead of going to bed at 8:30 ;-) I've lost all my swim muscle and look like a skinny marathon runner..... Every once in awhile I get the urge to do a tri again. I'm actually signed up for one in 2021, but I don't think I will ever let it take over my life like it did in my 30s and early 40s.

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Jason
None of the secrets of success will work unless you do.

About a month ago I stepped on the scale, I hadn't been where I wanted to be. But I looked at the number and I made a conscious decision. My training volume had fallen off completely. The gym closures severely affected my mental health. I like moving around heavy stuff. It took awhile but I got a squat stand, a bar, and weights. For the life of me thought it seems impossible to get 10lb and 5 lb plates. Worked out for a month in August and was starting to feel better but then fell off. For perspective, right before this socially distanced life had started I was carrying around like 15 extra lbs, ran a marathon with that. Training had gone ok, but I was still way heavy. After the post race break I endeavored to get back in shape, cut out alcohol, sweets, and cigars. Lost 15lbs and was on the way forward and feeling good. Volume was building, but we entered summer in AZ, that wasn't too big of a deal until July, we like between 150-180 days of 100F from April to October. Started to let moderation with alcohol or sweets come in. End of June we celebrated my partner's birthday, moved house, and at out for two weeks. Training volume plummeted as I thought I had plenty of time to build towards IMAZ with TC70.3 cancelled and every bigger race in AZ cancelled as well. Training was kinda non-existent. Did I "enjoy" life? A bit. But I didn't take care of myself. I legit went from having lost 15lbs to having then gained 25lbs. 10lbs heavier than I was on March 1st.

So right after my birthday week where I had some pours and a stick every night I cut it cold turkey and have focused on eating really well and rebuilding my training. My bike power has disappeared, not that I had any to begin with. But today is day 28, taking this week to week. I'll enjoy some sticks and drinks over Christmas but I'm definitely going to do dry January. Moderation literally only works when you're super fit (or at least for my easy gainer self), so back to fitness.

Yesterday I learned why Lionel screams on hard zwift workouts, I haven't done any non-erg stuff, but yesterday did a workout with 1430 ft of climbing inside of 9 miles. 1600 ft in 12 miles. Was rough.

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Washed up footy player turned Triathlete.

I looked for the word 'motivation' in the forum, but what I was looking for is someone feeling like me. That is: "I can't do this anymore".

• I am not ill per-se, and have all the energy required for everything I need and want to do in my life... including other sports, and gravel biking
• ...Just not for Tri training! Can't get myself to go out and train. I dread the moment when I have to lace-up, dress-up, dress-down. Just don't want to do it anymore...
• As this has been an important part of my life for years, I am concerned. "Will I ever go back to like it?"
• Then I thought it could this also be related to 'end-of-the-year-syndrome?' (Just made it up, don't look it up!). I guess my biological watch says: "the year is over, you are tired, too much went on this year".
• Also, the very language of Triathlon now conjure more constraints: 'train', 'suffer', 'have to train', 'pain'. The 'fun' is not there and now I need that.

Perhaps during holidays the fire will come back - or at least sufficient warm to lace my running shoes back up.

Meanwhile, I guess that walks, gravel biking, kung-fu, gym, mechanics will have to do.

That and trying not to gobble down the entire fridge...

So an update. I started training again without worrying about metrics. Went for a run and didnt look at my HR or pace, just ran and enjoyed just running, the feeling of movement, being alone with my thoughts and surroundings... And it was awesome.

I went for a ride and did the same, same result, awesome.

I'm now back in the full swing of things and enjoying the challenge. I still think I was sick/burnt out/covid something weird but also by stepping back and just enjoying being active made a huge difference.

It reminded me that I do this because I enjoy the movement, I enjoy the accomplishment but at the same time if I skip a session, if I skip a week, if I skip a month who cares, what difference does it make-zero. Training fits in around my life, not the other way around.

Thanks everyone for the great insights and suggestions. Keep them coming.

Stop being a whiny little girl/boy, man up, and push. (straight from old school, hard-ass 90s swimming coaches)

You need time off. If your mind and/or body can't handle the pain, training just isn't in the cards for you at the moment. When taking time off, watch your diet as last thing you want when losing fitness is gaining too much weight. A good sign that your body is ready for more training is you should be craving a hard workout. Unless you have an early year race, this is a perfect time of the year to take training time off. Maybe keep things really easy when getting back into it?

I'm with you on this. I just started to get the fire back after the last six months of being very inconsistent, because a local marathon was planned and we were all aiming for it. At last. Back up to 55mi/week of running, firing on all cylinders.

Then yesterday, they canceled it. (imagine that). Like a switch, motivation is lost. It's amazing what having a race on the calendar will do for your mind and motivation!

It'll come back. Lots of people are in the same situation.

This is very true.
Last year in Nov, My FTP was 316, did IMAZ, then took some time off, rode when I wanted/could, we had a baby in May, house work ETC. I was riding; sometimes 4 days a week, sometimes off the bike for 10 days. Just whatever worked with various schedules and seemed fun. In October baby started sleeping through the night and I was able to get back into a schedule. Did a week of base rides and then an FTP test. 312. I had gained about 10 Lbs over the year, which I have now parted from.
Point is if you just ride (or run or swim) you really can stay very fit (even though you might not feel like it)
One thing I can say is for me most of this time; I did not want to do structured workouts. They were not the most fun option with no race on the calendar, Zwift racing, trying to smash a PB on my local climb, coffee ride with my riding friend. All fun and enjoyable.