Login required to started new threads

Login required to post replies

When a family member gets the C diagnosis
Quote | Reply
Oddly, posting here as I don't know that I can talk about it to my friends.... at least not yet. Anonymity is easier. In 2010 my dad was diagnosed with cancer, just about this time of year (think he may have called me on Easter.). It was aggressive, he was gone by September.

Just got a call that my 83 year old mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. Don't know the grade yet and her lymph nodes are apparently clear so there is some light on the horizon from my very limited knowledge. I know t's very different than my dad's situation but still.....

I deal with my emotions with food and already been to the work candy jar. Don't really know what else to do with myself at the moment and concentration at work today is shit.

Fuck cancer
Quote Reply
Re: When a family member gets the C diagnosis [ChrisM] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
Sorry to hear that you lost your dad and are now worrying about your mom. I'm close to both of my parents and can imagine how tough it is for you. I hope that someone will find a cure for cancer in the next generation so we can put this to an end. Best of luck to your mom in her treatment.
Quote Reply
Re: When a family member gets the C diagnosis [ChrisM] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
Sorry to hear.



"You can never win or lose if you don't run the race." - Richard Butler

Quote Reply
Re: When a family member gets the C diagnosis [ChrisM] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
I'm so sorry you're going through this, I'm about a month ahead of you. My Mum just started chemo last week.

She survived breast cancer in her late 30s so it really felt like she'd already had her experience. She was also the full-time caregiver for my dad so we saw her as the healthy one of the two. It's stage 4 ovarian cancer but the doctors are very optimistic.

I was already in a very bad spot emotionally (my Dad's in hospital, I had a bad concussion, my landlady was trying to force me out) so her diagnosis sent me over the edge. I reached out to my work's Employee Assistance Program and got connected to a counselor. If you have an EAP through work it is worth checking it out. I also talked to my doctor and got on anti-anxiety meds. I'm in a way better spot right now.

The hardest part so far was the waiting to get full details on the cancer and treatment. Once we had an action plan set up, 6 sessions of chemo then surgery, things got a lot easier to deal with. We could start planning - mum getting friends to take her to chemo, my sister and I planning alternate weekends to visit. Stocking Mum's house with food and other things she might need. Mum picked up a wig. She set up the en suite bathroom the way she wants. All that stuff.

It was extremely helpful to go with my Mum for her chemo education session. They talked through what to expect and even gave us a tour of the chemo room. The cancer agency here has counselors available for patients and family.

It has also been very helpful to talk to friends and coworkers. So many people have had the same experience and can give you advice and support.

All the best to you and your mom.
Last edited by: Alibabwa: Apr 16, 19 14:58
Quote Reply
Re: When a family member gets the C diagnosis [ChrisM] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
In 1999, my senior year of college, I broke my finger, got a kidney stone, my dad got throat cancer, my mom got breast cancer. That happened between September and December.

I had stone surgery the day before my final studio presentation. I had finger surgery between semesters - made it very hard to draw in Architecture studio with a pinned finger. My dad was given 6 months. We spent my last semester of college going to chemo after studio. My mom figures they cut out all the cancer in the biopsy, but she still had a few lymph nodes removed and a double mastectomy.

6 months became 5 years.
My mom is still mostly healthy - she just had ACL surgery 2 weeks ago.
I had another kidney stone last fall
Quote Reply
Re: When a family member gets the C diagnosis [ChrisM] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
That really sucks. My mom and I were diagnosed 1 week apart in 2017. She had stage 4 Ovarian and I had stage 3 Hodgkins. I'm now 1 year in remission and my mom is now on an immunotherapy drug that was fairly recently FDA approved. The advancement in treatment options are happening rapidly with immunotherapy, so don't give up hope. I honestly can't believe where my mom is now compared to 2 years ago. But, it has been rough to say the least.

Unfortunately my dad and brother are also cancer survivors...so our little family is 4 for 4. WTF!!!??

FUCK cancer...big time!!

Good luck to you.
Quote Reply
Re: When a family member gets the C diagnosis [ChrisM] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
It sucks and I am sorry for you and everyone else that has to go through this. I wish the world could pool its resources and end this scourge.

"The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do."
Quote Reply
Re: When a family member gets the C diagnosis [ChrisM] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
It is no good news as I have been through it with my father. Fortunately he was cool with everything that came with it and lived it up as much as he could stand. All I can offer is give as much support as possible and don’t stop the dance no matter how ill your mother becomes.


_____________________________________
DISH is how we do it.
Quote Reply
Re: When a family member gets the C diagnosis [ChrisM] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
83 is a wonderful accomplishment. Cherish it. We should all be so fortunate to live that long.
Quote Reply
Re: When a family member gets the C diagnosis [ChrisM] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
So sorry to hear.

Hold on to the hope. There is some. A close family member of mine was recently diagnosed with another C: CJD.

CJD is unimaginably horrific. In six weeks she's gone from perfectly healthy to near vegetative state. It's utterly heartbreaking and there is no hope.
Quote Reply
Re: When a family member gets the C diagnosis [Kay Serrar] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
Kay Serrar wrote:
So sorry to hear.

Hold on to the hope. There is some. A close family member of mine was recently diagnosed with another C: CJD.

CJD is unimaginably horrific. In six weeks she's gone from perfectly healthy to near vegetative state. It's utterly heartbreaking and there is no hope.

Apologies for my ignorance, but what does CJD stand for?

For the OP, it sucks. Across the board. My mother went through a bought of aggressive breast cancer a few years back. Chemo, radiation several surgeries, etc. it was horrifying to observe. It was pretty dire, but she qualified for a clinical trial due to a mutation and eventually it worked. She’s been in remission for awhile now. It can be beat.
Quote Reply
Re: When a family member gets the C diagnosis [ChrisM] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
I had a sister die from lung cancer. I feel for you.

When my mom was going through the final stages from Parkinson's I found triathlon training very therapeutic (kiss my ass BLeP :) ). Breaking myself down physically let my emotions come out and be dealt with. A lot healthier than blowing up the candy bowl.

I'm beginning to think that we are much more fucked than I thought.
Quote Reply
Re: When a family member gets the C diagnosis [ChrisM] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
My mother died of breast cancer when I was 10 (1977) and had battled it for a few years. However she got pregnant with my little sister early during her treatment and had to make a choice, abort and probably live or have her and probably not. Well, she chose to have my sister (who is a spitting image of her, only a foot and a half taller). My little sister never got to know my mom. I barely did, but at least I have memories, something my sister does not. So far, my sister has gotten the all clear on all her scans.

My mom's oldest sister lost her only child (my cousin Lora) to breast cancer about 15 years ago. Devastating to her and my uncle. Then their youngest brother (my Uncle Larry) died of lung cancer in October, he was a wonderful guy and was nominated for a Pulitzer for his work on BOPTROT for the Lexington Herald-Leader: https://www.kentucky.com/...rticle220832655.html

My other uncle (mom's other brother) died of lung cancer about 6 years ago.

I have had too many friends to count die of cancer.

But your mom is living in a time where survival rates for breast cancer are extraordinarily high. If my mom had contracted it today, we'd have little worry. So best wishes to your mom, and yes, fuck cancer.
Quote Reply
Re: When a family member gets the C diagnosis [chriskal] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
chriskal wrote:
Kay Serrar wrote:
So sorry to hear.

Hold on to the hope. There is some. A close family member of mine was recently diagnosed with another C: CJD.

CJD is unimaginably horrific. In six weeks she's gone from perfectly healthy to near vegetative state. It's utterly heartbreaking and there is no hope.

Apologies for my ignorance, but what does CJD stand for?

For the OP, it sucks. Across the board. My mother went through a bought of aggressive breast cancer a few years back. Chemo, radiation several surgeries, etc. it was horrifying to observe. It was pretty dire, but she qualified for a clinical trial due to a mutation and eventually it worked. She’s been in remission for awhile now. It can be beat.

It stands for Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease. Protein infections (prions) attack the brain and basically turn it to sponge. You rapidly lose physical functionality, brain function and vision. Coma and death ensue.

https://www.ninds.nih.gov/...Disease-Fact-Sheet#1

.
Quote Reply
Re: When a family member gets the C diagnosis [Kay Serrar] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
Kay Serrar wrote:
chriskal wrote:
Kay Serrar wrote:
So sorry to hear.

Hold on to the hope. There is some. A close family member of mine was recently diagnosed with another C: CJD.

CJD is unimaginably horrific. In six weeks she's gone from perfectly healthy to near vegetative state. It's utterly heartbreaking and there is no hope.

Apologies for my ignorance, but what does CJD stand for?

For the OP, it sucks. Across the board. My mother went through a bought of aggressive breast cancer a few years back. Chemo, radiation several surgeries, etc. it was horrifying to observe. It was pretty dire, but she qualified for a clinical trial due to a mutation and eventually it worked. She’s been in remission for awhile now. It can be beat.

It stands for Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease. Protein infections (prions) attack the brain and basically turn it to sponge. You rapidly lose physical functionality, brain function and vision. Coma and death ensue.

https://www.ninds.nih.gov/...Disease-Fact-Sheet#1

.

Thank you. I wasn’t connecting the acronym.
Quote Reply
Re: When a family member gets the C diagnosis [chriskal] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
chriskal wrote:
Kay Serrar wrote:
chriskal wrote:
Kay Serrar wrote:
So sorry to hear.

Hold on to the hope. There is some. A close family member of mine was recently diagnosed with another C: CJD.

CJD is unimaginably horrific. In six weeks she's gone from perfectly healthy to near vegetative state. It's utterly heartbreaking and there is no hope.


Apologies for my ignorance, but what does CJD stand for?

For the OP, it sucks. Across the board. My mother went through a bought of aggressive breast cancer a few years back. Chemo, radiation several surgeries, etc. it was horrifying to observe. It was pretty dire, but she qualified for a clinical trial due to a mutation and eventually it worked. She’s been in remission for awhile now. It can be beat.


It stands for Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease. Protein infections (prions) attack the brain and basically turn it to sponge. You rapidly lose physical functionality, brain function and vision. Coma and death ensue.

https://www.ninds.nih.gov/...Disease-Fact-Sheet#1

.


Thank you. I wasn’t connecting the acronym.

She died this morning, 9 weeks after diagnosis. She was perfectly healthy in mid-February. What a shitty fucking disease.
Quote Reply
Re: When a family member gets the C diagnosis [Kay Serrar] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
I am very sorry for your loss. That is just awful. Really a reminder (of many ) that our time here is not guaranteed so live life now, if you can

On the personal side, I am finding this a bit of an emotional roller coaster ride which I guess is common. A mix of good and less good test results, prognosis is still pretty good but went from no chemo to 12 weeks of it, starting next week.
Quote Reply
Re: When a family member gets the C diagnosis [Kay Serrar] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
I'm so sorry to hear that. My sympathies to you and your family.
Quote Reply
Re: When a family member gets the C diagnosis [ChrisM] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
I appreciate your thoughts. Just trying to hold on to all the positive things she brought to my and others' life.

I can empathize with the up and down emotions re the treatment and diagnosis. She was on an experimental drug and only the 5th in the world to try it and not yet approved - had to get a court order to allow its use. It gave us a glimmer of hope, but she had the most aggressive version of the disease and it ripped through her brain.

Hold on to hope. Trust the combination of western medicine and positive energy, and I sincerely hope she pulls through. And whatever feelings you're having are valid.
Quote Reply
Re: When a family member gets the C diagnosis [Kay Serrar] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
Kay Serrar wrote:
chriskal wrote:
Kay Serrar wrote:
chriskal wrote:
Kay Serrar wrote:
So sorry to hear.

Hold on to the hope. There is some. A close family member of mine was recently diagnosed with another C: CJD.

CJD is unimaginably horrific. In six weeks she's gone from perfectly healthy to near vegetative state. It's utterly heartbreaking and there is no hope.


Apologies for my ignorance, but what does CJD stand for?

For the OP, it sucks. Across the board. My mother went through a bought of aggressive breast cancer a few years back. Chemo, radiation several surgeries, etc. it was horrifying to observe. It was pretty dire, but she qualified for a clinical trial due to a mutation and eventually it worked. She’s been in remission for awhile now. It can be beat.


It stands for Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease. Protein infections (prions) attack the brain and basically turn it to sponge. You rapidly lose physical functionality, brain function and vision. Coma and death ensue.

https://www.ninds.nih.gov/...Disease-Fact-Sheet#1

.


Thank you. I wasn’t connecting the acronym.

She died this morning, 9 weeks after diagnosis. She was perfectly healthy in mid-February. What a shitty fucking disease.

Damn. I’m sorry.
Quote Reply