Today I listened to 2 Chinese dudes loudly talking to each other the whole time they pissed while I was trying to shit. Small bathroom too. They were speaking Chinese so that's an assumption I know. I didn't actually see them.

Do you have a wide stance.

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Civilize the mind, but make savage the body.

- Chinese proverb

Go away or I will fart in your general direction.

I thought it was required, something about the Bro Code?

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The secret of a long life is you try not to shorten it.
-Nobody

No it should be encouraged. In case you cannot muster one up feel free to do a hand fart.

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All I Wanted Was A Pepsi, Just One Pepsi

Team Zoot, Team Zoot Mid-Atlantic

No. If someone's talking on the phone in the bathroom, any behavior that will alert the person on the other end of the line that it's a bathroom is not only appropriate, it's encouraged.

Many years ago, I worked for a large public company. I was standing at a urinal at work one day and the CEO, who was on his cell phone, came in and stood at the urinal next to me. I didn't flush when I finished.

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War is god

You should not only fart as loudly as possible, you should also grunt like you are trying to pass a Buick.

You're right to show deference to the CEO. But I'd be tempted to talk shit about it behind his back.

One of our offices shares a floor with a commercial real estate firm, so we also share the restrooms on that floor. Those guys are animals. There must be something about that profession that attracts the kind of person who talks on the phone in the bathroom. Not only are they constantly on a phone, but their calls are often contain loud "fuck this" and "fuck that" exclamations. I think deep down they know that they're still the equivalent of a used car salesperson, so they act out in other ways that they think make them appear more important.

You can't always summon up a loud fart, at least I can't, but I can always clear my throat, fake a sneeze (and include an "ah shit" in the sneeze) and flush the toilet.

All are worthy alternatives.

You know what it takes to sell real estate? It takes brass balls to sell real estate.

https://m.youtube.com/...be&v=6FWfKoc-MKM

That's only if you have the good leads.

As are gasping, groaning, and straining. All of which can be done loudly.

I was once at the urinal and the Fedex guy was in the shitter stall next to me was talking mad game- "oh baby, I miss you, baby, Imma hit that tonight..." and so on. I let one rip and flushed 3x for effect. That was 5 years ago and I still get a chuckle.