"So here are the questions; why would a woman who knows a guy has a girlfriend still do something like this? Is she interested in starting something with me? Any input on her intentions?"

Why would a guy that has a girlfriend do this? If they know each other you best be talking to the GF because I will bet that the GF will think that something is wrong with kissing and sharing a sleeping bag. Good Luck, I think you may need some :)

You've got two women interested in you and a P3?

D@M# my life sucks.

Hey P3,

You questioned why she chose to partake in this foray, but the real question is why you started the flirting and let it progress to this point. And your willingness to continue in the future. You must first look at your own relationship, what it's lacking, and what you want in the relationship. If you feel you are not getting what you need out of the relationship, you must end it with your current girlfriend first. Don't hurt her by having an "affair". That's not mature, or fair for her.

If this other girl is going to be the one you want to be with, that's great, common interests and attraction may make a good match. Just square away your current relationship first.

Good luck,

Chris

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Chris
*********************
“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!”
― Hunter S. Thompson,

Are you looking for a training partner or a life partner?

I think you've gotten off on the wrong foot with this new girl. She knew you had a girlfriend, and you still smooched and snuggled with her. Now the new girl knows you'll smooch & snuggle even if you have a girlfriend. Not good -- trust issues. IMHO, you should've at least pulled the "seeing other people" bit before going after the new girl.

Ditto what the others said. What are you doing hitting on a girl when you have a girlfriend?

Let me get this straight - 1) YOU flirted, 2) YOU confided relationship problems to her, 3) YOU made the move, and 4) you want to know why SHE did this??

Maybe I'm reading more into what you wrote than what you're saying, but it almost sounds as if you doubt her integrity because she's willing to kiss a guy that has a girlfriend.

If I were her, from what you said I'd think that you're about to end your current relationship.

Yeah I agree here.. You need to breakup with the girlfriend THEN make your move.. This past winter, some guy was really into me but he was engaged.. the flirting was intensed and he wanted to make his move, I refused because he was engaged.. he broke off the wedding and I couldn't date him knowing that he did what he did... Did you ever think about how your girlfriend would feel about this? Sorry to be harsh...

You slept in the same sleeping bag and nothing happened? I'm the wrong guy to give you advise cause I just don't have that same type of sensitivity or sensibility. See, I'd be asking for advise on how I could juggle the two relationships at the same time. But that would only be a fantasy because nothing like that ever happens to me. Maybe you should buy a magazine - Cosmo or similar. They have good answers to this type of question.

Just kidding. Good luck with you soon to be ex-GF.

"Welcome to Fantasy Island. Tatoo, get our friends some drinks..."

Been there. Was in a 5 1/2 year relationship, living together for 3 1/2.

The ending doesn't get easier with time. The hardest part will be getting the courage to start the conversation, but from there it'll move ahead quickly. Make sure you have a comfortable couch to sleep on, and know that until she or you finds a new place, life will indeed suck. But you'll be comforted by the fact that once it's over, you're free to move on with your life. Just spend lots of time working, training, etc.

And those that might tell you to spend some time after before jumping back in the dating game? Only you can decide that. I started dating someone a month after the break-up. We're getting married in October.

Exactly, the crime here is why there was not sex in that sleeping bag.

If you ain't married, you have carte blanche to screw like a wild pole cat.

You're problem now is that you have shown the new girl that you were willing to "cheat" on your girlfriend of four years. Now she may think, "What's going to stop him from cheating on me too?". Understandable actions if your other relationship is floundering and you want to move on, but your timing is not.

I agree, if I weren't married I'd try to become a wild alley cat.

I can't remember the last time we slept in the same sleeping bag. The only thing that turns my wife on is when she sees me scrubbing toilets or mopping floors. Being in the same sleeping bag would only make her grumpy all the next day.

"If you ain't married, you have carte blanche to screw like a wild pole cat."
- - That stinks...

Remember P3 is LIVING with his not-yet-ex. That's pretty close to married. If my S/O spent the night in some guys sleeping bag, I'd better not find out about it, and vice versa...

It would take about three seconds for her to get the gun!

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Cousin Elwood - Team Over-the-hill Racing
Brought to you by the good folks at Metamucil and Geritol...

You is a ho' dude...

Further down, you include that you are POSSLQ with your soon to be ex. So here's what you and the new meat know about each other:
You're both willing to cheat. You're willing to cheat on the babe your living with, and she's willing to sleep with a guy who's living with another woman. You may not have consumated the relationship, but she probably would have let you.

BTW, why didn't you? Was it because you KNEW the whole scenario was just plain wrong. Your current relationship is on life support, you've got a delicious babe with whom you could get naked and sweaty, but you can't trust her and she can't trust you.

As Sally said to Harry: "You're going to have to move, because you've slept with every woman in [your town] and I don't see that making you happy..."

Learn from your mistake, Grasshopper, and move along.

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Cousin Elwood - Team Over-the-hill Racing
Brought to you by the good folks at Metamucil and Geritol...

Not a good situation.

In my opinion you owe it to yourself and your current girlfriend to be honest. You were honest with the new girl, good for you. That was the right thing. Maybe following through and being honest with the other (current) girlfriend will complete your obligation to the situation and allow you (and everyone else) to sleep better. Preferably alone for a while until this all gets sorted out.

Now, that said, some people can't handle the truth or chose to ignore it- substituting their own "script" of what has (or they interpret) has happened.

I went out to dinner with a girl once when I was dating someone, kissed her, told her I valued her and cared for her. The person I was dating at the time found an e-mail explaining to the first party (dinner girl) that what happened was a mistake on my part and could not continue. She went 100% absolutely insane. You would have thought I was fucking a troupe of Chinese acrobats from the way she reacted.

We recovered from that, at least I did, and tried to move on. Couple's counseling, the whole nine yards. I confessed my many "sins" and repented. All over a meal and a kiss.

About a year later I had lunch with a female customer- strictly as a pay back for a job well done on their bike. Zero physical contact, zero personal conversation. No follow-up. Zero.

She freaked again. 100%, industrial strength freak-out. She accused me of having affairs with females whose names I did not even recognize or even know. She was insanely jealous.

A few months later we were broken up and I started dating that girl- the lunch girl. I was like, "She was a nice person who seemed pretty well adjusted." As it turned out, I was right.

And to this day the psycho chick is still psycho. She alternately threatened me with a restraining order (despite the fact that I visited her house once, after phoning her, during broad daylight to discuss our break-up- she had one of her friends blow me off. I had caught her seeing someone else behind my back then). Following that she sent me an e-mail asking to be friends and said she "only wanted the best for me".

What unmitigated bullshit.

It pays to be honest. Dishonesty is like holding a snake by the tail. Sooner or later the head comes around and bites you.

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Tom Demerly
The Tri Shop.com

Now that would have been worth it!

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My two cents. You have two options here.

1) If you are truly serious about the current flame (and you should really interrogate this and make sure that you aren't just letting lust distort things) you should break up with your current girlfriend, for her sake and for the sake of the potential relationship. For starters, the woman you're intested in, as someone alluded to before, might just think you're a worm for cheating on your girlfriend and always wonder about your honesty/integrity. She'll wonder whether she'll be in your girlfriend's shoes down the line. So, if you cut things off now, it salvages the trust you risk losing. And, beyond that, it is the only fair way to treat your girlfriend. If you care about her, you won't cheat on her. You will just end it and let her move on with her life.

2) That said, I think that you should really look at whether you are giving up on your current relationship just because you're not momentarily whipped or momentarily disenchanted with her. Relationships go through highs and lows and you might be screwing up a great long term relationship because things aren't working for you right now. Sometimes you have to see the forest from the trees. Right now, you have to ask yourself, really ask yourself, whether you're making the best long term decision, or whether you just have a crush on a new gal and you are screwing something good up. But one way or another, you need to make a decision.

Gee Tom - Thanks for the visual ;-)

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______________________________
Have you hugged Your Mom today?

Sorry Mom, pardon me. I forgot this was a general audience.

Ooops.

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Tom Demerly
The Tri Shop.com

Hey, didn't say I was offended! I'm still laughing at the reference.

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______________________________
Have you hugged Your Mom today?

Gosh I am cracking up at that reference too.. Just laughing!! How in the world did you come up with that?!!!! Your Imagination must just be fertile :-)

This came across my computer this evening....thought it funny though it still doesn't give P3forme much advice.

"Men have two emotions: hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich."

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______________________________
Have you hugged Your Mom today?