If I got bent out of shape every time a womens past me, I would have quit sports a long time ago.
Interesting story: I was doing my swim workout one day about, oh, 6-7 years ago. A friend was there with her 2 y/o doing the infant survival swim thing. As I was resting between sets, she says to me that the girl in the lane next to me was much faster than me. That "girl" was 2 time world champion and Olympic gold medalist Rachel Komisarz.

This swim thing....alllll the time! Also when they just assume they are faster so they really make you earn your spot in the lane by swimming over them. At tris I usually have to get kind of ugly to get a reasonable starting place for my swim.

Dropping the weights at the gym. One of my largest pet peeves ever. If you can't control the weight, lift less.

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AW

I probably shouldn't step into this tread, but the last comment reminded me of a race I did a few years ago. Was in the 45-49 year old men's swim wave...we were followed by 20-24 year old women...we got run the F*#K over. No pride after that.

I always wonder what an RD thinks when they set up the waves...sometimes I think it's whose ego they can crush the most, who they can want to see punished the most, who they want to give a realistic chance to win to, or how they can get everyone off the course the fastest. (I KNOW that they're realistically not looking to hurt anyone...) Sometimes it defies logic. There's a small race in Alabama every spring where they spread the men out into 3-4 waves, but they put all women & all of the first timers & elderly into one wave. They typically send the fat tires off right before our wave....it's brutal. As a fast swimmer there are times that it's a game of frogger with breaststroking legs & backstroking arms. And if there's surf? Fuhgeddaboudit.

We all have our moments to shine though...I crumbled a few years ago in that race on the run...a guy goes trudging by me & written on his back it says "Fat Man in Front of You" I smiled the whole way in. He was HILARIOUS to run behind & watch people try to pass him back...there's usually an entertaining sprint or two right before the finish line.

I LOVE it when they pick it up immeasurably for the last 400yds....seriously dudes...if you're passing me that close to the line...you should've been running like that 3 miles ago...and you need to learn to bike & swim.

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AW

I'm going to reply to myself, when I mean to reply to all.

To clarify, I don't ride all that fast when I'm commuting or doing errands. I'm on a 30 year old bike, for goodness sake, which weighs a ton. But I am going faster than the men (and women) that I pass. I know this because I catch up to them, slowly, but I do catch them. Then they work themselves into a frenzy to catch me to pass. As soon as they pass, the MEN pull off. I've had maybe one woman do this--it was really like she wanted to race me, but I *know* I was going faster because I caught up to you, silly.

MistressK, it makes sense that some of them use me as a rabbit. I do that when I'm racing too, but it's more like I see a person in the distance and I try to catch them. That's what you did in your case on your mountain bike. Not where somebody passes me and I damned if I'll let them pass and then I try to stay with them to try to pass them back.

feman, hahaha! I love your MAMIL rule!

QRgirl, I get mansplanations all the time. I've got to steal your term, love it!

JenSW, I am not a very good runner, so it would be cold day in Hell before I have to worry about passing anyone on the run! The only thing I'm good at is sprinting. I do sprint at the end (if I have anything left) but I guess I must do a stealth thing, because nobody has time to react before we cross the finish line.

npda: yeah, that happens to me all the time, when someone pushes off just as I come to the wall!!! HATE THAT! Then I have to put on the brakes and don't fully push off on my flip because otherwise my streamlining fingers will be jammed up their anus. It's like they underestimate my speed (probably because my form kinda sucks)--or maybe they just are clueless on lane etiquette?

bLeP, I have man hands! They're gigantic with spidery fingers and would well match a six foot tall man (I'm petite). Better for pulling water, right? And I love my man hands, so useful for typing and piano playing. And slapping faces. Yeehaw!

I had a "race" with a trio of men on the weekend. It was a one way race--we were just going at our regular pace. My group of five caught up to and passed them and we were going 38 kph at the time, and soon after they tried to pass us back, yelling "ON YOUR LEFT!!!". They were doing maybe 42 kph to pass, but they could not hold that pace for long (it was very windy) and they dropped back down. So we drafted behind them until we had to stop to say goodbye to one of our group. Then after that long stop, we saw them again, and caught them about 15 minutes later. That means that our pace was higher, doesn't it? It was the conclusion of one of the men in our group (I was riding with all men) that it was my ponytail that made them race us.

I'm with squid...even though I'm a beginner, I have no problem getting passed by a stronger, fitter female athlete. I know I'm not that fast, so there's no ego-bruising to be done. And even after I've been doing this for a few years, if I still get passed, that just means I need to train harder. :)

My example: I competed in the XTERRA Portland du last August, and got to meet pro Shonny Vanlandingham (really nice person and fantastic athlete). She passed me twice, once on the bike, once on the run...and I didn't do the 1000yd swim. I was grinning like an idiot as she passed me, because it was just so cool...and it's still my favorite memory of that day. :)

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- John
"Have courage, and be kind."

thank you for sharing!

we need more people like you in the sport. love it.

That's funny. Women and children first... or if not first, all at once...

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maybe she's born with it, maybe it's chlorine
If you're injured and need some sympathy, PM me and I'm very happy to write back.
disclaimer: PhD not MD

I've seen men injure themselves on the squat rack to "prove" they could lift more than me. The most fragile thing in the world is a man's ego - and more so when it's a chick who is handing his ass to him.

And yes to the dropping or slamming of weights. If you can't put them down nicely, you're form is screwed and you're lifting too much.


Pet peeves/turn offs? Lord, where to start?

Guys who don't wipe up their sweat off the benches and machines - FYI Boris Becker is gross with this. He used to walk around "incognito" in a hat and bright yellow tracksuit at the gym I went to in London. HUGE piles of sweat everywhere he went. Blech.

Guy's with ponytails. Hate them.

Guy's with long fingernails. Creeps me out.

The lap/poser guys at the gym. Bench press, lap around, pose in mirror, bench press, lap, pose...

Youngish guys in expensive sport's cars. Seems like they're trying to hard and perhaps making up for something. Same goes for youngish guys with really expensive watches.

I mostly blame society for my fragile little ego and yes it is a fragile little ego. When I turned 7 or 8 my parents signed me up for little league sports where I played with other same age boys, during my years of playing sports I learned two things, first and foremost WIN, second if you loose be a good sport about it. Now Ill try to explain to the women's what is going on when a male is passed by a female. Fast forward 25 years to now (I'm 32 my ego is still 7 or 8), and put me on the bike path for a TRAINING ride or run, and a girl (who may or may not have a pony tail) passes me, the first thought in my head is, "holy shit I'm loosing this RACE!". So what do I do? Well Im glad you asked, I do everything in my power to pass said girl (who probably has a pony tail) even at the risk of completely ruining my workout or even worse have a heart attack. Now the second thing going through my head is, well NOTHING at this point it is completely emotional and in my mind completely irrational that a GIRL (with a fucking pony tail) is faster than me!!! Lets rewind back to little league, remember when I told you that I played sports with other boys? Well that is because girls were not allowed on the team, obviously because they were inferior (or so I thought)! So when I was taught to loose graciously that was to other boys and was completely rational as it happened and we all had to learn to deal with it! Because I never played sports with girls I never had to experience loosing to a girl until I reached adulthood (me not my ego) and now when it happens (quite often actually) I have no idea how to deal with it. So there you have it, we all could have been saved this embarrassment by letting the girls and boys play sports together as children!

1) Paragraphs are your friend

2) Did anyone else find the pony tail parts exceptionally weird?

3) LOSE is when you do not win. LOOSE pennies jingle.

You are two years older than me, and I played co-ed sports (they existed when we were kids, you weren't born in the 1940's or something). Where the hell did you grow up, rural Arkansas?

By your argument, ALL of your competitive conditioning occurred when you were 7 or 8 playing little league? What about school? Didn't you compete with girls and boys in school (clearly not successful in the grammar department, but I digress)? What about your professional life? Don't you compete to some level with your male and female coworkers?

Your argument is bunk. Every child develops a competitive response to both boys and girls. How they were raised, their personality, their moral compass, and general common sense that allows them to navigate their emotions and put them into one of two categories: i) normal and ii) asshat.

Sorry, but you can't blame little league for this one.

Dang, I admitted above that my ego was fragile!!! The above was typed out in fun and not meant to be taken so seriously. My apologies if I offended and thank you for the grammatical lesson;)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhmcJ7Zg5ko

i liked it. Had an image of a cute little 8-year-old pedalling like a demon and getting all red in the face trying to catch ponytail gal.

I give anyone on a bike tons of leeway in the maturity department, because once I get on mine I personally drop 40 years :>

I liked it too. I think what you're trying to say is that there's this cultural thing that puts people in roles they're supposed to be playing. I think you were observing that a boy chasing a girl on a bike is as conditioned a cultural response as women eyeing each others' clothes on an elevator. The ponytail part was supposed to be fun, and it was. I agree with you that boys and girls rarely, if ever, play together on the playground as children, which I find quite odd.

Thank you for your insight and your honesty. It was a good post. This is a place where we can breathe and not be stifled. If you can't say what you want to say in the womens, then we all loose.

~~ kate

I also enjoyed your post! I didn't think it to be offensive. I thought you were trying to explain why men might behave the way they do. I also thought it was cute. Thank you for posting.

One thing that I did which annoyed the men in my tri club was wearing a pink running skirt. The sight of that pink running skirt in front of them was just too much to bear (so they told me!).

Well . . for me, I never even think about who is passing me male or female. Frankly I don't get passed very often by anyone running but I'm a much better runner than biker or swimmer. I only started tris a couple years ago and only now hoping to start getting faster. So feel free to ride/swim on by ladies! It won't bother me a bit. Pass me on the run too if you can. I'm okay with it.

I do have to agree with the comment above regarding wave starts. I am in the 45-49 age group and while there are a lot of REALLY FAST swimmers in my group there are also a lot of REALLY slow ones (like me). I definitely think the younger woman should start right after the younger men. That is NOT a slow swimming group.

In a more general note . . does anyone besides me really hate passing runners when out for a training run? Especially when you are only going slightly faster? It is a bit awkward as you run side by side for a bit. Not nearly as awkward as when I passed the serious looking dude on the mountain bike last year . . while I was running. :)

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Pete Githens
Reading, PA

Hilarious! I think most of us took it in the spirit it was written.

• Hairy legs
• See-through cycling shorts

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"Though she be but little, she is fierce" ~Shakespeare | Powered by HD Coaching | 2014 Wattie Ink Triathlon Team | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

Right, because pink = feminine = weak = inferior. That is not funny or cute. That's messed up.

Whether or not you think noxious' post is "cute," it illustrates sexism at its finest; when you are a little boy, you must not lose to girls, pink is for girls and girls are "inferior" (he said it).

We can all sit around and chuckle and pat him on the head for his fun little honesty, but this "cute" story demonstrates a big fat social problem. It's interesting no one else sees it that way!

No see thru shorts for me but my legs are hairy and I don't care enough to shave them.

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How does Danny Hart sit down with balls that big?

You really should lighten up.

Wow. Just wow. At least this guy is aware of the social problems and is more than willing to discuss it. Heck, I applaud him for even posting on here as I know many guys who refuse to post on "female" boards for fear of having some women flip out and call him sexist for discussing things. Point proven.

I think most of us "sees it that way" but for me, I don't see the point in being nasty and shutting off the discussion at hand. All that does is get "us" labelled as "emotional and crazy bitches" - which yes, is sexist in itself and I can see that clearly - without any communication or discussion as to how we can improve the sexism that surrounds us, be it work or sports. Not only have you been nasty to him, you're now being nasty to all the other poster by assuming they don't "get it" and "see it that way". I hate sexism and discrimination - and christ, pink - but honestly, your comments shocked me and made me roll my eyes because they were just so harsh and not needed.

I can easily see how his socialization with sports has lead to guys not wanting to be passed by a female. He's being honest. Plenty of guys are raised like this. It sucks. It makes it harder for us and hopefully it will change. Hopefully, if he has kids, he won't raise his sons to think the same way.

This!! This drives me nuts! Where I live they do all all the guys in their nice little age groups. The uni guys head out first though. The women? We are stuck in the 45-49 year old men's wave. ALL women. Including the female uni students, who half the time, KILL the AG guys in their 20s. And we're in pink bathing caps no less. Christ, when the guys see a pink cap coming up, the legs start going and the arms start flailing. Why they can't start based on swim times and not age and gender is beyond me.

Yes, you seem to have a lone opinion. Why might that be?

I love pink and wear it in some form regularly. I was born in almost the 60s and never had the opportunity to play coed sports. Your point?

As someone said, you do need to lighten up.

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clm
Nashville, TN
https://twitter.com/ironclm | http://ironclm.typepad.com