Yeah, like- is she hot? Men put up with lots of crap if she is hot. We need more details.

No matter how hot she is, there's someone out there that is tired of her shit.

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Pink? Maybe. Maybe not. You decide.

This thread has definitely been entertaining, especially the line above!!!!

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Reverend Dr. Jay
Lake of the Pines Triathlon fastest bike course record holder - Golden State Super Sprint fastest tri course record holder - Wildflower Long Course slowest run course record holder (4:46:32)

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"If you have a body, you are an athlete." -Bill Bowerman

Absolutely hilarious.

I guess I should consider myself lucky I live somewhere where it's natural for people to strike up brief passing conversation, all the more so when they're participating in a shared activity.

They were in a shop in the middle of the day, all out cycling. Not skulking around in the witching hour surprising her out of nowhere.

The border between creepy and friend is in the content of the exchange. Asking if there's pickle juice on the course after dark? Seriously? Not only is that a pretty f'n weird question, but it's something that you could easily look up in about 10 seconds on the internet.

I also feel like there's a difference between asking for help and offering to help. One builds trust and another is creepy. It's perfectly ok to say to someone who clearly has a flat, "Are you ok?" and not, "Can I fix that for you?" Some people just don't understand social dynamics.

Again I wasn't there and again she answered your question you just didn't like her answer. You should consider yourself lucky that you don't have to make a split second judgement everytime you interact with a male stranger, women do, everytime, based off of this conversation I'd say she probably put you in the category of arrogant/know everything guy that she wasn't in the mood to interact with, she answered your question honestly but also in a way that her answer would give you pause in asking another and continued doing what she was doing with minimal interuption.

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Elisha
"Triathlon doesn't build character. It reveals it."

I'm not the OP so not entirely sure why you're replying to me as if I was the one who had this interaction with her.

All I'm saying is that there isn't anything inherently 'creepy' about the OP's interaction with her - which is precisely what you rushed in claiming.

Yes mate, social interactions should only take place when Goggling it has been unsuccessfully exhausted.

That said I do agree whether this interaction was creepy or not is indeed contextually specific and it's impossible for anyone to know on here what actually happened. The nuance of the exchange is totally lost. But at the same time, as the OP presented it, I think it's absurdly ridiculous to claim that he was 'creepy'.

No tat?

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29 years and counting

I didn't rush in claiming anything, they very well could have been creepy - I know a lot of guys that don't realize they are being creepy (a factor the op obviously didn't consider, and he provided more info as the post when on that made it less of a possibility). Maybe I'm pulling from my own experiences where I had guys come up to me wanting to be super chatty when I'm obviously there for a quick bathroom stop and not getting the hints that I'm out there for a purpose not to hang out with them (think men in their 40s-60s in their full club kits that look like they are 6-9months pregnant, close talkers asking lots of questions like how fast am I, how much is my bike, how far am I riding, where do I ride from, etc). The main point - I wasn't there, you weren't there, she can't speak for herself here and she answered the guys question then got out of there.

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Elisha
"Triathlon doesn't build character. It reveals it."

Mom?

People seem more guarded than they used to be. It could also be that I am no longer a handsome young guy, but I am a middle aged geezer and married. I no longer initiate conversation with women, especially younger women. This applies to work, triathlon, social settings. I will exchange pleasantries, hold the door, respond if they initiate conversation, but otherwise I keep to myself. I do not want anyone to think I am a creeper, hitting on them, or just an annoying old guy. Some people might think I am stand offish, but I am more than willing to talk to anyone once they initiate. In regards to the original post and triathlete in question, I might have said hello, or nodded, and maybe if she seemed friendly asked how her race went, but that would have been it.

LOL every time I see someone training on a superbike with race numbers on it (especially if they are training on the disc wheel)!

f_ahsile04 wrote:

The main point - I wasn't there, you weren't there, she can't speak for herself here and she answered the guys question then got out of there.

Precisely.

Which is why I think it's laughable for you to surmise "she probably thought you were being creepy", which is what you initially posted way back in your first post on this thread.

Anyways, I am out last weekend riding along. Decided to make a quick pit stop at this gas station that some of the local riders conside to be "well known".

There are few riders inside eyeing me intently, and my bike, not sure why, but right away I felt a bit weird about it. So I took my bike inside with me, I mean, they are a complete stranges.

They were still there when I got out, eyeing me even more, so I try to get out as quickly as I can, but they cornered me with some add question about fermented food. At this point I am paniking, but trying not to show it. OMG, still has chills thinking about that.

What you are doing here is "mansplaining", to a woman, when a woman should feel threatened and when she shouldn't.

While the described situation sounds pretty benign to me, I don't presume to tell women (or anyone for that matter) when they are justified in feeling creeped out or not.

It sounds like you want the woman in the story to act differently then she did. And/or you want the woman responding to you, to view life the way you view life.

In this case, none of the women involved are trying to curtail, restrict or modify your, or anyone else's, behaviour, they just want to be left alone. In such cases, I just say live and let live, and I don't presume to understand their experiences better than they do.

I wouldn't see this as creepy or weird. Striking up conversation with people with similar interests is how you make friends and such. That being said I don't know if I would trust my tri bike with a stranger. Too much money to gamble on.

Best subtle brag ever....

"On the run I was still afraid someone would catch me........
until I got near the finish line and saw that 2nd place was just starting the run."

Ugh... she "may" have thought you were being creepy, does that sit better with you? As a woman I've been in similar situations and they were creepy, sorry for applying my real life experiences to present a possible explanation. A lot of "mansplaining" going on here.

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Elisha
"Triathlon doesn't build character. It reveals it."

Not including the original topic, there have been so many "might be"s and disclaimers that I'm uncertain what anyone is actually claiming. Does it all boil down to?:

Some people are kind. Some people are out to insult or hurt others. Some observers' subjective experience place people in one group, while others' subjective experience would place those same people in another.

So a woman is out on a training ride (maybe doing a tough workout) and two random guys that she doesn't know start asking her all sorts of questions

I believe they asked her one question and it was pretty harmless, no?

She probably thought you were being creepy,

Oh great, another person offended at the slightest thing.

I've done the same - I'm out on a hard ride minding my own business, I stop to quickly use the bathroom and two guys come up right away being overly friendly and chatty... not in the mood, I'm trying to get my workout in not trying to socialize and sure as hell not leaving my bike out for you to snag. I'm wary of people that I don't know, even more so when I'm 20 miles from home in the middle of nowhere and you've got me outnumbered.

So the exact same thing happened to you, what a co-incidence.

also you should probably read the race guide (or look at the previous years guide) to find out what is offered on course instead of approaching a random female athlete that you don't know (please don't be that creepy dude).

He was asking a simple question? What is wrong with you?

Sure it was harmless - she doesn't know that... I don't know how else to say this but maybe it's just that some men can't comprehend the plethora of unwanted attention many women get and what may start out as harmless can escalate (like this post). Sometimes women just don't want to engage, we get tired of it, we just don't want to talk to you. You may be harmless or you may not like our response and call us a b!tch, or you may turn into some crazy stalker guy... you think this line of thinking is ridiculous, I know plenty of women including myself that wish I'd just ignored a guy after engaging in "harmless" conversation. There are situations where I feel comfortable chatting it up with a fellow athlete and times that I don't. During a group training session, in a transition area before/after a race, at the local bike shop, etc. - I'll yak your ear off... times when I may not be as open to conversation are in the pool (I'm there to workout not socialize and you are interrupting my workout), while I'm out running or cycling by myself not so much... I don't expect you to understand but I do expect you to at least respect my point of view.

Coincidence? That most female athletes have a similar story? Do you have many female friends or training partners that workout alone often? It's unfortunately quite common, just about every female triathlete, runner, cyclist I know has had a similar experience, again I don't expect you to get it because it's not something you've ever experienced or likely ever noticed. If you are trying to say I'm lying... really? What would I get out of that? Why? I'm sharing my experience to try to explain why women react to men like this... but you insist their reasoning is invalid... if you want to just dismiss it that's fine but that doesn't change the fact that it's true.

Regarding asking women you don't know random questions... see my multiple other posts above. She gave a clear signal that she didn't want to socialize but that doesn't matter... I get it, a lot of men probably aren't good at recognizing this. She answered the question even though she clearly didn't want to talk to them, but her answer wasn't up to snuff so we must make a Slowtwich post on it and then dismiss every comment that gives a female point of view because it's not what you want to hear. Who am I? A women that has been an athlete since middle school, a woman who has had many awesome male training partners - in fact most of my training partners are guys (including my husband), the vast majority of my interactions with other athletes male and female have been great, but I've also had some undesirable in excusably bad experiences with men (that I didn't know and had never met before) while out training alone... those few bad experiences are what keep us women at a heightened awareness.

Maybe here's an analogy you can understand: Most cyclist have hundreds/thousands of uneventful encounters with vehicles on the road, most are great drivers that respect you sharing the road with them and want to do you no harm whatsoever, sometimes they'll even wave you across the intersection at a 4-way stop or pull over on the side of the road to help you out if they see you have a flat or need help, or offer to give you a ride if you get caught in a storm. Then there's those "other" vehicles, those that come up close behind you and lay on the horn, that pass way to close, throw things at you, smoke you out as they gun past you in their pickup, or even those really bad ones that are very aggressive and run you off the road or cause an accident... these vehicles are a small percentage in comparison to the many other "good" vehicles you encounter during your ventures on the bike, but those encounters are still far more common that you would like. So when you hear a vehicle approaching you have a heightened awareness, is this one of the many harmless respectful vehicles or one that means me harm for no reason other than they think they are better than me and I shouldn't be out on the road or do it because they can and it makes them feel "big". Do you not brace a bit when you hear a fast vehicle or loud truck approaching from behind? Do you not make a split second decision about whether this is a good vehicle or the "other" type? If you get that uncomfortable feeling as they approach (a feeling based off a few past bad experiences) and there's a pull off just ahead do you not sometimes take it just in case rather than assuming they are probably just one of the many other harmless/respectful vehicles out on the road? Hopefully, this is a situation you can understand and relate to. While you don't like it and trust me I don't like it either but this is the same thought process many of us women go through when we are out training and encounter men that we don't know, particularly when we are training solo.

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Elisha
"Triathlon doesn't build character. It reveals it."

Actually, you do get to brag. nicely done.

There's an interesting bit in a cycling article I read, you've all probably seen it and I'm too lazy to dig out the link, but it emphasizes how the pros that win road races have honed, among all their other attributes, the ability to suffer more/better than others.

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_____________________________________
What are you people, on dope?

—Mr. Hand

Elisha, I liked your analogy further down in the thread about how we tend to cringe when we hear a loud "unfriendly sounding" car coming up behind us just out of instinct and self preservation. I think it is a super good explanation to convey the emotions and fear that a women athlete may experience while training solo.

But honest question to the women around here. Do you equate other guys on bikes in spandex with cycling cleats obviously out for a workout (and not out there to randomly stake out athletic women at a gas station) in the category of menacing vehicle or friendly vehicle.

I would have thought just by being out on the road for a workout the guys must actually be out there truly for a workout and not to stalk out women who happen to be on that road also biking. I can see how women in a gym don't want to be hassled by men in the gym, because it's not like a bar even though guys seems to want to treat it the same way at times. But at a stop during a ride where the people trying to make conversation are clearly other athletes vs some random dude in the gas station who might proceed to stalk the female biker by car....to me I would think this is a different picture.

I tend to smile and wave to other riders, both male and female. I'm out there treating them all as fellow athletes. I'm like 138 lbs dripping wet and most of the women athletes I smile to can probably beat the living crap out of me anyway because they are bigger and stronger, but every once in a while I'll get the exact same reaction as the OP post (minus the question about pickle juice which I can see could easily go waaaay the wrong way)

All I can say is don't be surprised if you are on the side of the road in need of help and no one stops. Not my problem and I'm not a shrink that is going to sort through yours and contemplate "am I being creepy for helping".