"...she neglected herself during the marriage? she was married to a renown cyclist and had 3 kids, i would hardly expect it to be about her. things didn't work out becuase they didn't work out. hell, most people get divorced, i just don't get "the story" behind it."
As I see it, the "story" (as Oprah showed it) was a warning to all other people in the same situation of 'getting married and thinking it's a fairy tale'... I believe that Kristin Armstrong was simply a tie-in to the show's theme. I walked in 7 minutes after the show began - and only saw the last 3 minutes of the interview. It was only a 10-min segment! That means that Kristin was the 'opener' but she wasn't the main feature: it wasn't about Kristin (or Lance), it was about the subject of 'illusion of marraige'.
That being said, I don't think marriage HAS to come with an illusion as a pre-requisite. Kristin herself thought she would be married and everything would be happily-ever-after. It doesn't happen with jobs, friends, OR marriages: all of these need constant attention.
Here's something that the show didn't have mentione: often Dallas men (sorry, TX men who are reading) tend to objectify women, not see them as equal humans with equal feelings. I say that from experience, after knowing and spending time with them for years. While I can't say that for CERTAINTY about Lance, I can say that for almost certainty about Kristin: the Dallas women expect this treatment. Objectification may be nice during courtship, but afterwards he may move on to pursue his own interests. I saw this quite often, even with Dallas people I knew.
That being said, I also admit that Dallas men creeped me out for this very reason - they mostly ignored me - and I'm hard to ignore!
Dallas/southern women especially are taught to "support their man", and that's not what the men are taught (to support the women). The men are taught to 'worship' their women (this is where the objectification can come in)-- but there's not necessarily respect or HUMANIZATION or COMPASSION in 'worship'.
I didn't know a thing about Kristin having an affair... news to me.
So --to sum up-- I think that Kristin may continue to make money off her experiences. She may become a role model for many women who feel they "lost themselves" in marriage - but as Kittycat said, having 3 kids and married to a sports star who has a busy international schedule, a foundation to sponsor, book deals, commercial shoots, etc -- ain't no wonder that Kristin was "stuck" watching the kids.
Well, duh on Kristin. If I polled the women on ST with kids they'd say that they are more often at home with them than their spouses. Ask any woman with kids with a husband with an INTERNATIONAL job and they'd say the same thing. Ask a spouse of an elite athlete and the same will be said.
That's some tough life, also -- but other couples have done it. they made it a combined vision and purpose.
"Marraige" isn't the problem, like many people [in many places] have said. A 'bad relationship INSIDE the marriage license' is the problem. 'Illusions about marriage' are the problem. 'Spouses taking their [human] spouses for granted' is the problem.
It's funny: marraige is a RELATIONSHIP.... it USED to be a 'contract' whereby men used to "purchase" a woman (for goats, etc, supplied to her parents). In medieval times, a woman was the bargaining chip between families and countries; there was no relationship. The husband took lovers and sometimes the wives did also: that's where 'romance' took shape, in wooing your secret lover.
Now-- the idea of marraige SHOULD be about finding someone with whom you are able to communicate, function, love, and create a shared life: RELATIONSHIP. Unfortunately (and this was Oprah's point), it's more about people 'who want to be married' just to be married. It's about owning another person, even if it's a wife who wants to say "my husband". That's still ownership! Young girls are finding that there is a real relationship past the 'wedding day' -- I'm amazed how many people never consider 'after the wedding'. They make a huge deal about the wedding and not about the relating.
In my humble opinion (and I wasn't there), Lance bought a trophy wife (as is the Dallas custom) -- and it took Kristin a long time to realize she had her own feelings.
My 2c,
Lauren
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Lauren Muney
certified physical fitness trainer
certified health coach
wellcoach
http://www.physicalmind.com There is no escape from your life... solve the problems and get on with it.
"Just tell her you love her and you think she kicks ass" ~AndrewinNH
"I'm moving [Lauren] to guru status" ~Last Tri in 83
