A couple weeks ago I wanted to order new checks because my current checks have an address that is twice removed. I don't think I am going to be at this address for very long so I didn't want to get a bunch of checks.

During ordering, I selected how many books I wanted. In my mind, I was thinking individual check books. I selected 2.

I now have 10 PADS of checks with my new address. I don't think I will be running out any time soon....

Whats a check?

Last winter I had booked flights down to Florida part of which was to attend Bikeweek. I went to check in online the day before, and discovered I had booked the flights a week later. Cost me $400- $500 to get them changed, basically I just had to rebook and the other tickets went to waste.

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I miss YaHey

Last summer, I changed a hotel reservation from Friday and Saturday to just Saturday night, or so I thought. Showed up Saturday afternoon, didn't have a reservation and they were completely booked. Still got charged and paid for a room about 5 miles out of town for an event that I didn't really want to attend.

Working from home a couple months ago, was waiting for all participants to get on the line for a conference call. Thought my line was on mute; it wasn't. CEO of my client; CFO of a Fortune 500 company on the other side of the transaction; and 3 other lawyers heard me tell my Belgian Malinois that "she's the best dog in the house" and "if she keeps being the best shepherd she can be, she might get a promotion from Captain Crazypants to Major Rager."

I was clearing the snow from my driveway a couple of weeks ago, and came to the area in front of my wife's car. As I churned through the drift, I hit an ice dam that stopped the snowblower in its tracks. I pulled back a couple of feet, throttled ahead, and hit it again. I pulled back for a third approach, put my weight into it, and finally broke through.

After finishing the pass, I turned back and realized that there was no ice. I had hooked the side of her licence plate and ripped it clean from the holder.

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"The right to party is a battle we have fought, but we'll surrender and go Amish... NOT!" -Wayne Campbell

How can they charge for something you didn't use?

That happened to me this past summer. Booked a Tue/Wed hotel in Chicago for depositions. Deposition was changed, so I only needed Wed. Called and changed my reservation to just Wed. Showed up and the hotel gave away my room when I did not show on Tue and was fully booked. However, hotels are never really full and I use that hotel regularly, so, I threw a hissy fit and, miraculously, an upgraded room suddenly became available.

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If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. - Will Rogers

Emery's Third Coast Triathlon | Tri Wisconsin Triathlon Team | Push Endurance | GLWR

I often use GotoMeeting to demonstrate our software to school districts. I work from home so I often don't wear a shirt in the summer. I was conducting a demo when I had the sudden fear that the video was on and that everyone on the other line could see me with no shirt. Fortunately, I had not enabled the video so I was safe, but it would have been extremely embarrassing.

Not my fumble but my brother's. He was responsible for organizing my bachelor party, including accommodation for 8 dudes. Instead of booking 4 rooms he was going to book a large suite, like a penthouse, in Vancouver.

He booked a regular 400 sq ft,one bedroom, one bathroom suite with a kitchenette. When we checked in and sorted out what happened, it was too late to get anything else (Vancouver in summer time is booked solid weeks in advance).

So we were three to one bed, two to another, one in the bathtub, one in a cot and one on the floor between the two beds.

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Long Chile was a silly place.

Another time, many years ago. I worked at Ford Motor Credit in Wyoming and would have to work late a couple of nights a week. One night a guy called and when I answered the phone - a male voice said "Rick, let me talk to Mary". I thought it was her boyfriend, so I dialed her phone and then did whatever you did back then to introduce phone calls with everyone on the line. I then said "Mary, the old fart's on the phone".

She answered it and instead of laughing, gave me a wide-eyed look. It was the branch manager. The next morning I went to his office to explain, but he didn't have a sense of humor and didn't believe me. It wasn't long after that that they let me go. I still don't understand why.

About 20 years ago I went to a wake for a friend of my wife's from high school who had passed away. I had only met the friend a few times and didn't know her well, went through the line to offer my condolences (had never met the family before although my wife knew the mom pretty well). For reasons still unknown to this day, instead of saying to the dad "Hi, I'm Brian. I am so sorry for your loss", I said "Hi, I'm Elaine (the name of the deceased). I am so sorry for your loss". I quickly corrected it but felt like an ass.

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"You can never win or lose if you don't run the race." - Richard Butler

Whenever BarryP post these days. Bonus points when he goes at it with Slowguy, JSA or Duffy.

Me, I just shut that shit down. No sense arguing with somebody who always thinks he is right despite all the evidence in the world and then calls you stupid.

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"In the world I see you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center. You'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. You'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Towers. And when you look down, you'll see tiny figures pounding corn, laying stripes of venison on the empty car pool lane of some abandoned superhighway." T Durden

Reminds me of a bad one I witnessed in law school. I was working as an intern for a judge, one day there was a hearing on a drunk driving case where the driver hit and killed a teenager. A husband and wife came into the courtroom. The judge, trying to be nice and thinking the couple were the parents of the defendant who was in custody, welcomed them and said "so, how long has it been since you've seen your son?" Of course, it turned out that they were the parents of the teen who was killed - mother immediately burst out into tears, father looked like he'd been hit with a sledge. It was awful.

I had something similar to this, except instead of the wrong date I had the wrong city.

My brother-in-law and his wife live in Charlotte. Their wedding was in Charleston. I've never been to either but heard the two city names interchangeably for a year leading up to the wedding. I booked seats for myself and my wife to the wedding, got the date right, even got a good deal...but the flight was to/from Charlotte. We kicked around driving the 210 miles but didn't want to waste that much time in the car so instead we wasted a few hundred to get the flight switched.

Oh and my all-time favorite: I was on vacation with my wife in Arizona - 6-day, seven night trip that took us to Sedona, Grand Canyon, Monument Valley, Antelope Canyon, back to Sedona and flying to/from Phoenix. I booked everything, at the time we were just dating so everything was under my name and my personal credit cards.

Day 1 we hike up Devil's Bridge, incredible experience, great pictures, decent workout. Back to the hotel for a bite then more hiking but I couldn't find my wallet. We both searched our two backpacks, all our clothes, double and triple checked, couldn't find it anywhere. We hiked back up Devil's bridge, stopping people we saw along the route, and in the meantime I was calling local police. No luck, and we had to be in the Grand Canyon that night so up we drive (my wife driving, me - sans wallet - in the passenger seat, calling TSA and my CC companies to sort things out). We get to our CG hotel, explain the situation and put down one of my wife's cards.

Up to our room, I hop in the shower then dig into my backpack for underwear when - THE WALLET APPEARS! Somehow, in all our searching, we missed a separator in the backpack and only searched one side. It was the biggest HOLY SHIT moment I've ever had, and also the biggest DOH! moment. We went to the hotel bar for dinner and I promptly got myself a shot to calm myself/celebrate. I've never been, and probably will never be, so relieved/shocked/dumbfounded in my life.

Ah, snowblowers. I was clearing around the doghouses once. As usual when the dogs were indoors, the chain was neatly draped over the top of the doghouse, a foot or two dangling free. Me being an expert snowblower operator, I was confident that I could pass within millimeters of that dangling chain.

Turns out you can wrap 10 feet of chain around an auger in about a millisecond, and bend the auger up pretty good without even blowing a shear pin. By the time I got it all shut down the snowblower was trying to swallow the doghouse.

Oh, BTW, if it took you three passes clearly you need a bigger snowblower!

I flew into St Louis in early December for a business trip. While in line to board the plane in ATL, the lady in front of me went to scan here boarding pass and got the bonk/red flash of denied boarding. The gate agent asked here where she was going and she said St Louis, but I was able to see her pass and see the initials MCI. I piped up, "Ma'am, St Louis is STL, your pass says MCI. That's Kansas City. The look of confusion to panic was obvious. Hope she made her flight, I think it was leaving around the same time.

In the fall of 1991 my family came home on a saturday to find a fed ex (maybe another delivery service?) ticket on the door.

We were not expecting a package.

"Lets go see what it is!" I said

"I dont feel like going out today, lets get it on monday" my parents said

Monday rolls around and the envelope was picked up.

In it was 4 tickets to sundays game 7 of the world series. A surprise from the grandparents.

I sat in my own home going apeshit watching the twins win and it turns out i could have been there in person.

Fuck my lazy parents! Im still pissed off

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who's smarter than you're? i'm!

I'd be pissed at the Grandparents for not inquiring as to whether or not you had received the package.

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How does Danny Hart sit down with balls that big?

You missed the greatest moment in MN sports history (We only have two of them). Your parents should never be forgiven.

Side bar, there is a really cool video somewhere on the interwebs that details the 91 world series in its entirety. Easily the greatest world series ever but I am slightly biased.

Speak for yourself. That Puckett solo in Game 6 was crushing, and to have another 10th inning solo to end the series was soul crushing.
Actually, I don't think I watched a better played(entertaining/suspenseful) World Series than that one.

Hey, did you know that most retailers don't accept your YMCA membership card as one of their forms of payment options? Pro Tip- always pay very close attention when you're trying to downsize the stuff in your pocket when shopping.

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Take a short break from ST and read my blog:
http://tri-banter.blogspot.com/

At least you found your wallet.

Friday of Memorial Day weekend last year i had planned to take my son with me to a very brief procedural early morning court appearance and then head directly to the lake. The plan being to avoid holiday traffic on the roads and get out on the water by lunch to have at least one uncrowded afternoon on the water.

I usually place my wallet in the inside pocket of my jacket. Client made a cash payment that morning so I was carrying more than usual at the time and with my kid chattering and everything else I f'd up and left my wallet on the roof of my car when I was hanging the jacket behind my seat. Didn't notice until we were almost out of town and stopped for a few donuts and reconstructed the rest from there.

Needless to say screwed up our carefully laid plans.

That was actually going to be mine. 10 years ago I was flying to Boston to buy a motorcycle and ride it back. Go to check in, I had booked it for the day before. Luckily they had a seat on the flight for that day that left at the same time. I just paid twice.

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I'm beginning to think that we are much more fucked than I thought.

In college while out one night my friends asked me if I knew any of the girls sitting a few tables away. I looked and said sure do, the one in the middle. They explained that the girls had been starring at me in a somewhat "angry" way. I figured I'd find out what was going on and head on over. I could tell right away something wasn't right and after a minute or two asked if everything with her was ok. The friends back up and I get unloaded on. Apparently I had asked her out a few days before. Completely forgot about it. She had sat around waiting for an hour or two before her friends talked her into going out with them to let off some steam.

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"I think I've cracked the code. double letters are cheaters except for perfect squares (a, d, i, p and y). So Leddy isn't a cheater... "

Wife and I were to attend a wedding in Estes Park. We arrive at the site (a hotel) and see a decorated bus in the parking lot with a tuxedoed driver, who asks if we need a ride to the wedding site. Well, I guess so..so we hop on board, along with our gift, and he takes us for a 3-4 mile ride down to a motel along the river with very little parking. We sit down on the chairs for the ceremony and note that we don't know ANYONE...sort of surprising but not impossible. Then we are reading the program...the bride was my wife's friend who I didn't know...and it seems like the wrong names....oh-oh. Turns out this wedding group was using the other hotel lot for parking but was completely unrelated to the wedding we were supposed to attend. And now we are 4 miles from that site with no cell phone and no way back. I explain the situation to one of the hosts, who reluctantly lets me use the lobby phone to call a taxi...not at all happy that helping me is taking away from her time with the wedding. Meanwhile my wife goes and stands on the road with her thumb out and snags a willing driver, so we take that back up to the other hotel. My apologies to the taxi driver who probably showed up 30 minutes later looking for us - kindly send me the bill.