Sometimes I tell my wife, sometimes I don't....it all depends.

Why bother telling her if its going to hurt her? Will it make any difference if you do or don't tell her, other then upsetting her?

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Paul

I told my wife about Doug and Jim as she knows who they are. I didn't tell her about the incidents in races as they weren't related to us in any way...people, location etc. She races too and knows it's dangerous but I still think driving to work each day is probably riskier, especially in LA. We're all going to die at some point, I don't see how giving up something you enjoy that, all other things being equal, has a general benefit to your health is going to help you live longer as it would probably be replaced by some other behaviour that carries some form of risk.

My main worry in races is cars on the course. Training is sketchy at times, particularly the cycling part, but I'd rather go out doing something I enjoy than pissing my pants in a nursing home in 80 years' time. Take sensible precautions and hope for the best.

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Forget speedwork. Speedwork is the icing on the cake and you don't have a cake yet. - MattinSF

Basically they have 9 tenants, live life to the fullest, do not turn the cheak, and embrace the 7 deadly since. - TheForge (on satanists)

I'm sure she knows about the inherent risks of riding a bike and participating in anything that can test your limits. I don't think it's worth pointing out the examples, it will just get her upset and it won't better or worsen your odds of being the victim.

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Jonathan Blyer,
ACME Bicycle Co., Brooklyn, NY

I believe that if you look around, there are risks in almost everything we do. I can get into a car accident driving to work, I can have a slip and fall accident walking the dog, or I can have a heart attack shovelling snow. I can also get hit by a car while cycling - I can do things to minimize that risk, but it will never be gone. In almost everything we do, there is a certain element of trust in others around us, and we must accept that, deal with it, and proceed. My wife, also a triathlete, understands that thing may happen while swimming, biking, running, rock climbing, mountain biking, skiing, etc.

There have been a series of unfortunate events lately in the world of triathlon, and they have perhaps drawn our attention because they happened during sport. People sometimes think "that shouldn't happen in a sport", but when you really think about it, of course they should. For some reason, people often think they are insulated from accidents while participating in sport, but in reality it's just as likely a place for bad things to happen, maybe even more likely. We shouldn't get into car accidents while driving, but they happen. We shouldn't have heart attacks while shovelling snow, but they happen. If you apply the same line of thought to accidents while swimming, biking or running I think many people will see that it's just natural order however terrible it may be. I don't mean to downplay the tragic events of late, but as a professional coach in a sport where people destroy their bodies in crashes, I will say that I am never surprised by accidents and tragedies in any sport.

Good question. I tend to avoid unless it's a situation where there was a tragedy in a race I participated in, such as IMFL this year.

Part of my unwillingness to discuss much is to keep her from worrying, but I think there's an element of denial on my part that this sport does have it's risks to loss of life. And if I don't talk about them, maybe they aren't really there. And if I am unfortunate enough to die at a race, it'll make me look ignorant if I had just talked about the risks involved and proceeded forth anyways - I'd much rather be remembered as a victim of a tragedy than an idiot.

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Coach at KonaCoach Multisport

Tend to keep it to myself concerning bike accidents. There is enough local bad news on tv concerning people on bikes. I have told her about some of the swim related deaths in races.

Parkito-I am the female spouse and I don't really understand all the commotion.
what do you think will happen if you share something with your wife? She will have a breakdown, she will forbid you to ride your bike, race? What do you think we are ? mamby pambys? Don't you want to share your fears, your anxiety with someone who understands you better then all the guys blowing snot out of their noses? Who better to talk with? and you can probably find a good time to discuss things-instead of at the stop lights-Yeh, did ya hear......talk to us-we'll be more than happy to listen ;-)

I agree!!!

Shits happen all the time, everywhere that is not at all Tri related anyway... not need to make a big out of it (of course if you know the person it is a different story)..
as the French saying goes: "With IFs we could put Paris (the city :)) inside a bottle"

Fred.

I only tell her if it will get me permission for buy some new tri-stuff. :) ;)


Now if only a set of Zipps could somehow be spun safety gear. ;)

Thats what I told my boss to get my Zipps, they make me safer.

Dave

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Dave Campbell | Facebook | @DaveECampbell | h2ofun@h2ofun.net

Boom Nutrition code 19F4Y3 $5 off 24 pack box | Bionic Runner | PowerCranks | Velotron | Spruzzamist

Lions don't lose sleep worrying about the sheep

what do you think will happen if you share something with your wife? She will have a breakdown, she will forbid you to ride your bike, race? What do you think we are ? mamby pambys?

I'm glad you chimed in. I always enjoy your posts (am I am being dead honest, no sarcasm).

No, she won't forbid me to ride, she knows my level of passion. But, yes, I do make her aware of what and where the risks are in this sport as they pertain to me. I can't and don't lie to her. But, telling her about the unfortunate circumstances of others can't possibly help her feel more comfortable, or less concerned. The chances of me having a swimming problem are pretty remote. These two particular stories don't pertain to my personal risks. I therefore see no benefits in telling her about them.

As far as mamby pambys (or namby pambys), I worded the original question in a nonsexual form. Significant others, so, womens what do you tell your SO's is an equal part of the discussion. I was not implying or otherwise indicating that female spouses were specifically not up to the task of dealing with the downside and risks of the sport.

Don't you want to share your fears, your anxiety with someone who understands you better then all the guys blowing snot out of their noses?

But, see, that's probably also the point, in a race I don't have any fear. In a race, I will far more willingly push the envelop than I ever do in training. My concerns are the normal, reasonable awareness that riding a bike for 4,000+ miles a year out on the open roads represents a reasonable risk. I share that information with my wife, and I make promises to exercize good judgement. She trusts me with that and I appreciate it. As far as my snot blowing friends go, I love sharing the stories of our races and training experiences. The more horrendous, the better! So, there I was ...

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Behold the turtle! He makes progess only when he sticks his neck out. (James Bryant Conant)
GET OFF THE F*%KING WALL!!!!!!! (Doug Stern)
Brevity is the soul of wit. (William Shakespeare)

I don't tell her. It's not so much a matter of "she doesn't need to know" as "she doesn't need to worry any more than she already does."

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Some are born to move the world to live their fantasies...

https://triomultisport.com/
http://www.mjolnircycles.com/

I don't think it's worth pointing out the examples, it will just get her upset and it won't better or worsen your odds of being the victim.

I like your summary.

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Behold the turtle! He makes progess only when he sticks his neck out. (James Bryant Conant)
GET OFF THE F*%KING WALL!!!!!!! (Doug Stern)
Brevity is the soul of wit. (William Shakespeare)

I tell her these things all the time and although she is concerned and scared sometimes (you should have seen her face when we drove the Lake Placid course and were descending into Keane), she understands the risks involved and knows 100% what I would want if gawd forbid anything bad were to happen. That way, the post accident can be a little easier. Communication is the key 100%

i called my husband about doug, as it was very upsetting to me, much like everyone else around here. he knew i was knitting a blanket for him, and i felt he would want to hear the news because i told him all about doug. he felt it was really sad and was sorry to hear it, etc.

the only things i cannot tell my husband is when a car nearly buzzes me, or when i've had close calls with a bike wreck. this upsets him way too much, and he doesn't want to know about it. also, if i went on and on about "close calls", his support might lessen>so telling him this stuff is a loose loose.

Good question. I tend to avoid unless it's a situation where there was a tragedy in a race I participated in, such as IMFL this year.

Good point, I didn't factor that into my original question. If I was at a race where something happened, it would definitely have an effect on me, and I would definitely have to share/explain that to my wife.

Yet, if it was 16,000 person marathon, and somebody dropped from a MI, I probably wouldn't be personally impacted unless I saw the actual scene. I find that somewhat curiously strange. Anonyminity in numbers I suppose (and the clearly obvious nuumber of people running with minimal fitness in those races).

I'd much rather be remembered as a victim of a tragedy than an idiot.

You know, we're dead in those circumstances, and it really isn't left to us to decide how we get remembered for the most part. I think the Doug Sterns, and the Jim McCanns are the exceptions and not the rule. I have already accepted that the odds are leaning pretty heavily towards the idiot label for me.

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Behold the turtle! He makes progess only when he sticks his neck out. (James Bryant Conant)
GET OFF THE F*%KING WALL!!!!!!! (Doug Stern)
Brevity is the soul of wit. (William Shakespeare)

i called my husband about doug, as it was very upsetting to me, much like everyone else around here.

As did I, and as Lazy Ben had indicated as well. Those kinds of things happen regardless to what other activities one is involved with. Some day, we will all face an event like that.

I had shown my wife reviews and pictures of Curacao (thanks Tom D), and we had hoped to go there sometime not too far into the distant future. I did not share the story on Jim McCann as neither one of us knew him or were previously aware of him. I do have a separate thread in mind regarding these two individuals, though.

the only things i cannot tell my husband is when a car nearly buzzes me, or when i've had close calls with a bike wreck. this upsets him way too much, and he doesn't want to know about it.

Ah, now this is getting closer to the heart of the matter. I do the exact same thing. I will tell others that train and race to share and vent, but I don't tell my wife about close calls (other than the case when the idiot in the pickup cut me off at an intersection and I ended up going down in gravel and sand with the subsequent trip to the ER to get my arm cleaned out). But, at least in that case I came home in one piece and conscious. ;-)

You state that your hubby doesn't want to know. I'm not exactly sure where my wife draws that line. I feel that I draw it for her, by generally not telling her. Yet, this bugs me on a certain ethical level, which is basically what I am wrestling with.

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Behold the turtle! He makes progess only when he sticks his neck out. (James Bryant Conant)
GET OFF THE F*%KING WALL!!!!!!! (Doug Stern)
Brevity is the soul of wit. (William Shakespeare)

Well, we're not married, but my POSSLQ hears the stories, especially if it's someone we know or have met. She knows I'm an accident waiting to happen (or perhaps not waiting, as I've currently got a thumb splint from a nasty fall last week and she's seen me through several injuries and crashes and knee surgery in the 5+ years that we've been together.
I don't like to worry her, but I don't want to minimize the possibility that something could happen to me either. If I don't come home from a race in a day or two, she'll want to get rid of my junk so she can get a new roommate!

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Cousin Elwood - Team Over-the-hill Racing
Brought to you by the good folks at Metamucil and Geritol...

Significant others count. This is my one and only PC thread for the year. I specified wife in my case just so's people know. Not, like there is anything wrong batting for the other team or anything. ;-)

Still, you leave me curious as to POSSLQ/roommate.

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Behold the turtle! He makes progess only when he sticks his neck out. (James Bryant Conant)
GET OFF THE F*%KING WALL!!!!!!! (Doug Stern)
Brevity is the soul of wit. (William Shakespeare)

I wasn't being serious enuf-you're right. My whole family rides and I guess we all know what the risks are. We just except it for what it is and it probably goes without saying. Sometimes I think when we have fears and anxiety we are afraid to voice them, maybe make excuses for not verbalizing them, Hell, i don't know! Now I don't even want to think about it. Please be safe so I don't worry about you too !

    
i think the most important question is...why do you feel from an ethical standpoint all of this bothers you? (ie, "this" meaning, being in a "dangerous" situation & telling your wife or not, etc)

would it be fair to say you are wondering if it is right to be risking what you are risking by riding a bike, etc?

as for me--i try hard to minimize risk. frankly, i didn't ride that much in New York because i didn't feel it was safe enough; even during epicman, i thought it was crazy to ride on those roads with semi-trucks flying by. i was happy to have the mechanical problem and turn around to be honest.

My whole family rides and I guess we all know what the risks are.

Ah, but that is a horse of a different color. If ever one rides, everyone has an equal share of both risk and concerns. It is totally fair.

My question relates more to the SO's that don't share your activity and therefore don't have a share in doing risky behavior.

Really, this question isn't just limited to triathlon. Skydiving, deep water scuba diving, free climbing mountains are examples of high risk activities.

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Behold the turtle! He makes progess only when he sticks his neck out. (James Bryant Conant)
GET OFF THE F*%KING WALL!!!!!!! (Doug Stern)
Brevity is the soul of wit. (William Shakespeare)

Hmmm-are you thinking it's somehow unfair? you might be cheating somebody if you take these risks? Somehow you don't come across as an irresponsible risk taker-but I don't know!

would it be fair to say you are wondering if it is right to be risking what you are risking by riding a bike, etc?


I think that would be just about exactly right. I have a wife and a daughter to consider. Where does one draw the line as to their activities as ones' responsibilities change? It is a question that changes constantly as ones responsibilities grow and dimenish, relatives risks increase and decrease, and other circumstances change.

I love doing rides to see how far away from home I can get. My record is 68 miles out, solo. I love those rides. But, this year, I find myself designing new routes that keep me closer to home. Why is that?

As far as riding around here, I live on the north edge of New Jersey, but I do 95% of my riding in New York. Their roads are far better, more shoulders, with better layouts and better visibility. The Lake Placid/Tupper Lake area is an even bigger improvement over the semi-rural southern NY area that I ride. I won't even mention NJ.

I cut my serious tri bike teeth riding out of Centerville, Ohio down towards Lebanon and out to Caesar Creek and Xenia, so I am quite familiar with those lovely country roads. I had more than a few routes that were straight out of Breaking Away.

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Behold the turtle! He makes progess only when he sticks his neck out. (James Bryant Conant)
GET OFF THE F*%KING WALL!!!!!!! (Doug Stern)
Brevity is the soul of wit. (William Shakespeare)

well, i don't think it's a bad thing, your examining and going through this mental gymnastics. cycling is risky, especially where you live. to be honest, if i lived where you do i wouldn't be into cycling. but that is me; i'm a chicken, and won't even go down a hill very fast.

also, you're not alone in this struggle of doing what's right and enjoying cycling. personally, i go in waves of where i feel cycling is worth every risk and i'm fearless, and then times where thinking about biking makes me literally cry (because of the ramifications if i were to get hit, etc).

thinking about getting hit and getting seriously hurt, or worse, is overwhelming--sometimes-most times--i'm able to push it out of my mind, other times not so much. the upside to this though, is i always respect the risk. It's real, and ever present. each of us should have that realization as it keeps us safe and (hopefully) mindful and appreciative.

overall, you have to come to your own conclusion and your real truth about the risk and reward as it relates to your life and family. since you have an IM coming up, which you'll complete, perhaps this is a good time to examine this. you can take some time off, re-evaluate what you're doing, etc.

maybe you just need some time off the road; retreat to the woods for some mtb; hiking; or something new all together, and you come back to this s/b/r. or maybe you come to another conclusion all together.

for me, i expect that as long as i train on the road i will have internal conflict about endangering myself (and therefore hurting my family) and enjoying sport. i'm ok with having this conflict and it's manageable by minimizing risk as much as possible, and allowing myself the ups and downs. when i feel really scared to bike i just run more, and go with the flow.

as for staying near home, i don't think that's a bad thing. when i ran with rroof & the gang through winter, many times we'd do routes that were only 2 miles away from the base...sometimes it's just smart to stay close...after all, lots of things can happen out there.

how long have you had this struggle with risk, reward, etc?

Not the same issue for me. My wife and I both cycle and scuba dive, two potentially dangerous hobbies we do together. We always dive together as dive buddies so we can watch each other. In fact, I haven't had another dive buddy for even a single dive for the last ten years and we've done several hundred dives together in this time. On the other hand, we tend to ride differently. She prefers riding solo on a specific training plan. I'd much rather go out and hammer with the roadies. I really worry about her when she rides solo. I try to accompany her on as many of her training rides as possible, but it doesn't always work out that it's possible.

There is a certain amount of trust and understanding about the passion and inherent dangers of any physical activity, as long as I take reasonable precautions. When I met my wife we were both riding motorbikes and were into sports with an element of risk (Scuba diving, parachuting, sailing, triathlon, fast motorbikes, etc.). She knows I will not stop because there are some risks, though I have reduced the amount since we have kids. However, the zero risk level does not exist. 2 days ago I crashed in IM Zurich and she came back to the hotel to find a broken bike and a note saying 'i'm OK!'. Well, that was being economical with the truth, but also reassuring that if I was writing I was still essentially OK. One of her favourite expression is still 'I'll kill you if you die'! I tend to discuss all the dangerous aspects of the activities I am doing, but I don't over emphasise what happens to others. I find it harder to discuss with my mother who is really worried for me (actually since I was born ... or even before!), maybe rightly so.

I guess we are talking mainly about road accidents and we all (I hope) wear helmets, sensible clothing, etc. However, how many of us above say 40 have taken a complete medical check up for intense physical activities? I haven't ...

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Francois-Xavier Li @FrancoisLi
"We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing." George Bernard Shaw
http://www.swimrunfrance.fr
http://www.worldofswimrun.com

how long have you had this struggle with risk, reward, etc?

Struggle? Ha!

Generally, I only see the reward I am trying to obtain. I only really appreciate the risk afterwards I think.

That's not really my issue, I think. It is more along the lines of how much can I ethically shield from my wife? Furthermore, how do I make sure I correctly evaluate the risk, and keep myself honest? It is easier to defraud her if I defraud myself first.

I have a sailplane sitting in the backyard, disassembled in its trailer. I haven't flown in the five years since I moved here from Utah, for several reasons. I have an opportunity to sell it for good money, and I discussed this with my wife. One of the key reasons to part with it, is that I am a competitive person, and if I continue in soaring with my own glider, I would want to migrate into sailplane racing.

Now, I already know from several cross country flights, including my very first cross country solo, that I will push the envelope. In soaring, this is commonly given the affectionate term of pucker factor. It's a matter of sucking in your cheeks, but not the ones on your face, as generally it is a situation where you are dragging your ass pretty low over the ground. In flight, altitude is life. Anyway, I already know, that like most competing soaring pilots, to do well, you have to push the envelope, and I know I would push. Push to hard, and you end up dead usually.

If I do triathlons, I satisfy that competitive requirement, and the risk, at least for me, is far less in a triathlon than a soaring competition. So, I have explained this to my wife. She understands and she lets the decision regarding the sailplane to be mine alone. (So, of course, how great is that I ask you!)

I think I recognize the real risks, I think I realize my true nature and my tendencies. I just don't trot them out of the closet very often for close examination. But today, is one of those days, brought on by the incidents this past weekend.

I think the concensus is that I am not out of line in what and how much I share, and that I'd like to think that I am do so with the right intentions.

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Behold the turtle! He makes progess only when he sticks his neck out. (James Bryant Conant)
GET OFF THE F*%KING WALL!!!!!!! (Doug Stern)
Brevity is the soul of wit. (William Shakespeare)

"Still, you leave me curious as to POSSLQ/roommate."
- - Allow me to elucidate: Persons of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters.

Chaos, panic and confusion... my work here is done!

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Cousin Elwood - Team Over-the-hill Racing
Brought to you by the good folks at Metamucil and Geritol...

Great exortation. I LOVE my wife. It is so nice to be comfortable sharing everything. I have a heart arythmia, and until the Docs got to the botom of it I always shared what was happening. Was she concerned and a little scared? Yes. Did she ever say I should not train or not do what makes me happy? No. Was/Is it nice to do everything shared with no secrets...........PRICELESS. Its the way to live baby!

I have earned the tailend three letters on a couple of prior occasions. However, the version of POS I acquired at those times was for the more, shall we say, less savory acroynm.

Go luck with that.

;-)

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Behold the turtle! He makes progess only when he sticks his neck out. (James Bryant Conant)
GET OFF THE F*%KING WALL!!!!!!! (Doug Stern)
Brevity is the soul of wit. (William Shakespeare)

"the version of POS I acquired at those times was for the more, shall we say, less savory acroynm."
- - Well, when SHE uses it, it's quite possible she may be using that interpretation.

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Cousin Elwood - Team Over-the-hill Racing
Brought to you by the good folks at Metamucil and Geritol...

I've thought about this myself alot. There have been two cycling deaths here in San Diego recently, including one on a route I ride a lot. I did tell my wife, she does worry. I have two young daughters and to be honest, I do worry about the risks I take when riding my bike....god forbid something should happen to me, its not just me that would be affected.

That said, I'm not going to live in fear....there is risk in many many things I do on a daily basis, chief among them getting in my car.

So, my promise to her and what she asks is that I try to minimize the risk when I can. I ride on roads with little traffic, daylight hours only. I try to ride with a group or at least one other person for my longer rides when i can schedule it. If I'm going to ride long by myself, I tell my wife my exact route in advance. Other than that, i put a lot of miles on my trainer...more than most triathletes I know. About 40% of my total mileage is on my trainer.

As for the race-related deaths, particularly swimming-related deaths....well, she doesn't worry that much that. I did mention them to her. But I've been swimming in the ocean since I was 6 years old and a strong swimmer....she is comfortable with my ability to keep myself alive in the water. :)

Besides, last time I went to play golf I got hit by an errant tee shot (which fricken' hurt, btw)...so recent experience is that golf is more dangerous than triathlon. :)

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__________________
JP

my twitter feed

[reply]Parkito-I am the female spouse and I don't really understand all the commotion.
what do you think will happen if you share something with your wife? She will have a breakdown, she will forbid you to ride your bike, race? What do you think we are ? mamby pambys? Don't you want to share your fears, your anxiety with someone who understands you better then all the guys blowing snot out of their noses? Who better to talk with? and you can probably find a good time to discuss things-instead of at the stop lights-Yeh, did ya hear......talk to us-we'll be more than happy to listen ;-)[/reply]

In my situation my wife is a soft and tender hearted soul. It does stress her to hear about the deaths in training and racing so no I don't tell her.

We all know what is healthy and supportive for our spouses and hopefully we respect that and act accordingly.

.

Do you even tell your spouse how much you really spend on the bikes?
Will the non-triathlon spouse ever understand why a 100grm saving can cost...$500?

lol

Actually I am VERY lucky. I just mention something I am thinking of buying and before I say what the price is she says "Just get it." :)

She is the BEST!


.

Do you even tell your spouse how much you really spend on the bikes?

Actually, she is the one who talked me into moving up to the P3 instead of the P2, three years ago. First of all, she liked the "swoosh" of the seat post. Second, she thought it was smarter to get the P3-Ultegra rather than the P2 as you could always upgrade the components later. (She has an engineering background although she is now in the corporate statistics group.)

I try to reward her wise investment decisions whenever possible, so in this case I have managed to put over 9600 miles on the bike since April of 2004.

Yes, I did hit the lottery.

;-)

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Behold the turtle! He makes progess only when he sticks his neck out. (James Bryant Conant)
GET OFF THE F*%KING WALL!!!!!!! (Doug Stern)
Brevity is the soul of wit. (William Shakespeare)

It's on a need to know basis.

Most of the time, for their own good, they don't.

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float , hammer , and jog

isn't it as simple as asking yourself what your purpose is in telling any particular story that you anticipate will be upsetting? are you telling your spouse because you're hurt or sad or whatever and want to share those feelings? start talking.... are you sharing because you think there's an important lesson or point to be learned from and discussed? start talking.... the list goes on. the only real reason not to share is that the subject matter is ultimately trivial and will cause unnecessary stress for the other person. my wife knows that i ride in the mountains a lot, and she trusts me to be safe. telling her how i ripped a corner at 40+mph that i usually brake for is really only going to cause her to worry about something she's managed to stop worrying about and there's no upside. she's not going to be impressed, proud, excited or anything other then worried again.

in summary - talk about anything and everything that is important. use proper judgment when sharing trivia.

Excellent, well thought out, reasoned, logical position and conclusion. Well presented to boot.

Keep up the good work.

I have some heart issues among other things and have asked my cardiologist among others if I should stop my training and racing.

"Keep going" is the reply. Better than dying on the couch, with a coke in one had and the other stuck in a bag of chips.

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TriDork

"Happiness is a myth. All you can hope for is to get laid once in a while, drunk once in a while and to eat chocolate every day"

As far as I'm concerned, my wife knows all about it - I just took an ECG recently to clear away any doubts in that area (better safe than sorry), as runing in extreme heat was my concern.

I played rugby (that strange English game like Football but without pads and helmets) for 27 years and there was always the risk of serious injury, even death - the answer to that was to train as hard as possible to be in the best shape to avoid the situations.

In biking accidents happen often when fatigued and concentration goes. Being fitter means more concentration as less fatigue.

Swimming more will lead to being a stronger swimmer and less chance of an accident, bar being knocked out.

Running is a heart rate thing - know your limits, get them tested if you don't know, and ease off if you are exceeding them....as you get fitter your limit becomes harder to exceed.

It is all common sense really. That's my 2 cents worth.

Spoken like a man who knows a scrum! lived in Clermont-Ferrand for 5 years-Tony Marsh and ASM.

Erik Clark gives bad news to his wife all the time: his bike split. Haha.

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My wife has supported me in all athletic (and other) endeavors, including IM training and crewing for me at a 100-mile ultra. She's also a sprint/oly triathlete & lifelong runner, so fortunately I don't have to worry so much about her understanding my addiction and the risk it entails. To the contrary, I'm more worried about her safety on the roads than she probably is for mine. I'd quit triathlon tomorrow if she'd do the same - the drivers here terrify me.

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The devil made me do it the first time, second time I done it on my own - W

You are only "living" when you are doing the things and being with the people you love.
That being said,I think you should keep it to yourself .
Why worry your family with stuff like that.

You can't prevent anything unforseen on the bike and if your gonna die,how do you want to go?

I don't know about you,but dying on a bike or in a swim start are not the worst places in the world to drop.

I'll admit I worry about the same shit sometimes, and never go off on a ride or do a race without telling my wife "I love you" before hand, just in case.

You are an evil little man ...



and I love you anyway (because you are an evil little man).
;-)

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Behold the turtle! He makes progess only when he sticks his neck out. (James Bryant Conant)
GET OFF THE F*%KING WALL!!!!!!! (Doug Stern)
Brevity is the soul of wit. (William Shakespeare)

<< You are an evil little man ... >>

Does that make him your evil twin?

;-)

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float , hammer , and jog

I already have a twin. I think Bottomfeeder becomes my doppelganger.

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Behold the turtle! He makes progess only when he sticks his neck out. (James Bryant Conant)
GET OFF THE F*%KING WALL!!!!!!! (Doug Stern)
Brevity is the soul of wit. (William Shakespeare)

I had an idiot in a Lexus convertible run a red light and almost take me out on the bike one day. I decided to keep it to myself. It did shake me abit, but in the end, its not going to keep me off the bike. So since its not going to change my behavior, the only thing telling her would accomplish would to make her worry more than she already does.

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"It takes courage to do it, to be a runner. We all found that out a long time ago. Because it's about more than fatigue. It's about pain, and dealing with it for a long time. And its about resolve." - Quentin Cassidy

Unless you tell your spouse about every death you hear about during a given day I don't see why you should bring up tri-specific deaths. I looked up the statistics on the odds of dying while bicycling and it was something like 1 in 370,000, while the odds of dying in a car accident were less than 1 in 10,000. It's called "life" baby, if you're not living it you're dead.

I agree with what FrenchFried says:

"what do you think will happen if you share something with your wife? She will have a breakdown, she will forbid you to ride your bike, race? What do you think we are ? mamby pambys?....talk to us-we'll be more than happy to listen ;-)"

Seriously, your wife (or SO) should listen. Some athletes don't want any input from SO's, some do. The ones that want input should ask; others can choose to say, "I want you to know what's happening out there - but I'm taking precautions, don't worry".

I've been around both type of SO's, and I've ALWAYS been the SO who listens and tries to offer wise input. Sometimes my input was: "Just call me on your long ride -- so I know you are ok". I've never forbid anyone from doing anything!

That being said, if you are worried about age-related issues, you better talk to your doctor also. Yes, tri is dangerous -- but you also need to keep on top of your health. There's no reward for having the most manly corpse.

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Lauren Muney
certified physical fitness trainer
certified health coach
wellcoach
http://www.physicalmind.com

There is no escape from your life... solve the problems and get on with it.

"Just tell her you love her and you think she kicks ass" ~AndrewinNH

"I'm moving [Lauren] to guru status" ~Last Tri in 83

There's no reward for having the most manly corpse.

Well, crap, but I probably wasn't in the running for that one anyway. Unless, ... do you know if they go five deep or not? And, can you like do an Internet search to find a smaller field size competition? I might have a shot then. ;-)

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Behold the turtle! He makes progess only when he sticks his neck out. (James Bryant Conant)
GET OFF THE F*%KING WALL!!!!!!! (Doug Stern)
Brevity is the soul of wit. (William Shakespeare)

So, I return home this evening from the LBS with my beloved mistress all primed for the Tupper Lake Tinman this weekend, only to walk into the office to find my wife on Slowtwitch, reading this thread! She had walked in on me a day or so ago and noticed I was typing something about her. So, she bided her time, and then pulled it up.

She also wrote me a reply, which I have permission to share:

Re: My (serious) question for today: bad news and spouses [parkito]

I’d rather know than not know.
Particularly if it is on your mind.

There isn’t much down side to telling me as I already worry and it is doubtful it would affect how much I worry. After all, a year without incidents wouldn’t make me worry less.

I often wish you’d leave me a note on your route and expected time home for long rides and runs (the computer or kitchen table would be good) so I would be able to tell the cops where to search for the lifeless body… I’d also feel better if you’d wear the bracelet with insurance information, it could prevent a delay in care.

Love,
Your Beautiful Wife

So, there you have it. The route business has been on my mind, but with the advent of Gmaps pedometer, I have been addressing this problem by compiling my favorite routes. ETAs on the other hand remain a total guessing game (I get side-tracked sometimes). The bracelet has only ID, no insurance info. That needs a little attention.

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Behold the turtle! He makes progess only when he sticks his neck out. (James Bryant Conant)
GET OFF THE F*%KING WALL!!!!!!! (Doug Stern)
Brevity is the soul of wit. (William Shakespeare)