You all know that I love you, right?

Feb 23, 15 12:31

Post #1 of 66 (8923 views)

And that I would do anything for you?

Sometimes, this means tough love. And I'm going to have to scold you a little.

A lot of you folks are, well, wrongheaded. Let me explain.

About a month ago I asked Emilio to give you a special deal on running shorts. We're in the 100/100, reasoned I, and by now you guys would be turning your run shorts inside out to wear the "clean" side except that then the liner would be outside. By now (reasoned I) you're probably getting crotch rot from pulling the run shorts out of the bottom of your hamper (figuring them to have somehow cleaned themselves while in the hamper).

Emilio gave us all a 40% discount, and I bought 2pr of De Soto splits. My mistake. I should have bought 4pr. When I asked Emilio, he said fewer then 60 of you availed yourself of this offer.

Now, had you said, "I have another split short that I run in rather than De Soto," I'd have replied, "Prove it!" (Because nobody makes a split as good as De Soto's.) Had you said, "I don't run in splits," then I just don't know what to say. Maybe one day, if you read Slowtwitch long enough, you'll become a runner. Because all runners run in splits.

I asked Emilio to renew this offer, partly because I need to buy 2 more pair, and partly because YOU need to buy 2 more pair. If you're running in tribibs, okay. But it's high maintenance to run all your runs in tribibs. If you're running in tights because it's winter, okay. But it won't always be winter.

So, here we go. The old offer's back. Including the De Soto run shorts that aren't splits. It's in the classifieds. 40% offer good 'til Friday or out of stock.

Dan Empfield
aka Slowman

Re: You all know that I love you, right? [Slowman] [ In reply to ]

Feb 23, 15 15:20

Post #2 of 66 (8608 views)

Slowman wrote:

And that I would do anything for you?

Sometimes, this means tough love. And I'm going to have to scold you a little.

A lot of you folks are, well, wrongheaded. Let me explain.

About a month ago I asked Emilio to give you a special deal on running shorts. We're in the 100/100, reasoned I, and by now you guys would be turning your run shorts inside out to wear the "clean" side except that then the liner would be outside. By now (reasoned I) you're probably getting crotch rot from pulling the run shorts out of the bottom of your hamper (figuring them to have somehow cleaned themselves while in the hamper).

Emilio gave us all a 40% discount, and I bought 2pr of De Soto splits. My mistake. I should have bought 4pr. When I asked Emilio, he said fewer then 60 of you availed yourself of this offer.

Now, had you said, "I have another split short that I run in rather than De Soto," I'd have replied, "Prove it!" (Because nobody makes a split as good as De Soto's.) Had you said, "I don't run in splits," then I just don't know what to say. Maybe one day, if you read Slowtwitch long enough, you'll become a runner. Because all runners run in splits.

I asked Emilio to renew this offer, partly because I need to buy 2 more pair, and partly because YOU need to buy 2 more pair. If you're running in tribibs, okay. But it's high maintenance to run all your runs in tribibs. If you're running in tights because it's winter, okay. But it won't always be winter.

So, here we go. The old offer's back. Including the De Soto run shorts that aren't splits. It's in the classifieds. 40% offer good 'til Friday or out of stock.

Well around here, we might get lucky if we're finally wearing shorts in July. We might be snowshoeing on Jun 30th with the amount of snow coming down! But thanks for the offer!

Re: You all know that I love you, right? [Slowman] [ In reply to ]

Feb 23, 15 15:27

Post #3 of 66 (8579 views)

I cannot avail myself of the discount offer. I cannot buy splits because I cannot run in splits. I'm not sure if I have narrow hips or if I'm just too fat, but ever since I tried to run in splits in the 1970's (before I got fat) and about 1/2 dozen time since, I've got about 200 metres before the bacon smell, eminating from the friction burn on my rubbing inner thighs, has attracted neighbourhood dogs. History has shown that I cannot out run the dogs. :-(

If I wear a lycra, jammer style short, I can run in comfort, pain free, sometimes, but not always, as far as the finish line without fear of dogs. I have found some fairly short Brooks lycra shorts that work well for me. I buy 5-6 pairs every few years and run in them till they die.

I will check DeSoto to see what they offer and may try something of theirs other than splits.

TriDork

"Happiness is a myth. All you can hope for is to get laid once in a while, drunk once in a while and to eat chocolate every day"

Re: You all know that I love you, right? [tridork] [ In reply to ]

Feb 23, 15 15:32

Post #4 of 66 (8563 views)

they sell a number of things for running besides splits. i actually like to run in their tri bibs. i would like to run in tri shorts as well except i'm self-conscious about the part of me between my belly button and where the tri shorts stop in front. so, no go there.

Dan Empfield
aka Slowman

Re: You all know that I love you, right? [Slowman] [ In reply to ]

Feb 23, 15 15:36

Post #5 of 66 (8545 views)

Dan, if you run faster, people will only see you from behind, so no worries :-)

Me? I'm worried about the space between my neck and my knees. I win. Or do I lose?

I guess as long as we're running, we're winning :-)

TriDork

"Happiness is a myth. All you can hope for is to get laid once in a while, drunk once in a while and to eat chocolate every day"

Re: You all know that I love you, right? [Slowman] [ In reply to ]

Feb 23, 15 16:07

Post #6 of 66 (8464 views)

Do I get 42% as I'm one of the 60 and bought 2 pairs?

Re: You all know that I love you, right? [B.McMaster] [ In reply to ]

Feb 23, 15 16:12

Post #7 of 66 (8451 views)

damned right you do. because if you do that means i do too.

Dan Empfield
aka Slowman

Re: You all know that I love you, right? [Slowman] [ In reply to ]

Feb 23, 15 16:15

Post #8 of 66 (8432 views)

I know I deserve "tough love" more often than I actually get it. :-|

Thanks for...

1) I learned to look in classified for discounts - I've never been there, because I wouldn't have thought to look for discount codes. As far as "splits" goes, I must live in a cave, because I can recall having maybe 1 pair since I started running in '79 and they seemed no better or worse than the "normal" shorts I've used. Come to think of it, living in a woods is kinda like a cave... (hint - my screen name)

2) OT, but the "bill of rights" is worthy of a big thank you. I would have pushed the point a bit harder that if RD's put the so called "convenience fees" into the price that puts them in a stronger position to bargain and negotiate, no different than if they are purchasing number bibs, food, timing services, you name it. Broken out as a separate line item means the individual racer has no ability to negotiate a price deal. And, as you pointed out. Leaves us in the position of saying "I won't do that race." To the RD it looks like "look at all I get, and it didn't cost me a penny!" Ye ha! For the life of me I don't see how a % has anything to do with cost of data collection. A WTC event costing say $650 is no harder to process than a $50 event. It'll be interesting to see over the next months which RD's get the message.

Thanks Slowman

I saw this on a white board in a window box at my daughters middle school...
List of what life owes you:
1. __________
2. __________
3. __________

Re: You all know that I love you, right? [Slowman] [ In reply to ]

Feb 23, 15 16:27

Post #9 of 66 (8391 views)

I haven't worn split shorts since the 90's. But, for you, I ordered two. My upper thighs will soon be appearing in a road race near you.

What I do: http://app.strava.com/athletes/345699

Re: You all know that I love you, right? [Slowman] [ In reply to ]

Feb 23, 15 16:57

Post #10 of 66 (8322 views)

Dan,
This post makes you sound like a shorts Nazi. Last time I ran in splits, I still had hair on my head and it was the '70's. In fact, I think that knocking sound at the door is the '70's wanting their shorts and tie dye t-shirts back.

Anyway, I believe in specificity and since I'll only be racing tri's this year, I'm doing all my runs in DeSoto tri shorts. Any chance you can get Emilio to give a 40% discount on tri bibs or tri shorts with the thin pad? I'd be all over that offer.

Re: You all know that I love you, right? [Slowman] [ In reply to ]

Feb 23, 15 17:14

Post #11 of 66 (8269 views)

Ordered a pair today!!! Thanks for the reminder

Re: You all know that I love you, right? [roubaixman] [ In reply to ]

Feb 23, 15 17:32

Post #12 of 66 (8206 views)

"I think that knocking sound at the door is the '70's wanting their shorts and tie dye t-shirts back."

okay, you have a point there. but it's not exactly 70s. you're exaggerating. if you want to race like the mofos you have to dress like them:

Dan Empfield
aka Slowman

Last edited by: Slowman: Feb 23, 15 17:33

Re: You all know that I love you, right? [Slowman] [ In reply to ]

Feb 23, 15 17:39

Post #13 of 66 (8173 views)

in for a pair of solana camos for my son (he'll come around someday), and a pair of splits for me. if I'm not doing a brick run, I'm in splits-style shorts, period. always have been.

Carl Matson

Re: You all know that I love you, right? [Carl] [ In reply to ]

Feb 23, 15 17:44

Post #14 of 66 (8158 views)

carl knows what's cool. if you want to be cool, you run in some split shorts. if you want to get any girl you want you'll find, somewhere, and race in, a jamul toads singlet. preferably with black socks.

Dan Empfield
aka Slowman

Re: You all know that I love you, right? [Slowman] [ In reply to ]

Feb 23, 15 18:03

Post #15 of 66 (8086 views)

Slowman wrote:

carl knows what's cool. if you want to be cool, you run in some split shorts. if you want to get any girl you want you'll find, somewhere, and race in, a jamul toads singlet. preferably with black socks.

From when do girls go after any pencil neck runner geek shriveled up to aerobic nothingness? Never worked for me in high school so I started lifting weights at 16 and several decades later, might have just put on enough mass to decouple myself from the group in that picture. My wife only takes me shopping for business clothing so none of the attire on display above meets her approval from what I understand.

Re: You all know that I love you, right? [devashish_paul] [ In reply to ]

Feb 23, 15 18:10

Post #16 of 66 (8056 views)

but you never ran for the toads, did you? so how do you know?

Dan Empfield
aka Slowman

Re: You all know that I love you, right? [Carl] [ In reply to ]

Feb 23, 15 18:13

Post #17 of 66 (8046 views)

Carl wrote:

in for a pair of solana camos for my son (he'll come around someday), and a pair of splits for me. if I'm not doing a brick run, I'm in splits-style shorts, period. always have been.

Both pairs I bought were the camo. (one for me, one for my older son) They look really nice with our team RWB jerseys.

Re: You all know that I love you, right? [Slowman] [ In reply to ]

Feb 23, 15 18:13

Post #18 of 66 (8044 views)

Aw. I love you too, man.

Not that there's anything Wrrooong with that :-)

.

RayGovett
Hughson CA
Be Prepared-- Strike Swiftly -- Who Dares Wins- Without warning-"it will be hard. I can do it"

Last edited by: raygovett: Feb 23, 15 18:15

Re: You all know that I love you, right? [Slowman] [ In reply to ]

Feb 23, 15 18:19

Post #19 of 66 (8029 views)

Hug it out bro. We all suc. My fatty tighs don't warrant a split short and I'm cheap as all get out. Bring a bib deal in and I'm game. I want some 400 mile bibs so bad, just can't find a deal.

My crotch, future wife, and possible kids thank you in advance.

Last edited by: zachboring: Feb 23, 15 18:20

Re: You all know that I love you, right? [Slowman] [ In reply to ]

Feb 23, 15 18:22

Post #20 of 66 (8014 views)

Dayum...How'd you know I always race in black sox? This is getting weird. Don't think I can pull off that singlet though.

Carl Matson

Re: You all know that I love you, right? [Slowman] [ In reply to ]

Feb 23, 15 18:27

Post #21 of 66 (7988 views)

What are splits.....

I ride:
Cervelo - P-Series/R3
GT - Sensor Carbon Expert

Supporters - Flo Cycling, Mount Bikes

Re: You all know that I love you, right? [Slowman] [ In reply to ]

Feb 23, 15 18:33

Post #22 of 66 (7964 views)

Just an FYI, I spent 45 minutes gathering my DESOTO shopping cart and got my order in and POW American Express ONLY??? Nice to know ahead of time. Emilio really? or is this a website problem?

Re: You all know that I love you, right? [BayDad] [ In reply to ]

Feb 23, 15 18:36

Post #23 of 66 (7959 views)

It's what happens when your runners slip and your knackers hit the floor.. the small tearing you hear is you bum hole.... hence the splits...

Re: You all know that I love you, right? [Slowman] [ In reply to ]

Feb 23, 15 20:23

Post #24 of 66 (7779 views)

far be it from me to complaint (but hey i'll do it anyway). i like color. my shorts are nike tempos in lime green, burgundy, purple, 3 flavors of blue, olive green, forest green, black, and likely other colors i can't remember and a neon orange with pink (love that combination) and some brooks in light green and pinks. i find the desoto stuff boring. right now, lying low with an asthma attack, i've got bright orange and maroon ones one. :)

http://harvestmoon6.blogspot.com
https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/katasmit

Re: You all know that I love you, right? [Slowman] [ In reply to ]

Feb 23, 15 20:46

Post #25 of 66 (7734 views)

Sorry but these are the best running shorts anyone will ever wear, and they cost $11 on amazon.

It's all I use now. Ever. Don't take it from me though, read the 1,000+ amazon reviews.

http://www.amazon.com/Soffe-Mens-Running-Short-Black/dp/B003AU5W0A/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1424752955&sr=8-2&keywords=soffe+shorts

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