This is all well thought out and logical. Bottom line - if wife (and kids, if old enough to offer opinion) actually want to come, then decision is easy. If they are indifferent or worse, it is selfish to drag them along.

Good thinking. Ironman requires a lot of mental, internal focus and concentration. I agree with you.

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Tom Demerly
The Tri Shop.com

Your points are well thought out, BUT, you HAVE a family which equals responsibility.

Take the wife and kids, and plan alternate activities for them to do while they are there so you can focus on your task at hand. Simple.

I guess I view it differently. My first IM was all about me, but MOO will be different for me. Single dad and dragging my two boys along.....

1. It is my vacation. There is nothing else I would rather do with a week off from work. The kids get a kick out of being out of school too, so vacation for them too.

2. I dont know how the day is going to turn out, but I am pretty sure I will be looking forward to a hi five from both of them at the end.

3. Agree with you here, boring spectator sport unless your volunteering or really into it.

4. Interferes with what?? Thats what kids are here for, to remind us that there are more important things in life than... anything we want to do.

5. Kids are kids, I'm sure my teenager will be scoping out the hot tri chicks.

6. Having a family, well, means your time is actually NOT your time!

Just my thoughts, looking forward to spending the week in Madison with the kids. See ya there!

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-scott t

Why won't she let you have a long weekend to yourself? Offer her the same deal down the road if she'll go along with it. One weekend of her choice you'll stay with the kids while she goes off for a weekend with her friends. Won't that work?

She won't let me go alone because she views the trip as a vacation. Yeah, that's right, she digs hanging out with me and is supportive of something she has no interest in. My point is that I would be better off if she were not. Is that being selfish? Probably.

For all local yocal races where I wake up early and I'm back home for lunch she let's me go alone. Any travel race she wants to go. The kids stay with relatives.

Dude, if she wants to come along and be bored to death in Wisconsin then so be it. In all honesty, it's not like they have to sit in the same spot all day and wait for you to come by. Let them do their own thing...kids go to the lake, wifey and kids check out the town, whatever.

I don't know if this is your first, but when I attempted Great Floridian (my first) I went by myself, purely for financial reasons. But I guarantee the next time my family is involved wherever I decide to give it another shot.

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RunFAR Racing Services
http://www.Run-far.com
Team Cambridge
Hilltop Bicycle Repair

its part of your role as a husband and a dad to take them with you - accept it and deal with it. if you don't, you rob them of an opportunity to see you accomplish another major goal in your life. besides, you are too selfish already just for doing triathlon - especially at those distances.

you got married and had kids. there are certain responsibilities that go along with those decisions. if you are spending enough time to get ready for 4 HIMs this year, you are already spending a lot of time training that you should be using to help your kids develop into good citizens and showing your dedicated wife the love she deserves. the least you owe them is to be available to them as much as possible during your time off (my philosophy by the way)... bottom line - if you're a husband and a dad, they NEED to be there for you!

I'll differ from the majority here and agree completely with you and your points as listed. The stuff people here have ranted about being a "family man" is bulls.... Every realtionship is dead when one loses their uniqueness. You need your time, your passions, your drives, It is not selfish at all. To cart the family for a very boring time is very selfish in my opinion. The races are a bore, and you are leading your kids by doing the event on your own. Kids need to be shown that they need to be an individual, and chase their own dreams. You are showing them to be independent and they will see your strength of purpose. To me the people dragging kids along are being very self serving......they have a need for approval and take their kids to idolize them. Do it for YOU, it's ok, you've been the one doing the homework, and dragging the kids to a boring place, with endless talk of triathlon in a place with little to do but drive you crazy doesn't serve anyone but those that are guilty about what they do. Your points allow you to do your best, and show the kids it's ok to be your own person....it makes a family stronger.

...to make sure you don't get it on with some hot asian tri chick :)

Count your blessings. Some don't support their spouses at all, so you should appreciate what you have. Then tell her what I tell my wife...you can go and do anything you want to do. It would really mean a lot to me for you and the kids to be waiting for me at the finish line, but anything else you choose to do that day is up to you...make it a fun day for the kids, go shop, see the sights, etc. My wife doesn't even go to my sprints any more, and for my first HIM she arrived about 1/2 an hour before I said I would be finishing, which was an HOUR before I really finished - ARGH!!

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My first IM I went by myself, GFT last October. A couple of friends went along and did the 1/2 which was great. Honestly, I didn't want to deal with stress and hassle of having to keep everyone entertained during my first IM. I'm doing LP and we are all going. We rented a big place and my sister and her family will be there as well. There is a lot of great fishing, so the boys will be happy. We are staying along the race course, so the fam is sleeping in and will see me twice on the bike and come into town for the run. Like you pointed out, it is a long day, so no sense in dragging the kidlets to the swim start. (my sister is going to the swim start). So, I try to race where there is good hunting and fishing and then everyone is happy. They want to come and I am looking forward to seeing some familiar faces along the course. My husband has only been to one other race (in 4 years) and was a total pain in the ass, so we will see :-) That was my first year, and I think he gets it a little more now. The kids go to some races with me and will typically volunteer. They think its cool that Mom races. It is more work to travel with your family, and I don't think that there is anything wrong with going by yourself.

Your post has to be the worst peice of s%$ I think I've ever read on this forum. If you don't have a family, i.e. kids ,then you don't have any business posting---period.

I wouldn't ever "drag" my family anywhere I felt they didn't need to be, and I'm sure YaHey would say the same. It's a hassle and yes, selfish, to disturb sleeping kids, get them dressed, etc. just to make them sit around for an hr. or two. But if they want to come to a big time event why discourage them? Just let them know going in that once you get there it's all business If they want to do something you don't----well, have fun and see you later!

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RunFAR Racing Services
http://www.Run-far.com
Team Cambridge
Hilltop Bicycle Repair

If she comes along and we all stare at her, will that stress you out more?

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kangaroo -- please do not read or respond to any of my posts

Sounds like your kids are older. I have two that are under the age of 10. My teenager is a volunteer at the event so that's a whole different story. But my younger kids require a lot of attention. I love them dearly but they completely get in the way of IM weekend.

This will be my 9th IM and I've taken the whole family to 3 of them.

To give you an example of the situation, I took the whole family to a half IM about a month ago. We got there Friday for a Sunday morning event. That weekend I did not have time to warm up on the treadmill at the hotel, I did not warm up on the bike, and my typical diet was blown because we were all going out to meals all the time. My typical pre-race meal is eaten at the hotel in front of the TV before I pass out early. I did not have time to massage my legs. Also, the morning of the race they stayed at the hotel and arrived only towards the end of the run because there was no way I was getting them up and going at 5 AM for a half.

The worst situations I see are people with the kids in a stroller, or toddlers. Can you imagine just how tiring that is for the kids? Kids at that age get nothing from race day.

Yeah, I think the races are mega-boring for the family...at least for my wife and 3-year-old daughter. We went to the Disney 70.3 and stayed in the park at Ft. Wilderness. It was ideal because they went to the water park all day while I raced. I came back to the cabin after the race and took a nap and woke up around the time they got back. Sure, I'd love to have family members standing along the course cheering for me along the way IF THEY WERE HAVING FUN, but I'd feel guilty that they were hanging out at this boring race for 6 hours while I indulged my hobby. So, with that said, they're coming with me to IMFL, but I'm hoping they spend the day playing, and have only asked that they be at the finish line for my first IM. My goal is to finish before my 3-year-old's bed time.

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My business-eBodyboarding.com

[reply]Your post has to be the worst peice of s%$ I think I've ever read on this forum. If you don't have a family, i.e. kids ,then you don't have any business posting---period.

I wouldn't ever "drag" my family anywhere I felt they didn't need to be, and I'm sure YaHey would say the same. It's a hassle and yes, selfish, to disturb sleeping kids, get them dressed, etc. just to make them sit around for an hr. or two. But if they want to come to a big time event why discourage them? Just let them know going in that once you get there it's all business If they want to do something you don't----well, have fun and see you later![/reply]

I have all the business in the world posting jack..
I have taken family all over the world on occasion, so keep your condemnations to yourself. It is much more than a couple of hours for a kid, even if you're the winner. And if you know Madison at all, there will be extremely little that any family can do that week with the congestion, etc. The poster also never said his kids want to go. So before you open your yap, think.

I'm, in your camp. I have two kids under 12 (single mom) and I'll be leaving them at home while I go up to Lake Placid tomorrow for the weekend. They sometimes come to short races and volunteer too but after a couple of hours, they want to go home. Ironman is a long day - especially for me - and sometimes as a parent you are the one who makes the decisions about what is best for the kids. What about offering a family long weekend post race to a place where you can all have fun?

Excellent idea, Ironmom. Seems that you can enjoy your day and make the most of it, and then enjoy the family in a family focused time, without the stress, and issues associated with an ironman. Everybody wins......you sound like a great mom!

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Gary Geiger
http://www.geigerphoto.com Professional photographer

TEAM KiWAMi NORTH AMERICA http://www.kiwamitri.com, Rudy Project http://www.rudyprojectusa.com, GU https://guenergy.com/shop/ ; Salming World Ambassador; https://www.shopsalming.com

This is where athlete tracking is really nice for your wife and kids. They can hang out at hotel until you get close to finishing assuming they want to go. This is what we do on rare occasion they go.

Well, my kids are dying to go to my next IM with me, which will be in Panama City. I know they don't idolize me. They may have some curiosity to be in the race atmosphere. But the #1 reason is ... They get to miss a day of school.

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Coach at KonaCoach Multisport

I'm with you Scott.

Having a family changes things, or it should.

Scott,

Great points. I am in a similar situation with 2 daughters. There is no way that they would ever forgive me if they could not travel along with me. They get to skip 3 days of school and hang out with cousins who live nearby. We rented a cabin on a lake 20 minutes from town. I expect them to make it down for the finish line to poke fun at me in my moment of exhilarated exhaustion. Will traveling with my family impact my ability to race at peak form? Yeah, but so what else is new. Having a job, family, and other responsibilties all impact our training and racing. 20 years from now we will recollect our trip together but my finishing time will be a unimportant detail. If I take this stuff too seriously it no longer fun.

Oh and by the way tell that boy of yours to stay away from my daughter during the race ; )



Cheers,

Jim