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Re: USAT's Ray Rice [h2ofun] [ In reply to ]
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"So how can a board member do something so much worse and get away with who cares what he did/does in his personal life, there are no rules against it so who cares about ethics."

i don't think i disagree with anything you've written. i believe what i wrote is as follows (and i quote myself): "
1. it's hard to enforce a code of conduct for athletes if we can't enforce it at the leadership level."

which sure seems to me to parallel exactly what you just wrote. i also wrote that i stand behind what USAT's board decides to do, because they're the ones tasked with the hard work.

as a matter of policy, it's just not a case of saying jack's off the board, end of story. we have to decide, as a federation, what our policy is, for board members, for staff members, for pro athletes and age group athletes. if you are convicted of spousal abuse, is that a lifetime ban from anything to do with USAT? if not lifetime, how long? what other behaviors would trigger this kind of ban? do the constituents in a region have a legitimate right to weigh in on who they want representing them?

back in 2004 lew kidder and i sat down and wrote out a lot of these kinds of things. not this specifically, just, election laws, voting regions, we rewrote about a third of USAT's bylaws. so, while people are going ballistic and tweeting all over the internet tonight that i'm in favor of wife beating, somebody, somewhere has to soberly, as an adult, actually deal with this issue and others like it.

what jack did was something i could never conceive of doing. but it happened. what is my proper response? not yours, but mine. not to this as a matter of USAT or triathlon policy, but, just as a person. as i wrote above, my first concern is jack's wife. my second concern - and if this causes you to cancel your subscription to slowtwitch i'll refund your dues - is that jack heals just as esther heals, and that jack becomes or remains the husband esther deserves.

i don't consider this a binary choice, that if i abhor domestic violence i must abhor the person guilty of it. this is separate from my view of whether jack should remain on the board. i just don't consider the board issue the most important issue at the moment, for me, just, personally. i also don't consider the board issue a decision i have to make; rather, we elect a board, it's an able board, and - again, as i stated a couple of times - i'm not going to criticize them for what they've done in the past nor for what they'll decide in the future regarding jack weiss. they have a tough job and i salute them for doing it.


Dan Empfield
aka Slowman
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Re: USAT's Ray Rice [h2ofun] [ In reply to ]
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h2ofun wrote:
Wow. I just never understand how any male can hit a female. Never ever any excuse for this other than these folks have some big issues.

.

I don't understand how some people can go through life being huge tools (not specifically referring to your response here, just in general) and not know it.
Never any excuse for this other than these folks have some big issues.

People make mistakes, much worse than this and life goes on. Do you know all the facts of the case, have you read the legal record? If not, maybe you ought not to start judging people, because there are two sides to every story.

Anyone who is willing to admit they are wrong and serve the punishment the legal system gives them should not have to wear a scarlet letter. You have a problem with that, get the law changed. Otherwise STFU. If it is a personal friend or acquaintance feel free to distance yourself, but calling out complete strangers is just self righteous BS.
Usually you find the people who are first to cast the first stone have something to hide themselves. You might have more in common with Larry Craig than you thought.
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Re: USAT's Ray Rice [Lacticbath] [ In reply to ]
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Lacticbath wrote:
Cheating on wives right up there with beating on wives???? That is an insane way of thinking ... Yikes.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors wife.

Pretty insane.

It's all subjective, but I agree cheating and beating are about equally bad, depending on the specific circumstances. Let's not split hairs, but "beating" your wife spans a pretty wide range. So you think pimp slapping your wife once is a bigger betrayal than carrying on a two year affair with her sister (just an example)?

Cheating on spouses is kind of like DUI. People rationalize both of these behaviors are acceptable because pretty much whether we directly know it or not, we know someone who has done one of these things, maybe even ourselves. But then we as a society sometimes put people in jail for smoking a joint.

So your righteous indignation is about par for the course and I am sure you never cheated on a wife or girlfriend, smoked a joint or got behind the wheel when you had a little too much to drink, because if you did you wouldn't be posting stuff like this.
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Re: USAT's Ray Rice [h2ofun] [ In reply to ]
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"I wrote to you since you know him, talked to him about this, and your post came off to me like you are supporting him."

i am supporting him. and his wife. in any way i can. but that doesn't explain or lessen what he did. i just can't even conceive of it, myself. but, dave, if you murder somebody, or embezzle from the community chest, and it's in my power to do something to support your family or even you, and if i can look past what you did - and i hope i can - then i will. somebody noteworthy said, "i was in prison and you came to visit me." it seemed to that fellow a pretty important thing to say. to him, the crime and the justice meted out was up to caesar - it was the visitation that was important.

i think i ought to make something clear. when i wrote about adultery and battery I did not say nor did i mean that our laws or that society in general ought to reflect any equivalency between adultery and battery. rather, that in my own personal sense of honor and behavior battery and adultery are each morally appalling, each exceedingly disappointing to me. I don’t see a need to lessen the severity of one act in order to raise the severity of another. I don’t feel a need to rank them, and to say that one is three-fifths as bad as the other.

my point in saying it at all is that we all bring our own ideas of what behavior is reprehensible, thoughtless, selfish, harmful and intolerable. then we have to decide what, as a community of athletes, to do with each specific act. lifetime bans? 2 year bans? no ban? ban for board service but not to enter a race? some of us have to debase our own ideas of what is reprehensible behavior to form a common understanding of what is tolerated and what is not.

I obviously have to debase my idea of what is reprehensible behavior, and I gladly do, because my own sense of personal honor, and my own view of how a proper husband acts, is not practically extended to others. it's my own sense of honor, not what i would require outside of my own marriage. lord knows - and my wife knows - i'm not the perfect husband. but to me loyalty, fidelity, honor, are big ideas. oddly, they are with jack, too. which makes what happened just that much more incongruous and inconceivable to me.



Dan Empfield
aka Slowman
Last edited by: Slowman: Oct 15, 14 1:03
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Re: USAT's Ray Rice [tri_yoda] [ In reply to ]
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Claiming you can't have an opinion about a person's behavior of you've ever done something sketchy is about the most intellectually bankrupt idea I've ever read here. Congratulations on that.

Since so many of you keep getting lost: this is about a spousal abuser representing us.

If we are not horrible people, we absolutely SHOULD have a problem with this.
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Re: USAT's Ray Rice [TrekGeek] [ In reply to ]
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TrekGeek wrote:
Has he failed you in any sort of way? Did your USAT card not get mailed to you in time? Are your results screwed up? IF his actions cause him to not be able to do his job, then ok, but if they didn't, quit your bitching. If you want to throw a 3rd grade tantrum about something, why don't you call the Whitehouse and demand something be done about ISIS or healthcare issues. Something that is in SERIOUS need of help.

Yes, as a representative, he absolutely failed all of us.

We are not talking about a paid employee tasked with mailing membership cards. We are talking about the board of directors. This shouldn't be difficult to differentiate.

Fortunately, I can chew gum and walk at the same time. Caring about more than one issue isn't difficult for most of us.
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Re: USAT's Ray Rice [TrekGeek] [ In reply to ]
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TrekGeek wrote:
UNLESS you're a perfect human being, you can't throw a damn thing. Period!

"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone" is about meting out punishment, not criticism. We live in a society, thankfully, where people are allowed to criticize others. Sort of like what you have done in this thread. Unless you are actually Jesus or the equivalent.

My wife of 18 years was hard pressed to determine whether being on the receiving end of an incident of spousal abuse was worse than an incident of marital infidelity. Both inflict real damage. Luckily, she has experience with neither.

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"Go yell at an M&M"
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Re: USAT's Ray Rice [Slowman] [ In reply to ]
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Slowman wrote:
"Cheating on wives right up there with beating on wives???? That is an insane way of thinking ... Yikes."

to you, and to the fellow who told me to go fuck myself, i think you misunderstand. you assume i'm bringing wife beating down to the rather (i suppose) minor level of cheating on your wife. it's really the other way around. beating your wife is just unconscionable to me. it's just, so is cheating on your wife. to me, to my thinking, i just think it's a way worse act than a lot of other people consider it. but i'm not going to castigate you, or the go fuck yourself guy, for being so cavalier about cheating on your wives.

wait. did i just accuse you of being cavalier about cheating? that wasn't very nice of me, was it? i'll bet that made you mad. i apologize.

probably best if we don't accuse each other of "insane ways of thinking," or tell each other to go fuck ourselves. or for me to assume that you don't take your marriage vows seriously. it's probably better to try to soberly discuss an issue, each assuming that the other is a man (or woman) of goodwill.


This is the worst strawman argument in the history of a forum that is filled with posters who try to use them. Disgusting and insulting on so many levels. People reading this are not stupid. You are proving to be as arrogant as Jack in the defense of something that is indefensible. It's understandable to defend a friend but to dismiss the actions and continue to support his role in a governing organization while holding up the woman he battered as a reason he should get a pass is incredibly low. Even for you.

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Last edited by: travis_lt: Oct 15, 14 5:25
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Re: USAT's Ray Rice [Slowman] [ In reply to ]
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jack did something dishonorable.

Now he has a chance to do something honorable.

Resign so the board does not have waste time on something like this or figure out a way to write a bylaw to cover it that wont expose themselves legally. Would it really be so tough for him to say "I resign so the board can focus on other things" and would that be a huge deal for jack to not be on the board?
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Re: USAT's Ray Rice [dhr] [ In reply to ]
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dhr wrote:
Claiming you can't have an opinion about a person's behavior of you've ever done something sketchy is about the most intellectually bankrupt idea I've ever read here. Congratulations on that.


That's not what he said or meant:

"So your righteous indignation is about par for the course and I am sure you never cheated on a wife or girlfriend, smoked a joint or got behind the wheel when you had a little too much to drink, because if you did you wouldn't be posting stuff like this."

It's about perhaps having some perspective if you have been in the same boat, not about having an opinion.

The mob mentality in this thread is outstanding.





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"Go yell at an M&M"
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Re: USAT's Ray Rice [klehner] [ In reply to ]
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It's about perhaps having some perspective if you have been in the same boat, not about having an opinion.


I think you have come to the heart of the disagreement. Some of us have not, nor will we ever be "in the same boat"; while it appears that some of you have been. I'm relatively certain that the perspective (and tolerance level) of someone who has committed something like domestic violence differs significantly from someone who never would/could.

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Last edited by: bhc: Oct 15, 14 5:37
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Re: USAT's Ray Rice [bhc] [ In reply to ]
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bhc wrote:
It's about perhaps having some perspective if you have been in the same boat, not about having an opinion.


I think you have come to the heart of the disagreement. Some of us have not, nor will we ever be "in the same boat"; while it appears that some of you have been. I'm relatively certain that the perspective (and tolerance level) of someone who has committed something like domestic violence differs significantly from someone who never would/could.

Empathy does not require personal experience: it requires humanity and compassion. My response was directed at the poster who believed that someone was suggesting you can't have an opinion about the topic if you had done something like this. That was the wrong interpretation.

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"Go yell at an M&M"
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Re: USAT's Ray Rice [travis_lt] [ In reply to ]
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"It's understandable to defend a friend but to dismiss the actions and continue to support his role in a governing organization while holding up the woman he battered as a reason he should get a pass is incredibly low. Even for you."

just, to be clear, i'm not defending anyone (nor did anywhere in this thread), nor am i supporting his role in a governing organization (nor did i ever in this thread). if you could step down from that high place and read what it is others are writing, it would help us understand each other. if that's of any interest to you.


Dan Empfield
aka Slowman
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Re: USAT's Ray Rice [ironjack] [ In reply to ]
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ironjack,
You owe no one but your wife, family and your God an explanation and a mea culpa, certainly not the self-righteous moral crusaders on a triathlon forum who have never succumbed to the frailties of being human. Don't bother posting anything further on the subject, it will only provide further fodder for you to be criticized.
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Re: USAT's Ray Rice [elwoodblues] [ In reply to ]
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elwoodblues wrote:
ironjack,
You owe no one but your wife, family and your God an explanation and a mea culpa, certainly not the self-righteous moral crusaders on a triathlon forum who have never succumbed to the frailties of being human. Don't bother posting anything further on the subject, it will only provide further fodder for you to be criticized.

I don't think that most are asking for an explanation or a mea culpa. Just a resignation.

How does Danny Hart sit down with balls that big?
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Re: USAT's Ray Rice [2stepTriGuy] [ In reply to ]
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I don't see any equivalency between an NFL player and a USAT board member.
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Re: USAT's Ray Rice [BLeP] [ In reply to ]
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Exactly, just resign. ...Snowman, what is your advice to jack on the resignation decision?
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Re: USAT's Ray Rice [Steve-oH!] [ In reply to ]
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"Snowman, what is your advice to jack on the resignation decision?"

i was wondering if anyone was going to get around to asking me that. not that i was hoping to be asked, and, i hope you'll give me a few more hours before i answer it. do you mind if i defer the answer for a little while?

and i'm not snowman ;-)


Dan Empfield
aka Slowman
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Re: USAT's Ray Rice [Slowman] [ In reply to ]
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Thick fingers
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Re: USAT's Ray Rice [Slowman] [ In reply to ]
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Slowman wrote:
"Snowman, what is your advice to jack on the resignation decision?"

i was wondering if anyone was going to get around to asking me that. not that i was hoping to be asked, and, i hope you'll give me a few more hours before i answer it. do you mind if i defer the answer for a little while?

and i'm not snowman ;-)

That's a frosty response.
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Re: USAT's Ray Rice [Slowman] [ In reply to ]
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Slowman wrote:
"i am kind of old school, i guess, because i stick cheating on wives right up there not too far below beating on wives. maybe even with it.

WOW, JUST WOW!

If there was a way to see the character of a person from a one line sentence on a forum, this is it!

I guess "old school" means- "Woman, get your ass in the kitchen and make me a sandwich and bring me a beer!"

Just WOW!

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Re: USAT's Ray Rice [relentless] [ In reply to ]
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this is what mystifies me about reader forums. how does my view that cheating on your wife is a really bad thing translate to woman, get your ass in the kitchen? can you help me with how you made that leap? other than, wow just wow?

Dan Empfield
aka Slowman
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Re: USAT's Ray Rice [Slowman] [ In reply to ]
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Just too bad you brought in cheating to this topic. It can be seen as trying to divert away from how serious assaulting a female is.

I understand the board can only do what their by laws state.

BUT, if Jack is this changed person who you defended him as, then clearly, he would understand this is a BIG deal and should resign. Since
he continues to basically tell us it is none of our business and he will do what ever he wants, well, changed, .....

You are talking a person in a leadership position. You are talking a person who is part of deciding things like what rules are used against the sport.

I also care for his wife and as I posted from my first hand experience, guys like this do not change. Too bad she seems to not have had the family support
to break away and start a better life. I know if I ever laid a hand on my wife I sure would expect her to walk. (Also if I cheated on her but with some of our top
leaders actions of leading by example, and how the media basically said whats the big deal, well, you might be in the minority ...)

I have tried to be very careful to not attack Jack personally since I have no right to do that. I am far from perfect. I just do feel strongly that our
leaders should be leading by example, not hiding behind a lawyer and the legal by laws. (Just like Kevin Moats did and Lance)

I again ask, how was this hidden from the membership before the last vote?

.

Dave Campbell | Facebook | @DaveECampbell | h2ofun@h2ofun.net

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Re: USAT's Ray Rice [Slowman] [ In reply to ]
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Slowman wrote:
"It's understandable to defend a friend but to dismiss the actions and continue to support his role in a governing organization while holding up the woman he battered as a reason he should get a pass is incredibly low. Even for you."

just, to be clear, i'm not defending anyone (nor did anywhere in this thread), nor am i supporting his role in a governing organization (nor did i ever in this thread). if you could step down from that high place and read what it is others are writing, it would help us understand each other. if that's of any interest to you.

Dan, you're an industry leader. Or at least you are in the position to be one. Some of the things you've said on this thread in regards to women and the treatment of women are incredibly tasteless and troubling. For better or worse both you and Jack, if he's in a leadership position, have a greater responsibility in their words and actions than any simple card carrying USAT member. You're only statement on this thread should have been to note Jack was a friend, that his actions were deplorable and that he should remove himself from a leadership position. Instead you've tried to interject your personal feelings for a friend into the discussion and in the process painted yourself as someone who on some level can rationalize and condone punching a woman in the face until she's bruised and bleeding. You've completely failed in your position as someone who should be setting the standard of how the leaders of this sport and industry should behave.

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Re: USAT's Ray Rice [Slowman] [ In reply to ]
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Slowman wrote:
"I wrote to you since you know him, talked to him about this, and your post came off to me like you are supporting him."

i am supporting him. and his wife. in any way i can. but that doesn't explain or lessen what he did. i just can't even conceive of it, myself. but, dave, if you murder somebody, or embezzle from the community chest, and it's in my power to do something to support your family or even you, and if i can look past what you did - and i hope i can - then i will. somebody noteworthy said, "i was in prison and you came to visit me." it seemed to that fellow a pretty important thing to say. to him, the crime and the justice meted out was up to caesar - it was the visitation that was important.

i think i ought to make something clear. when i wrote about adultery and battery I did not say nor did i mean that our laws or that society in general ought to reflect any equivalency between adultery and battery. rather, that in my own personal sense of honor and behavior battery and adultery are each morally appalling, each exceedingly disappointing to me. I don’t see a need to lessen the severity of one act in order to raise the severity of another. I don’t feel a need to rank them, and to say that one is three-fifths as bad as the other.

my point in saying it at all is that we all bring our own ideas of what behavior is reprehensible, thoughtless, selfish, harmful and intolerable. then we have to decide what, as a community of athletes, to do with each specific act. lifetime bans? 2 year bans? no ban? ban for board service but not to enter a race? some of us have to debase our own ideas of what is reprehensible behavior to form a common understanding of what is tolerated and what is not.

I obviously have to debase my idea of what is reprehensible behavior, and I gladly do, because my own sense of personal honor, and my own view of how a proper husband acts, is not practically extended to others. it's my own sense of honor, not what i would require outside of my own marriage. lord knows - and my wife knows - i'm not the perfect husband. but to me loyalty, fidelity, honor, are big ideas. oddly, they are with jack, too. which makes what happened just that much more incongruous and inconceivable to me.


I just love when the Editor deletes a response.

Other than a few who seems the best approach is to attack anyone willing to say this is wrong, well, ...

I see for most of the posts a common thread that what Jack did is terrible. But, then the statements are he should resign since he is in a leadership position. I do not care what his lawyer say, or what the by laws are, he made the bed, and he has to sleep in it. Board members HAVE to be, IMO, above the rules, not hiding behind them. By being a board member he has CHOSEN to be a public figure and therefore ALL his actions are fair game.

You keep bringing up his wife. In my experience with friends, the advice and support I gave them was to leave and start a new life. People like this do not change. And if they change, great, they should do it with other people. His wife deserves a life without having to worry that what happened could happen again, or worse. Just my opinion. But most never leave.

So bottom line, no matter what rules, etc can be hidden behind, the angle you seem to ignore is the ethics of this. Yep, you keep talking about by laws this, or legally this, but having read your posts for a decade, just seems that you staying away from what most are posting, which is resign because of ethics, you are too close to this person. If this was another board member who you did not know as well, not sure your posts would be the same. (I say this because of how you posted over the years about Lance. It was only at the end did you stop defending him to be honest on how I read your posts).

Yes I wish Jack the best, but he should do it off the board. I wish his wife the best, but think she deserves better in life.

But given what has been and is going on with our countries elected officials, we sure have very few who lead by example

.

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