THESE PRETZELS ARE MAKING ME THIRSTY!!

Trivia:

Prognosis Negative was an unproduced screenplay written by Larry David. It was about a single guy who is unable to commit to a relationship. He finds out an ex-girlfriend has six months to live and decides its perfect...he can commit without worrying about the long term consequences.

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"Knowledge is good" - Emil Faber

These PRETZELS...are making me THIRSTY!

Well would she have hooks??

I just bought stock in Kramerica!!

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Steve Q

WHO WANTS TO HAVE SOME FUN!

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"What the mind can conceive and believe, the mind and body can achieve; and those who stay will be champions."

I want to have some fun...

Are you just saying you want to have some fun or do you really want to have some fun?

I was just saying I wanted to have some fun.....

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Jerry: What you're suggesting is illegal.
Kramer: It's not illegal!
Jerry: It's against the law.
Kramer: Well, yeah.

SERENITY NOW!!!!!!

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-----------------------------Baron Von Speedypants
-----------------------------RunTraining articles here:
http://forum.slowtwitch.com/...runtraining;#1612485

The George Castanza Philosophy of Work

Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands. People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hand look like they're heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper look like they're heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.
Use computers to look busy. Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal email, calculate your finances and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss - and you *will* get caught - your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training dollars.
Messy desk. Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like you're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.
Voice Mail. Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing - they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That's no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they're not there - it looks like you're hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel. If you diligently employ the method of screening incoming calls and then returning calls when nobody is there, this will greatly increase the odds that the caller will give up or look for a solution that doesn't involve you. The sweetest voice mail message you can ever hear is: "Ignore my last message. I took care of it". If your voice mailbox has a limit on the number of messages it can hold, make sure you reach that limit frequently. One way to do that is to never erase any incoming messages. If that takes too long, send yourself a few messages. Your callers will hear a recorded message that says, "Sorry, this mailbox is full" - a sure sign that you are a hardworking employee in high demand.
Looking Impatient and Annoyed. According to George Costanza, one should also always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.
Appear to Work Late. Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but have no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss' room on your way out. Send important emails at unearthly hours (e.g. 9:35pm, 7:05am, etc.) and during public holidays.
Creative Sighing for Effect. Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are very hard pressed.
Stacking Strategy. It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor etc Can always borrow from library. Thick computer manuals are the best.
Build Vocabulary. Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products. Use it freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember: They don't have to understand what you say, but you sure sound impressive.
MOST IMPORTANTLY: DON'T forward this to your boss by mistake!!!

I think I have all of that covered.

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-----------------------------Baron Von Speedypants
-----------------------------RunTraining articles here:
http://forum.slowtwitch.com/...runtraining;#1612485

I'm a babe in the woods. I actually still think work is valuable! ;-)

Let me see the Penske file.

"I'm a babe in the woods. I actually still think work is valuable! ;-) "

And you want to be my latex salesman....

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"What the mind can conceive and believe, the mind and body can achieve; and those who stay will be champions."

Are you talking to me?

I said, are you talking to me?

Well, maybe, he was talking to me. Was you talking to him? Because you was obviously talking to one of us. So what is it? Who?! Who was you talking to?!

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"What the mind can conceive and believe, the mind and body can achieve; and those who stay will be champions."

LELAND:
Well, I'm sorry. There's just no way that we could keep you on.

KRAMER:
I don't even really work here!

LELAND:
That's what makes this so difficult.

(ps: http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/)

Favorite episode right here.

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The devil made me do it the first time, second time I done it on my own - W

look away Jerry.....I'm hideous.

I’ve got the Kavorka Jerry

Heeeeellllllllllllllllllooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. La la la.

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Andrew

"When will i learn, people do not want to hurt but will spend $500.00 bucks to go four seconds faster." - randall t

Last night I had a dream that a hamburger was eating ME.

I cannot express to you the degree to which I despise that utterly devoid, completely awful and entirely uncreative show.


This was the first reply to the thread....interesting take on what is certainly an iconic comedic show that holds up well on repeated viewings and many years later. But also an interesting confirmation that like art, comedy, or certain forms of it, are not everyone's cup of tea.

And that was a lot to say about a show about....nothing....

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Open Jerry's apartment, Jerry is at the table and Elaine is on the phone)



Elaine: (to the phone)Well did he bring it up in the meeting?



(Jerry picks up a yellow shirt and walks to Elaine)



Jerry: Elaine, see this T-shirts, six years I've had this T-shirts, it's my

best one, I call him...Golden Boy

Elaine: I'm on the phone here.

Jerry: Golden Boy is always the first shirt I wear out of the laundry, here

touch Golden Boy!

Elaine: No thanks. (to the phone)Yeah, Yeah I'll hold.

Jerry: But see look at the collar, see it's fraying. Golden Boy is slowly

dying. Each wash is brings him one step closer, that's what makes

the T-shirts such a tragic figure.

Elaine: Why don't you just let Golden Boy soak in the sink with some

Woolight?

Jerry: No!!! The reason he's iron man* is because he goes out there and plays

every game. Wash!!! Spin!!! Rinse!!! Spin!!! You take that away

from him, you break his spirit!

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*so we can say this is triathlon related....

From "The Marine Biologist", first aired February, 1994.

Mulva?

Breathtaking.

I can't believe there is a Widipedia entry for Bikini Bottom complete with Geography, Inhabitants, History, Government etc...

http://en.wikipedia.org/...ini_Bottom#Geography

jaretj

That's the name of my car! ;-) (1988 grey volvo 740 - she's an ugly pig).

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"How bad could it be?" - SimpleS