Where do I call to place the bet? I'm pulling for you BF! Think "bottomless pit", and for God's sake, take pictures!

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My business-eBodyboarding.com

Thanks for the vibes TBB. The only thing I'm concerned about now is how to conduct the victory dance.

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any time limits? so we can bet the over/under......

Peace

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"Bros b4 Hos, man" House MD

Team Aquaphor 06-08

I'm thinking you could project yourself into the air somehow using projectile vomiting to lift you off the ground. That would be a great victory dance!

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My business-eBodyboarding.com

Don't get too caught up in choreographing a victory dance... you will not need one.

Dude... NEVER underestimate konaby2008's ability to eat... YOU are going down, not him :-D

I see this matchup as being fairly epic, to go down in the annuls of smackdown history. How about rescheduling for the night before IMFL, so that I can be sure to take kona2008 down the next day?

-C

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Any run that doesn't include pooping in someone's front yard is a win.

Sorry bro, but the smart money (along with mine) is on Kona. I wish you had a chance, but this is like me VS Sergio in an open running race. Or a triathlon, for that matter. To make it a real event, you need to invite Rappstar to the party. Now THERE'd be a horserace worth watching!

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<If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough>
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OK so everything you and Paulo said was spot on. I went head to head with Konaby2008 at Jungle Jim's in Orlando last night, and he schooled me and tooled me like I was a red-headed step child. I'm no slouch when it comes to eating, but I did not hold a candle to this guy - his eating power was just phenomenal, way beyond what I had experienced before. He made me his bitch last night, but I actually don't mind. I'm just glad I was witness to a prodigious eating performance.

We played some ultimate frisbee beforehand and broke a pretty good sweat. Plus Kona was in the area training in the hills, so he and I were pretty revved up by the time we sat down to eat. That's the best time to eat when you're revved up like that. We each ordered the Head Hunter, which was an Alaska-sized burger that could easily feed two adults, a healthy mound of fries, and two green olives. This was an outrageous meal by any standard, but combine it with speed-eating and you've got a recipe for disaster (in my case) or glory (in Kona's case).

The problem with the eating is the chewing. You simply won't be competitive if you spend 95% of the time chewing and 5% of the time swallowing. This is where Konaby2008 excels - he seems to be able to get mouthfuls down his throat without much chewing at all. I'm sure he chews, but he chews much faster than I. I'm like a cow on sedatives compared to him. That's how I knew I was in trouble early in the fight. I was simply being out-eaten. What's worse is when I felt like throwing up, and this happened a handful of times, the chewing grinds to a halt and the eating is just not happening. Whatever is coming up would have to fight its way through a serious mouthful of food... either that or come clean through the nostrils. Thank God that did not happen.

Kona dispatched his burger and was halfway though the fries before I started on my fries. I actually held out hope that he would choke with one fry left and DNF (how sweet would that be?), so I dove into my mound of fries with enthusiasm. But that's when the shit hit the fan for me. Those phucking phries WOULD NOT go down. The problem was that they were so greasy and salty that my body simply refused them entry. How vile. Fries have got to be the worst food the a speed eating contest. I DNF'ed even before Kona finished and was glad nobody forced me to eat the rest of those fries at gunpoint. I would be in serious medical trouble if that were the case.

Kona finished in 22 minutes flat, and he finished strong! What a beast. Today my body stinks, my breath stinks, and my shit just killed my co-worker in the next stall. And I'm Konaby2008's bitch.

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That was a lot of fun last night. You didn't like the fries? They were my favorite part. It was so hot and humid during my bike ride and I sweat so much that I was craving salty food all day. The hardest part of the whole thing for me was eating those olives.

Today though I am craving fruit. I guess my body is trying to clense itself from the massive amounts of saturated fat ingested. I am not having any of the smell issues mentioned so far (or at least no one has brought them to my attention).

You need to post the pics that you got last night.

Don't even talk to me.

I'll try to develop those pics and post them by tomorrow or Monday. I did preview them though, and some of them captured the event perfectly.

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And you missed a Wednesday night ride for that???? Damn John, no wonder you're getting schooled. Saw Grogan Sunday on the Groveland loop. I just sat in the back and let him drag us around at some obscene pace.

Excellent race report ...er I mean competition report....This is just classic; LMAO

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http://www.mountainmettle.com

Robert, are you still recovering from Sunday's spanking at KJGrog's hands? I wouldn't be surprised. I've had a few occasions to be near him at the beginning of the bike leg, and he always pulls away from me like I had the plague.

You and Grogan need to show Konaby2008 who's boss next time he's in town (next month). You should have no problem...

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At least I took the sprint! ;) That's all that matters for a true Roadie - sit in, suck wheel then take off like a bandit! I did UCF Wednesday - it's been huge, fast and nasty lately.

Told ya so... ;-)

Paulo,

This makes both of us 1-0 in slowtwitch smackdowns.

Maybe for my next smackdown I should do something involving swimming, biking, and running... unless there are any other big eaters in or near Florida.

When is your next smackdown scheduled. Do you have anyone on the schedule before the Sousa vs. Grogan in 2026?

Don't let the Big Cuban fool you Johnnie P.. The guy is riding strong after a week of climbing at elevation (4000 ft+) in the Georgia Mountains. He made Brasstown Bald Mt. seem flat while he was out there.

Now that is a funny one! The rangers stopped me near the top and said I exceeded the weight limit for that mountain!

So when are you guys gonna ride Wednesdays? I've been mostly doing UCF - Big Cubans like fast and flat courses - but hear the triathletes are smoking the roadies now at Windymere. Let me know when and I'll show. Doing Errol this Saturday. Cuddebach's been riding strong out there lately.

See ya!

How long have you been doing the UCF ride? I used to do it in 2001 and 2002 when I was in school at UCF. That can definitely be a very fast ride!

KB2008 -

I started riding UCF 3 years ago, swapping between that and Windymere. Last year and this year I've done almost every Wed. UCF ride. It's gotten faster believe it or not. Some serious hammers on that ride. We were never below 26 last night with countless surges above 30. The wind was nasty. Love that ride! Where are you now?

It has always been a fast ride, I remember it being as fast as the #'s that you stated. Some of the highest readings I have ever seen on my HRM were during those rides. I used to do the Windermere ride too, but only on Sundays, I never tried the mid-week rides.

I am now in Naples, FL and though I do group rides less frequently than I did in those days the rides down here are pretty fast too... especially when Joe Bonness is pulling.

The Windymere ride shoots my hrm up higher, but 'cause I'm a sucky climber. Farshad has been killing everyone there lately. I think the biggest difference I have seen at UCF lately is that depth of field has gotten so strong and the surges/attacks are much more frequent.

JohnnieP. a/k/a BF -

Was that you on Sunday riding up Grassy on a mountain bike?