Nice try, dude. If you don't want this to be called a troll you may want to re-write w/ a little more subtlety and less anonymity...

Just tell your wife you are giving up triathlon for a new hobby...

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Don't hold back

In case you are not trolling I will say triathlon IS a hobby and you're wife is right. If you are married you must have heard of the word compromise which really means, do whatever it takes to keep your wife happy. You don't have to race so much, pick a few and do them. Spend the time saved with your wife and kids.

Triathlons will be around for ever, you're kids will not and your wife may not. Think of your life without triathlons, and then think of your life without your wife and kids, and then ask yourself, which is most important. Then change your plans accordingly.

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You sir, are my new hero! - Trifan 11/13/2008

Casey, you are a wise man - blueraider_mike 11/13/2008

Casey, This is an astute observation. - Slowbern 11/17/2008

Ditto

Is your wife hottie thread hot? If so post the pic. Then we will use our collective wisdom (take that for what it is worth) to tell you that she will divorce you before IMFL 2006. After that the single STrs will draw straws for the chance to date her. The coaches will draw straws for the chance not to coach her.

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Brian Stover USAT LII
Accelerate3 Coaching
Insta

Does it have to be so black and white? Why give up tri's? Why not just moderate some. Take a few weeks off this winter and spend time with your family. Don't double the number of races next year. Continue to work on ways to include your family or find other activities you all enjoy.

What's this about a tri-store? You have one, or you want one?

Go ahead and start your own business. If you want to succeed that will put an end to you racing and training for awhile.

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Justin in Austin, get it? :)

Cool races:
- Redman
- Desoto American Triple T

Now this was funny, I remembered Monty Python... "And now for the punchline!"

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"Yeah, no one likes a smartass, but we all like stars" - Thom Yorke


smartasscoach.tri-oeiras.com

I too get up at dark thirty to train so that it doesn't interfere with time spent with family. I ususally am functioning on 5-6 hrs sleep. My wife is more tollerable for my passion than yours seems to be and actually encourges me (ok she cut my left nut for buying the P3 but it was worth it). She doesn't come to my races and I wouldn't expect her to. The restrictions on time being able to train has prevented me from putting in the hrs I would like to compete in longer distances but I placed those restrictions on myself. You just have to decide where your priorities lie. If triathlons are top priority in your life then perhaps a marrage councilor could help you both work out a compromise. Don't hide things, approach her with your feelings and future plans and take into concideration her feelings as well. Good luck.

How can she hate that you do triathlons then? I take it she works there, but has no interest in the sport, or?

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Justin in Austin, get it? :)

Cool races:
- Redman
- Desoto American Triple T

"I will say triathlon IS a hobby and you're wife is right. If you are married you must have heard of the word compromise which really means, do whatever it takes to keep your wife happy."

I call MAJOR Bullshit!!!

It sounds to me like dude is already compromising by trying to minimize the impact of his training on his family. I would also venture to guess that dude's wife has issues that go way beyond his doing triathlon. AND, he owns a Tri Shop...it's his job. Most triathletes would probably prefer to patronize a tri establishment that is not being run by some out of shape guy that doesn't even participate in the sport.

He should definitely go above and beyond to try to make his wife happy (when the wife is not happy, nobody is happy), but that should not mean giving up something that he is passionate about.

Marriage counseling may help his wife understand that SHE must also understand the concept of compromise, but I wouldn't count on it.

One thing I did was get my kids involved in kid's triathlons. It was a great way for the whole family to be involved in the sport and it emphasized the benefits of dedication to training as a role model for my kids not only in athletics, but in academics as well.

I wish him the best of luck...that is a really tough deal.

Haim

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"Sometimes you need to think INSIDE the box!" -- ME
"Why squirrel hate me?"

You knew what you had when you decided to get married. Then you compounded the situation by having children. Now it is your duty to provide a united family for your children. That means a mother and a father that live in the same home. Both of you must give ground. You sound like a couple of high school kids who made babies. Sheesh.

"why is it that YOUR hobby interfers with MY life".

You can sleep on my couch in a couple of years. Oh how I don't miss being married or women in general.

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customerjon @gmail.com is where information happens.

I realize you didn't write all the facts, but one thing that you may want to try (if you haven't) is focus on her passions. Travel, reading, whatever. Show her that you're willing to get behind her and I'm sure she will get behind you a little more.

You see, if I give up tri's I lose my identity

I certainly hope that's a big overstatement.

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"People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world."

TBURG!!!!

You are calling yourself out with that last ultimatum line. Man, you need to go see a shrink about OCD if you absolutely have to train and choose to do so at the expese of your family.

I love training and have never fealt better in my life because of it. I do the same dawn patrol ritual five days a week M-F 5-7AM. Ten hours a week is all I have and I work to make the most of them. The rest of the time is family, work, and rest, in that order.

If the family is crying out...listen to them, they need something. It sounds like you have made your choice allready...the wrong one by the sounds of it. Your family will still be around when you need your colostomy bag changed. Triathlon is a seductive mistress that'll leave you when you can't run/bike/swim anymore.

I know a guy who owns a 15 year old very profitable bike shop who weighs nearly 350 lbs, and hasn't ridden a bike for decades. He has a loving wife and a great kid though. Don't let your job define you. Congrats on going out on your own, and double kudo's for getting the wife in on the family business. I think I'd respect a shop owner more if he couldn't make a workout or two because he loved his family, than one who left his family to train more. I'd probably buy more from the first one too, to help support his family.

Good luck and get some help, counselling.

What does your wife "hate" about you doing triathlons? Time, money or ??? Does she have outside interests, and do you value her commitment to those interests as highly as yours?

If 6 races was a problem and you're committed to doing 12 next year, you've declared your priorities. It sounds like some compromises are in order but you have to know what the real issues are to find the answers.

"I know a guy who owns a 15 year old very profitable bike shop who weighs nearly 350 lbs, and hasn't ridden a bike for decades. He has a loving wife and a great kid though."

How resposible is it to let one's self become so dangerously unfit? That guy will very likely die earlier than he has to. How does that benefit his wife and kid?

Haim

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"Sometimes you need to think INSIDE the box!" -- ME
"Why squirrel hate me?"

Some expert counselling:

Tell the ST community where your wonderful tri store is - you are a fitting expert as well, right? In true ST spirit, STlers will flock to your store, will drive cross-country for expert fittings and make any possible effort to make your tri shop their LTS. Profits will sky rocket so that neither your wife nor you will ever have to work again but you just reap in the profits (you may have to show up for a photo shoot every now and again). That leaves you with plenty of time to train and even more time to share your wife's "passions" with her. Also, you can take your 5-year old to swim practice whenever you want to...

Now, where to I send the bill for this counselling AND consulting ;-)

Get help.

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"People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world."