uh, I don't get it.

Not real familiar w/ women's anatomy, are we?


Serious bonus points for the "it would only take 2 of them" line. LOL.

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float , hammer , and jog

well, painting the o's could be avoided...

...male or female, I'm an equal-opportunity offender.

Paul

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ErgVideo.com

After fixing a flat at Vineman 1/2, I was passing folks as fast as I could. I came up behind a gal using the draft as I was overtaking her. I felt this what I thought was water on my face and mouth, only when I passed her the look on her face (and mine) said it all. She just pissed on me.

hammerhead cruising under me...

leader in front of me on the run dips his hat into what he thought was a water/ice bucket and plunks it full of, whoops, GATORADE, back on his head...

RD driving about 50m in front of me and the leader laying out the cones for the run course...

Me, if I could see in the third person, having to turn around and spider crawl up over a 1ft step less than 200m to the finish at Xterra Maui a few years ago, damn cramps, I couldn't bend either leg...

I guess that's the ultimate drafting penalty....

Seriously, though, that sucks.

-Brian

At the boulder peak when a bear ran out in the road and was hit by a girl on the bike. She got up and finished the race (stud).

Swimming over some cool sea life at the Ko Olina Tri on Oahu.

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Don't hold back

This was in a running race so maybe it doesn't count.

I went to watch the Elby's Distance Run in Wheeling W.VA in the late 80's. It was a huge international draw and attracted several elites with a decent purse. A short while after the elite men went past us (2 miles from the finish), some of the top women were coming by. I saw one gal about 100 yards away with what looked like horrible burns all over her legs. My buddy saw it too...and we both thought how tough she was to be able to come back from an injury like that. Then...she passed us....and the overwhelming stench of bowel movement swept the area.

Tough life as a pro runner...a few hundred bucks most have meant quite a bit to her. I can't imagine the rash afterwards.


ADW

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ADW

Not exactly a bear attack, but last year at Mightyman Montauk a cyclist was hit by a dead deer. Apparently a car hit the deer, catapulting it into the shoulder where it crashed into a rider and broke his bike.

That race SUCKED even without the flying dead animals.

It seems as though public nudity is popular at triathlons. And that involves the strangest thing I've ever seen. It was the Duke Blue Devil in '05. The run special needs bags were set up near the transition area — it was a 5 loop run course so you passed the bags 5 times. On either my first or second loop, I looked over and there was a guy changing his clothes right in front of everyone — racers, volunteers, spectators. He was butt naked and didn't seem to mind.

True- but based on my experience I'd say the atke home lesson for bears is don't F with former swimmers- you shoud ahve seen him right after I boy slammed him it was priceless.

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I'm just a 10 cent rider on a $2,500.00 Bike

This is still the way to do in Europe whenever there are no changing tents - HTFU.

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CAMPAGNOLO GRAN FONDO NEW YORK

During the Sea to Summit race we wait until race day to spray paint the North Conway section of the 90 mile bike. I usually send out my buddy to do it each year. This year I get a phone call from him telling me he is being arrested for painting the road and they took all his backup paint. I am 10 minutes behind him in my car with 1/2 can of paint in the backseat. I should also say that the lead bike rider was only 10 min behind me. By the time I reached the cops my friend had talked his way out of being arrested and only got a ticket but they said if they caught anyone else painting they would arrest them. We still had 20 miles of course to paint,,,,,,,,which I did albeit with both eyes peeled for the cops. Somehow we got it done.

At Florida along the bike course I saw quite a few guys along the shoulder straddling the bike whizzing. Not too abnormal as they were spaced evenly throughout the course.

What was strange is a pair of guys who laid their bikes down on the shoulder and were standing side-by-side against a fence 20 feet off the road whizzing.

Did the second guy not want to loose the guy he was drafting off of so he decided to tinkle also?

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Swim - Bike - Run the rest is just clothing changes.

In the Great Floridian two years ago a bunch of us got slowed up a bit on the second loop of the bike by a truck towing half of a pre-fab home on a windy road up in the hilly section of the bike course. Once the road straightened out, a couple of enterprising fellows took advantage of the situation when the truck was able to speed up. It was funny to see half a house rolling down the road with some guys drafting along behind it.

Must have been a sprint at Bonelli Park in So Cal about 8 years ago that a fellow tri club member did the entire race with his straw from his hydration system stuck in his helmet like a Rhino horn. Everyone kept pointing and waiving to him, be he never did figure it out until the end of the race.

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Relax2dmax

"Just remember there is only 2 letters difference between STUD and STUPID." Heard on the course of the 1998 Lost Boys Ultramarathon

Then it would have said R8CK8N. Nobody would understand.

Seeing Captain America & King Leonids breathing down my back!

fefe - are you reading this?

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That shield is freaking hilarious!! I wonder if it was ever wind-tunnel tested!!

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Being filmed by a helicopter TV crew while having a leak!

Not exactly freaky, I know, except when you happen to be the guy being filmed:

Happened on my first triathlon ever (IM Austria 2000), during the second bike lap. After climbing a hill I halted on top, dropped my bike on the grass, jumped over the guard rail and hiked behind the shrubs (because I have to relax when I pee!)

Well, I was feeling very relaxed, when suddenly I heard that 'thunk, thunk, thunk' noise of an approaching helicopter ...I guess I was being overlapped by Jurgen Zack (he won that year), and a local TV station, ORF2 if I remember well, was broadcasting the whole race live.

The helicopter halted and hovered a few seconds where I had left my bike, then it swung over to the shrubs I was busy watering. They must have thought I had crashed into the guard rail, and decided to have a look around (or perhaps they were just perverts!)

Next thing, I was hopping around the shrubs, trying to turn them my back, all while peeing and shooing them away. Freaky (to me!) But it sure must have looked funny on TV.

Ya, I saw the dude and he was wearing dress shoes, but no numbers. Tim

wait a minute....where is their helmets?

Oh, and Colbert is right. Not only are Bears the number one animal related threat, I think that at times he has felt that the god less killing machines were the #1 threat overall.

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World Military Games(possible)-2008 Estonia
IMFL 2008

Cats dont like riding on bicycles....no matter how much duct tape you use.

A couple of years ago did my first Half IM Wildflower. At about 10 miles into the run was flagging a bit, came up on two women, in bikinis, looked very attractive...(could have been a heat induced illusion)..one already had her top down, the other one quickly removed her top as I came by and sprayed water on me from a hose. Really got me going again after seeing that.

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Trying to find ways to pass the time.

and singlets as well. did bring that up with the group who organized that race. that race is in one of our universities and personally feel that the organizers didnt make the wearing of helmets mandatory because most of the people in their group dont even wear helmets be it training or just riding inside the campus. sad but true...w/o helmets = cool, uncool = wearing one...

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"Pain is NOT temporary,you remember every bit of it"