When a friend of mine died in an accident in 2003 and I was simultanteously trying to come to grips with a bad relationship (no slight on the other person involved- we both contributed to its demise) ending. Really tough timing. I was not coping.

I went to a therapist who mentioned she felt my symptoms were depression. This was a huge blow to my ego- "Me? Depressed? Impossible! Why, I've swam the oceans, navigated the jungles! Run the deserts!"

Well, it's stupid to pay a therpist for advice and ignore it. I went to a psychiatrist (holy shit...) and sure enough, he was telling me I was suffering from depression. To his credit, he did a fine job of "de-stigmatizing" it. That increased my willingness to deal with it.

I took Zoloft for 6 weeks. It worked. That, and the support of a lot of good friends. The drug just kind of makes you a little numb and buys you time. Sometimes a few weeks is all you need to get over "The Hump" and re-acquire more normal coping skills. I was off the drug in 6 weeks, and many psychiatrists say the drug only become effective about then. I did not want to use this stuff indefinately. My personal philosophy (not casting judgment on any one else's circumstances, which may be entirely diffeent warranting a different solution) was that if i had to manage my life with prescription drugs- I needed to change my life very significantly.

The timing of the events was bad. They all coincided. As I was reminded each person only has so many coping skills, and for different things. In work, both in this industry and in the military, I seemed to burn stress as fuel. It did not affect me adversely. But these personal matters were, in combination, more than I could cope with effectively and constructively on my own at the time.

During the time I was taking the stuff I was just OK- no better. I didn't train, I just focused on my work and trying to come to grips with the circumstances and loss. Again, my friends were invaluable.

As soon as I got of the drug I did go back to training. That helped even more. I haven't looked back, and I have suffered losses and personal stresses since then also (although nothing like the accidental death of a best friend). Going back to training was more effective than anything. Within 6 months I was racing all over the world again.

On the drug I was just in extreme damage control mode. That was what I needed. If I give myself credit for one thing it was the humility to use the stuff against my ego-driven will.

Use the stuff if you have to , try to work with someone to build improvements into your life and be certain to heed professional advice. Remember though, ultimately, you are the person who determines the quality of your life, your relationships and how you responsd to stimulus. Sometimes it may not seem like we have a choice- but we do. Making the choice to take medication to manage depression may be a difficult one, and it takes courage and resolve to do it.

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Tom Demerly
The Tri Shop.com

Was on prozac for about a year. It takes about 4 weeks or so for the meds to start working, and you don't really notice anything different except the lows aren't as bad. The meds are not a cure, they just help with the symptoms, and are not intended to be a permanent thing, and over time they lose effectiveness as your brain chemistry returns to normal. They are not addictive, and there are no side effects that I experienced. When I went off the meds, I didn't notice anything different.

You can train / race, anything while you are on them. Training and racing can form part of your therapy, e.g. stress relief.

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2020 National Masters Champion - M50-54 - 50m Butterfly

First, good for you for bringing this up. As Tom pointed out, definitely lots of stigma about depression. While in Tom's case, it may have been temporary and situational based, a large number of people with depression have to deal with it for their entire lives, controlling it with medication. Clinical depression is actually a chemical imbalance that is not affected by outside life situation. You can be a millionaire, have all the tri goodies you ever wanted, but still be depressed, because your brain chemistry is out of balance.

Having said that, the medications they have do vary in terms of side effects (which I'd class all of your questions as relating to). The most common ones are termed SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors). One of the most common side effects is lethargy and, almost a side effect of a side effect, weight gain. Some of the medications have a very short half-life (i.e., easy to come off of), while others have an apparent high half-life and are currently being contested in a lawsuit as being very difficult to get off of (Paxil). I won't comment on that either way, as the lawsuit is still pending.

Overall, talk to your doctor, express your concerns and get a medication that suits your lifestyle, if needed. You may find dosage or even medication type may need to be changed to best suit your life, and in that time, training may be compromised. However, in the end it's probably better than the alternative of having to face depression without help.

You may also want to consider talking with a therapist, joining a group, or getting more information from an agency like the Canadian Mental Health Association (where my wife works, and why I know what I do about depression!), as family physician's treat a myriad of diseases and ailments, so may not be the absolute best source of info.

Good luck!

Chris

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"I do not hurt on the bike, I punish."

Here's my take on depression and training. I'm currently taking Lexapro for depression. I've been taking it since August and I had been suffering from depression for 8 months before that. Between graduating college, moving to a new city, having to find new friends and a new support network, and starting my first job in the real world, it was way too much for me to handle and I became depressed. If I really looked at how everything in my life was going, it was fantastic, but I didn't feel like it was fantastic. It affected my personal relationships and work performance. My depression was clinical and it wasn't situational. I thought I had decent coping skills, but this was too much at once for me. I think the biggest factor was losing my support network of friends.

I got on Lexapro and I kid you not (the Dr.'s in here my claim that this is BS but it wasn't in my case) but I was feeling better 2 days after I started taking medication. Worked like a charm. Over the course of 3 days, I went from not being able to remember the last good day I had to every day was a good day! It was incredible. With the help of a licensed counselor, my medical doctor, and the drugs, I was able to pull out of it fine.

Now, there were side effects. Lexapro is one of the drugs that has the least side effects, but my body is very sensitive and I definitely had side effects. Weight gain was one because SSRI's tend to lower your metabolism. I have trouble getting really lean, but I'm fighting really hard just to maintain my weight right now. There were some sexual side effects, but those were mostly good. It also feels like my testosterone levels are lower than when I'm off the drugs. It has affected my training, though. I truly believe that I can't push as hard when I'm on antidepressants. I just don't have the mental drive to push myself that hard. I give up too easily. When I was off of drugs, I would make myself hurt over and over again, and I can't do that much anymore. Emotionally, I felt great, but the highs and lows were muted which is bad and good respectively. Fine with me, though.

Eventhough the meds were completely worth it and a lot better than the alternative, I can't wait to get off of them. My support network here is much, much better now and I'm having a more positive outlook on things. I'm almost 100% back to my normal self. I'm going to work with my counselor and my doc and try to get off the meds in April. My doc recommended that I stay on them for 9 months because he doesn't want me to relapse which can happen sometimes when someone takes them short term.

There is nothing wrong with being depressed. You can't truly understand it until you go through it. Even if you have someone close to you go through it, it still isn't the same. It's a chemical imbalance and it doesn't decrease your worth as a person because the screwy chemicals in your brain are preventing you from being happy. Now that I know this, I've realized that I've probably have had depression my entire life but it hasn't always been present. Most of the time it's just underneath the surface, but now that I know this, I'm better prepared to handle it in the future if it comes up again.

Good luck, you aren't alone, and you shouldn't feel ashamed because of this.

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very well put. i've been on lexapro for about a month and a half, and your recount is on point with how i'm affected, as it does affect your body, which also trickles down into your lifestyle.

it's been tough trying to maintain a consistent workout routine, as i've been more tired since starting up on the prescription. however, the side effects are manageable and not severe, and i'll gladly take that tradeoff over having a dark cloud over my head, and having the feeling that life sometimes just hurts. i think it's a matter of becoming accustomed to the medication over time and finding new ways of motivation to overcome how this affects your training and your lifestyle.

For me that will be focusing on remembering the excitement and joy that the active lifestyle provides, and not to miss out on it. I'm confident that I'll be back on my routine soon.

As others have said, depression is not something to apologize for or to be ashamed of. For all those who are also dealing with this, best of luck in your treatment and recovery.