after about 6:30 or so, when the kiddies are all done, turn off lights and go hide in bed with wife where she eats me alive

But then I get the teenagers in regular clothes wanting candy. WTF? Get off my lawn. If i don't give candy they egg the house or other shenanigans.


Isn't that what guns are for?

Just answer the door wearing a Kevin Spacey mask.

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Civilize the mind, but make savage the body.

- Chinese proverb

We don’t get many trickk or treaters at our current neighborhood. Actually one of the few groups I saw after we got home was teenagers who didn’t ring but played tag or something on our lawn.
Our old house we would get around 200-300 Kids. They car pool in. It’s actually a lot of fun. Only downside is cleaning up all the crap they drop. That’s what I thought this was about. The teenagers that come later get the candy we didn’t want laying around.
But what do I know. This is what are street looked like this morning

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"I think I've cracked the code. double letters are cheaters except for perfect squares (a, d, i, p and y). So Leddy isn't a cheater... "

I gave the teenagers banana flavored Laffy Taffy and one stick of Twizzlers because that shit is disgusting. The little ones got all sorts of good stuff.

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DISH is how we do it.

That's the strategy.

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They constantly try to escape from the darkness outside and within
Dreaming of systems so perfect that no one will need to be good T.S. Eliot

Funny thing is the little kids like the bad stuff. My 2nd grader was most excited when she got Laffy Taffy. They get tired of Snickers and the rest of the chocolate bars.

For years now I have been paid to pass out candy in an affluent area and have seen it all. The younger kids tend to take whatever is given unless an allergy is known. The larger kids come, see what is given then turn their backs to trade with friends or quickly unwrap the goods leaving the wrappers on the ground.

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DISH is how we do it.

I would gladly have them trick or treat with no costume rather have them doing some of the other activities teens are known to do.

I'm glad to hand out any remaining candy to the un-costumed teens towards the end of the trick-or-treating period. This way I'm not stuck with leftover candy AND the 10lbs of candy my own kids collected.

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The secret of a long life is you try not to shorten it.
-Nobody

My wife would hire you in a second. She teaches 2nd grade so if Halloween falls on a weekday the last thing she's looking to do is deal with more kids. She used to invite friends over who were really into the holiday so they could deal with the trick or treaters while I was out with our kids.

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"I think I've cracked the code. double letters are cheaters except for perfect squares (a, d, i, p and y). So Leddy isn't a cheater... "

We had a friend who kept a squirt gun at the ready, and whenever a kid showed up she decided was too big/old to be trick-or-treating, she'd open fire and douse them on the spot. Trick!

Once the kid at work grows too old to grab the goods, I will gladly come to your area. No many kids are in my area anymore so I would rather go somewhere that allows me to eat and laugh at the costumes while getting paid. I see wonderful costumes and enjoy the very little ones who do not know what to do as they approach the doors. For the life of me, I cannot understand why parents let their sons run around in Spider-Man costumes because they all looks like painful wedgies from the back.

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DISH is how we do it.

 

You know, teens aren't all that I feel some people make their demographic out to be. Many are indeed hard working, studious, respectful, kind, mature individuals...

The last two halloweens I have watched Charlie Brown and handed out candy with my girlfriend. We were dressed appropriately, as Pam Beasley and 3 hole punched Jim. And I was home at 8:45 at night, and still managed to study for my midterms no problem. I got a decent amount of sleep, and drove safely this morning, after not drinking last night.

And of the hundreds of other teenagers that I know, am acquaintances with, or are friends with, I consider myself one of the more careless, reckless, unwise, and immature ones.

I'm sure there will probably be many people defending the common view of the teenager, or telling me that this is the exception and not the rule, or maybe something I haven't thought of.

I know that there are teenagers who do dumb things, but I think its unfair to imply that the aforementioned population of teenagers is out doing who knows what, God knows where, with Heaven only knows who...

What do I know though *shoulder shrug*

We've lived in our Floyds Knobs, Indiana home for 26 years and have had a grand total of 6 kids trick-or-treat at our house during that time.

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Lifeguard: "Do you need help?" Me: "No, that's just my butterfly."

kid with no costume: yes, candy. Not the kid's fault.

squirt gun is a good idea for teenagers! though I'd probably give them candy too.

I didn't get any trick or treaters. I did dress up to hit the $3 chipotle boorito deal.

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maybe she's born with it, maybe it's chlorine
If you're injured and need some sympathy, PM me and I'm very happy to write back.
disclaimer: PhD not MD

We recently bought a house (still unpacking boxes) in a relatively upscale neighborhood, the type where everyone is the same color, mostly drive imports, and send our children to private school. Insert judgment if you must, my wife loved the house and its her judgement I care about. Anywho, the entire neighborhood puts on the show for Halloween, elaborate house decorations, "professional-looking" family costumes, city approved street closure, fire pits / BBQ, the works. Over the space of 4 hours, we probably got 500+ trick-or-treaters (not including parents). Folks from all across the socio-economic-racial strata (St Louis). My wife, 9 year old daughter, and I passed out candy (take two pieces, thank you) to every one (and listened to a joke from ~75% of them, its a St Louis thing). We didn't care if they were in costume, out of costume, or just walking around. We also didn't give grades on the quality of costumes (and we saw the entire spectrum).

And here is where it gets good. At 9 PM when the street opened again, I was cleaning up the front yard / stoop. I still had 2-3 bags of candy left. A large family that were not neighborhood residents were walking by. I called out and asked if they wanted some candy, they said yes, I opened another bag, poured it into our bowl, and told them to take as much as they wanted. It was about 4 adults, 3 teenagers, and 4-5 littler ones. One of the mothers pulled me aside and said that she was so thankful for our neighborhood and how friendly it was to everyone. She saw someone advertise "us" on her facebook feed and came over because she wanted her children to feel safe and welcome. She literally hugged me and my wife. Then she and her family walked away and I got back to the business of making the yard look decent.

Do whatever the hell you want to do with your candy rules. Sometimes, its just nice to remember that being nice for the sake of being nice is okay. You don't have to be a dick because someone doesn't follow your exact philosophy with respect to dressing up.

Jesus Francis lighten up.

A little Halloween night banter has you all in a fuss. Congrats though on trying to convince yourself that you are a better person because you moved to a nice neighborhood, handed out some candy, and got some 'likes' on facebook. A real bang up job.

So many things in your post make me want to vomit, but I think the above sums it up.

For years now I have been paid to pass out candy in an affluent area
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How does one go about getting this job?

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Take a short break from ST and read my blog:
http://tri-banter.blogspot.com/

You start a thread about giving children empty candy wrappers on Halloween and I'm the one that needs to lighten up? :)

I wasn't implying anything. My point was that teens could be doing worse things than trick or treating with out a costume. If you want to read into that I think most teens are rotten so be it. Your problem not mine.

A buddy of mine hands out Kraft single slice individually wrapped cheese slices to teenagers not in costume and tells them to step up their game if they want the good stuff. It's usually good for a laugh and as far as I know his house doesn't get TP'd.

Another guy I know tolerates trick-or-treaters for an hour then dumps the entire bowl of candy in some kids bag, tells the kid they just won the lottery, flips off the light, then retreats to the basement to watch TV.

Our old neighborhood was like yours on Halloween. The houses are close together so it's perfect for the kids on Halloween. Kids would come from all over and we were near the end of a block where vans would pull up and 5-10 kids would get out. I'd say almost without fail the kids from outside our little area were always super nice and the parents thanked everyone profusely. Most of the homeowners sat out in their driveways with coolers and fire pits going. Except for the guy across the street. He would set up a stage complete with lighting. You had to tell a joke or sing a song in order to get candy. Any kid that politely turned him down got extra at our house. You could always tell the veteran kids coming down the street, "skip that house, it takes too long".

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"I think I've cracked the code. double letters are cheaters except for perfect squares (a, d, i, p and y). So Leddy isn't a cheater... "

I have been helping the family for years so it just comes as part of it. The pay is fair too.

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DISH is how we do it.