OR - you could just not do an Ironman.

There's nothing magical about completing that arbitrary event distance.

OR - you could wait until your job and/or family situation made it more feasible.

OR - you could train for the # of hours you can spare each week, and then show up and hope for the best.
FINISHING an Ironman isn't actually all that hard, if you've done at least some modicum of training over a bit of time.

Long rides are completely overrated, and while they are definitely in the "nice to do" category, they are not in the "need to do" category to get thru an Iron-distance event.

Turning 40 seems like some sort of big deal (at the time).
Trust me - it's not.

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float , hammer , and jog

There's nothing magical about completing that arbitrary event distance.

You should read the IMTx thread. It's magical indeed.

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Take a short break from ST and read my blog:
http://tri-banter.blogspot.com/

Apparently the Wussification of Ironman(tm) is the reason that 'Murica isn't great anymore.
Trump will fix that, no doubt.

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float , hammer , and jog

Dev is right. If you want inspiration ( and perhaps a coach) check out what Jerome Bresson did last year at IM Mont Tremblant: a PB of 9:09:21 . Oh – and 100th overall at Kona last October. He works about three jobs and has two young kids at home, one the same age as Skip's. A lot of the year, he trains just 8 to 12 hours a week (what we should all be doing.) But he trains hard when he trains. No "junk rides." And he has a solid base. And for sure, he's not sitting in his car commuting three hours a day. http://triathlonmagazine.ca/news/age-group-profile-jerome-bresson/

I have a 1 and 4 year old, married, and a job that requires at least 60hrs per week. I consider myself a good father, average husband and good employee.

I'm racing IMTX in two weeks. I wouldn't say my preparation was great, but on 8-10 hrs per week, I think I have enough fitness for a solid race. It won't be a PR (or maybe it will with the short course), but I won't be embarrassed by the result either.

Don't listen to the folks saying you need super high volume for an IM. Be smart and efficient and you can get a lot accomplished.

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-Andrew

That's what you get when Julie Miller approves these courses. Maybe you can get Trump to ban her from the Empire State and then we don't have to worry about her cutting any Epicman courses (well at least we know she can't take a car to the Whiteface summit)

If you make 100K+ then I think that is good money, certainly at least twice what I am making now and my little family leads a very comfortable existence. Do this experiment, and crunch the numbers if:
-your wife quits her job. Tax bill goes way down.
-you sell your second car, stop paying car insurance, gas, etc.
-you move close to your job and commute by walking, or public transit, or biking. Again less in transit costs.
-you stop paying for child care. This is huge.

I am willing to bet that your net income will basically be unchanged. Some people even come out positive when they run the numbers. Voila, I just saved your wife from having to work, saved you ten hours a week of time in the car, and gave your entire family more time to spend together.

Turning 40 really isn't a big deal to me. Just had a few goals I wanted to check off the list by then, not sure why 40 was the #. Completing an IM, having a million bucks in retirement...several things along those lines. Things like this help keep me motivated.

Easy! Don't talk my wife into quitting just yet, she makes more than I do. I keep throwing out the idea that I would be an awesome stay at home dad, unfortunately she's not buying into my plan. We are lucky with the daycare situation, grandma watches the baby while we are at work so we don't have to put her in daycare.

I'm 41 - I did a couple of IM's in my 20's, spent the remainder of them and all of my 30's eating and drinking my way up to 94 kg from 70-ish and deciding on the night of my 40th B'day that I wanted to do another IM before I turned 41. 50 weeks later I did it - not fast, but having lost 20 kilo's, finishing was sufficient.

I immediately signed up for the same race - Nice - which is June 5th this year and my life has got significantly more complicated. I have 2.5 year old and a 7 month old, we both work FT - on days when I do nursery runs - which is 6 of 10 trips a week my commute is 75 minutes. Moving is simply not an option to reduce that - setting aside the fact that there is no accommodation nearer - my employer provides it and I do not have the option of finding an alternative - or, rather I do but I'm not going to pay for it.

So I have to fit it all in around all the things you would expect with having two infants / toddlers.

Last year I averaged 8.5 hours a week for 48 weeks in the run up to it. This year I am absolutely certain it is significantly less.

After our second was born in September she spent 10 days in ICU / HDU, came home, wife was on maternity leave and I did not touch a bike or enter a pool from the birth till Jan.

I finished the Dubai half on less than 10 miles a week running, 4 swims in 6 months and no bike rides in 10-12 weeks.

That was less than idea prep.

Given that my home situation has been so unstable (sick baby, accident and other ongoing medical crisis in the household) the whole thing has been a challenge so whenever I do get to do something it has to count.

So I decided I'm not worried about "finishing" and I do not have the time at present (I'm going to take 4 half days in next 3 weeks and do 4 four hour bikes) but other than that, I do two swims on mornings my wife takes them to nursery, I try to fit three runs in per week - one up to two hours and I bike as often as I can, some weeks that's 6-7 times, others three. Every single bike is a variant of w/u then 1 or 2 or 6 intervals of 15 mins at 90% of FTP with 5 mins rest. To date the longest I've done is 2.15 or so, the IF of the ride being .84 overall.

It is what it is, I'm not worried that I can not complete the distance, I'm not worried that the time I spend on the bike or in the pool is unproductive, I get 6-6500m / week swimming every week, between 3 and 10 hours biking (most weeks I'm guessing its 3-5) and 3-4 hours running split in to one two hour and two 30-45 mins.

All training is done either before work when wife takes kids to nursery, after work whilst my wife picks them up, when my wife has "play dates" with her friends and their kids, in the evening when the kids have gone to bed and my wife is asleep (if my wife puts them to bed I start earlier, if its my turn I do it after they're all asleep)

I genuinely have no idea what to expect in June. I am sure that I am fit enough to get around, I will enjoy it, I am not going to kill myself to complete it.

My current situation is less than ideal but I think that this is true of anyone with kids, a job, a commute, a home life and crisis' that arise.

On the coaching thing - last year I approached someone and asked them to review my own plan. I'd decided / knew that no matter what happened my hours / week were fixed, there could not be builds followed by recovery, that the best I could hope for was to maintain the same number of hours week in week out taking in to account "life" and whilst I'd like to be able to ramp up hours I simply can not plan that far ahead with any degree of certainty.

I've tried to make sure that my hours week to week are consistent and whilst I've not obviously succeeded - see 12 week gap of no riding Sept till Jan - all the training that I have done subsequently has been quality or better quality than it was last year and I think setting the long bikes I did last year aside, I feel about the same as I did this time last year in terms of fitness.

You will succeed with this if you have either the right genes, a huge inheritance, a masochistic wife, a really GREAT job (in that order and at least two of them).

Otherwise your life will be ruined (professional failure, divorce, health issues, death by 65).

Good luck!

I realize the society we are in and that each person / family makes their own decisions, but let me blow everyone's mind (or at least all of the men here that default to the assuming the woman has to give up her career).

Quit YOUR job and take over the household responsibilities / child care and let your wife become the primary breadwinner. All the financial benefits people previously mentioned are the same only 1. YOU get time with your children. 2. YOU get to support YOUR WIFE's career goals and desires. 3. YOU probably get the free time you want to chase your training / fitness goals (depends on the specific domestic responsibilities you have).

Full transparency: The above is exactly what I am doing in my own life. "Retiring" in my mid-40's, giving up a 25 year career with a six figure salary, transitioning to a full time stay-at-home dad for my children. Taking over 100% of the domestic chores for our family. Supporting my wife and her career goals, which include starting her own medical practice and pursing a second doctoral degree. We recently settled on a new city for the family to move to. Number 1 priority in housing: Wife's commute to work (result: less than 5 minutes) Number 2 priority in housing: Proximity to largest public park in town for me to run in daily (result: we can see the park from our residence). My wife is fully supportive of my desires to care for her and our children and to make time to train for and crush my own personal athletic goals.

Life is what you make of it. If its important enough to you, you'll find a way to make it happen (whatever "it" is). Good luck with whatever you decide to do.