"stride-breaking nasty, broccoli and tofu fart nasty."
- - Man!!! Now there's a buzz kill!! Can you ever look at her the same way again?

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Cousin Elwood - Team Over-the-hill Racing
Brought to you by the good folks at Metamucil and Geritol...

On long bike rides, I imagine myself at RAGBRAI. Then I can look at my ride today and think to myself, "holy shit, look how fast I am riding today. And would you look at that - I am going in a straight line! And I haven't dropped $80 by noon on beer and shots. And I haven't had to stop to pee and smoke pot every 15 minutes. I must really be kicking ass today!!!

(the down side is that I also then come to the realization that I haven't seen a naked boobie belonging to someone other than my wife SINCE last ragbrai.)