This is how I remember living in Michigan - I LOVE SNOW!!!
December 14 - 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season
and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the
window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It
looked like aGrandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I
love snow!
December 15 - We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow
covering every inch of the landscape What a fantastic sight! Can there
be a ;more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best
idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like
a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This
afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the
driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life
December 16 - The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a
disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely
have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says
we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to
see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man,
I'm glad he's our neighbor.
December 17 - Snow lovely snow! 8 inches last night. The temperature
dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my
breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks.
This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything
again I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling,
but I'll certainly get back in shape this way
December 18 - 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4
Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels.
Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the
electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after
all.
December 19 - Ice storm this morning. Fell on my butt on the ice in
the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for
an hour, which I think was very cruel.
December 20 - Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go
anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets
on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to
irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit
it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death
in my own living room.
December 21 - Electricity's back on, but had another 14 inches of the
damn stuff last night.. More shoveling. Took all day. Damn snowplow
came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said
they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the
only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and
they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're
lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I
think he's lying.
December 22 - Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more
inches of the white crap fell today, and it's so cold it probably
won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go
out to shovel and then I had to poop. By the time I got undressed,
pooped and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob
who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he
says he's too busy. I think the jerk is lying.
December 23 - Only 12 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The
wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What
is she nuts!!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She
says she did but I think she's lying.
December 24 - 6 inches;. Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the
shovel.Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a
bitch who drives that snowplow I'll drag him through the snow by his
balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides
around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he
comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over
where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with
her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow.
December 25 - Merry -bleeping- Christmas! 20 more inches of the damn
slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil.
I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a
donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I
have a bad attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot. If I have to
watch "A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the
microwave
December 26 - Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here?
It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves
December 27 - Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze, plumber
came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to
replace all my pipes.
December 28 - Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. THE BITCH is
driving me crazy!!
December 29 - 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it
could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does
he think I am?
December 30 - Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver he is now
suing me for a million dollars, not only for the beating I gave him
but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass. The
wife went home to her mother. 9 inches predicted
December 31 - I set fire to what's left of the house. No more
shoveling.
January 8 - Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they
keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?
December 14 - 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season
and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the
window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It
looked like aGrandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I
love snow!
December 15 - We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow
covering every inch of the landscape What a fantastic sight! Can there
be a ;more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best
idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like
a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This
afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the
driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life
December 16 - The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a
disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely
have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says
we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to
see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man,
I'm glad he's our neighbor.
December 17 - Snow lovely snow! 8 inches last night. The temperature
dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my
breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks.
This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything
again I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling,
but I'll certainly get back in shape this way
December 18 - 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4
Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels.
Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the
electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after
all.
December 19 - Ice storm this morning. Fell on my butt on the ice in
the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for
an hour, which I think was very cruel.
December 20 - Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go
anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets
on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to
irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit
it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death
in my own living room.
December 21 - Electricity's back on, but had another 14 inches of the
damn stuff last night.. More shoveling. Took all day. Damn snowplow
came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said
they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the
only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and
they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're
lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I
think he's lying.
December 22 - Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more
inches of the white crap fell today, and it's so cold it probably
won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go
out to shovel and then I had to poop. By the time I got undressed,
pooped and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob
who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he
says he's too busy. I think the jerk is lying.
December 23 - Only 12 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The
wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What
is she nuts!!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She
says she did but I think she's lying.
December 24 - 6 inches;. Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the
shovel.Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a
bitch who drives that snowplow I'll drag him through the snow by his
balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides
around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he
comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over
where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with
her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow.
December 25 - Merry -bleeping- Christmas! 20 more inches of the damn
slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil.
I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a
donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I
have a bad attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot. If I have to
watch "A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the
microwave
December 26 - Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here?
It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves
December 27 - Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze, plumber
came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to
replace all my pipes.
December 28 - Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. THE BITCH is
driving me crazy!!
December 29 - 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it
could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does
he think I am?
December 30 - Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver he is now
suing me for a million dollars, not only for the beating I gave him
but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass. The
wife went home to her mother. 9 inches predicted
December 31 - I set fire to what's left of the house. No more
shoveling.
January 8 - Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they
keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?