I did the race, that much is certain. The rest of the weekend is a mad blur, I'll relate the salient nuggets, and omit the parts that I would have to deny.
It had been a busy week and I found myself scrambling to
gather the required materials and get out the door.
But, the eventually Element was loaded with supplies and I was
to head out to pick up my assistant Scott.
Next stop, Chicago Marathon.
It looked to be a cruel weekend. The forecast was for
rain, cold, and high winds. It would require all our
training and determination from Ironman to handle the
situation ... there were elements of great personal
danger involved. If things went badly, we may not be
anywhere near a tavern when we decided to give up. What then?
Anyhow to fill you in, Friday had found me racing around town to put
together the infrastructure. A few weeks ago I was
having a conversation with Scott, and the subject of
puking came up, as it often does in my circle. I
related to Scott that the Romans had no problem with
social puking, they looked at it as a way to extend
the ability to orgy. Scott admired that and remarked
that he wanted to be a Roman.
So, there it was - we were obviously going to run the
Chicago Marathon in Togas. That's how I found myself
at JoAnns Fabrics buying 10 yards of white muslin.
Next stop was the salvation army store. Last year I
had purchased a fabulous salmon-colored full-length
pure Olefin bathrobe to wear to the starting line. I
looked sensational. So good in fact I wore it for 16
miles until the effects of sweat and heat made it
rather a burden, at which point I surrendered it to
the police by throwing it on a squad car as we ran
past.
Anyhow, imagine my delight when perusing the racks in
the women's section I found AN EXACT COPY OF THE SAME
ROBE! Or, it might have been the same one,
re-habilitated and donated again? Absurd. But, life
does get stranger every day. Insanity loves company, so for Scott I picked out a nice white fuzzy robe with some interesting stitching on the pockets.
Saturday morning I assembled the rest of the materials : PopTarts, Cookies, running shoes, and as many safety pins as I could lay my hands on. I left my Secret Headquarters about noon and picked up Scott. The drive down was uneventful, once across the border, I prefer to turn up the radio and adjust the mirrors to point at the sky so I'm not bothered by the incompetence of the other drivers, this worked out well - as far as I know.
The sun was shining as we made the final approach and made a perfect landing in the Grant Park underground garage, directly underneath the starting line. Next stop was the Chicago Youth Hostel where we would spend the night.
The youth hostel is a great bargain. For about $30 a night, you get a bed a mere 5 minute walk from the starting line. The place is clean, and each 6-bed unit has it's own shower. Scott had kindly arranged for us to be in the same unit, and made sure I had an upper bunk. He hasn't even begun to pay for that one yet.
Anyhow, we checked in, and put our stuff in our unit. The other beds were not occupied yet. We headed out to the expo to pick up our race materials. The expo is at McCormick place. You start to realize how big this race is at the expo. At packet pick-up, they were delivering numbers from 1 to over 40,000. Then you are directed into a large hall, where you walk past all the vendors to get your t-shirt and goodie bag. We spent some time sampling all the free drinks and snacks, which would be a terrible idea if we were taking this race seriously ( why eat something the day before a big race if you don't know how your body handles it? ), but lucky for us, we were just there to have fun. So eat we did. After doing some obligatory shopping, we headed back.
When we arrived back at the room, we met two other occupants. They were from Monterrey Mexico, came all that way just to do the race. Their English was fair, and we talked about the race. One of them had his luggage lost, and had NOTHING in the way of running stuff. He bought shoes and stuff at the expo, I gave him a TriWis hat to wear for the race.
For dinner, the hostel had a free pasta-bread-salad dinner. Very basic, but tasty. We felt the need for additional fortification, so we headed out to find a Guinness. We ended up at a tavern near Michigan and Wacker. A couple of pints quickly got us feeling pretty good about our prospects for the race. We were a bit worried about hangovers, but Scott had heard that Grey Goose and Cranberry juice was the perfect cure, so we decided to head any problems off at the pass and ordered a round.
About this time two women sat down at an adjacent table. We started talking, and turns out that they had both trained for the race. One was racing, the other had a stress fracture. The injured one was interesting. She was obviously in good shape, but managed to prove it by showing us some nicely defined abs, and then tossing off about 30 pushups, right there in the bar. Very impressive.
We left there about 10, and headed back to the hostel. We may have been a bit tipsy. We knew we had to get the Togas together for the race, so once back in the room, we got the white muslin out and hacked it in half with a knife. The two guys from Mexico were there, and we had been joined by an Asian man who never said a word the whole time. We made repeated attempts at the Togas, but it was difficult in our condition. I did notice that the guys from Mexico gave up talking to us, but talked to each other quite a bit in Spanish.
We pretty much solved the toga assembly problem after a while - or maybe we just gave up, and about that time I got out the bathrobes. Scott really liked his, and put it on immediately. There was loud music coming from downstairs, and we had noticed what seemed to be a costume party in the large dining hall on our way up. Scott wanted to go. I told him " You can't go down there wearing that bathrobe - at least put some pants on, you fiend", but he insisted, so down we went.
It was indeed a costume party, mainly Witch costumes as near as I could tell, or maybe it was just some kind of Pagan convention - either way, there we were. Only problem was they wouldn't let us in - private party. We sulked a bit and talked the situation over. I was getting the fear -- people were looking at us, and at that place, you have to be pretty wrong to attract attention. Scott insisted that he could talk us into the party, indicating some young women lounging near the entrance. From the looks of them, they could have been anywhere from 16 to 26. I got him out of there before they called the cops. It was close.
Race morning we woke about 6, had some coffee and PopTarts in the communal kitchen area. Back up to the room, donned Togas and robes. We hit the streets, striding along in our bathrobes and togas, wearing sunglasses in the dim light. We arrived at the start area a little later than I planned, about 7:30.
The morning was cold, windy, and overcast. The good news was no rain. Now, the bathrobes were not just for show - you need something to keep you warm waiting for the start, that you can later shed without regret. We made our way to the start, and it was already madly crowded. We made it as far as the 4:45:00 pacing group before we were packed in too tight to move. And waited. After a bit, the race started. And we waited. 15 minutes later, we had shuffled up to the starting line and began to jog.
Now if you have never done this race, or have only done it with the focus needed for a maximum effort, you can't appreciate the massive scope of the race. There are not only huge crowds of runners, there are huge crowds of spectators. THAT was the real reason for the bathrobes and togas. Scott and I both knew we could be rock stars the rest of the day, and we got right to it working the crowds. All it took from us was an occasional wave, or a shout - TOGA!!! And we were rewarded with an ovation.
All day long it was:
Hey - go bathrobe guy!
Nice robes!
You look great!
Toe-Ga Toe-Ga Toe-Ga.
We had fun, high-fived the kids, played to the crowds, had fun with the other runners.
Now it was work too. Even though our pace was slow - nearly 3 hours for the first half; it is still a long way and a long time to run. We took care of the basic race needs -nutrition, hydration. And we were at the back of the race, some folks around us were having a pretty hard time. But we mainly got one of two reactions from our companions. Either they laughed, and we made their day a little easier; or sometimes we heard " I'm NOT going to be beat by the bathrobe guys". We were good with either one.
The finish is always nice. We played to the crowds, collected our cheers and medals, and got special congratulations for running the whole darn 26.2 miles in bathrobes AND togas, which has perhaps never been done before. All in all, we had a great time, a fun way to wrap up the race season.
But what to do for NEXT year????
Do you think I'm making this up?
http://www.marathonfoto.com/order_my_photos.cfm?BFI=c53gxc50xg
It had been a busy week and I found myself scrambling to
gather the required materials and get out the door.
But, the eventually Element was loaded with supplies and I was
to head out to pick up my assistant Scott.
Next stop, Chicago Marathon.
It looked to be a cruel weekend. The forecast was for
rain, cold, and high winds. It would require all our
training and determination from Ironman to handle the
situation ... there were elements of great personal
danger involved. If things went badly, we may not be
anywhere near a tavern when we decided to give up. What then?
Anyhow to fill you in, Friday had found me racing around town to put
together the infrastructure. A few weeks ago I was
having a conversation with Scott, and the subject of
puking came up, as it often does in my circle. I
related to Scott that the Romans had no problem with
social puking, they looked at it as a way to extend
the ability to orgy. Scott admired that and remarked
that he wanted to be a Roman.
So, there it was - we were obviously going to run the
Chicago Marathon in Togas. That's how I found myself
at JoAnns Fabrics buying 10 yards of white muslin.
Next stop was the salvation army store. Last year I
had purchased a fabulous salmon-colored full-length
pure Olefin bathrobe to wear to the starting line. I
looked sensational. So good in fact I wore it for 16
miles until the effects of sweat and heat made it
rather a burden, at which point I surrendered it to
the police by throwing it on a squad car as we ran
past.
Anyhow, imagine my delight when perusing the racks in
the women's section I found AN EXACT COPY OF THE SAME
ROBE! Or, it might have been the same one,
re-habilitated and donated again? Absurd. But, life
does get stranger every day. Insanity loves company, so for Scott I picked out a nice white fuzzy robe with some interesting stitching on the pockets.
Saturday morning I assembled the rest of the materials : PopTarts, Cookies, running shoes, and as many safety pins as I could lay my hands on. I left my Secret Headquarters about noon and picked up Scott. The drive down was uneventful, once across the border, I prefer to turn up the radio and adjust the mirrors to point at the sky so I'm not bothered by the incompetence of the other drivers, this worked out well - as far as I know.
The sun was shining as we made the final approach and made a perfect landing in the Grant Park underground garage, directly underneath the starting line. Next stop was the Chicago Youth Hostel where we would spend the night.
The youth hostel is a great bargain. For about $30 a night, you get a bed a mere 5 minute walk from the starting line. The place is clean, and each 6-bed unit has it's own shower. Scott had kindly arranged for us to be in the same unit, and made sure I had an upper bunk. He hasn't even begun to pay for that one yet.
Anyhow, we checked in, and put our stuff in our unit. The other beds were not occupied yet. We headed out to the expo to pick up our race materials. The expo is at McCormick place. You start to realize how big this race is at the expo. At packet pick-up, they were delivering numbers from 1 to over 40,000. Then you are directed into a large hall, where you walk past all the vendors to get your t-shirt and goodie bag. We spent some time sampling all the free drinks and snacks, which would be a terrible idea if we were taking this race seriously ( why eat something the day before a big race if you don't know how your body handles it? ), but lucky for us, we were just there to have fun. So eat we did. After doing some obligatory shopping, we headed back.
When we arrived back at the room, we met two other occupants. They were from Monterrey Mexico, came all that way just to do the race. Their English was fair, and we talked about the race. One of them had his luggage lost, and had NOTHING in the way of running stuff. He bought shoes and stuff at the expo, I gave him a TriWis hat to wear for the race.
For dinner, the hostel had a free pasta-bread-salad dinner. Very basic, but tasty. We felt the need for additional fortification, so we headed out to find a Guinness. We ended up at a tavern near Michigan and Wacker. A couple of pints quickly got us feeling pretty good about our prospects for the race. We were a bit worried about hangovers, but Scott had heard that Grey Goose and Cranberry juice was the perfect cure, so we decided to head any problems off at the pass and ordered a round.
About this time two women sat down at an adjacent table. We started talking, and turns out that they had both trained for the race. One was racing, the other had a stress fracture. The injured one was interesting. She was obviously in good shape, but managed to prove it by showing us some nicely defined abs, and then tossing off about 30 pushups, right there in the bar. Very impressive.
We left there about 10, and headed back to the hostel. We may have been a bit tipsy. We knew we had to get the Togas together for the race, so once back in the room, we got the white muslin out and hacked it in half with a knife. The two guys from Mexico were there, and we had been joined by an Asian man who never said a word the whole time. We made repeated attempts at the Togas, but it was difficult in our condition. I did notice that the guys from Mexico gave up talking to us, but talked to each other quite a bit in Spanish.
We pretty much solved the toga assembly problem after a while - or maybe we just gave up, and about that time I got out the bathrobes. Scott really liked his, and put it on immediately. There was loud music coming from downstairs, and we had noticed what seemed to be a costume party in the large dining hall on our way up. Scott wanted to go. I told him " You can't go down there wearing that bathrobe - at least put some pants on, you fiend", but he insisted, so down we went.
It was indeed a costume party, mainly Witch costumes as near as I could tell, or maybe it was just some kind of Pagan convention - either way, there we were. Only problem was they wouldn't let us in - private party. We sulked a bit and talked the situation over. I was getting the fear -- people were looking at us, and at that place, you have to be pretty wrong to attract attention. Scott insisted that he could talk us into the party, indicating some young women lounging near the entrance. From the looks of them, they could have been anywhere from 16 to 26. I got him out of there before they called the cops. It was close.
Race morning we woke about 6, had some coffee and PopTarts in the communal kitchen area. Back up to the room, donned Togas and robes. We hit the streets, striding along in our bathrobes and togas, wearing sunglasses in the dim light. We arrived at the start area a little later than I planned, about 7:30.
The morning was cold, windy, and overcast. The good news was no rain. Now, the bathrobes were not just for show - you need something to keep you warm waiting for the start, that you can later shed without regret. We made our way to the start, and it was already madly crowded. We made it as far as the 4:45:00 pacing group before we were packed in too tight to move. And waited. After a bit, the race started. And we waited. 15 minutes later, we had shuffled up to the starting line and began to jog.
Now if you have never done this race, or have only done it with the focus needed for a maximum effort, you can't appreciate the massive scope of the race. There are not only huge crowds of runners, there are huge crowds of spectators. THAT was the real reason for the bathrobes and togas. Scott and I both knew we could be rock stars the rest of the day, and we got right to it working the crowds. All it took from us was an occasional wave, or a shout - TOGA!!! And we were rewarded with an ovation.
All day long it was:
Hey - go bathrobe guy!
Nice robes!
You look great!
Toe-Ga Toe-Ga Toe-Ga.
We had fun, high-fived the kids, played to the crowds, had fun with the other runners.
Now it was work too. Even though our pace was slow - nearly 3 hours for the first half; it is still a long way and a long time to run. We took care of the basic race needs -nutrition, hydration. And we were at the back of the race, some folks around us were having a pretty hard time. But we mainly got one of two reactions from our companions. Either they laughed, and we made their day a little easier; or sometimes we heard " I'm NOT going to be beat by the bathrobe guys". We were good with either one.
The finish is always nice. We played to the crowds, collected our cheers and medals, and got special congratulations for running the whole darn 26.2 miles in bathrobes AND togas, which has perhaps never been done before. All in all, we had a great time, a fun way to wrap up the race season.
But what to do for NEXT year????
Do you think I'm making this up?
http://www.marathonfoto.com/order_my_photos.cfm?BFI=c53gxc50xg