I first read this as Man with tactical bun and I was impressed.

That’s awesome.

Most I see with those tattoos aren’t fast.

Haha! Nice.

Is that like tactical buns:




...or tactical buns:



...or tactical buns:

I don't think I've seen anyone running with dumbells but I saw a guy the other day doing laps holding one of those little heavyish "medicine" balls in front of him with both hands. It just looked uncomfortable and awkward as it basically stopped him from being able to swing his upper body.

There is an old man at my gym that finishes his "workout" by dancing Cosby style in the stretching area for 20 minutes. He even has the sweater. I would love to know what he's listening to on his earbuds.

To be honest, I can never tell if they are fast [or were fast, once] as I have never seen one moving at "race pace"

Usually, they're just wandering around the supermarket or liquor store, or strolling on the beach/boardwalk

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"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin

I’m in my gym five days a week so get to see loads of shit. It is a reasonably small gym, and doesn’t have a steroid culture, but the majority of casual lifter stereotypes are all present and correct.

There’s the midlife skinny-fat dude who wears a compression vest that rides up over his belly, and overloads every set so that he has to cheat the movement on every exercise.

There are the young newcomers who stick together in packs of 3-4 watching each other lift pointlessly light weights and randomly flit from exercise to exercise, with no plan.

There are the young buff dudes wearing vests but tracksuit pants, who I’ve never seen doing anything other than a chest and arm routine.

There’s the post-new-year bullshit month where the smith machine is clogged with an assortment of asshats doing reverse leg presses, lying on the floor with their feet pushing the bar up. Meanwhile the actual leg press is unused. Other ‘unique’ exercises are on display by people who really just need to get on with the foundation exercises.

There’s the chunky nut job who has obviously been reasonably active all his life but should have sized up his shorts a decade ago. He likes to sprint on the treadmill and elliptical until soaked in sweat and then proceed to do circuits on the various free weights, leaving benches soaked in his wake.

Speaking of circuits, there’s the older trainer who only “trains” people who’ve never been in the gym before. At peak time he’ll be guiding his client through a circuit using half the work stations and weights equal to a can of beans.

Boxing/MMA has been in for a while. Thanks to that we now have guys skipping in between sets, blocking any equipment within a 2m radius. I like skipping. Skipping is fun. In an unused cardio room with lots of room.

There’s the runner/triathlete who does floor exercises in his calf compression sleeves (and running kit - in case you were visualising this) in the middle of the free weights despite their being a room, usually empty, for this purpose.

I’ve a lot of love for anyone who squats or deadlifts with form. In fact, anyone who lifts with good form and doesn’t overload the bar. Very few people in a gym have sensible routines.

Wow. I needed to get that off my chest!

Even though there are plenty of signs around stating no cell phone use in the locker rooms one guy always seemed to have open mic phone conversations. One day I got tired of hearing his work rants so I put my hands together and made a large "farting noise", he quit talking on the phone in the locker rooms after that.

There was this short chubby guy that was bragging to a girl that he was going to be in the Cross Fit games. He was on the mat doing some stretching when his cigarette lighter fell out of his pocket...

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All I Wanted Was A Pepsi, Just One Pepsi

Team Zoot, Team Zoot Mid-Atlantic

Does your gym have any hump/hip thrust lifters? This is new at my gym. One girl is ripped and will spend at least 45 minutes working out her thrust each session.

I usually work out at a rec center on a fairly large University campus, so mostly college students. Yes the hip thrusters, and ass developers in general, are there in droves. That and apparently everyone is required to deadlift now.

College girls doing hip thrusts could give this old man an aneurysm

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"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin

There are few there with incredible bodies. Most not so much, but that combination of nature and nurture syncs just right every so often before age makes it go all to hell :)

After my run on the TM the other night, I wandered over to the free weight area to talk to D'Wife for a second

She was with her friends so I asked the group "Are Runners allowed back here?"

Usually, wearing a tech race shirt works pretty well as an Invisibility Cloak, however, her friend replied "Well, it IS after 7pm, so it's OK, as long as you have an escort"

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"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin

Used to be called a boner, and likely to blow your mind --- oh, you know same thing only in older guys

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RayGovett
Hughson CA
Be Prepared-- Strike Swiftly -- Who Dares Wins- Without warning-"it will be hard. I can do it"

Correct, I haven't done a triathlon in 10 years but I still have 4 of my favorite tech race shirts that I wear to the gym. They're sprint and oly shirts so I'm not saving them for IM cred. What do you do with your tech race shirts?

Every month or so I'll see the same guy working out with an air restrictor mask. Looks like he's never exercised a day in his life. Dumbbell curls, shoulder press, random shit, no cardio. Just a Joe Shmoe making it harder to breathe.

I mean, if you're training for an Everest ascent, more power to you. That ain't him.

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The devil made me do it the first time, second time I done it on my own - W

I go as soon as the gym opens at 5:30, so I see the same regulars, mostly who are seemingly normal, committed gym goers. There are a few exceptions:

1) Neon dancer: man in 50's, very fake tan, ear muff style headphones, doing techno dance moves in front of the mirror between sets of very light weights. He wears a neon tank tank top and short shorts.

2) Too chatty old guy: doesn't appear to really work out, just carries on a conversation with everyone in the general vicinity of him. People come and go from machine or bench, and he just seems to carry on the same conversation with whoever is there at the moment.

3) Squat princess: gorgeous, 30 something, 5 foot nothing tall, ass that could stop a howitzer shell. I show up at 5:30, and she's in the squat rack. I leave at 6:15, she's still squatting. I love the squat princess.

4) Jug head Juice Monkey: Typical bro, body builder type build, works out in tank top and sweat pants. Always carries around a 4L milk jug filled with some mysterious, seemingly glowing, bright liquid. Because, you know, electrolytes.

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Long Chile was a silly place.

At any given moment 78% of all women in my gym are doing some type of ass exercise. God bless them all.

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The devil made me do it the first time, second time I done it on my own - W

Yep. It's definitely a trend I can get behind.

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Long Chile was a silly place.

I was on a work trip to South Africa a few years ago. Rolled into the typically crappy hotel gym early on the first morning feeling jet-lagged and groggy, only to find half a dozen stunning lycra clad gazelle-like creatures all doing lunges in front of the mirror. Turned out the hotel was hosting the Miss South Africa contestants that week.

I normally struggle for motivation to wake up and train when staying in hotels, wasn't really a problem that week! Only issue was how crowded the gym was by the end of the week once word got around and half the men in the hotel started showing up for dawn workouts.

Just straddle them and loosely shadow the barbell with your hands - its good etiquette to spot for people... Guys get especially weirded out about thrusting upwards with their hips whilst you stand astride them with your legs akimbo.

I think this is cross-post worthy



Oh, it gets better!!!

Last night, D'Wife wanted to meet up with he girlfriends from the gym to see a band

Being St. Patrick's Day, I told her that was a fucking bad idea, since everywhere was gonna be packed

"We're gonna go early, like 7:30, so it shouldn't be bad, right?" I shrugged with disagreement. She doesn't do well in crowed places, and gets anxiety when people are too close to her, often manifested in fits of rage [she almost started a fight in a surfer bar in San Diego when she though someone bumped her in an inappropriate way]

I was right, of course, as the first place we went too was so packed, even approaching the bar was a struggle, and the drunken locals were too much to deal with, so we abandoned right away

We changed plans and went to another place not much further away. They had a standard post-high school cover band starting about 9:30, and was not crowded at all. Plenty of televisions, showing all the NCAA games currently in play

Once we all found each other again, who should one of her friends be talking to? Yep, Miss Trucker Hat & Spouse

Very nice people, it turns out

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"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin

Yes! Thankfully it's mostly the younger crowd and not the beached whales.

I swear I am not making this up.

Saw an older gentleman the other day in the men’s locker room bent over in front of the sink and mirrors where everyone shaves and gets ready putting on his what is assume to be hemeroid cream.