Parents: 1 on 1 Kid Outings

Feb 9, 17 8:19

Post #1 of 32 Views: 1657

My wife & I have decided to start a new thing -- taking our kids out for a Valentines date, she with our son, me with our daughter, likely something low key like lunch & dessert & a trip to the indoor tropical botanical garden.

It got me to thinking that we shouldn't make this a Valentine only thing but each of us have 1 on 1 outings with each kid more regularly, maybe once/month with each of us doing something with each kid. Nothing big, just a low key outing. The more commitments I divest myself from, the more I realize that I value the time with the kids...well, maybe except for the household messes & meltdowns inherent to young kids.

Have any of you made something like this a regular practice or did your parents? What have been the best and most memorable things you've done? Anything that's worked best to make something like this happen regularly or anything that's made it a challenge to keep up?

Re: Parents: 1 on 1 Kid Outings [MidwestRoadie] [ In reply to ]

Feb 9, 17 8:24

Post #2 of 32 Views: 1648

Every week, my wife and I take a kid out to breakfast, separately, and then switch the pairing the following week. It's great.

Last edited by: Goosedog: Feb 9, 17 8:25

Re: Parents: 1 on 1 Kid Outings [MidwestRoadie] [ In reply to ]

Feb 9, 17 8:27

Post #3 of 32 Views: 1636

Just read THIS the other day and it got me thinking about the same thing. My daughter is only 2 so we haven't had many opportunities yet but I'd like to make it a point to do solo outings with her as she gets older. Curious to hear others experiences.

Re: Parents: 1 on 1 Kid Outings [MidwestRoadie] [ In reply to ]

Feb 9, 17 8:30

Post #4 of 32 Views: 1630

I invest my time in coaching my boys' soccer and baseball teams.

Re: Parents: 1 on 1 Kid Outings [MidwestRoadie] [ In reply to ]

Feb 9, 17 8:35

Post #5 of 32 Views: 1619

Also, with both kids in sports, we typically have to divide and conquer. Earlier this year, my wife took our son to an out of town soccer tournament and this weekend I'm going with our daughter to her swim meet. We try to incorporate something fun in those trips.

Last edited by: Goosedog: Feb 9, 17 8:58

Re: Parents: 1 on 1 Kid Outings [MidwestRoadie] [ In reply to ]

Feb 9, 17 8:37

Post #6 of 32 Views: 1610

I do this several times a year with each of my children. Sometimes its just as simple as my daughter and I going out for dinner or even yogurt or other times its my son and I going on a multi-day hiking/camping trip. My wife does something with the other child one on one at the same time.

These times always yield the best conversations and memories. As my daughter gets ready to leave for college later this year, those one on one times are ones that I will cherish the most.

Suffer Well.

Re: Parents: 1 on 1 Kid Outings [MidwestRoadie] [ In reply to ]

Feb 9, 17 8:38

Post #7 of 32 Views: 1604

Father of three boys who are 8, 6 and 6.

My wife and I, and the boys are adamant that we all spend one on one time.

We live 13 miles east of Sesttle.

Most of my weekends evolve around sports. I will take one boy to downtown Seattle where we go to Mariners game, visit the science and children's museum. The highlight for the boy is always ordering room service and eating dinner on his bed.

My wife will take them to Victoria or the San Juan islands for a weekend.

These times are some of our best memories. As soon as we get back from one they immediately want to plan the next trip.

Re: Parents: 1 on 1 Kid Outings [MidwestRoadie] [ In reply to ]

Feb 9, 17 8:38

Post #8 of 32 Views: 1603

We haven't made this a regular thing per se but definitely do it.

One of the best things I did was surprising my son with a day ski trip. I packed all of his ski stuff in the car and then drove him to school like I always do. About 5 mins in he says why are we going this way. I just said oh it's quicker. 10mins later "dad, I'm going to be late for school". 1 minute later he was beaming ear to ear. It was an awesome day.

I'm going to do the same thing with my daughter in a few weeks for her birthday.

Re: Parents: 1 on 1 Kid Outings [Dgconner154] [ In reply to ]

Feb 9, 17 8:43

Post #9 of 32 Views: 1598

Dgconner154 wrote:

Just read THIS the other day and it got me thinking about the same thing. My daughter is only 2 so we haven't had many opportunities yet but I'd like to make it a point to do solo outings with her as she gets older. Curious to hear others experiences.

good read, my youngest daughter just turned 2 as well. I have a blast hanging out with her but I'm not sure I'm up for an 8 day outing solo.

Re: Parents: 1 on 1 Kid Outings [SkipG] [ In reply to ]

Feb 9, 17 9:02

Post #10 of 32 Views: 1575

I had 10 days with my 2 year old when the second was born as my and daughter were kept in hospital but before she was born and after i have always taken her out for lunch or dinner or a babycino........she loves the later

I'm hoping next week i can start skiing with her nows shes had 3 weeks on skis - shes 3

I tend to have a few hours every week with both 1:1 and one of the reasons i've just bought a camper is so we can do trips together........(and so i can get more skiing in :))

Re: Parents: 1 on 1 Kid Outings [MidwestRoadie] [ In reply to ]

Feb 9, 17 9:28

Post #11 of 32 Views: 1557

I do it off and on with them. Nothing on a reg schedule. I absolutely love it. I've found the kids to be much happier also because they are not having to play off each other during the individual time. One of the best times I have had with my son was his first scouting trip. 2 1/2 drive each way with just the two of us plus meal times on the road.

"I think I've cracked the code. double letters are cheaters except for perfect squares (a, d, i, p and y). So Leddy isn't a cheater... "

Re: Parents: 1 on 1 Kid Outings [MidwestRoadie] [ In reply to ]

Feb 9, 17 9:35

Post #12 of 32 Views: 1543

We currently have a 3yr old and a 6 month old. Our general thing now is to take the older one to the local pool since the 2nd one is a bit small still. Little girl is a fish and just loves the water.

I really enjoy the one on one time, but when I am alone and have both of them...ugh its very hard. I think it will get better as the 2nd (and much easier one) gets older.

Re: Parents: 1 on 1 Kid Outings [MidwestRoadie] [ In reply to ]

Feb 9, 17 9:45

Post #13 of 32 Views: 1526

My boys are 1 and 5 and I spend 1 on 1 time with him every week. I get coffee with my Dad almost every Friday morning and lately I've been bringing my son along. With small kids everyday life can really wear my wife and I out, and I'm working on trying to spend quality time together rather than just vegging out, but it's tough.

Re: Parents: 1 on 1 Kid Outings [davec] [ In reply to ]

Feb 9, 17 9:46

Post #14 of 32 Views: 1523

davec wrote:

Father of three boys who are 8, 6 and 6.

My wife and I, and the boys are adamant that we all spend one on one time.

We live 13 miles east of Sesttle.

Most of my weekends evolve around sports. I will take one boy to downtown Seattle where we go to Mariners game, visit the science and children's museum. The highlight for the boy is always ordering room service and eating dinner on his bed.

My wife will take them to Victoria or the San Juan islands for a weekend.

These times are some of our best memories. As soon as we get back from one they immediately want to plan the next trip.

Father of two boys 8 & 5. I take them to HS basketball games, Mariners games and the flight museum quite a bit. This year I'll try camping with them. My wife generally does projects with them (arts and crafts). We also ski together starting this year which is extremely fun.

Re: Parents: 1 on 1 Kid Outings [MidwestRoadie] [ In reply to ]

Feb 9, 17 10:03

Post #15 of 32 Views: 1510

You might want to try cooking dinner for the family with one of the kids.

They learn how to read a recipe, shop for the best deal, knife skills, how to tell when the food is properly cooked, presentation, proper serving and eating utensils, and they will eventually start creating their own recipes.

Our neighborhood does an Iron Chef competition every two months or so. The kids are told what the featured ingredient is a day before the competition and they have to come up with a unique dish.

Re: Parents: 1 on 1 Kid Outings [MidwestRoadie] [ In reply to ]

Feb 9, 17 10:26

Post #16 of 32 Views: 1483

We have one 8 yo boy and life in general requires one on one outings from time to time.

Wife does dinner club with friends once a month so we have a night where we usually at least go out to dinner. Wife has mom nights when my schedule takes me away.

Couple times a year my wife has conferences out of town so we have extended boys weekends. Correspondingly, I meet friends out of town for get togethers around once a year usually and occasionally have friends down to our lake house for a weekend.

During the summer we also do a few father/son weekends at the lake.

Nothing official and certainly easier with just the one kid.

Last edited by: chriskal: Feb 9, 17 10:29

Re: Parents: 1 on 1 Kid Outings [chriskal] [ In reply to ]

Feb 9, 17 11:28

Post #17 of 32 Views: 1447

Some great ideas on this thread! It gives me some ideas to present to the kids for what they'd like to do together. My adopted dad spent a lot of time with us, but it was always taking us along for what he was going to be doing already or wanted us to do, not really the one on one time doing the things that we wanted to do as kids.

I spend a ton of time with the kids already, but much of it at home with both of them & being at home for me too often has the added stress and distraction of looking around & seeing everything that needs to be done.

My son & I go to the woods for walks when the weather is nice, always going to what he calls "our sitting tree" for a rest & chat.

Awesome ideas. And a good reminder that regardless of political or other opinions we all basically want the same thing -- happy families and providing them a good life.

chriskal wrote:

We have one 8 yo boy and life in general requires one on one outings from time to time.

Wife does dinner club with friends once a month so we have a night where we usually at least go out to dinner. Wife has mom nights when my schedule takes me away.

Couple times a year my wife has conferences out of town so we have extended boys weekends. Correspondingly, I meet friends out of town for get togethers around once a year usually and occasionally have friends down to our lake house for a weekend.

During the summer we also do a few father/son weekends at the lake.

Nothing official and certainly easier with just the one kid.

Re: Parents: 1 on 1 Kid Outings [MidwestRoadie] [ In reply to ]

Feb 9, 17 13:19

Post #18 of 32 Views: 1402

We just have one but my wife and I both try to do one on one things with our daughter as much as possible in addition to things together as a family. I coach her hockey team so that is a big part of it for me, but we've also gone to dinner, movies and sporting events just as the two of us. There's a nice Italian bakery across the street from her favorite restaurant in town that we'll go for dessert and sit at the same table each time - she says it is just our thing and my wife can never do that with her. She and my wife also have a lunch spot that they go to sometimes on weekends that is similar where I'm not allowed since it is their thing, which is fine.

"You can never win or lose if you don't run the race." - Richard Butler

Re: Parents: 1 on 1 Kid Outings [MidwestRoadie] [ In reply to ]

Feb 9, 17 13:29

Post #19 of 32 Views: 1395

4 kids. 15, 10, and identical 8 year olds.

We divide and conquer often. Individual kid time occurs all the time due to people going different directions.

Interestingly with the twins (8 yr old girls), if I have one and we stop for a candy bar or something, they always want to get something for their sister.

Re: Parents: 1 on 1 Kid Outings [Andrewmc] [ In reply to ]

Feb 9, 17 13:29

Post #20 of 32 Views: 1394

Andrewmc wrote:

I had 10 days with my 2 year old when the second was born as my and daughter were kept in hospital but before she was born and after i have always taken her out for lunch or dinner or a babycino........she loves the later

I'm hoping next week i can start skiing with her nows shes had 3 weeks on skis - shes 3

I tend to have a few hours every week with both 1:1 and one of the reasons i've just bought a camper is so we can do trips together........(and so i can get more skiing in :))

The best months of my life were the ones I spent tending my daughter while my wife was busy with #2.

Re: Parents: 1 on 1 Kid Outings [MidwestRoadie] [ In reply to ]

Feb 9, 17 16:57

Post #21 of 32 Views: 1357

I did when my 2 sons were growing up-- sports, museums, anything outside -- and contine on as now they are in college. Last couple of birthdays I have run (slowly) a marathon with my youngest and this summer my oldest and I are going on a week long mountain bike trip --- incredible memories that I savor as they reach adulthood and start out on their life and move away

Re: Parents: 1 on 1 Kid Outings [triguy101] [ In reply to ]

Feb 9, 17 17:02

Post #22 of 32 Views: 1352

triguy101 wrote:

We haven't made this a regular thing per se but definitely do it.

One of the best things I did was surprising my son with a day ski trip. I packed all of his ski stuff in the car and then drove him to school like I always do. About 5 mins in he says why are we going this way. I just said oh it's quicker. 10mins later "dad, I'm going to be late for school". 1 minute later he was beaming ear to ear. It was an awesome day.

I'm going to do the same thing with my daughter in a few weeks for her birthday.

For the win!

The devil made me do it the first time, second time I done it on my own - W

Re: Parents: 1 on 1 Kid Outings [MidwestRoadie] [ In reply to ]

Feb 10, 17 11:00

Post #23 of 32 Views: 1280

MidwestRoadie wrote:

My wife & I have decided to start a new thing -- taking our kids out for a Valentines date, she with our son, me with our daughter, likely something low key like lunch & dessert & a trip to the indoor tropical botanical garden.

It got me to thinking that we shouldn't make this a Valentine only thing but each of us have 1 on 1 outings with each kid more regularly, maybe once/month with each of us doing something with each kid. Nothing big, just a low key outing. The more commitments I divest myself from, the more I realize that I value the time with the kids...well, maybe except for the household messes & meltdowns inherent to young kids.

Have any of you made something like this a regular practice or did your parents? What have been the best and most memorable things you've done? Anything that's worked best to make something like this happen regularly or anything that's made it a challenge to keep up?

A bit of a nonsequitur, but... Have you read Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters? I had to parse it a bit in order to get through the religious stuff (to which I don't subscribe), but I took a lot of information from that book. I even used one of its lessons not too long ago and I watched my daughter's downtrodden face light up in spite of the horrible experience she'd had at school that afternoon.

You're on the right path for even considering such a regular date. Kudos, sir. Well done.

Re: Parents: 1 on 1 Kid Outings [MidwestRoadie] [ In reply to ]

Feb 10, 17 12:21

Post #24 of 32 Views: 1268

MidwestRoadie wrote:

My wife & I have decided to start a new thing -- taking our kids out for a Valentines date, she with our son, me with our daughter, likely something low key like lunch & dessert & a trip to the indoor tropical botanical garden.

It got me to thinking that we shouldn't make this a Valentine only thing but each of us have 1 on 1 outings with each kid more regularly, maybe once/month with each of us doing something with each kid. Nothing big, just a low key outing. The more commitments I divest myself from, the more I realize that I value the time with the kids...well, maybe except for the household messes & meltdowns inherent to young kids.

Have any of you made something like this a regular practice or did your parents? What have been the best and most memorable things you've done? Anything that's worked best to make something like this happen regularly or anything that's made it a challenge to keep up?

Doing this with children is a great idea but be careful, your child may grow so fond of you that it will be difficult to shake her/him off when you want to be alone.My father did this with me as a child and it became the norm many years later, still creating beautiful memories. We were stuck like glue until his passing last Friday evening.

_____________________________________
DISH is how we do it.

Re: Parents: 1 on 1 Kid Outings [travelmama] [ In reply to ]

Feb 10, 17 12:28

Post #25 of 32 Views: 1259

travelmama wrote:

MidwestRoadie wrote:

My wife & I have decided to start a new thing -- taking our kids out for a Valentines date, she with our son, me with our daughter, likely something low key like lunch & dessert & a trip to the indoor tropical botanical garden.

It got me to thinking that we shouldn't make this a Valentine only thing but each of us have 1 on 1 outings with each kid more regularly, maybe once/month with each of us doing something with each kid. Nothing big, just a low key outing. The more commitments I divest myself from, the more I realize that I value the time with the kids...well, maybe except for the household messes & meltdowns inherent to young kids.

Have any of you made something like this a regular practice or did your parents? What have been the best and most memorable things you've done? Anything that's worked best to make something like this happen regularly or anything that's made it a challenge to keep up?

Doing this with children is a great idea but be careful, your child may grow so fond of you that it will be difficult to shake her/him off when you want to be alone.My father did this with me as a child and it became the norm many years later, still creating beautiful memories. We were stuck like glue until his passing last Friday evening.

sorry to hear, sounds like a great dad

sometimes

Re: Parents: 1 on 1 Kid Outings [travelmama] [ In reply to ]

Feb 10, 17 13:43

Post #26 of 32 Views: 385

I hope you're right about the kids becoming unshakable.

I'm also really sorry to hear about your dad. It sounds like you were both lucky to have an incredible relationship & that he'll carry on through you in many ways. He must have been a great man. I wish you peace as you mourn and heal.

Re: Parents: 1 on 1 Kid Outings [MidwestRoadie] [ In reply to ]

Feb 10, 17 16:03

Post #27 of 32 Views: 373

MidwestRoadie wrote:

I hope you're right about the kids becoming unshakable.

I'm also really sorry to hear about your dad. It sounds like you were both lucky to have an incredible relationship & that he'll carry on through you in many ways. He must have been a great man. I wish you peace as you mourn and heal.

Thank you kindly. Yesterday I dropped off coffee, cookies and tea to my fathers friends at the community center and not one bad word was said about him and many knew a lot of me. One ask that I visit more often so that he can see my face to remind him of my father. We dote on one another to a fault and to know the relationship that makes sense to US. I have a friend who also has a close relationship to her mother and though she has a family of her own, the mother comes first. It is a beautiful thing. I truly wish for others to have and know the absolute togetherness between a parent and a child no matter how crazy it can be at times.

_____________________________________
DISH is how we do it.

Re: Parents: 1 on 1 Kid Outings [MidwestRoadie] [ In reply to ]

Feb 10, 17 17:40

Post #28 of 32 Views: 364

My kids are now 18 & 16 and we've done this for a number of years now. Lots of small things- a meal, skiing, shopping. But also some pretty epic things involving air travel. These, by far, are the most memorable experiences. And they have multiple benefits. Since Mrs Crises and I work together if one of us stays home working the hit to income isn't as harsh. The inevitable bickering between siblings is gone. Decision making is easier when only two are involved.

I encourage everyone I know to do this kind of thing. It makes for great relationships and offers tons of teachable moments

Re: Parents: 1 on 1 Kid Outings [SkipG] [ In reply to ]

Feb 11, 17 15:24

Post #29 of 32 Views: 347

SkipG wrote:

Dgconner154 wrote:

Just read THIS the other day and it got me thinking about the same thing. My daughter is only 2 so we haven't had many opportunities yet but I'd like to make it a point to do solo outings with her as she gets older. Curious to hear others experiences.

good read, my youngest daughter just turned 2 as well. I have a blast hanging out with her but I'm not sure I'm up for an 8 day outing solo.

Yeah I question what memories anyone under the age of about 5 any child truly preserves. Perhaps with today's technology it might be easier. But that's a lot of money for something I doubt lasts in their minds - isn't that the person that counts afterall?

Re: Parents: 1 on 1 Kid Outings [mv2005] [ In reply to ]

Feb 11, 17 16:03

Post #30 of 32 Views: 335

My first memory was at 25 months of age when I first saw my newborn brother and mom in the hospital. Memories are more spotty after that, but it's one I can pinpoint vividly.

I'm not sure that the real importance is the kid remembering exact details of where they went with the parent, what the did, etc. as much as it's about developing the relationship of love, trust, and commitment. Maybe doing some things in new places and new experiences may result in some fun and galvanize the relational aspects of the experience in a way being at home or in familiar territory wouldn't.

By the way -- had much fun with the little lady today. She wanted to see Moana so we went to that and picked up ingredients to make a special treat together when we got home. She may have a sugar crash soon.

Re: Parents: 1 on 1 Kid Outings [MidwestRoadie] [ In reply to ]

Feb 11, 17 17:19

Post #31 of 32 Views: 328

I don't question the bonding aspect, I question the going all out side of things. I was taken on a round the world trip when I was 6. My other siblings were 1,2 and 8. I barely remember any of it. The younger two have no memories.

The same bonding experiences can be had locally at a fraction of the cost (your movie and cooking being a prime example). Perhaps I'd think differently if I had more disposable income but the cynic in me wonders how much is about the child and how much is about the pressure of needing to do things bigger and better.

Re: Parents: 1 on 1 Kid Outings [mv2005] [ In reply to ]

Feb 11, 17 17:46

Post #32 of 32 Views: 325

That's why we are making dinner together tonight. It doesn't cost anything extra.

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