LOL... you are sick dude, but we have all been there

It has happened to me a few times. Get off the path quickly. Dump away. Use the cheapest piece of clothing as a cleaning device (usually socks). Continue run. This rarely happens to me anymore as I have trained my body to drop a duece as soon as I wake up.

It depends. Does this happen all the time? If so, plan your route to take you past a place with a restroom or porta-potty. My wife has this happen at around 3 miles into any run and plans accordingly. It doesn't matter if she goes before the run or not either. When she is doing a race she takes Immodium but that messes her system up for a couple of days.

Don

Uta Pippig. Sorry.

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Go Faster

I have a friend who always has to shit when we run, he jumps into the weeds and goes. He also folds up some TP to take with him and tucks it into his shorts.

happens to me all the time - i think it's the caffeine. i duck into the trees and go quick. just make sure you don't get any on your shoes.

Ditto on the "planning" idea...I'm one of those that more often than not, especially in the morning, has to go about 3 miles in, regardless of what took place before the run. So almost always I will make sure that I have a place to, um, rest about 20 minutes in.

Another technique is to run a mile or so and make that end up at your house; for many this amount of time is enough to, um, loosen things up enough so that a quick pit stop in the comfort of your own surroundings is all that needs to happen. Resume run and it should go off without any further issues.

You guys have got to be sh****n me! When I run, #2 is the last thing I think of. Kind of reminds me of a buddy of mine who was in the Marine Corp. I had just seen Full Metal Jacket and I asked him how he took a dump when the toilets were out in te open. His reply was: " I was so shook up, I didn't take a dump for 4 weeks".

I know we've all left steamy piles in bizarre places we're not proud to admit. The worst is always pre-race and there is not enough portos so the line are long. Used to be the races (tris in particular) were the only places that the women's bathroom lines were shorter than the men's.

In training, like everyone has said, you just try to be near known pitstops.

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______________________________
Have you hugged Your Mom today?

BTW - are you one of the Flanagan's who lived, and swam extremely well, in Hawaii?

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______________________________
Have you hugged Your Mom today?

I always tell the boys on my high school cross-country team that you're not a real runner until you've had to make a pit-stop in the bushes :)

When I was solely a runner and training for a marathon, I'd put TP in a zip-lock bag and tuck it in my shorts (no, not the whole roll). THere were many times when I needed it.

Riding it usually isn't a problem, and I just make doubly sure I'm empty before I start running.

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Some are born to move the world to live their fantasies...

https://triomultisport.com/
http://www.mjolnircycles.com/

I usually tear a strip off the bottom of one of my singlets. My favorite singlets are usually shorter.

Nope, never lived in Hawaii.

First, this is WAY*** TMI but still... I am reminded of the response the 2d woman of my dreams - Robin Quivers (Howard Stern sidekick) gave when running through the streets of SFO: "The urge came and it ran down my legs. I sprinted to a gentleman with a waterhose, rinsed myself off then ran into the hotel."

Disgusting, yet I still lust after her daily.



- mike

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kestrel driver


DonorsChoose.org (!!!)
bogolight.com (!!!)

Back when I was a high school runner we didn't run in fancy sweat-wicking singlets - just cotton T-shirts. Since there was an endless supply of T-shirts from road races there was always something to wipe with in an emergency. And since x-country and track practice started at 3:00 PM sharp, which seemed timed perfectly for the plumbing system, there were many such emergencies. We used to call it "losing shirts on the run."

Roll up some TP and put it in one of the little snack sized Ziploc bags. All my running shorts have a small pocket in them, so that's where I put the TP. Sometimes I have no desire to 'go' at the beginning of a run, but an hour or so into it.... holy crap! Just run for the bushes and hope no cars are coming... :) Yesterday I was in mile 9 of 10 and had to reallllly go. I was in town (not the country), so there was nowhere to go... but wait... what's that in the distance? A Burger King? Needless to say, I made a stop... and it wasn't for coffee and hot cakes. I guess Burger King IS good for something!

These are good tips (TP in Ziploc). As someone that runs at 4AM (during the school year), very few places are open. Occassionaly all the moving "knocks something loose" and it's time to "rokk a duece" (yes loose and duece rhymes ... I'm brilliant).

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-- Every morning brings opportunity;
Each evening offers judgement. --

I got caught short this winter on a long run, and had to take a pony in the woods.

We had a long cold spell and had to wipe my rusty star fish with snow, that brought a tear to the eye!

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Deceptively slow.

This thread is good for a laugh as I am picturing an elderly lady working in her yard, coming across the "deuce" and picturing her pondering which big neighborhood dog, mountain lion, bear, etc was eating corn recently.

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-- Every morning brings opportunity;
Each evening offers judgement. --

I was once told that bananas have a "plugging" effect. I have no idea if that is true. But I have been eating a banana before every long run for years and haven't laid cable in unwanted places since then.

Good luck!

plan your routes along household construction sites... Where I live it seems as though there's alway's at least 1 house in the area which has a porta-potty setup in the front yard...

I've been there a number of times saying to myself... I'm 5 miles from home, walking will take just too damn long... Then around the bend... what's that? Ah..... a porta-potty... yes... Continue run...

There is foresight and then there is FORESIGHT. Master planner.

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-- Every morning brings opportunity;
Each evening offers judgement. --

That's bogus. Sorry. Any food will take days to have any effect. So you could eat a pound of lard for lunch and that high fiber dinner you had last night will still find its way out before that lard makes a permament home near your colon. Same thing in reverse. Mack down a 40g fiber dinner, and you won't be seeing that fire out your backside for at least a day if not two days.

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**************
Too f@ckin depressed from various injuries to care about having a signature line.

Sponsored by Blue Shield PPO.

If you have to drop a piece of dirty spine its best to jump a fence and then get the hell out of there.

I can usually tell early in the run if this will be a problem, then I stick close to known bathrooms. I usually do most of my running at night, so finding a quiet spot is easy. If I've had the dump of the day, no worries. If it's been a while,running will certainly cause a problem. When I have to go, it becomes so painfull that I can't hold it. I'm talking let it out now or die. The cramps feel like your worst food poisening and it usually is diahrea like. This used to be such a problem, and a worry that I wasn't sure what to do. Now it is so rare I hardley worry without changing a single eating habit. Almost like the act of running flooded the bowels with water. I always thought "What if this happens and I'm stuck in traffic, wonder how many people out there pooped themselves in their own car. And would it be better to be embarr assed pooping beside the car vs. your pants." Any takers on that one.

I love this board...

SAC is pretty used to seeing a "dip" in my HR profiles, as I have to stop to piss on just about every damn run I do, when I run off the bike. No idea why.

Usually I try to take care of business before I set out to run, so I've not had to come home missing a sock for a while now.

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<If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough>
Get Fitter!
Proud member of the Smartasscrew, MONSTER CLUB
Get your FIX today?

[reply] just make sure you don't get any on your shoes.[/reply]

urgh... did this once. Was out for a run after a bike... happened to be wearing bib shorts, so it was a frantic effort to get them off before I lost control. It was only a small amount, but the shoes had enough miles in them that I figured they should be retired.

But in general, pinching a loaf on a run is not uncommon for me. One time things weren't going so well, and I had to make 3 visits to the bushes. Not fun. It makes for some interesting stories.

ha, this is wack...

it was last year, i did a sprint distance race in the tampa area. had fair swim and bike split. however, about a mile into the 3.1mile run my stomach started gurggling (sp). i slowed my pace a bit, it stopped. continued easy, then, out of no where it came back, but this time i knew i had to fire off gushing wet bomb. i thought to myself, "for the love of god and everything that is holy," "please don't." so many people around, i'm out in the open crouching over swearing, with heart rate in the 190's..... so, magically, just before the moment of truth in a tri suit, i came upon my saving grace a construction site shitter......

2 min. later and lighter, i was a new man, ran my fastest 2mile ever....

I did an Olympic distance yesterday without my morning ritual of " giving birth to a politician" and felt bloated all the way round but just could not go despite a number of attempts.Once I got home the first thing I did was a GHD, so sometimes "s**t happens"

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Deceptively slow.

Wow, I thought I was the only one. Mine are usually like clockwork. 45 mins into a run, I will have one. And I am usually to the minute. So I have been trying to figure out if I am making myself go mentally, or if it is totally physical. No concrete conclusion yet.
M~

Sometimes when the kids are clamoring to be dropped off at the pool I make way for the nearest store of any type. Rare is the proprietor who will deny a bathroom visit to a sweaty, panting, desperate man.

Most people will initially rebuff you but the second question is usually successful when you point out that things are so code red that you're going to go...it's their choice if it's in their bathroom or in the milk aisle.

bombs away!!

B.

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http://www.teamorganicnyc.com
Sponsored by: TBA

Do you get the warnings of barking spiders or do you drop your cargo with no prior warning?

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Deceptively slow.

yesterday afternoon I had a nice lunch, and a nice nap, and decided to go out for a run. I hadn't been running consistently recently and was happy to do a easy long run. About an hour into it, my stomach starts acting up; I go run into the bushes to pee, but nothing would come out. All I could feel was the inexplicable urge to do #2, I ran like hell to the nearest public washroom (it was within 2 minutes). I think I'm going to have to carry some TP in ziploc bags now... that was close. real close.

it 'depends'

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_______________________________________________________________

"the trouble with normal is - it always gets worse"

- Cockburn

You haven't lived until you've crapped yourself 2 miles from home and are forced to walk all the way with it running down your leg. Good times.

You could clench those butt cheeks extra tight but it is a no win situation because it is a proven fact that clenched butt cheeks (known by the scientific name "picleinmyazz") will cost you 23 seconds per mile off your pace.

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________________
Adrian in Vancouver

I am happy to report I haven't lived then :) I can go without that experience. I find if I go out too hard too fast I can have problems. Did a half IM yesterday and my stomach was a wreck the whole time. I had to stop half way through the run to use the porto. That is great experience too. Completely soaking wet, miserable and sitting in a 150 degree porto at an aid station. Good times:)

Any run over 5miles and I carry TP with me. In an emergency, shirt or socks work. Also leaves, I grab them from the trees instead of off the ground. Less chance of Poison Ivy, stinging Nettle, etc. Once while running through the city I had an attack, I went up to someone's door, knocked and asked to use their bathroom. They gave me a funny look but let me in. Better than going in the street or in my pants.

this has happened to me several times. Once in high school while training. Thank God I was by myself and near a wooded area. Crouched back up against a tree and lost my insides. I did have to wipe with some crunch leaves though since it was late fall.
Recently, I was at a race and hadn't gone in the morning. I was worried b/c this is unuaual for a race day. The about 20min to start the two nectarines I ate the day before attacked me. I could see the line for the jon and it was too long for my insides. I had the minivan for the race and my daughter's training potty was in there. Oh thank heaven, closed the doors sat my big rear on the mini hopper and let loose. There were baby wipes and everything. Since AM's are usually cool the windows were up. When I returned at about 10 and opened the doors I was thrown to my knees by the smell that had been trapped and heating for several hours. Even after dumping out the contents, I went to clean it and my sister looked and asked if that was pudding in there, the sides were that coated in thick brown matter. I responded, I only wish - uuugh

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Great things never come from comfort zones.

Hilarious "shit" on this thread. I guess you are "never alone" in anything. I've certainly dealt with this myself. Used to run on some wooded trails, making this not much of an issue. Now I live in the city and it takes more planning. There is nothing like that feeling of hobbling home with soiled spandex--makes you feel like a dog who was just scolded for not following direction. My two suggestions.

1. Add psylium husk fiber (metamucil w/o the sugar and crap) to your routine every morning--makes things easier to predict.

2. Don't eat 2-3 hrs before any big workout. If you need to eat, don't do so until you get the motor running first, for some reason it works better ( i imagine you more readily use the food for fuel than begin to digest it if you eat it while on the move).

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"ah-hem...the time is yours."

I'm disgusted with myself (and you all too) for laughing so heartily while reading these posts. I resisted for a full day before giving in.

So...vis a vis the snowball trick; I climb and BC ski in the wintertime out here and one of my favorite refreshers is having lots of snow around for a positively super clean-up. (I always pack out the bulk however; I know, I'm an extremist, but if you ever were on high up on Shasta or Whitney before the "Pack it out"rule, you'd know how essential it can be.)

Speaking of which, for all you "drop-trou-on-the-way" folks, take a doggie bag with you and be responsible for yourself. If the pet owners can doo the right thing, why can't you?

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Mr. Uncaptured External Costs

Fossil carbon is planetary poison.

Ah the variety of the English language, in case you you werent't keeping track at home.

drop a duece
pit stop
left steamy piles
losing shirts on the run
rokk a duece
take a pony
laid cable
drop a piece of dirty spine
take care of business
pinching a loaf
fire off gushing wet bomb
giving birth to a politician
kids are clamoring to be dropped off at the pool
drop your cargo

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*********************
"When I first had the opportunity to compete in triathlon, it was the chicks and their skimpy race clothing that drew me in. Everyone was so welcoming and the lifestyle so obviously narcissistic. I fed off of that vain energy. To me it is what the sport is all about."

me and the misses are about about to drop a duece laughing at that compilation!! good work.

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_________________________________
I'll be what I am
A solitary man

i was ready to count all of that until you beat me to it.

thanks!

;P

This thread is KILLING me! Once again, this board has made me feel like I'm not alone. :) My fiance thinks I'm weird b/c he never gets urges like this on his runs. Now I have a good "told you so!" for him. :)

If I don't take care of business before a run, I know the run will take care of it for me. It happens so often that I carry 2 thick paper towels in my sports bra. Much more durable than TP and it absorbs the sweat which makes it like a handy wipe. Oh my God...I can't believe I just wrote that. :)

I usually get about a 30 second warning. It's like my body knows when a good hiding spot is coming up. I run on the prairie path and those spots are few and far between. The worst timing was when I had to go in a bunch of bushes about 100 ft from my door. I really thought I'd make it. Thank God for those bushes.

Dammit if this didn't happen to me for the first time ever tonight! I think it was the power of suggestion. I had to do the race-walk waddle all the way home b/c I was not dropping trau in the middle of Boston.

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Life isn't measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the number of moments that take your breath away.

Or "Drop the Jackson 5 off at the pool"

OK so I haven't checked on this thread since the first dozen replies came in a few days ago when I started it. I am quite "relieved" to know that many others go through this. However, I have to say that Tim-mech must not know what he is talking about, because I don't think the 'i have to take a shit while running' shit is the type that can even be picked up in a doggie bag--you would probably need something like a soup ladel. I was so pleased to see the responses, but the scariest is by Tri1016...papertowels in the sportsbra getting wet so they become like baby wipes...I was dying, and all these years I have been telling myself that girls don't take shits.

I had my first experience with this just last week. I was on a 10 mile loop run and around 5 mi, the pressure began to build. I was WAY uncomfortable with the idea of going in the woods, but after about a mile of unbearable discomfort, I couldn't take it anymore. I grabbed (stole) a newspaper out of a yard, pulled out a loose page of classified ads and put the rest back. I snuck off into a wooded area and took care of business.

It was much easier than I would have thought...

I'm amazed at the amount of crap in the paper these days.

It's unbelievable.

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"You'll find a slight squeeze on the hooter an excellent safety precaution, Miss Scrumptious."

"I can live with doubt and uncertainty and not knowing. I think it is much more interesting to live not knowing than to have answers that might be wrong." -- Richard Feynman

I often have the urge to drop a Butt Nuggett whilst out running. If you have nothing to clean up with, just use a sock.

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Deceptively slow.

Here is my unfortunate contribution to this truly crappy thread. Many years ago, I lived in this basement apartment that was half below ground level. I had this walk out patio that had about 4 foot walls. I never used it because if you were out there sitting, you would be looking at concrete...not too scenic. Well after the fact, a buddy of mine tells me of a certain incident that occurred on my patio. He was running one day when the urge came on very strongly. I was not home and with no time to spare, he jumped down onto my patio and left a nice dukie. As I mentioned, fortunately I was not home and fortunately never used the patio. I often wondered what his expression and my expression would have been if I had been home and having heard a noise coming from my patio, pulled open the shades. That would have scarred me for life.

Be sure to read the post from TJ Burke:

http://forum.slowtwitch.com/...earch_string;#245081

...quite possibly the funniest thing I have ever read here.

I was in the Providian Relay (Calistoga to Santa cruz, 199 miles and 12 people) a few years ago. Made a poor dinner choice with a burrito at 10pm, and my next running leg was at about 2am. tried to go before hand, but no luck - the internal clock was too messed up. I had the leg that was from Marin into San Francisco. Had to go... pulled off into the bushes, turned off the blinking lights i was wearing and went, no problem. About a mile or two later I had to take another dump. Unfortunately, at this point I was on the Golden Gate Bridge. There's not a lot of cover out there...

Second light pole past the Marin County line, if anyone is interested.

J

Triple, that is so funny! You know that anyone who has had to do this (and if you run enough, it will happen eventually, no matter what plans/adjustments you make) is thinking that same thing as they bound out of the bushes, looking both ways. It's also kind of funny how many people have viewed this thread too. Glad to know I'm not alone!

This had only happened to me maybe twice in over 25 years of running, but has become a regular (for lack of a better word) problem since running Boston in April. The heat and my stomach were bothering me during the race and I had to make five different pitstops along the course as a result. Since then, if I'm running on a hot day, I have to go.

I hope it ain't hot on the run at MOO : (

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"You can never win or lose if you don't run the race." - Richard Butler

I often find in my running shorts, skid marks like Mars bars!

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Deceptively slow.

Try letting a pan full of snappers go before heading out the door. This will lessen the chances of having a muddy run.

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Deceptively slow.