10/10 for the shades!

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coming soon...

Thanks!

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-All You Haters Suck My Balls-

 
You'll fit in well in the tri world.

You might want to loosen that race belt. Looks like you've got a little muffin top going on in that last pic.

You wore a speed suit for what was likely a 400m pool swim? That was good for about a net loss of 20 seconds with the time it took to strip... but it's all about looking like you belong...

And if it was a pool swim I am guessing the bike wasn't long enough to necesitate the Profile AeroDrink.

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Portside Athletics Blog

pale in comparison to this guy...he did the bike/run in this getup. He was stopping and slapping hands with all the spectators and posing for the other competitors...class act!

Mom...? I thought you gave up racing?

<discovers new hero>

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http://www.y-rocket.blogspot.com/

make sure you take note of the "bush" hair

yawn.......

Thats my boy McStumpe on ST

a few of us were just having a good time at this race to close out the season. Event may or my not have been fueled by Bud Light Lime.
The Veloca Raptor costume was tough to run in so I had to ditch it after a mile! Transition times were brutal at this race! haa

http://www.facebook.com/...a3&id=1646646237
http://www.facebook.com/...c4&id=1646646237
http://www.facebook.com/...62&id=1646646237

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Because Pirates Tri Harder - MTXE
http://www.scurvydogstriathlon.com

Bwahaha OMG I hadn't noticed...thank you, I think.

How about a link to the results?

Nice gut in that finishing pic btw

You're taking narcissism to the next level; keep up the good work! Like the sunglasses!

hahahaha AWESOME! Small world...Dr. Love had a dropped chain in transition and I had to yell at him while he was mounting his bike so he didnt faceplant and crash the lovely Spec Transition.

How bout that "swim", lol.

Nice work Doughboy.

I like the acronym on your cap, it seems to apply to a couple of posters here on this thread.

dude, you really need to work on that low self-esteem problem of yours....

Wow... that is a strange way to ask to be pointed and lauphed at.

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Run, work, run, sleep, repeat until fast, injured or insane.

I'm sure you're making Larry and the Gibbs construction family/team really proud of the free advertising. He'd be appalled

Yo...give me back my finishers photo!

I don't think it was quite this bad....here's me Christmas of 2007, when I decided I wanted to train for my first Triathlon.

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-All You Haters Suck My Balls-

C'mon...for real? That's pretty impressive then. Slide that race number up (not too far given the red uni).

Out of curiosity...what the heck was that picture for...drop it in a frame to make a gift for mum?

I think you rolled over in bed and crushed a lizard.

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Herston Roskind, PLC
Herston on Tennessee Family Law

Exactly how drunk were you when you decided that getting that tattoo would be a good idea?

Dude, if all these haters suck your balls, you're gonna be rocking a purple moonhopper in no time.

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nec rege, nec populo, sed utroque

LOL

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"the trick is to keep losing weight until your friends and family ask you if you've been sick. then you know you're within 10 pounds. if they start whispering to each other, wondering if you've got cancer or aids, you're within 5. when they actually do an intervention, you're at race weight." - Slowman

I was way worse than drunk. I was 18.

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-All You Haters Suck My Balls-

Seeing as this thread seems to be in aid of narcissism, heres a couple of me



Port of Tauranga half ironman - I rode like an idiot, out splitting former world champ & olympic champ Hamish Carter - I was on target for a 1:25 run at this point then about 5 minutes from now I blow the f@$* up and struggle to a BS 1:4X run split. The stupid amounts of salt on my shoulders and thighs should have been a giveaway

and heres one for the laadiees..... haha


I lost a bet. Drunken fixie riding on Ponsonby road, arguably the most fashionable/stylish street in the country - Im stoked I wasnt wearing briefs

.

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nec rege, nec populo, sed utroque

Hrm. Judging by the second pic, you're gonna look REALLY old when you lose some more hair. And judging by the running angle in the last photo, either you're about to fall over or you didn't push hard enough.

John

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Top notch coaching: Francois and Accelerate3 | Follow on Twitter: LifetimeAthlete |

Not sure why Im gonna look REALLY old?? Im happy for your input though, so I can help fight the ravages of time. I dont debate that Ill look really old though, I feel my biggest issue will be my stupidly soft and elastic face skin, I fear that advancing years will render me looking like deputy dawg, or perhaps one of the two cynical old guys in the muppet show. Losing MORE hair!!!! WTF! I have no current loss, and my genetics would suggest its of no concern!!

As for the not pushing hard enough, as I explained I COMPLETELY blew up 5 minutes later - so yeah, hard enough thanks! I think its a combination of rounding a bend and my terrible biomechanics that makes me look like im about to bail.

.

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nec rege, nec populo, sed utroque

misquoted. I was talking about the OP's photos.

John

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Top notch coaching: Francois and Accelerate3 | Follow on Twitter: LifetimeAthlete |

Whew, my ego was getting deflated! - I turn 30 in a couple of months, so have been getting all sorts of getting old man comments from mates - As long as they cant keep up, they can speak as much shit as they like ;)

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nec rege, nec populo, sed utroque

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-All You Haters Suck My Balls-

Instant Classic!!!!!

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Robert Flanigan

From the finger pointing, you sure seem pretty damn happy to be winning shoe fresheners, a roll up blanket and a luggage tag. And holy shit do you have one hell of a receding hair line for someone your age. Wow. And no, those ridiculous sunglasses do not cover enough of your fivehead.

LOL - pretty funny!

Congrats on your achievements on many levels, well done and very impressive!

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Another IM in 2016 - hopefully..

dude, those shades are soooooo 80's

20??

Awesome post, we need more of that. Straight to the point.

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_________________________________________________
CAMPAGNOLO GRAN FONDO NEW YORK

Where are the pictures of other people getting your prizes. Their smiles sustain me.

I still haven't decided if this thread is a work of genius. I don't know and I'm not going to get all deconstructionist on it. In any event, it's hilarious and it needs a bump. Congratulations on your race.

Phil

McMinnville City Triathlon?

No thats the one where I went off course for 3 miles because the volunteers couldnt be bothered tolift a fngr and point me in the right direction at an intersection the had coned off in a way that made it look like you were supposed to turn.

This is Cedars of Lebanon.

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-All You Haters Suck My Balls-

Yeah, blame the volunteers. It's not like it's your job to know the course; heaven forbid. You were obviously too busy squeezing into your speed suit for a 400m pool swim to be bothered to glance at a map.

And of course you have ridden/driven the course pre race day, or at the very least studied the map, correct?

And how did it take you 3 miles to realize you were off course?

John

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Top notch coaching: Francois and Accelerate3 | Follow on Twitter: LifetimeAthlete |

Three miles total. Maybe 4. Out and back. There was only one guy n front of me at the time and he went out of sight on a roller, I made the turn.

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-All You Haters Suck My Balls-

Hrm. Pudgy, balding and directionally challenged. That's a bad trifecta, dude.

John

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Top notch coaching: Francois and Accelerate3 | Follow on Twitter: LifetimeAthlete |

Dude send the bottom pic to sobe and ask for a sponsorship with lanuage that you'll always wear a belly shirt in races to show off that tat.

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"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."
Hunter S. Thompson

I don't know what sort of a reaction you're trying to get from me with your needling posts. I'm 5' 8", 143lbs and sub 10% body fat, close to 8%, actually. My hairline has receded some, but I am far from balding. Lets see some of your race pics. We could post a "who's hotter" poll in the women's.

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-All You Haters Suck My Balls-

I don't even want to know how many (and what kind of) traumas you have suffered in your childhood.

P.S. Your signature line is pretty belligerent. I don't know you at all, but you definitely come across as a hater. Which brings me to the following question: Do you suck your own balls?

If I could suck my own balls I wouldn't be posting here.

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-All You Haters Suck My Balls-

No. He delivers straight to the point what triathlon is about (I am the greatest). No talking around it with stupid race reports or glorious finishtimes hidden in questions.

There is only one thing that would be even better to serve the cause: a shot of his cock with a measurement tape aside it.
However, AFAIK this would not be appreciated by the Slowmans. And therefore his picks are the very best choice. Well done.

Who's next?

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_________________________________________________
CAMPAGNOLO GRAN FONDO NEW YORK

"Who's next?"

I may not be the very next but I'll see about posting some pics when I do a sprint tri with a Halloween theme next month.

I'm planning on being "Captain Compresso". I'll wear as much compression gear as I can find, even during the swim.

So obviously you have tried before, and something tells me that you keep trying...

What kind? Pretty much any kind, and I'm succeeding. :D

Sure, if you want. I've got some race photos up in my profile, have at it. (And yes, I'm more balding than you are, but I'm 42 and I'm ok with it. ;-) )

John

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Top notch coaching: Francois and Accelerate3 | Follow on Twitter: LifetimeAthlete |

You guys talking about baldness like is 100% bad.

Do you ever wonder why the really hot girl is with the balding guy that doesnt seem to be famous or a millionaire? Research, research and then cry yourself to sleep asking God why are you not loosing more hair. All those long hair guys, really not cutting it :) :) :)

Most everyone not agreeing with this, has tons of hair........

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______________________________________
"Bros b4 Hos, man" House MD

Team Aquaphor 06-08

Hehehehe...have you SEEN the hairline in my photos?

Although, I must say that the OP if that is him with the lizard tattoo, it's running away from his face much faster than it is mine. ;)

John

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Top notch coaching: Francois and Accelerate3 | Follow on Twitter: LifetimeAthlete |

I sense that you are drawn to the OP, which appears to make you uncomfortable...kind of like one of those C grade chick flicks where the two parties spend the whole movie hating on each other and then suddenly and to both of their horror they are having angry sex.

Gotta go beat my kid. Haven't decided which one yet, maybe both.

mmm....angry sex. w00t!

Beat them both, you wouldn't want someone to think you're showing favoritism. ;)

John

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Top notch coaching: Francois and Accelerate3 | Follow on Twitter: LifetimeAthlete |

Has anyone tried helping you with your issues, I mean more than a pep talk. Are those kids forced to live with you?

"Has anyone tried helping you with your issues,"

What's the point? People like me never recover apparently.

I never thought I would appreciate this picture as much as I do now that this thread exists.




Like many readers, I can't decide if Trash Talk is completely brilliant or totally nuts. It may be both.

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**************************
Multisport Coach/Fitness Trainer, Nashville TN
Thoughts:http://www.sttrainercoaching.blogspot.com/
Results: http://sttrainer.blogspot.com/
Coaching: http://www.STtrainer.com

I take back what I said earlier. That's not a fivehead. That's a sixhead!

"Like many readers, I can't decide if Trash Talk is completely brilliant or totally nuts. It may be both."

I vote brilliant, he knows what he's doing in his posts.

I'll read any thread he starts because I know it'll be entertaining.

Hey Jason, you guys got your arses whipped by a 16 year old! HA!

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Cheers...

Rich

Dude you are NO WAY 10% body fat. you are not cut nearly enough. closer to 15 if not 20% I would bet.

what did you use to measure? wishful thinking?

I'm still waiting for him to post the poll. FWIW, in the swim exit photo, I'm at 5'10"/168 and my impedance scale tells me 9%.

John

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Top notch coaching: Francois and Accelerate3 | Follow on Twitter: LifetimeAthlete |

Thread is genius--Trash Talk playing ST like a violin. Speed suit is my favorite touch.

This thread reminds me a little bit of a troll thread about 6 months ago in which someone pretended to be a soccer player who wanted to "try" a triathlon and was "convinced" that if he trained (can't remember amount) that he could win an oly and he wanted advice on how to do it. Of course, ST went bat shit. Really got funny when the guy started to trickle out details like he could run a 5k in 28 minutes (or something like that)--like chum in the water. Thread just went on and on.

Dude that picture that ST trainer posted is over a year old. I'm in way better shape now. I got a caliper test done at the Y last week. They did it 3 times and I averaged the results. 9.2% was the exact number. I used to be really fat, and I have some loose skin around my belly that wont go away. Pay for my surgery. You and Devlin have jacked off to my pictures enough. You pretty much owe me.

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-All You Haters Suck My Balls-

Man, that kid is fast! He won the overall at every race I saw him in this year, and he kicked ass in the crit series.

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-All You Haters Suck My Balls-

Reading this entire thread has damaged me beyond belief. I may have to go over to the dark side.

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===============
Proud member of the MSF (Maple Syrup Mafia)

  

It's up now Grampa. Hurry and post your pics before you forget.

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-All You Haters Suck My Balls-

pure genius!

You already did

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______________________________________
"Bros b4 Hos, man" House MD

Team Aquaphor 06-08

ok, if I had to suffer this, EVERYONE should suffer this-



MY EYES! MY EYES!

And you have to be the first person I've ever met who could safely wear white lycra shorts. ;)

John

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Top notch coaching: Francois and Accelerate3 | Follow on Twitter: LifetimeAthlete |

I didn't realize ST had such a large gay following...

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________________________________________________________________________
It's not how many years you have left in life, it's how much life you have left in your years!

I was referring to your race pics, look at your arms. Calipers are routinely off by 10 percent which means my guess from visual is correct.

Is that a camel toe or a two headed wart? Dude my girlfriends clam doesn't look that pronounced.....did you do a 'Silence of the Lambs' and tuck your junk between your legs. Eeeeeyikes.

I wonder why he cut the footsie's off of the PJ's???

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________________________________________________________________________
It's not how many years you have left in life, it's how much life you have left in your years!

Go fuck yourself. I'm nowhere close to 20% body fat, asshole.

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-All You Haters Suck My Balls-

Dude...relax! Flyingmonkey will beat your ass! He's a kung fu master ;-)

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________________________________________________________________________
It's not how many years you have left in life, it's how much life you have left in your years!

go get a Dexa scan

and I think you are the expert on fucking oneself since you have tried to suck your own balls.

go get a Dexa scan

Did that. 27% is pretty humbling. :)

This compares to about 13% through other methods.

I also thought you missed the "If I could do that I wouldn't be posting here" opportunity. ;)

-Jot

Nice 'ab' dude.....you should see if Milwaukee's Best will sponsor that orb

LOL. 'ab', I love it. He doesn't have a six-pack, it's more like a beer-ball. Which all the haters can suck, apparently.

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float , hammer , and jog

I just had my girlfriend look at his bedroom pic. She offered up her opinion on two things:

1. He def. has a gooch where his bean bag should be.....very pronounced clam
2. He would be much happier hunting men....just come on out

Maybe we can do a ST Dating Service thing, and hook Trash Talk up w/ the man of his dreams - SneakySpeed.
The Pistolero may have finally found his holster.

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float , hammer , and jog

TT - "Lonely head tube looking for well lubed fork"
SneakySpeed - "Have grease gun, will travel"

SneakySpeed is the keymaster to Trash Talk's gatekeeper. If we can somehow hook these two up with BottomFeeder.....

a clam??

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______________________________________
"Bros b4 Hos, man" House MD

Team Aquaphor 06-08

A bearded clam, not an LOL CLaM.

Dude I'm too embarrassed for you to even respond. Get out more.

I have a feeling this is how your Friday nights start out at the arcade: "Greetings Starfighter, you have been recruited by the Star League to defend the frontier against Zur and the Kodan Armada"

There is no Trash Talk - there is only Zul.

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float , hammer , and jog

The best threads are always when Don is gone for Interbike or something like that...

grasshopper the mysteries of love are sometimes not for everyone to understand. I the master do not assume but question

there are many different names for the forbidden garden... Clams are tasty though

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"Bros b4 Hos, man" House MD

Team Aquaphor 06-08

If you needed to google that quote, good work. If you didn't, YOU need to get out more. Great movie though.

Dude, this is not Don's world.

The fact that you know that salutation says a lot about you

peace

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"Bros b4 Hos, man" House MD

Team Aquaphor 06-08

my girlie and i were channel surfing sunday since it's been raining for about a month straight.....we watched a bit of that movie and freaking howled laughing. i remember seeing that in the theatre like it was yesterday....and lamely yes, i had to google

Was this before or after you showed her a picture of Trash Talk's junk? That is a classic Sunday. "What did you and your girlie do today? Oh, we watched the Last Starfighter then looked at Trash Talk's junk."

Hopefully you were inspired and ate at the Y. The Flux Capacitor, if you will.

showed her the pic of gay boy this morning before she left for work. sunday was the lame day on the couch....we could have kayaked down my freakin' street it was raining so hard. and back to the future ROCKED....damn i'm feeling nostalgia through the keyboard with these 80's flicks....

even better......we watched 'gross pointe blank' for about an hour.....now THAT was a great cult fim. cusack and co.....driver, arkin, akroyd, piven, azaria.....what a cast. freaking classic one liners every 2 minutes.

Your second pic made me think you are like 40, but then it didnt makes sense cause you come off as being more like 18. Also there is no freaking way you have 9.2% body fat.

Edit: Oh yeah sweet glasses

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__________________
Re: Why do people that can't swim try to do triathlon?

FJB: Not to mention the number of people that can't bike or run....

what junk?

Rumored to be Clam, not junk...

Yeah! I watched that DVD just last week! GREAT flick, funny as hell!

Love the guy playing the arcade game while they blow up the minimart around him... :D

John

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Top notch coaching: Francois and Accelerate3 | Follow on Twitter: LifetimeAthlete |

"Nice 'ab' dude.....you should see if Milwaukee's Best will sponsor that orb"

Why don't you post some of your recent race pics?

With a name like "ride2eat" I can imagine that you're really ripped.

I love this thread!

Were you the one wearing a swim skin for the 300yd swim? How did that work for you? Did you save enough time on the swim to make up for the time used taking it off?

This thread has aged like a fine wine. It just keeps giving.

He wore a speedsuit because apparently you save 20-30s per 100. But only with a 19.

"This thread has aged like a fine wine. It just keeps giving. "

Exactly...I've had to clean my screen a few times already....

http://www.raincitystory.com/flash/screenclean.swf

And he is down on Devlin big time on the HOTNESS poll, its really a one sided fight

Any guy who tries to say he never tried... is lying.

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"which is like watching one of your buddies announce that he's quitting booze and cigarettes, switching to a Vegan diet and training for triathalons ... but he's going to keep snorting heroin." Bill Simmons, ESPN

Why do dogs lick their balls? Because they can.

Heh, Dennis Miller did a skit on the craftmatic bed..."You ever think about buying the craftmatic bed just to see if you could blow yourself? I mean you get that vee going...i mean though, you suck your own dick, you've made a commitment! You're there in the morning saying 'what the hell was I thinking? I don't know where i've been...'"

John

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Top notch coaching: Francois and Accelerate3 | Follow on Twitter: LifetimeAthlete |

I think you guys hurt Trash Talk's feelings...he stopped posting pic's to prove you guys wrong.

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________________________________________________________________________
It's not how many years you have left in life, it's how much life you have left in your years!

We didn't do it, it's the absolute crushing he is receiving in the Womens poll on who is hotter, TrashTalk or Devlin. Devlin is so far ahead TrashTalk couldn't catch him wearing 7 speed suits....

Did Devlin post a pic? I can't remember anymore. Why on earth would a guy like that tell other guys on a web blog that is full of great athletes to post pic's to see whose hotter in the eyes of women???

"Fat and stupid is no way to go through life." Can anyone guess the movie?

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________________________________________________________________________
It's not how many years you have left in life, it's how much life you have left in your years!

It's fat, DRUNK, and stupid.....

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"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."
Hunter S. Thompson

How did I know that I had a correction coming...well this is ST :^)

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________________________________________________________________________
It's not how many years you have left in life, it's how much life you have left in your years!

got 'em!

Heh. That was one of Kevin Bacons first movies, if not THE first.

How nice that one of your first ever lines in a feature movie will always be "THANK YOU sir! May I have another?" ;-)

John

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Top notch coaching: Francois and Accelerate3 | Follow on Twitter: LifetimeAthlete |

For a while there, I thought this thread was going to end with this statement...

why did you think all the guys were going to go try?

I thought the thread ended there b/c there was this long silence. Hey, wait! Do you think they were trying?

Perhaps just me, but you seem to have abnormally small nipples?

Why is it that the biggest wingnuts here also happen to have the most regrettable tats? Coincidence? I think not.

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float , hammer , and jog

So are you saying that it was a bad idea to get the red M-Dot tat on my right palm?

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What if the Hokey Pokey is what it is all about?

I would say it's pretty bad that you don't know your right from your left. ;-)

Look at all the booze in front of me....wait...is that me? WeHers mah beeeR?

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What if the Hokey Pokey is what it is all about?

dang Chip, get that Chineesey Rolex off of your wrist...

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"you know, aero trumps training ;-) "
R10C 10/09

I wear Tag thanks....







(and, that is just some pic I found on line)

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What if the Hokey Pokey is what it is all about?

Yeah, Chip doesn't have that much hair... ;-)~

John

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Top notch coaching: Francois and Accelerate3 | Follow on Twitter: LifetimeAthlete |

Should Chip be entered in the Devlin vs Trash Talk sexy pic contest? Even if it isn't him in his picture post?

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________________________________________________________________________
It's not how many years you have left in life, it's how much life you have left in your years!

Chinesey Rolex is actually pronounced "Lolek".

And for what it's worth the guys that wear them usually buy the "dainty" models with the thin little bracelets , hilarious :)

Chees,

Terry

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"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream" - Les Brown
"Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment" - Jim Rohn

My keymaster is nicely holstered, thanks. Plus those two aren't really my type...

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Does anyone think it's funny that people post pictures of themselves here. Jeeeez I thought the bike posts were strange.