I don't understand, if you don't trust your kid with a smart phone then don't get them a smart phone. There will be no system the kids can't hack or find a go around.

Glad I raised 3 kids I could trust.

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Just Triing
Triathlete since 9:56:39 AM EST Aug 20, 2006.
Be kind English is my 2nd language. My primary language is Dave it's a unique evolution of English.

Best option is a dumb phone with no texting.

Out of the options you presented, I'd go Apple. With Android it is a little easier to side load apps that you don't approve. Turn on app store to make you enter a password, and make it hard, not something they can guess.

Once you have the phone, load Norton Family on it. https://family.norton.com/web/

IMO, apple has the best ecosystem as you call it. I'd consider an older generation iphone and install Disney's Circle on it. You can manage time on apps, time surfing, blocking stuff, etc. I don't know if you can watch "everything" he does but it is a strong start. The other key is to always know his icloud and phone password.

But better than any of this advice, the best thing you can do is sit down with your wife and discuss what your biggest concerns are with the phone. Then take those concerns to your child, create a reasonable contract regarding phone behavior and then stick to it.

I don't any experience with Android so can't comment on it. Were an iPhone household. We've been happy with the parental controls and think they've worked well. Have a few things slipped by, sure, but we usually catch it pretty quick. One thing I did for each kid though was load their Apple ID onto an old iPhone or iPod touch. By doing so every email and text iMessage is sent to that device as well and they can't erase it. When they were old enough to have Safari on their phones the backup device also captured their Safari history through iCloud. Oh, and under no circumstances give them access/permission to buy and load apps on the device, including in app purchases.

I also use the apple ecosystem. Can't speak for the android one.

We have had a good experience using the parental controls. I have locked their phones down so they only have phone functions and our parent approved apps. No browsers etc (heck, you can lock out camera), they are not about to install apps (and when I do open that up they can can't install without approval (it asks for approve/reject on my phone), they are unable to turn off GPS tracking, their phones also include my fingerprint so I can "logon" anytime I need to to, ie to check their messages etc.

Plus I able to limit which apps work with data and which ones only work with WIFI.

We also setup a "charging station" in our familyroom that ALL of our kids electronics need to be plugged in everynight, ie to keep them out of the bedrooms to allow kids to go to sleep.

All of it induced some grumbling as we instituted them, but all the complaining eventually died down and it is just habit and the way its done in our house now.

I am forced to have Apple for work, my wife and son both have Samsung. If I had my choice I'd go Samsung. The ability to increase storage size without buying a new phone is huge. My 12 year old son has a Samsung Galazy J3, finally got his first phone this summer. We don't manage/watch EVERYTHING he does. We trust him to make the right decision and so far he has. We have access to his phone at all times and now and again we check it. We see every app he buys. His phone is a second line on my wife's account which works out great. He knows that it is about trust and knows not to be stupid or he loses the phone.

Unless your child has proven to not be trustworthy, sometimes it is best to give them trust up front and allow them to grow up without 100% parental supervision.

still trying to figure out why a kid needs a phone? are they checking their stocks? paying the electric bill? making a credit card payment? I don't know how I ever made it through college without a cell phone.

Agreed. I have data limits on my kids phones so I don't get overage charges but don't monitor their every move. It's impossible to do and breeds mistrust in my opinion. Better to teach than control.

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Don't hold back