my fav is "just hurry up"

My wife saw a picture of me from 10 yrs ago wearing shorts and a t-shirt then looked at me and asked, "what happened?"

Amazing how these little comments stick with you. I cannot even imagine the hell id be living in if I ever said such a thing.

Exactly what I was thinking as i read through this thread.

After 25 years of marriage, things have sagged here and there on me, and on my spouse as well. My spouse seems to feel it is OK to point this out to me fairly regularly. I'm not real bright, but I know enough to keep my mouth shut on the subject.

Relational asymmetry.

The double standards that apply in this situation are rather remarkable.

It could be subtle like "Hey we should go shopping for some black shoes" indicating a dissatisfaction with my attire to something more personal like "I prefer your dad with a light beard" yet complain I scratch her face when I kiss. Granted I don't consider myself to be particularly good looking and my bone structure is not the greatest for a clean shaven look, but at 42 my body is still cut, whereas she is a good 30-40lb off where she should be.

People in glass houses and all that.

You guys are weak.

When my wife and I had been dating for maybe a year, I quipped that if she ever got fat, I'd dump her. I was half joking, and what I meant was if she ever let herself go I'd be far less attracted to her. Obviously as we age and have kids our bodies go downhill, but one of her most attractive features is her fire and how hard she works at her fitness. If she just gave up trying or lost interest in sport, it would be a game changer for me.

Anyways, fast forward nearly 10 years and every time I eat a big burger or skip a workout it's "don't slack off too much, lest you get too fat and I'm forced to kick your ass to the curb" usually followed by something like "at least that extra cushioning on your ass will help cushion the blow".

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Long Chile was a silly place.

Your husband is a lucky man ; )

Ha! What can I say, I married a red headed nurse from Tasmania. She's feisty.

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Long Chile was a silly place.

And wears the pants

You know Taswegians are the Aussie equivalent to Newfies?

Who are you calling weak? You're the slob who let themselves go in their 30's, posting slow HM's; and you have the fit wife. What tough choice have you had to make? Talk about riding the gravy train!

I say all that with love.

Nope. Maybe a strong woman might push you around, but we actually have a very level partnership. I've got friends who actually have to ask their wives for permission to do stuff with their friends or spend money on things for themselves. I'm not one of those guys.

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Long Chile was a silly place.

Yeah yeah, I know about the Tassies. In fairness, her parents lived all over Australia, and happened to be in tas when she was born. They lived in Melbourne shortly after for a couple years, then moved to the US, then Canada.

And I hear you on being the slob in my thirties. I've definitely noticed a decrease in the number of my friend's wives who are lusting after me these days!

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Long Chile was a silly place.

Yeah you don't ask because she'll say no.

Ha! At least if I don't ask, I can avoid the physical abuse, for the most part.

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Long Chile was a silly place.

like just hurry up we are going to be late for dinner or...just hurry up and finish and get off me?

I swear my wife asks me to do ten things a day. Can you move the dog cage, grass is getting a little long, etc. Someone should do a study on the ratio what women ask their men to do vs the opposite. What do you think the ratio is. I know what the answer to questions like, "Does this look okay is" ... LOOKS GREAT HONEY.

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They constantly try to escape from the darkness outside and within
Dreaming of systems so perfect that no one will need to be good T.S. Eliot

In depth study: years of research went into this


Women...countless tasks and to do's on a daily basis. Half of which they will change their minds on anyway so asking man is just pointless anyway.


Men...let's have sex

This morning. Honey can you take the dog out. (I was up late trying to sleep in, she has had 8 solid hours). Ok. Honey can you make sure one of the girls come back at lunch to let the dog out. (It was her idea to get the dog. BTW I like the dog) Ok. Okay so I've done that she is on her way out the door as I am trying to get back to sleep. Honey can you move the plant pots from the garage to the porch. (The ones that weigh about 80 pds solid concrete). Ahh Okay. Next thing is I am asked why I am in a bad mood. What?

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They constantly try to escape from the darkness outside and within
Dreaming of systems so perfect that no one will need to be good T.S. Eliot

 
I got married at 24, she was 22. A year or two into it we are visiting a buddy of mine while he is going to grad school. She retires back to his apartment early while we continue to try to kill ourselves at all the local watering holes. We are finishing up at a bar that is on the ground floor of his apartment building, wife is asleep on the 4th floor.

Group of 5-6 of us guys sitting at a table drinking. Waitress comes over with a lemon drop shot and hands it to me. No way in hell I ordered a lemon drop so I ask her what the deal is. She points to two girls at a table across the bar and says they bought it for me. As I am looking over to see who bought the shot they are motioning me over to their table. I go over and say thanks for the shot, they are both flirting pretty hard core. I say, thanks but I am married and show them the ring. One looks me dead in the eye and says "yeah, we saw that, but we were hoping you might be looking to cheat." I picked my jaw up off the floor and said no thanks, I did offer up one of my single buddies at the table but they declined. I returned to my table and they left the bar.

My buddies were a bit jealous but congratulated me. We were reliving the tale the next day with my wife, she wouldn't believe the story at first until everyone confirmed it. Then she looks at me with a hint of disgust and says "who would buy you a shot? You look so... old and married."

Cut me real deep with that one. 6 years later and it is still the running joke. When she gets dressed up for me to take her out and asks how she looks I say good, but not good enough for anyone to buy you a shot!