Good on you for starting this dialog and starting to move forward.

Start training tomorrow -- or even with a walk tonight. Walking is good training and, like other training, helps clear your mind and motivate you in other areas.

I tend to think that your specific questions might be best answered by a career counseling professional. Get some name in your area pronto and start talking.

It really is true when they say, "for every door that closes, another one opens." Have cheer -- something good is coming if you start opening doors.

Best wishes to you.

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It doesn't really matter what Phil is saying, the music of his voice is the appropriate soundtrack for a bicycle race. HTupolev

If you could travel to one place right now where would you go to be happy? I don't think sitting around with four walls closing in on you is a healthy way to decide what you want to be when you grow up. Do something that even from your depressed perspective sounds like it could be fun. Go see some friends you miss, visit the Pyramids, build a table, take some classes that interest you, something that will lift your spirits. Another thing to think about is how do you limit yourself? What are the negative thoughts that keep you bound? What chance are you afraid to take?

Then start at the basics. A buddy of mine from India once taught me knowing what you don't want is as important as knowing what you want. Start there. Do you want regular hours? To sit in a cubicle? To travel? Lots of money? A family? Do you want responsibility? These are basic question that can help lay the foundation for your future. I've been where you are and I am never going back. You can be in much better shape than you are today but it's all up to you. Get off your butt and start living the life you deserve.

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"The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do."

If you're in IT, have you considered becoming a Business Analyst or maybe getting into testing? When I'm not a bike fitter, my day job is IT. I was a developer for about 11 years, a BA for 8, and now have become a QA, and was hired because of my background. Being a BA is great, as it lets me do what I enjoy the most - work with people who need solutions to their business challenges. Being a QA is also great because I feel like I'm helping to improve the solutions before they go out the door.

If you can afford to "semi-retire" for a few months, maybe take up something completely different. I had a big contract end suddenly in early 2016, and I took my time finding a new gig. The first week I was off, I was out at F.I.S.T. with Slowman and his crew, which was already planned but perfect timing. It was a really good place to be. I spent the next few months doing a ton of bike fitting, working part time at a local bike shop, and working as a substitute teacher. I landed the QA gig after 4 months. The money during my semi-retirement wasn't great, but it was very rewarding on many levels. I was a student of life. I felt like it took me to a better place as a person, and it's a time I'll look back on with nothing but happy thoughts - I met some really great, interesting people of all ages and walks of life and did some neat things with them. I don't know if those people will ever realize how much I appreciate their contribution to my life.

Anyway, I don't know if I'm contributing anything here. I guess maybe a little hiatus to let you get to know you could help you feel a bit better about yourself, too. Turn your rut into a groove. I know this will sound cliche, but hang in there - it will get better! Sometimes, I think we get too wrapped up in trying to find our place on this big rock by looking in the same place.

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Travis Rassat
Vector Cycle Works
Noblesville, IN
BikeFit Instructor | FMS | F.I.S.T. | IBFI
Toughman Triathlon Series Ambassador

You said that your worked with databases and liked learning about C. Have you considered becoming a database developer?


I am a programmer and I work mostly with Microsoft products. If you like databases, I suggest learning Microsoft SQL Server as, in my opinion, it offers one of quickest way to find a good job in IT. Microsoft offers various certifications for SQL Server and for some of the employers they are as valuable as an IT college degree. You can become a MCSA (Microsoft Certified Solution Associate) Database Developer in 2 to 3 months at a total cost of about $300 (2x$120 for the exams + 2x$30 for the books).
The job market is pretty good right now, as there are hundreds of jobs as a SQL Server Developer on pretty much any major job search engine.

As others have already suggested, start training as soon as you can. For me, a 30 minutes run is the best cure for when I feel low.

Best of luck to you!

I had always had a job and it always seemed that I didn't have to look for promotions that I was usually approached by someone about a promotion. Well that changed when the real estate market took a hit in 2007. I'm a civil engineer and for the first time in my short 11 year career I was out of work. At first I wasn't too worried about it but after going days without a return call or an email from a job I applied for it really started to get to me. I didn't even want to turn on the computer or check my email. I didn't realize how quick I went from being my normal self to going to really being depressed. All I can say is make yourself workout anyway and be around other people. Maybe volunteer with Habitat for Humanity (or any program). It's just as important, if not more, that we take care of our mental health as it is our physical health. I know this is easier said than done. Good luck to you.

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http://timeoutdoors.blogspot.com/
Photo Blog - App Trail Thru Hike March - Sept 2009

Travel to places always desired and volunteer for an organization that can benefit from your skills.

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_____________________________________
DISH is how we do it.

I second travelmama's suggestion to volunteer. It feels good to be useful. If you are good with data, maybe you could tutor math at a local school.

Also, get out and exercise - you can walk, it doesn't have to be swim or bike or run. Or do pushups or lift weights. Commit to 10 minutes.

You could combine the two by volunteering at an animal shelter and walking dogs.

Keep us updated. Depression is really rough.

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maybe she's born with it, maybe it's chlorine
If you're injured and need some sympathy, PM me and I'm very happy to write back.
disclaimer: PhD not MD

I gather you're single? Or at least you don't mention having a SO; if so, where does s/he fit into the picture? If single, is that by design or coincidence? My brother is clearly miserable being alone, but pretty much doesn't take any kind of action to get back in the game and only complains about it, as though some gal will eavesdrop and then offer herself to him out of pity.

The job front sounds tough and others have weighed in on that, but I'm surprised there's no mention of any other factors on the home front (not to go all PeterP about relationships and all...) as it's hard to completely compartmentalize the personal and professional. Perhaps getting your mojo up in that arena will carry over to your career outlook...?

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"They've done studies, ya know... 60% of the time, it works EVERY time."

I don’t know. But 15 years ago I was in a similar situation. ..with five kids at home...Med insurance payments were insane...took a major chunk out of my 401k. Unemployed 18 months. Started a shrub pruning business, made campy style furniture and sold it at the farmers market. Gave swimming lessons at a local school. Did all kinds of odd jobs. It was freaky.
1. ya get some fresh air.
2. no matter how good or BAD you feel..water makes you feel better, fucking cry yourself to a lake or pool or something and flop in. just float ,hang out as long as possible ..osmosis is powerful.
3. try a small job you always wanted to try...making donuts, selling something...whatever.
4. Volunteer. I got some challenged kids to swim that wouldn’t even go in the water...totally rewarding
5. outsource your talents ..put something on Craigslist
eat spicy food, watch your drinking, talk out loud to yourself
I was cross country skiing on a trail a week ago that might have been a bit much for me at the time..I said out loud to myself “ come on you pussy, let's fucking do this” ..and kept skiing.
TV sucks , it’ll really fuck you up.
Watch a Mustangchef Video...they are dumb as hell and will make you feel sorry for me.
Good luck , this is the right group of people to be around. Except duffy hahahahaha

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sometimes

Thanks for your reply. I do believe that there i are silver linings to be discovered. I will start with a walk today. It is minus ten degrees out so that should surely help clear my head... But yes, I need to start knocking on doors otherwise people won't know I am looking.

That's great to see. Remember that you are never alone. For all the crap and BS that goes on in this forum there are truly kind people here that give a damn about you and others. Reach out as many times as you need. We're pulling for you.

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"The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do."

How was your walk?

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maybe she's born with it, maybe it's chlorine
If you're injured and need some sympathy, PM me and I'm very happy to write back.
disclaimer: PhD not MD

What the other person said about database programming. If you can walk and chew gum and know how to write decent stored procedures or do DB administration finding a job will be fairly easy.

Set yourself do to items that are easily achievable - write them down and tick them off once you do them. If things are really tough, then celebrate getting out of bed and having a shower. Write it down as a do to, tick it off once done and tell yourself "Good job!" You got out for a walk today - write that down as a to do and check it as done.

Small things can help build momentum. When I was out of work and struggling to stay motivated I would make small goals like connecting with three people on LinkedIn. It was easy and helped build my network without being stressful and depressing. Lots of little things build up over time and the lots of little successes can really help your state of mind.

Best of luck!

Have you considered talking to a professional. I was a bit of a depressed basket case in my early 40's after a divorce and a few other problems. I talked to a psychologist only a few times but it was very helpful.

If anything, getting back on that bamboo bike of yours and riding for the pleasure and enjoyment should be a good form of therapy.

Best answer...except for watching videos (unless they are online training courses).....

Same boat..canned without notice right before Christmas. Second time round in 6 years.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Unsolicited advice (directed at me):

Get out and connect with other human beings.
Take classes/outings/training where you physically have to show....ON TIME.

Be THANKFUL and SMILE about the fact that you are somewhat healthy, safe from physical harm, starvation and war. GIVE back.

Most important:

Stay off psych meds and recreational drugs of any kind...seriously!

Continue to connect like this, talk with real people/family & friends, volunteer, quiet time to plan and reflect, exercise helps mental clarity/ endorphin, avoid junk food & cut back on carbs ( i noticed bulletproof coffee, butter and mct oil was a big help), self inventory on your assets, passions, weaknesses and you try each day to get better. We have all been there in varying degrees...best wishes.

I had a bit of a slow week though I finally managed a walk today. It was only about 30 minutes, but better than nothing!
I will get another one done tomorrow.

Physical activity releases serotonin which elevates your mood. Keep at it.