I've been there too and I am sorry to hear your news.

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"The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do."

Tom, I am really sorry. We have been through this a number of times and have had to put down a lab due to cancer as well. I would be spending less time with that person for sure. I think that comment provides great insight in to that person on many levels and none of it is positive. Try not to let it get to you and write it off.

Again, sorry for your loss :(

Tom,

Sorry to hear about this situation...that is very sad indeed. And, this time leading up to it is esecially difficult because you know what lies ahead. No doubt about it, this is the kind of thing that can be sad for a long time. i feel ya.

Also, in regards to the asshole who said that about your situation, I would chalk that up as a big indicator of who he is. What kind of person says "big deal, i would care more about the car" to a person who has their heart on the sleeve over a story like this? What kind of person offers no support or kind words when the other is obviously upset over something like this? Instead he offers mean and cold hearted words that feel like an indirect attack on you and your wife. What kind of person feels nothing towards pets? Has he never felt love for anything but himself?

I think that fellow told you alot about himself during that conversation. If he's heartless toward your pet of 15 years...who knows what else he is heartless about. If he feels nothing over this story, then what is he capable of? This might be jumping to conclusions, but I would know not to trust that person--with anything.

It's one thing to not appreciate pets, but you told him how much your wife will be upset, what the cat means, and he felt nothing about that. it seems he has an emotional disconnect somewhere and that is a good thing for you to know about him.

like I said, maybe i'm too jugemental, but I think you're dealing with a person who has bigger personality problems. if it were me, i would keep an eye on him. maybe this is a clue that he's a 1 in 8.

best to you and your wife,

KC

Sorry for your loss...I hate to even think about loosing my dog...

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What if the Hokey Pokey is what it is all about?

Sorry about your loss also!!!!

I swear, I tend to care more about animals that people.

I'm sorry to hear you have to let go of your kitty. It really sucks - I'm sure its the right thing. I felt terrible when my sister had to put down her cat a couple of months ago as he was really sick and stuck in a hospital surrounded by people he didn't know and cats he didn't know.

As for the moron who cares more about a car, well, its hard to judge. Some people just don't care about animals/pets. And I don't fault them for it. My gf was raised on a farm, and as much as she loves animals, she has a very solid line about what kind of care pets should receive. (ie if they're sick, put them down. period.) Of course, at the same time, she's hassling me to get a kitten (I on the other hand want a -plug-and-play-already-housetrained adult cat)... go figure. I'd love to kick this guy but seriously, he'll never understand how pets can be treated like people.

Thanks for the kind words from you all. It's going to very strange. When I met my wife Max (our kitty) was just about a year old so he's been part of our enitre relationship from our first date until now: 3 years of dating and 11 years of marriage. I don't know a life with my wife without him somewhere in the picture.

I have no problem with people not "getting it" when it comes to pets. I just resent it when they try to make you look like an ass for having strong feelings about a pet.

Thanks again. This week is going to suck knowing he's going to be gone at the end of the week. In case you're wondering why we're waiting a week. He has terminal cancer in his head that is causing pain, the moraphine patch makes him feel great but he can only be on it for about 7 days maximum. So we figured we'd give hime one heck of a week, moraphine, cat nip, tuna, and whatever else he'll eat.

Take care and thanks again.

Tom

I have no problem with people not "getting it" when it comes to pets.

I guess it depends on what your perspective of "getting it" is - for me, deechee's girlfriend, and many other like-minded folks, it seems that those who want to prolong sick animals' lives don't "get it". When one of our dog's wasn't reacting well to a few of the epilepsy drugs we gave him, bam, dead, then we adopted another stray who was healthy and would have otherwise been put down. My son loved his old dog, and he loves his new dog.

I agree, your friend should have followed the mother's rule: if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

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kangaroo -- please do not read or respond to any of my posts

I agree completely. We found out about his cancer and when we found out he has no chance of survival and is in pain, without the patch, we knew now is time, even though we'd love to keep him around as long as possible. The thing is the doctor told us he's probably been in pain for a week or two. He said some cats are very good at hiding it. That was not good news.

The nice thing is that now that he's on the moraphine patch, he's like a kitten. It's cool to see him running around and stuff even though we know it's very temporary and drug induced.

Maybe I've realized throughout the day why I did post this. It's been nice way to talk about it.

I'm also sorry to hear about your loss. I have a pet bird (blue front amazon) and he will outlive me - they average 80 years and he's only 6 or 7. So I understand why you feel this way. BUT - you should keep in mind that a - this guy doesn't know your cat personally, so it's easy for him to make a snap comment like that and b - some poeple say things like that to lighten the mood. It sounds more like he was making a joke about the car. I wouldn't take it too personally. Also - a lot of people don't like cats (they eat birds - my pet)!

I wasn't pissed that he didn't care about my cat. What bothered me about his comment was that he knows how much of a pet person my wife is and I told him this is going to devestate her.

please keep your bird away from my old dog, Sugar. my son's first parakeet didn't fare too well ;-)

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kangaroo -- please do not read or respond to any of my posts

That's different. He's a prick.

Your dog vs. my bird would be a good fight. Your dog would probably win, but my bird has spilled a lot of my blood over the years! He's a tough bastard with sharp claws and a powerful beak.

I understand your feelings exactly. 1 1/2 weeks ago we had to put down our little Lhasa Apso. She was 12, but very sick with kidney disease, liver disease, diabetes, blindness. The vet said he could throw the book at her (intervenous antibio's and fliuds) and keep her in the hospital under close watch. 50-50 chance that she would've made it. But it would only happen again in another 4-6 months. My wife and I held her while he injected her. I cried big, heaving gasps of heartache and tears as within 3 seconds she just lolled over and was gone. My wife was crying. The VET was crying! I cried spuriously for the next two days, thinking coulda, shouda, woulda - If ONLY this or that, she'd still be alive. Lifer goes on. Death is a part of life. When we cling too tightly to things that were, but are no more, we don't grow and develop and set ourselves up for frustration and depression.

Our new lover boy fresh from 4 days in the slammer!



"Obladi oblada life goes on bra
Lala how the life goes on
Obladi oblada life goes on bra
Lala how the life goes on."

Losing a pet is awful. Those who don't understand the attachement to pets are not worth trying to convince of anything related to the attachement. They need to experience it. Some never can, and don't care to either.

My dog died in April and I still cannot sleep thought the night. And I have another dog to accompany my wife and i to bed each night, just as he has for the past 11 year.

I was a sophomore in college when my mother wrote me a letter (1982) to tell me that my 10 year old cat Zeke had to be put down. I was in the lobby of my dorm and I sat on a chair and cried for 10 minutes. The cat slept on my bed every night for 10 years.

Pets are great. Losing them sucks. Time will heal things, but you'll never convince someone without an attachment to pets what the lssf of one means. Hang in there.

Tom,

"Don't be sorry it is over, be glad that it happened."

Nothing anyone can say is going to make you or your wife feel better, only time can do that. A new puppy speeds up the process, I have found. Not a replacement, but a fresh start.

Non-pet owners don't get it, "What's the deal, it's just a dog..." It is their loss. It doesn't make them a bad person necessarily, but it certainly moves them towards that end of the spectrum in my book.

The difference in lifespans between pets and humans is the sad deal you sign onto when you get a dog or cat.

The trick is not to spoil 'em:

Last night our vet came to our house and put our little guy to sleep. It was done in our bedroom on his favorite pillow. He was calm and peaceful and left this world comfortable, not scared, and with dignity and no fear. For you pet owners, if you have the oppurtunity to have your vet come to your house when the time comes I really recommend it. It was very peaceful.

I woke up this morning and for the first time in 15 years I was tripping over Max as he tried to beat me to the kitchen. It's going to be kind of strange for a few days.

Anyway, thanks for reading and thanks for all the kind words. There's clearly a lot of caring, compassionate folks here at ST.

Tom

Sorry to hear that you lost your pet, but good to hear it was as peaceful as possible. When I was about 15 or so, the cat I had had since I was 5 or 6 got sick and when she finally died it was while she was lying in my lap on the way to the vet. It was sad, but peaceful as well. She just went to sleep. I've always had animals (dogs or cats or both) and pets provide a companionship that is unconditional. Right now I have a cat that I kept when I got divorced and she's my companion at home. I'm in the Navy and my ship has had a weird schedule with a lot of underway time so I took her to stay with my parents. It's very weird when I am at home because ever since she was a kitten she's had a little bell on her collar that would jingle a little when she runs around. The house sounds really quiet without that sound. It's going to be a similar thing for you. It will certainly take some adjustment. Best of luck.

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Slowguy

(insert pithy phrase here...)

Tom --

I'm sorry for your loss. The loss of a pet ... a family member ... is as profound a loss as you could experience. You never get over it, but you do move on. Eventually. I can't imagine the emptiness in my life without my 3 dogs and 2 cats.

My wife is a veterinarian and situations like yours were the second hardest part of the job ... emothionally draining. Euthanasia was the right choice, carrying, loving and merciful ... but it is so hard to say goodbye. But not saying goodbye would be the selfish thing to do.

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*****
"In case of flood climb to safety"

Tom

I am so, so sorry.

We had a scare with our Kitty last month and he is like my son - we have no kids.

You sound like a wonderful person and when the time is right - I know that you and your wife will welcome a new pet (hopefully a kitty) into your life and although the new pet will never replace your guy, it will help with the healing and start a new chapter.

I have had to put down endless cats and dogs over the past 36 years - all personal pets.

You could not have been more caring for your kitty and that my friend is truly admirable.

Here's hoping your weekend is not filled with too much sadness

AJ

This has been posted before, I believe, but it is appropriate to post again

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Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

Tom, Sorry for you loss but it sounds like you had 15 great years:) I am glad it was peaceful for you and for him. Hang in there.

Sorry to hear about your loss. It's never easy to let them go, even when you know they're hurting like that.