Well, there’s one way to find out...
Civilize the mind, but make savage the body.
- Chinese proverb
Civilize the mind, but make savage the body.
- Chinese proverb
Lavender Room
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Re: Best/most creative insult you've received [OneGoodLeg]
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Re: Best/most creative insult you've received [Duffy]
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This story is much better in person, but when I first moved to San Francisco I went for my first ride across the GG bridge and had a blast. Arriving back in the city I was all geared up in one of my more obnoxiously colored kits and on a steep climb when I saw a very dirty looking homeless man on the curb staring at me. This guy was pushing a grocery cart full of junk, wearing a sweatshirt that was 2-3 sizes too small for him so his beer belly stuck out of the bottom,ripped pants, etc. Definitely homeless, and a sad one at that.
He made a full-stop from pushing his cart just to look at me. We're the only two people in sight, so I gave him a few extra feet of space on the road. As I pass he takes a BIG stretch with his arms up in the air and chest out. Mid-yawn, with me only a few feet away from him, he yells: "Ahhhhhhhh WHAT A DORK!!!"
I nearly fell off my bike laughing at the situation
He made a full-stop from pushing his cart just to look at me. We're the only two people in sight, so I gave him a few extra feet of space on the road. As I pass he takes a BIG stretch with his arms up in the air and chest out. Mid-yawn, with me only a few feet away from him, he yells: "Ahhhhhhhh WHAT A DORK!!!"
I nearly fell off my bike laughing at the situation
Re: Best/most creative insult you've received [cbr shadow]
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Master swim used to be at a local high school before school started. A couple of us in our mid thirties were in the locker room showering when a bunch of high school kids come in to hang out before classes start. A couple of the kids see us and I hear one of them say.." who are the naked old guys in here."
Re: Best/most creative insult you've received [cbr shadow]
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cbr shadow wrote:
Mid-yawn, with me only a few feet away from him, he yells: "Ahhhhhhhh WHAT A DORK!!!""You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows" - Bob Dylan
Yep, even a hobo knows a dork when he sees one
"What's your claim?" - Ben Gravy
"Your best work is the work you're excited about" - Rick Rubin
Re: Best/most creative insult you've received [wimsey]
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A friend on mine just replied to a post on Facebook of another friend running a marathon. There was a pic at the start and one at the end. She said, eye of the tiger, then the pic at the end, eye of a boiled fish!
Re: Best/most creative insult you've received [wimsey]
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"What creative insults have you received? "
1) You're not in too bad shape - for an old guy.
2) I hope I'm still as active when I get to your age, if I live that long.
3) Bet the chicks thought you were cool way back then. But I guess they're not young either any more.
1) You're not in too bad shape - for an old guy.
2) I hope I'm still as active when I get to your age, if I live that long.
3) Bet the chicks thought you were cool way back then. But I guess they're not young either any more.
Re: Best/most creative insult you've received [cerveloguy]
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Best one I've heard used in a office setting was "this is why everyone talks about you."
My buddy broke out chinless weasel last time he was in town.
My buddy broke out chinless weasel last time he was in town.
Re: Best/most creative insult you've received [Duffy]
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I was once threatened with “I’m gonna skull fuck ya”.
Dude was a bad ass, and his intimidation tactic worked on 18 year old 143 lb me
Dude was a bad ass, and his intimidation tactic worked on 18 year old 143 lb me
Re: Best/most creative insult you've received [RandMart]
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RandMart wrote:
Duffy wrote:
We have a local half marathon that is absolutely brutal. Starts at sea level and ends at 4,000 feet. It goes by my house at about mile 1.
I put on a Mexican wrestler costume and yell discouraging things to the participants as they go by.
I tell them they should quit, they aren’t going to make it, it’s all up hill.
I tell them that they’re ugly.
Almost everyone loves it.
You gotta do it right
Quote:
We jumped off the radio van at Wilbur's and immediately set up a full wet-bar and Command Center next to the curb and for the next few minutes we just stood there in the rain and heaped every conceivable kind of verbal abuse on the Runners coming up. "You're doomed, man, you'll never make it."
"Hey, fat boy, how about a beer?"
"Run, you silly bastard."
"Lift those legs."
"Eat shit and die," was Skinner's favorite.
One burly runner in the front ranks snarled back at him, "I'll see you on the way back."
"No, you won't. You'll never make it back. You won't even finish! You'll collapse."
It was a rare kind of freedom to belch any kind of cruel and brutal insult that came to mind because the idea of anybody stopping to argue was out of the question. Here was this gang of degenerates hunkered down by the side of the racecourse with TV sets, beach umbrellas, cases of beer and whiskey, loud music and wild women, smoking cigarettes.
HST, The Curse of Lono, 1980
Apropos of nothing, I'm proud to report that I'd never read that HST passage before but I recognized its author immediately.
War is god
Re: Best/most creative insult you've received [wimsey]
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just today...
Wife: I need your help... hands me bottle of bbq sauce
Me: Opens bottle of BBQ sauce easily and says jokingly: "You need a bigger penis"
Wife: No, I already have yours, I'll make do...
Wife: I need your help... hands me bottle of bbq sauce
Me: Opens bottle of BBQ sauce easily and says jokingly: "You need a bigger penis"
Wife: No, I already have yours, I'll make do...
Re: Best/most creative insult you've received [MLCRISES]
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MLCRISES wrote:
I was once threatened with “I’m gonna skull fuck ya”. Dude was a bad ass, and his intimidation tactic worked on 18 year old 143 lb me
I say that to Mrs. Duffy.
It’s not an insult.
Civilize the mind, but make savage the body.
- Chinese proverb
Re: Best/most creative insult you've received [Perseus]
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Perseus wrote:
Best one I've heard used in a office setting was "this is why everyone talks about you." My buddy broke out chinless weasel last time he was in town.
Those are both pretty solid.
Re: Best/most creative insult you've received [wimsey]
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Don't post here much but thought this was a good one. When I was 15 yrs old (1985) I went to a tennis match with some buddies to see John McEnroe v. Some unknown guy in an early round. We had box seats right next to the court and could practically touch the players. McEnroe was beating the other guy rather badly and it was going to be a very quick match. After the first set ended with John winning 6-0, my buddies and I started cheering for the underdog. McEnroe clearly noticed and I think it bothered him. After he lost a close line call and argued with the judge, he looked right at me, noticed how pleased I was with the call...and in disgust shouted "you're going to grow up to be a f'n garbage man kid!". We all looked at each other in the box and laughed our asses off. We cheered on McEnroe for the rest of the match!
Re: Best/most creative insult you've received [Solar]
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Nice! Getting yelled at by McEnroe is a badge of honor.
It's funny, if I saw a professional athlete today behaving the way McEnroe did back in the day, I'd probably disapprove of the behavior pretty strongly, but I have a certain nostalgic affection for McEnroe and his antics.
It's funny, if I saw a professional athlete today behaving the way McEnroe did back in the day, I'd probably disapprove of the behavior pretty strongly, but I have a certain nostalgic affection for McEnroe and his antics.
wimsey wrote:
Nice! Getting yelled at by McEnroe is a badge of honor.Is it really, though? I mean...he yelled at EVERYBODY. Who didn't he yell at? I half expect him to yell at his cohost when he's commentating.
wimsey wrote:
It's funny, if I saw a professional athlete today behaving the way McEnroe did back in the day, I'd probably disapprove of the behavior pretty strongly, but I have a certain nostalgic affection for McEnroe and his antics.
It was barely tolerated BACK THEN.