I accidentally bandited a local 10k once. I knew the route went through the neighborhood adjacent to mine, and down the multi-use path I frequently run on. I was planning to do my own short run, and, knowing it was "Kirby Derby Day," checked online for the start time. Website says 10:00. I think "no problem, it's 9:10. I'll be back home by the time they hit the entrance to 'the Chimneys,' they won't be in my way, nor will I be in theirs. I'll run my usual route" When I went across the main road into the next neighborhood, I was surprised to see and aid station already set up. The workers started cheering me. Apparently the race actually started at 9, and they all thought I was the leader. A little farther down the way, I got my "5k split" read to me, and advice that "there's a guy behind you, and he's closing fast" (i.e. the real race leader). A more honorable person would have made an impromptu route change and gotten out of the way, but I was a little ticked that they had the start time wrong so I stuck to my route. And I'm not gonna lie, I took a water at the next aid station. It was a hot, sticky day, OK? Besides, the unexpected audience resulted in my outrunning my targeted RPE. If they think you're winning, you at least have to look like you're trying hard, right? I didn't follow the course all the way to the end, though, so I didn't eat any unearned cookies, granola bars, or bananas. I did have fun the next Monday telling all my friends how I was leading the Kirby Derby at the 5k mark.

I also swam an open water race and a couple swim meets while taking sudafed for seasonal allergies, before I was aware it was on the WADA list as a banned substance for competition.

So which one of the levels of hell am I going to have to go to?

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"They're made of latex, not nitroglycerin"