So sorry to hear about this.
We are all rooting for you and your wife. Wishing for a full recovery.
Remember to take care of yourself too.
Saturday was 3 weeks. She is now very active, moving her left side, trying to push her self up in bed or in the chair, and kicking her sheet and hospital gown on the floor (that last one was a shock for my kids). Friday I signed the paperwork to transfer her to a rehab facility. The hospital called me this morning and told me she was released, they were just waiting on the receiving facility to give the OK.
I started seeing overdraft notices in her email so I went to her bank. I spoke to the branch manager, showed him her ID, credit and debit cards, and a canceled check and explained the situation. TDBank, at least that branch, is very helpful and understanding. She had $1000/60 day overdraft protection. I paid the overdraft and then asked how I can manage this account without being able to see the balance or transactions. He said I couldnāt, but if I called the 800 number from her phone I could report the account compromised and they would lock it down until she came in the branch and reopen it, or I have a court document that allowed me to do it. The account is now locked. She will probably get a phone call (that will go to voice mail), then an email, and finally a bill in the mail. Once I get a paper bill I can manage the rest.
I have an appointment tomorrow with family court to request to be assigned as my wifeās guardian. My lawyer says it is just a formality, but it is another time where I get to be reminded that Iām her only advocate. Her life, welfare, everything, is entirely on me.
The hardest part of this entire event is being alone. Iām now the chief cook and bottle washer. It takes me an entire hour to get out of the house in the morning now, when I took about 20 minutes. The cats have not accepted me as their primary human, not that I care much, but now they are lonely.
In case you are wondering, I have not missed a day of work since this started. I have left early, come in late, and disappeared in the middle of the day a few times, but I am still running the show. My administrative assistant has started acting like my mother and telling me to take a break, etc. We have been together for years, so Iām ok with that.
Jack, thank you for the report. Iām so glad to see positive news.
Sheās going to make a recovery. It wonāt be easy but sheās going to do it.
Keep doing what you are doing. Youāre doing a good job of holding it all together.
At times like this work can be good therapy.
Jack, thank you for the report. Iām so glad to see positive news.
Sheās going to make a recovery. It wonāt be easy but sheās going to do it.
Keep doing what you are doing. Youāre doing a good job of holding it all together.
At times like this work can be good therapy.
Exactly this. Thanks, Jack, for the updates.
Iām glad your wife is doing better. She is lucky to have you as an advocate, especially in trying times like this.
While itās good to keep busy with your job give yourself a break once in awhile too.
Excellent to hear, AJ! Very glad that everything seems to be moving in a positive direction!
- Jeff
Thank you for the update Jack. I know youāre focus is squarely on your wife, then work. Keep yourself in check my friend, donāt work yourself into the ground.
s/f
Saturday was 3 weeks. She is now very active, moving her left side, trying to push her self up in bed or in the chair, and kicking her sheet and hospital gown on the floor (that last one was a shock for my kids). Friday I signed the paperwork to transfer her to a rehab facility. The hospital called me this morning and told me she was released, they were just waiting on the receiving facility to give the OK.
I started seeing overdraft notices in her email so I went to her bank. I spoke to the branch manager, showed him her ID, credit and debit cards, and a canceled check and explained the situation. TDBank, at least that branch, is very helpful and understanding. She had $1000/60 day overdraft protection. I paid the overdraft and then asked how I can manage this account without being able to see the balance or transactions. He said I couldnāt, but if I called the 800 number from her phone I could report the account compromised and they would lock it down until she came in the branch and reopen it, or I have a court document that allowed me to do it. The account is now locked. She will probably get a phone call (that will go to voice mail), then an email, and finally a bill in the mail. Once I get a paper bill I can manage the rest.
I have an appointment tomorrow with family court to request to be assigned as my wifeās guardian. My lawyer says it is just a formality, but it is another time where I get to be reminded that Iām her only advocate. Her life, welfare, everything, is entirely on me.
The hardest part of this entire event is being alone. Iām now the chief cook and bottle washer. It takes me an entire hour to get out of the house in the morning now, when I took about 20 minutes. The cats have not accepted me as their primary human, not that I care much, but now they are lonely.
In case you are wondering, I have not missed a day of work since this started. I have left early, come in late, and disappeared in the middle of the day a few times, but I am still running the show. My administrative assistant has started acting like my mother and telling me to take a break, etc. We have been together for years, so Iām ok with that.
So pleased things are moving in the right direction. My wife had a stroke about 10 years ago, all good now. Well, she doesnĆ¢ā¬ā¢t get a lot of my jokes but that was generally true priorĆ¢ā¬Ā¦
Looking forward to getting positive updates along the journey. If there is anything you need that can be accomplished remotely please PM me. Happy to help where possible.
Saturday was 3 weeks. She is now very active, moving her left side, trying to push her self up in bed or in the chair, and kicking her sheet and hospital gown on the floor (that last one was a shock for my kids). Friday I signed the paperwork to transfer her to a rehab facility. The hospital called me this morning and told me she was released, they were just waiting on the receiving facility to give the OK.
I started seeing overdraft notices in her email so I went to her bank. I spoke to the branch manager, showed him her ID, credit and debit cards, and a canceled check and explained the situation. TDBank, at least that branch, is very helpful and understanding. She had $1000/60 day overdraft protection. I paid the overdraft and then asked how I can manage this account without being able to see the balance or transactions. He said I couldnāt, but if I called the 800 number from her phone I could report the account compromised and they would lock it down until she came in the branch and reopen it, or I have a court document that allowed me to do it. The account is now locked. She will probably get a phone call (that will go to voice mail), then an email, and finally a bill in the mail. Once I get a paper bill I can manage the rest.
I have an appointment tomorrow with family court to request to be assigned as my wifeās guardian. My lawyer says it is just a formality, but it is another time where I get to be reminded that Iām her only advocate. Her life, welfare, everything, is entirely on me.
The hardest part of this entire event is being alone. Iām now the chief cook and bottle washer. It takes me an entire hour to get out of the house in the morning now, when I took about 20 minutes. The cats have not accepted me as their primary human, not that I care much, but now they are lonely.
In case you are wondering, I have not missed a day of work since this started. I have left early, come in late, and disappeared in the middle of the day a few times, but I am still running the show. My administrative assistant has started acting like my mother and telling me to take a break, etc. We have been together for years, so Iām ok with that.
happy for you
the cats will come around
listen to your asst she sounds smart
Glad to hear there is steady improvement. Sending lots of good vibes your way.
Glad to see that thereĆ¢ā¬ā¢s improvement continuing. But do listen to your AA and take care of yourself.
Iām not sure how I overlooked this thread, but you and your wife are in my thoughts and Iām hopeful for a good outcome. Sounds like sheās making real progress and I hope it continues. Have a running acquaintance who had a fairly major stroke last year - watched him finish a 4th of July 5K this year. Hoping to read a similar post here.
All my best.
Saturday was 3 weeks. She is now very active, moving her left side, trying to push her self up in bed or in the chair, and kicking her sheet and hospital gown on the floor (that last one was a shock for my kids). Friday I signed the paperwork to transfer her to a rehab facility. The hospital called me this morning and told me she was released, they were just waiting on the receiving facility to give the OK.
I started seeing overdraft notices in her email so I went to her bank. I spoke to the branch manager, showed him her ID, credit and debit cards, and a canceled check and explained the situation. TDBank, at least that branch, is very helpful and understanding. She had $1000/60 day overdraft protection. I paid the overdraft and then asked how I can manage this account without being able to see the balance or transactions. He said I couldnāt, but if I called the 800 number from her phone I could report the account compromised and they would lock it down until she came in the branch and reopen it, or I have a court document that allowed me to do it. The account is now locked. She will probably get a phone call (that will go to voice mail), then an email, and finally a bill in the mail. Once I get a paper bill I can manage the rest.
I have an appointment tomorrow with family court to request to be assigned as my wifeās guardian. My lawyer says it is just a formality, but it is another time where I get to be reminded that Iām her only advocate. Her life, welfare, everything, is entirely on me.
The hardest part of this entire event is being alone. Iām now the chief cook and bottle washer. It takes me an entire hour to get out of the house in the morning now, when I took about 20 minutes. The cats have not accepted me as their primary human, not that I care much, but now they are lonely.
In case you are wondering, I have not missed a day of work since this started. I have left early, come in late, and disappeared in the middle of the day a few times, but I am still running the show. My administrative assistant has started acting like my mother and telling me to take a break, etc. We have been together for years, so Iām ok with that.
Thanks for the update. No, you are not entirely alone. As dysfunctional as we are, the whole ST is with you in our thoughts etc.
Today is one month. I keep reminding myself that a month ago I was calling the family to the bedside and she was getting last rites. Wednesday she was moved to a skilled living and rehabilitation center. Friday she started breathing on her own consistently. The hospital had tried for 2 weeks. It took the rehab center 2 days. The hospital worked with her for a few minutes each morning. Rehab worked with her for 45 minutes 3 times a day, and continues to work with her. They will be installing a talk tube in a week and if all goes well move her out of the ventilator wing in 2 weeks.
Thursday night there was a jury duty notice for her in the mail. I called Friday and got the run around, so I called a family court judge biking buddy and asked him how to handle it. He told me to get a letter from rehab and take up to Riverhead, so that is what I did. I still had issues but I threw the judgeās name around a couple of times and got everything straightened out.
I now have 2 lawyers working on things for me. One is getting me a guardianship and the other is sorting through insurance and bills for me. As business savvy as I am, this is a very complicated maze. I would not suggest anyone try to do this without a lawyer. Everyone hates lawyers until there is one sitting next you looking out for you, then you love your lawyer.
The vultures have started to circle. I am starting to receive calls, text messages, and email from people that want to buy my house, loan me money, or take care of the Medicaid/Medicare paperwork. Some of it is very convincing.
Finally, here is a quote from the transfer paperwork from the hospital to the rehab center about yours truly.
āThe husband is a type A personality and fiercely protective of his wife. He sits for hours holding her hand and talking to her. He has not missed a day since she arrived. He watches everything you do in the room, asks questions, and will point out quickly and bluntly when he is unhappy with his wifeās care. He will talk to the charge nurse like she works for him. He demanded that one of the nurses be replaced because she āhad a negative attitude.āā
Reading that brightened my day. Looking at what my insurance paid they are working for me, and there is no place for negativity in my wifeās room. Iām glad they figured that out.
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The person sitting at the bedside often does way more than the medical team to get people better. Have looked forward to Mondays for this. Great report today.
You are a good man Jack.
More good news!
Keep up the good work Jack. Please tell your wife from all of us in the Long Island running community, that when she gets back to the starting line we will all be there rooting for her!
Various family members of mine are in the medical field. One thing they all say is to always advocate for yourself as a patient, or on behalf of someone receiving care who may not be able to. Be actively involved, and it sounds like you are.
Itās good to hear signs of progress. Fingers crossed that all continues to go as well as possible for you and your wife.
Finally, here is a quote from the transfer paperwork from the hospital to the rehab center about yours truly.
āThe husband is a type A personality and fiercely protective of his wife. He sits for hours holding her hand and talking to her. He has not missed a day since she arrived. He watches everything you do in the room, asks questions, and will point out quickly and bluntly when he is unhappy with his wifeās care. He will talk to the charge nurse like she works for him. He demanded that one of the nurses be replaced because she āhad a negative attitude.āā
Reading that brightened my day. Looking at what my insurance paid they are working for me, and there is no place for negativity in my wifeās room. Iām glad they figured that out.
Yeah, pretty sure I wouldnāt take any of that as an insult.
Youāre doing really well, and glad to hear about your wifeās improvement. Just donāt grind yourself to nothing and make sure you have an outlet for your thoughts.
Good to hear, Jack! Sounds like you are both on the right track! Wishing you both well!
- Jeff