Sending prayers and positive thoughts to your wife and you Senior Chief.
Fair winds and following to you brother.
Iâm going to try to update this post once a week.
Until Friday the ICU was in a watch and keep her comfortable mode. They were giving her mannitol to reduce the swelling and trying to figure out why she had a fever, but not much else. When I came in Friday she opened her eyes (first time since Saturday morning) and appeared to recognize me. That has progressed to the point where she is following simple directions, or at least trying. She will blink for yes and no, she will squeeze your hand on request (or if you hold her hand) and will try to lift 1, 2 or 3 fingers. Nothing on the right side is working, but she is responding strongly to pain on that side. She is also moving a lot. The doctor told me that is her slowly waking up and trying to stretch and move.
We have gone from she is likely to die, to we need to start thinking about what comes next. Friday they removed the catheter and today they are removing the NG and ET tubes and installing a PEG line and a Trach. They want to start weening her off the respirator and give her the ability to talk.
I also met the Neurologist that will taking care of her long term. He told me bluntly that a right handed person would have either died or be vegetative based on the damage. Her brain is wired significantly different than the majority of people.
Finally, I have an appointment with an estate lawyer today to discuss how to go forward with some things.
I want to thank everyone that has posted their support in this thread or sent me private messages.
Jack, thank you for letting us know. I been thinking about you both and hoping for the best.
Iâll continue to keep you both in my thoughts.
So sorry, best prayers and wishes.
Thanks for the update Jack. I know it is hard at the moment, but I see a lot of good news in your latest update. You have a lot of small, and large, victories ahead.
Iâm sorry, I missed this. I wish you well and hope you are able to receive the best care possible. Good luck.
Thank you for updating us. Praying that things keep moving forward in a good direction.
Very sorry to hear this sad news from both of you. I truly hope the outcomes will be positive in the end. Hang in there.
I am hoping for the best of outcomes for you and your wife.
The Lavender Room is rooting for you!
Looks like signs of victory / progress. Wishing that continues.
Very happy that she is showing progress.
It is very hard being the spouse of someone who is sick. You feel like any problems you have are trivial compared to what they are going through and you canât show any weakness or worry to them. Make sure you are taking care of yourself and getting rest. You arenât any good if you get yourself sick too.
Thanks for the update. Little victories, one at a time.
Sending love and prayers to you and LorenzoP.
Thank you for posting an update, and I truly hope the progress continues.
We are sometimes a dysfunctional family here on ST and the LR, but we are a family, of sorts.
Jack,
Thank you for the update. Very glad that your wife is showing progress, and I hope it continues and accelerates!
Take care, and know that youâre both in my thoughts.
- Jeff
We are now 2 weeks into the event. They have moved her to a chair and we spent the weekend watching the Olympics. She seems to be sleeping a lot. Thursday they put her on CPAP, where the respirator only gives her a breath if the time between breaths is too long. It give a little beep when it breaths for her. It was beeping a lot on Friday, but yesterday it didnât beep at all. Iâm told it beeps a lot at night. I asked them if they were accounting for her physical conditioning. I showed them her sleep logs where she would routinely go below 10 breaths a minute in deep sleep. They are going to discuss it with the doctor.
They have her on Zoloft. They think she is now starting to become aware of her situation and they donât want her to panic. There are some studies that show that people taking the drug do better when they have a stroke, but nothing definitive. Never hurts.
I have started looking at where she is going next. We have narrowed it down to two places. For the couple of people that live there, they are Affinity and Gerwin. Both are excellent rehabilitation and recovery centers. No one has said when she will transfer, but I was told to get ready.
Finally, I had my first meeting with the Elder Care Lawyer. That was very depressing, because she is planning on my wife never getting out of institutional care and making plans to protect assets. I know it has to be done, but discussing it is really bad.
Thank you for the update. I had actually thought of the two of you this morning.
I canât imagine how tough this is for you, and hope that both of your lives will be able to return to something resembling normal in the near future. But you are wise to take steps in the event that it doesnât.
Keep in mind that lawyers tend to plan for the worst. That is their job, to protect you from the worst, so donât read more into it.
I have a spin instructor friend who had a horrible stroke a number of years ago. If you met her now, youâd have no idea that she went through anything.
I hope your wife has a similar path back to good health.
Iâm glad things are taking a positive step for your wife. Continue to take care of yourself as you help to take care of your wife. Your devotion is inspiring and Iâm sure has a great and positive impact, on your wife. My dad was the same way with my mom and have seen the opposite too many times.
My thoughts are with you and your family as you continue to navigate the rough waters.
Jack, thanks for the update.
A little progress is good to see. Even though it was hard with the lawyer, keep your chin up, your wife is a runner. Talk to her about running, sheâs a runner, sheâs strong, sheâll do everything she get to get back. She just needs your help.
We all know someone he has recovered for a stroke. We all know that although itâs not easy, it is possible
Best of luck to her. My wife and I are Long Island runners. We will keep her in our thoughts.
I appreciate Jack being so willing to share his intimate story and pain here. And even more appreciate the love and support. This place really is more good than bad.
I implore all who are following to think long and hard about what you would or wouldnââŹâ˘t be OK with if your life suddenly changed. And what you would or wouldnââŹâ˘t be OK with if you ultimately couldnââŹâ˘t return to your prior level or quality of life. And then communicate those wishes to your person.
It is a heavy burden that carries enormous stress and emotion. Spelling it out can really be a gift if the fragility and reality of life collide.
Not saying that is the case here. And maybe most of you have. But I am watching it unfold in my family now and almost daily in my work. There is additional pain to compound the tragedy when it isnââŹâ˘t previously discussed.