Or better yet how many divorces before someone should just say "hmmm, marriage, probably not for me? "
Or better yet how many divorces before someone should just say "hmmm, marriage, probably not for me? "
1
It’s actually a great question. I know a woman who is on her fourth marriage. So you’re like ok wtf?!
There were actually good reasons why each one failed that I can say “ok, that’s a tough breakâ€.
Having said that, she’s clearly not a good judge of people.
I would honestly say if you’ve gotten divorced twice it’s probably time just to have a long term relationship without the hassle of getting married again.
Two divorces should be a massive massive red flag.
At one time? Probably limit it to three.
I thought seconds never worked but thirds had better statistics.
Some people just massively over correct and end up in the ditch on the other side of the road.
I would say after two divorces, it’s time to say no more…let’s be friends. My wife’s biological father is currently on his seventh marriage.
I’d say 2 divorces and you’d probably better not marry again. I had an uncle who got married 8 times. His first wife and love of his life died of cancer and he quite honestly never recovered. It got so bad his last marriage was to the daughter of one of his previous wives and it was to help with her health care/insurance, but it was just a joke at that point. They rightfully divorced and he eventually died. Had wife #1 not died, he’d probably have only had 1 wife, and maybe/maybe not would have lived 10-20 more years (he was a massive “drunkâ€. Didn’t call himself an alcoholic, called himself a drunk because he was a happy guy, but functioned just fine on a case of beer a day, every day, for as long as I knew him. He died when his liver started to bleed and it didn’t stop until it killed him 3 days later).
Or better yet how many divorces before someone should just say "hmmm, marriage, probably not for me? "
In my experience, the answer is somewhere around the number 1.
Liken most others, 2 divorces seems like bad news.
Very occasionally I meet people that I think are exceptions to that, and the ones that come to mind usually got married very young and divorced very quickly - like a marriage mulligan.
One woman I used to work with got married at 19, divorced a little over a year later - she says it was clear almost immediately that it was a mistake. Then she re-married in her mid-20s, made it almost a decade. Husband #2 was apparently a basically decent person, but traveled a lot, backed off the idea of kids, she wanted children and the biological clock started ticking loudly. Divorced again, third marriage took - couple kids, she’s been married 20+ years, seems like a good relationship.
My brother was divorced 3 times before he turned 35. He since learned that he doesn’t pick good wives and isn’t a good husband.
I have an uncle that is on marriage 8. He’s 83, so I guess he probably averages 8 years per marriage which isn’t as bad as it sounds.
I thought seconds never worked but thirds had better statistics.
First marriages fail at 50%. 2nd at 67%. 3rd at 73%.
Slightly off topic but a friend of mine met someone, got engaged, married, had a kid and then divorced (when kid was under 6 months old) all during the duration of our engagement. I’m pretty sure he won’t be marrying again any time soon. His life is in a pretty bad spot right now.
My answer is generally 2-3. I know a few people who just had really shitty luck on first two (first spouse died, legitimate reason for divorce on #2) but I almost think, at that point, why get married for #3? Or, at the very least, have a small family ceremony, no fanfare, no gifts, no stag/stagette etc.
I would say after two divorces, it’s time to say no more…let’s be friends. My wife’s biological father is currently on his seventh marriage.
That’s what I was thinking. You don’t have to get married. And after 2 divorces it is probably a clue that marriage might not be for you.
I had a co-worker marry the same guy twice AND divorce him twice…
Another fun one… A high school friend of mine, his girlfriend married her brothers best friend, he was in the Army so he could collect $$$ from the Army and the girlfriend/fake wife got a cut.
Or better yet how many divorces before someone should just say "hmmm, marriage, probably not for me? "
It seemed to work for Zsa Zsa (9) and Elizabeth Taylor (8).
I had a co-worker marry the same guy twice AND divorce him twice…
Got me beat.
My father-in-law was married, divorced, married my mother-in-law, got separated, reconciled, got divorced, got remaried, was within 2 weeks of getting divorced again (then my MIL got new meds).
Each person/marriage is different and one cannot make a simple “2 and done” ruling on marriage. In my case I’m on my third marriage which has lasted more than 20 years.
My first ended when my wife at the time decided that irrational behaviors and expectations were okay. She wanted the BMW lifestyle when she didn’t work and I was an E-6 in the Navy capable of no more than a Chevy lifestyle. There was no evidence of this problem before the marriage or within the first year, but when it started the marriage was pretty much over in less than 3 years.
The second marriage was my failure. I did not understand how blended families work and ended up on the other side of a war between my step daughter and myself. Add a bit of gang activity and the stress on the marriage finally broke it at the end of the 7th year.
My third marriage was founded on a different premise, I did not seek a relationship and let it come to me. I just tried to make myself the kind of person that someone would want to be married to, and voila, it happened. We have been pretty good for the 20+ years, and it has gotten better over those years. Today, as I face cancer, I could not image my life without my lovely wife. If I had decided to cut bait after only 2 marriages, I would have missed out on the best years of my life with the best person to spend them with.
My aunt married 4 times. This time
She has been married 15 years and I am pretty sure she finally got it right. So you never know…
I have a good buddy who makes bank (surgeon) he has been married 5 times. It seems he gets a thrill out of the falling in love part and getting something hot and new, not so much the long term commitment and the trustful companionship that comes with it. I imagine half of his hard earned money has been spent on divorces.
I hear this is a common way of going through life with a lot of Hollywood types people that can and they they always want more.
I had a co-worker marry the same guy twice AND divorce him twice…
Another fun one… A high school friend of mine, his girlfriend married her brothers best friend, he was in the Army so he could collect $$$ from the Army and the girlfriend/fake wife got a cut.
Do you work with my sister-in-law? She married my lying thief of a brother twice. They are in the process of divorce #2. Can’t fathom how she didn’t figure it out the first time.