Till you get it right? My Dad was married to my Mom for 20 years. Wives 2, 3, & 4 were less than a year each. Number 5 was 23 years when he passed last summer. One is also an appropriate answer
I thought seconds never worked but thirds had better statistics.
First marriages fail at 50%. 2nd at 67%. 3rd at 73%.
Not true, you might want to read this:
https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-myth-of-the-high-rate-of-divorce/
I agree with the predominant view above that after two or three divorces it’s probably time to call no joy (unless one can afford it and doesn’t mind the emotional/practical turmoil, no kids involved, etc.), but as others have pointed out, sometimes it happens to reasonable people.
My parents had been married for 17 years when within 18 months they lost -between them- three of their parents. A lot of stress and loss in a short period. They divorced but were always amicable and made it as easy as it could’ve been for my siblings and me; they remained caring towards each other for the rest of their lives. My mom remarried several years later to a great guy and remained so until the end of her life.
My dad remarried after he and my mom divorced, and marriage two just didn’t work out (five years, iirc?). Nothing horrible, just . Several years after, he met and married a wonderful woman, and they’re two peas in a pod. Have been together for almost 15 years now, and present what I see as one model for successful long-term relationships. My dad’s an emotionally stable, happy, and supportive person, and yes- he’s been married three times.
A guy I used to work with just got married for the 4th time
His first wife he met in school, abut HERE is where the red flags started: he hooked up with a bridesmaid ON THE WEDDING day, Wife #1 didn’t find out until after they split up, and he and bridesmaid moved in together
That failed, and he & wife reconciled, but it didn’t stick
Then he married from someone from eHarmony, but met his next wife while he & Wife #2 were filming a commercial for them
Things were quiet for a while, then last week he posted a pic of a pair of hands with new wedding bands
I had no comment
.
Two things.
-
I pulled my numbers off of the same internet that you did.
-
Though my numbers may be wrong, this article did a crappy job of explaining it. There was a lot of, “well, if you throw out this group, and consider that those people are poor black women, and if you also factor in cohabitation, blah blah blah.” Yes, they make the point that divorce rates will vary from the averages once you add in more statistical information, but that doesn’t then make the average “wrong.”
I’ve generally given up on using analogies in the LR because it’s just become fodder for the Fox News Cosplayers to win an argument through a refusal to understand something, but you are generally a reasonable person, so I’ll give it one more try.
The odds of drawing an Ace from a deck of 52 cards is 7.7%. If you have two aces in your hand, the odds drop to 4%. That doesn’t mean that the 7.7% was wrong. It means that you now have more information to get a better answer from.
And believe me, my wife and I have done similar math. Despite the 50% divorce rate, the odds of us getting divorced (knock on wood) are much lower once you add in additional factors like number of years married, age of marriage, finances, careers, color of skin, part of country we live in, etc.
I know a guy who has been married/divorced five times.
After my divorce, I went to this social gathering designed for single people in their 40’s. At that age most had been through a divorce. I started chatting up this very attractive woman. When she told me she had been divorced three times, I didn’t walk away, I ran.
If I ever split with #2, I’d probably throw in the towel.
I think realistically, and based on age, you could have 3 divorces and really everything be ok.
- (your age 20-25) get married young. Maybe college/HS sweetheart. Just went through the motions.
- (your age 25-35) get married later. Maybe you got cheated on/something out of your control that essentially required divorce.
- (your age 50+)spouse dies later in life so you remarry.
When she told me she had been divorced three times, I didn’t walk away, I ran.
Divorced x3: I’d probably just walk away
Widowed x3: *That’s *when you run
.
When she told me she had been divorced three times, I didn’t walk away, I ran.
Divorced x3: I’d probably just walk away
Widowed x3: *That’s *when you run
Know a guy who married an internet bride from Thailand originally. She’s been widowed twice, once to an American and then an Australian, and always done well with life insurance. We wonder if he will be #3.🙂
Then he married from someone from eHarmony, but met his next wife while he & Wife #2 were filming a commercial for them
fucking fantastic!
Each person/marriage is different and one cannot make a simple “2 and done” ruling on marriage. In my case I’m on my third marriage which has lasted more than 20 years.
Agreed. My dad is on #4 (#3 if you don’t count the flight attendant that lasted approx 60 days including the divorce finalization period…) #4 is my step-mom and an incredible woman. Been married 30 years with 2 daughters. He screwed up the first 3 but seems to have done properly on the 4th.