Good Article - Relationships take Work - Love over the long haul

The Coffee Shop
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Excellent article on relationships and correlating them to Jesus’ love for us.

Love, over the Long Haul
by John Fischer

Did you ever stop to think about what a bad deal Jesus got when He chose us to be His bride? No one would blame Him if He gave up on us. Good thing He doesn’t think like we do or He would have left this marriage a long time ago.

Listening to our culture, one might get the impression that a good relationship is something for which we all have an inalienable right. This conclusion comes from observing how quickly we look for the back door on any difficult relationship, and how that exit is usually justified on the basis that the current relationship is just too hard - the assumption being, there’s someone out there with whom a good relationship is a much easier proposition. That’s a far cry from realizing all relationships are going to have their challenges, and even the best will be severely tried.

This is when you have to think of Christ’s marriage to us. As Dan Haseltine wrote in the current issue of Relevant magazine, “Look at the marriage of Jesus… the one with the bride who sleeps around, never listens, disowns, scorns, dishonors, runs away, intentionally proves to be more interested in anything but her husband, is selfish and bears the children of every affair and the scent of every escapade. It was a marriage that killed Jesus. And it was the Gospel that brought Him back to life to love once more.”

Does God have a right to a better relationship? I suppose so, since He’s God. But does He take it? No. And thank goodness He doesn’t, or we would all be out on the street for sure.

We could stand to think a little more like Jesus when it comes to our relationships. He never allows Himself an out. He is in this for the long haul including whatever suffering is involved. He is able to do this because He isn’t thinking about Himself or His own rights. He is thinking about us. He even sees us as holy and blameless, yes, as even beautiful. He makes it so. We become beautiful in that He sees us that way, even now, when we know darn well we are not. He sees the finished product that He paid for and washed clean through the blood of His forgiveness on the cross. And if He can see us that way, we should be able to see each other that way as well, at least enough to be more patient with the process. This is love over the long haul, and there’s just no way any of us can be in fallible relationships without this.

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Two comments:

  1. If Jesus took you as his bride – does that condone gay marraige??

  2. This reminds me of a weird wedding I went to a while back

this part “This is when you have to think of Christ’s marriage to us. As Dan Haseltine wrote in the current issue of Relevant magazine, “Look at the marriage of Jesus… the one with the bride who sleeps around, never listens, disowns, scorns, dishonors, runs away, intentionally proves to be more interested in anything but her husband, is selfish and bears the children of every affair and the scent of every escapade.”

The wedding vows said somethings like "If your husband stays it is your duty to wait for him to come back – he may stray for a long time or stray many times but you have to stick by him no matter what he does.

I was like “What the F*@& – is he (the minister) saying they can cheat on thier spouse and they are supposed to take it???” – Your wife gets pregnant from another guy and your supposed to just take it and raise the kid???

No thanks

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Interesting point you raised & one of my friends is going thru a similar scenario: married 4-5 years to a GREAT lady–really hit a home run with her. All fine on the surface–great house, good business, she has a great job & they have been trying to have kids. She gets pregnant, they take a 3 month holiday to France to celebrate/take time off before the baby arrives. While in Europe it breaks at home that the baby is actually her bosses; she was stupid enough to text message her boss “I miss you; I’m traveling around France carrying your child–how does that make you feel?” Of course her boss leaves his mobile phone at home that day & his wife reads the text message & goes ballistic, telling everyone. The couple is coming back in the next week or two, and he must know by now (or will find out within 30 seconds of arrival): what do you do if you are him?

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Interesting point you raised & one of my friends is going thru a similar scenario: married 4-5 years to a GREAT lady–really hit a home run with her. All fine on the surface–great house, good business, she has a great job & they have been trying to have kids. She gets pregnant, they take a 3 month holiday to France to celebrate/take time off before the baby arrives. While in Europe it breaks at home that the baby is actually her bosses; she was stupid enough to text message her boss “I miss you; I’m traveling around France carrying your child–how does that make you feel?” Of course her boss leaves his mobile phone at home that day & his wife reads the text message & goes ballistic, telling everyone. The couple is coming back in the next week or two, and he must know by now (or will find out within 30 seconds of arrival): what do you do if you are him?

  1. Kick the bitch to the curb (figuratively, not literally – as in leave her)

  2. Sue her, Sue her boss - defemation of character, mental anguish

  3. Divorce her – on grounds of mental abuse and the affair

  4. Move far far away to start life over.

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Yes, you need to work on your relationships to make them good – you need to have forgiveness in your relationships – when you forget to take out the trash, put your dishes in the sink, or when the phone call saying your late is missed – But forgiving ALL ???

Nope – sorry – you are WRONG!!

Your spouse becomes a child molester – do you forgive them and stick by thier side??

Your spouse gets another pregnant or becomes pregnant - do you forgive them - raise the child as your own??

Your spouse beats you – do you forgive them, stay with them ??

This is one tenant of Christianity that bothers me – If Jeffery Dahmer “finds God” and asks for forgiveness – he is going to go to Heaven ??? While - some other guy who lives a good life but does not go to church is going to burn in hell for all eternity??

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I didn’t get that from the article.

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Truly a weird story. Coming from you it doesn’t suprise me though. You keep weird company. Like the saying goes…birds of a feather.

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I don’t know, michael. This scenario seems right up your alley. You’re the one who espoused and condoned healthy sexual relationships that included threesomes and the like.

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Well that’s real good for you as a Christian being married to Jesus and God and all. It’s kind of confusing I believe I heard the explaination in Sunday school when I was a kid but never quite understood what … they were telling me. But there is a reason why God the creator didn’t create a more beautiful mankind to love since he is the designer and can create whatever he wants. So he really only has himself to blame does he not?

Oh yeah now I remember, it was something like God is like the father who has children who gives all the love but children being what they are stray. So as long as they are willing to realize their mistakes God and Jesus have unlimited capacity to forgive. Well the analogy would be OK except we as parents do in fact merely fornicate to produce children, creations that we do not have full control of despite our mere human efforts to raise them well. God however is the ultimate all knowing creator so he should be able to shape and influence the end product any way he wants. So why all the empathy for him?

And back to the original question of your marraige to Jesus. What happens to the rest of the population who don’t have the same Christian religion as you. Oh yeah they are just lost sheep who need to be brought to the fold. Is that what you’re doing here?

So many in other institutionalized religions 100% exactly like you feel they are the chosen ones in their religion. They certainly exclude you misguided Christians just as you exclude them. Mutual bliss? That wonderful religion instigating all this terrorism for example has many of it’s brothers totally committed to thinking they are the only true believers with the rest of us and you as part of the ignorant masses.

You reckon they have any less right to think that way than you?

Well even the religion most close to Christanity ie the Roman Catholics deem themselves closer to the truth than you Christians and vice versa. But what do they know, they revere Mother Mary more than Jesus Christ which is wierd (at least that’s what I heard Christians say) and they invariablly elect some senile old fart with one foot in the grave to be their leader after the other old geezer kicks the bucket. (so say I …confused???)

This difference in interpretations defining the separation of two groups of course has not exactly been unknown to cause confict and bloodshed. As has that Suni and Shiite differentiation which really is also a mere technicality.

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** I believe I heard the explaination in Sunday school when I was a kid but never quite understood what … they were telling me.**

And still don’t…

** What happens to the rest of the population who don’t have the same Christian religion as you.**

John 3:11 pretty much explains what lies ahead for those who believe in Christ and accept him. It’s not my job to pass judgement on non-believers.

**Well even the religion most close to Christanity ie the Roman Catholics deem themselves closer to the truth than you Christians and vice versa. But what do they know, they revere Mother Mary more than Jesus Christ which is wierd (at least that’s what I heard Christians say) and they invariablly elect some senile old fart with one foot in the grave to be their leader after the other old geezer kicks the bucket. (so say I …confused???) **

See first reply in this post. I’d say yes…you’re still confused.
See first reply in this post.

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BTW on the micro level, I have seen it in many instances where those who suddenly find the ‘true’ word get so engrossed in their religious relationships they really lose nearly all feeling for their immediate family relationships. And I have also experienced it and am experiencing it first hand right in my own family. It’s like they are so engrossed in their spiritualism they got numbed to everything else around them. And I’m not just talking them renegade sects that form their own communities in the middle of the bush kinda religions.

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BTW on the micro level, I have seen it in many instances where those who suddenly find the ‘true’ word get so engrossed in their religious relationships they really lose nearly all feeling for their immediate family relationships. And I have also experienced it and am experiencing it first hand right in my own family. It’s like they are so engrossed in their spiritualism they got numbed to everything else around them. And I’m not just talking them renegade sects that form their own communities in the middle of the bush kinda religions.
I know many triathletes who exhibit this very same behavior. Some of which reside on this board.

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It’s kind of confusing

Judging from the way you’ve misread Brian’s post, and all the misconceptions in your post, I’d guess you’re pretty easily confused in general.

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I didn’t get that from the article.

This is when you have to think of Christ’s marriage to us. As Dan Haseltine wrote in the current issue of Relevant magazine, “Look at the marriage of Jesus… the one with the bride who sleeps around, never listens, disowns, scorns, dishonors, runs away, intentionally proves to be more interested in anything but her husband, is selfish and bears the children of every affair and the scent of every escapade. It was a marriage that killed Jesus. And it was the Gospel that brought Him back to life to love once more.”

We could stand to think a little more like Jesus when it comes to our relationships. He never allows Himself an out. He is in this for the long haul including whatever suffering is involved. He is able to do this because He isn’t thinking about Himself or His own rights.

OK guys – if your wife sleeps around and gets pregnant from another man – you forgive her and raise the kid as your own. Don’t ever allow yourself an out – even if your wife’s boyfriend keeps hanging around and drinking all your beer. – Oh Wait – you are a “good Christian man” so you don’t drink beer – uhmmmm - Even if you wife’s boyfriend wipes his dick on your pillow case when he is done – you sttick by your wife.

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  1. “It’s not my job to pass judgement on non-believers.”

How magnanimous of you Christian folk.

  1. “I know many triathletes who exhibit this very same behavior. Some of which reside on this board.”

Comparing dedication to sport to religious fervour? That’s stretching it.

Nothing you can say I haven’t heard before throughout my lifetime. Unlike religious folk I’m not about trying to convince people on what is correct to believe. Everyone can jolly well believe whatever they want to so long as it doesn’t harm others and so long as they don’t stick in our faces. Why I’m commenting is a reaction I get when I see or hear religious fervour in a non-religious environment so I am basically just providing a balanced perspective.

World’s biggest irony -

On our miniscule speck of a planet called Earth, the Creator has given us homosapiens much greater powers of reasoning and choice than our other animal counterparts living with us. And yet such a large proportion of our population are willing to forego much of this precious gift by blindly following something we self created called institutionalized religion.

For me I’d rather cherish my open mind and judge things based on obvious evidence and the powers of reasoning I was born with as opposed to something I’m told to believe or accept so that I can avoid the threat of going to hell and enjoy the promise of VIP treatment of being a true believer bound for heaven. From what I can see many ‘True Believers’ of all the various religions are simply not doing the correct things by standards of logic and reason, but rather from religious fervour or usubstantiated teachings or rules and often extreme hypocracy. But according to them and their religion they are still heaven bound.

Like I said I’m not here to change anyone’s ideas because I’m sure you good religious folk have your beliefs set in stone anyway, and good luck with that. BTW my being confused (which you guys seem to be having a jolly time riding on) was a semi concession, semi sarcasm thing not meant to be an admission by any means. I’m really not CONFUSED just absolutely not and never will be CONVINCED by self-righteous true believers.

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For me I’d rather cherish my open mind…

Open mind? Nothing in your post points to that conclusion. If your mind were so “open” then why aren’t you open to the idea of Christianity?

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Incense…burn some incense.

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Unlike religious folk I’m not about trying to convince people on what is correct to believe.

You aren’t? I think you’re more confused than you realize.

such a large proportion of our population are willing to forego much of this precious gift by blindly following something we self created called institutionalized religion.

It amazes me that so many people continue to believe in this absurd notion, that believers are zombies, who don’t think, but only blindly and mindlessly believe what they’re told. Our whole history stands in contradiction, but it makes the non-believers feel smart, so it persists.

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"Open mind? Nothing in your post points to that conclusion. If your mind were so “open” then why aren’t you open to the idea of Christianity? "

Har-har good one!

If your mind is so “open” then why aren’t you open to the idea of Islam?

As for Christianity, been there, got forced fed but threw it back out. Reasons? Very many live examples I really don’t need to go into. Since you’re into it? All the hallellujahs to you. Don’t worry your Christian self about lost sheep like me. Although your brain is already brain washed to believing it, not everyone needs your brand of salvation. Non- rligious principle - give your fellow man mutual respect and one aspect of this is not to intrude into his air space. I’m not complaining about you specifically but you Christians do tend to be awfully preachy at all the inappropriate times.

One thing I did notice is that whenever anyone is down or in a period of life when they are just a tad unsteady, them religious folk especially Christians just swarm in like vultures to take advantage. The religious pill is then offerred as the cure to all ailments. It’s a miracle! Example right here recently was our RekordCarbon.

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It’s cool. If you truly believe all of what you say, not even the slightest grey area, good for you.