Dating/Financial Question

The Coffee Shop
41

Sorry OP but your question is a waste of time. Answer is, don’t worry about it. 6-8 months from now you won’t be with this girl so don’t sweat it too much now. Ain’t gonna mean nothing when you are broken up.

Yeah, yeah, you are different and you two really love each other, blah blah blah. Save it. High school relationships never last through college and the ones that hang on longer just make it worse for themselves. My college had a nice system, 6 weeks on, then a week of break before another 6 weeks on. Every damn year the freshman girls would come in talking about how much they loved and missed their boyfriends. Then they go home for a week, then they come back and it is open season.

So forget the issue, have some fun, and realize you’ll be on to someone new within the year.

Really? My wife and I have been married for 22 years and we started dating in High School and lasted through college.

You aren’t the norm Mr. 1%'er.

Is the same for my wife’s sister and her husband.

What cult are you from? :wink:

I agree with Aaron on this. Sure, there’s always the person who is still happily married to their high school sweetheart after many years. That young relationships and marriages can work out and be successful is not the point. They can. It’s just that the odds are against it. Most people are extremely different at age 30 than they were at 18. And people change in different ways. People are also more likely to change (and in good ways) when they’re free to do it on their own without being tied in to a relationship that has certain expectations. In addition, people in exclusive and serious relationships when you miss out on countless opportunities that are mostly available to people who are single.

I believe it’s generally a good thing to have completely recovered from both having been dumped and having dumped someone before entering some long term commitment like marriage.

42

Sorry OP but your question is a waste of time. Answer is, don’t worry about it. 6-8 months from now you won’t be with this girl so don’t sweat it too much now. Ain’t gonna mean nothing when you are broken up.

Yeah, yeah, you are different and you two really love each other, blah blah blah. Save it. High school relationships never last through college and the ones that hang on longer just make it worse for themselves. My college had a nice system, 6 weeks on, then a week of break before another 6 weeks on. Every damn year the freshman girls would come in talking about how much they loved and missed their boyfriends. Then they go home for a week, then they come back and it is open season.

So forget the issue, have some fun, and realize you’ll be on to someone new within the year.

Really? My wife and I have been married for 22 years and we started dating in High School and lasted through college.

You aren’t the norm Mr. 1%'er.

Is the same for my wife’s sister and her husband.

What cult are you from? :wink:

I agree with Aaron on this. Sure, there’s always the person who is still happily married to their high school sweetheart after many years. That young relationships and marriages can work out and be successful is not the point. They can. It’s just that the odds are against it. Most people are extremely different at age 30 than they were at 18. And people change in different ways. People are also more likely to change (and in good ways) when they’re free to do it on their own without being tied in to a relationship that has certain expectations. In addition, people in exclusive and serious relationships when you miss out on countless opportunities that are mostly available to people who are single.

I believe it’s generally a good thing to have completely recovered from both having been dumped and having dumped someone before entering some long term commitment like marriage.

My wife and I got together when we were 21 and 20 respectively. Moved in within 6 week, got engaged in under 3 months, got married a year after getting engaged. She didn’t go through any breakups, she was dating a guy when we got together but she ghosted him before ghosting was even a thing. The closest I came to getting dumped was when a girl stood me up for homecoming in high school.

When we see our nieces and nephews at that same age we are amazed that we pulled it off. It worked for us though. We changed, but we changed together. All of our best memories have the other person in there. There is no way I would recommend that route. But I don’t think there is any best way of predicting relationship success without looking at the people.

43

Sorry OP but your question is a waste of time. Answer is, don’t worry about it. 6-8 months from now you won’t be with this girl so don’t sweat it too much now. Ain’t gonna mean nothing when you are broken up.

Yeah, yeah, you are different and you two really love each other, blah blah blah. Save it. High school relationships never last through college and the ones that hang on longer just make it worse for themselves. My college had a nice system, 6 weeks on, then a week of break before another 6 weeks on. Every damn year the freshman girls would come in talking about how much they loved and missed their boyfriends. Then they go home for a week, then they come back and it is open season.

So forget the issue, have some fun, and realize you’ll be on to someone new within the year.

Really? My wife and I have been married for 22 years and we started dating in High School and lasted through college.

You aren’t the norm Mr. 1%'er.

Is the same for my wife’s sister and her husband.

What cult are you from? :wink:

I agree with Aaron on this. Sure, there’s always the person who is still happily married to their high school sweetheart after many years. That young relationships and marriages can work out and be successful is not the point. They can. It’s just that the odds are against it. Most people are extremely different at age 30 than they were at 18. And people change in different ways. People are also more likely to change (and in good ways) when they’re free to do it on their own without being tied in to a relationship that has certain expectations. In addition, people in exclusive and serious relationships when you miss out on countless opportunities that are mostly available to people who are single.

I believe it’s generally a good thing to have completely recovered from both having been dumped and having dumped someone before entering some long term commitment like marriage.

My wife and I got together when we were 21 and 20 respectively. Moved in within 6 week, got engaged in under 3 months, got married a year after getting engaged. She didn’t go through any breakups, she was dating a guy when we got together but she ghosted him before ghosting was even a thing. The closest I came to getting dumped was when a girl stood me up for homecoming in high school.

When we see our nieces and nephews at that same age we are amazed that we pulled it off. It worked for us though. We changed, but we changed together. All of our best memories have the other person in there. There is no way I would recommend that route. But I don’t think there is any best way of predicting relationship success without looking at the people.

Even 20 and 21 is a lot different than 17 and 18. Not saying it can’t be done, but it is definitely not the norm, especially for people who go off to college.

44

Mostly true.

Most HS relationships don’t last past high school, but then again, most relationships don’t last, period.

I do personally know three sets of friends who are happily married 20+ years after high school.

45

Read “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”. Carefully and with a highlighter. Then loan it to GF.

After I read this part, I was 100% confident you are talking out of your ass.

You never ever do that as a guy… highlighter/ really? That’s relationship suicide.

To the OP:
You can thank me later…
Oh it gets much better than that. The problem here is that you’ve not read the book, so you don’t even know the fabulous insights that are waiting for you in it’s pages. Go read it. Then you can come back and grovel.

So here’s rest of the story. In the mid 90’s I was a company commander in the Army. I had lots of 18 and 19yr old youngsters getting married for all the goofy reasons that young military types do so. Well, at least none of them seemed to be buying prostitutes out of bars to marry, which I saw several times as a young impressionable Lt. The Army youngsters always have a helova time in marriage. They marry their HS sweetheart or some local girl they recently met. The HS sweetheart is sometimes still in HS. The local girl is often, ah, problematic.

When you’re a platoon leader or company commander, your organization is your family. Sure, some of them are older than you, but they are still your family. The desire to help them is over powering. It’s like every kid is your kid-brother, with all his charms and warts and you’re goddamned determined to help him succeed in any way you can. It’s kind of a tough love sort of thing tho. Often the route to the kid’s ultimate success isn’t blowing sunshine up his ass, it’s providing the tough love that he needs. The important thing to understand tho, is that any decent platoon leader or company commander will do just about anything to help their folks. Because family.

So I had all sorts of youngsters getting engaged. Many of the kids that had gotten recently married were already having problems. This isn’t like the civilian world, as the company commander I had no choice but to be involved in the marriage struggles as soon as MPs got involved. So I started scheming on how I might help the kids.

And that’s how I made daily briefs on “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” a requirement as soon as some youngster announced his engagement.

So, over the course of 18months, there were prob 8 kids that each night briefed me on the chapter that they’d read last night. The chapters in the book are short, like 10 pages so it wasn’t like they were reading War and Peace.

Each time tho, the kid would be very surprised about this requirement.
PFC Jones: “Sir, you want me to do what?”
CPT Gress: “Every evening at 1700 brief me on the next chapter of this book”.
PFC Jones: “Sir, ah, you want me to do what”?
CPT Gress: “Each evening you will brief me on the next chapter of this book. Yes, I really mean it.”
PFC Jones: “Sir, can you really make me do that?”
CPT Gress: “Jones, this is the Army. I could shoot you dead and all I’d have to do is explain to the Bn Cdr why it was necessary”.
PFC Jones: “Uh, ok sir”.

Most of these kids were not much on reading books. That was ok. Once we got halfway thru the first briefing the next night, and I saw this every single time, they’d be saying “holy shit holy shit holy shit sir, I had no idea” Which was exactly my reaction when I’d read the book and I was 15yrs older then they when I’d read it. 20yrs ago I could quote whole passages of the book because I discussed it with so many kids.

The reason my copy was highlighted was so that I could discuss those passages with my GF, who I later duped into marrying me. It was her book, but she’d not read it. I pulled it out of her bookshelf one day early in our dating. I always check out people’s bookshelves, I’m a bookworm. I didn’t make it 5 pages into it before I exclaimed “holy shit” and found a highlighter.

46

That reminds me of the below video by comedian Mark Gungor talking and joking about how different mens and womans brains are. Aside from being funny it really helped my wife understand how I think.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XjUFYxSxDk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XjUFYxSxDk
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!(<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/3XjUFYxSxDk&quot; frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>)

47

A guy really has to be on their toes when they talk to a girl about the girl’s problems.

I stopped after reading this because you’re talking about way less than 1% of the entire total male population going back to Adam (who by the way wasn’t in that group, either).

48

Sorry OP but your question is a waste of time. Answer is, don’t worry about it. 6-8 months from now you won’t be with this girl so don’t sweat it too much now. Ain’t gonna mean nothing when you are broken up.

This. Have some fun with the girl and make some memories. Learn from your journey.

49

PFC Jones: “Sir, can you really make me do that?”

I head this line a lot from my guys… mostly had to do with keeping the E4 mafia away from strippers in El Paso.

50

Pulp - Common People

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuTMWgOduFM

You aren’t going to understand. It’s not a bad or good thing, it just the thing. Just keep your mouth shut about money and if the subject comes up just be supportive.

51

36 years here, started dating her when she was 15.

52

I grew up lower middle class. My mom didn’t work and I think my dad topped out at $50k with a ton of overtime. All this with six kids. My wife grew up upper middle class.

There are times you deal with bitterness, like when you are working during Christmas break and all your friends have gone skiing. Or when you friends have gone to Cancun on spring break and you are working. Or when your friends go tot he beach for two weeks in the summer and you are…working.

Thinking back to that time, my wife pitched in occasionally for groceries or dinner. No talks on class struggles, just a little gentle help when I had no funds.

I wouldn’t have had it any other way. My past molded me to the person I am today. A hard working mofo that doesn’t give up.

53

36 years here, started dating her when she was 15.

Is that you Mr. Rose?

54

Empty post contents.

55

?

Read the Pete Rose thread.

56

36 years here, started dating her when she was 15.

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/l1_t_eebOwo/maxresdefault.jpg
.

57

36 years here, started dating her when she was 15.

and hopefully you were 16?

58

When I was 20 something, I started dating this gorgeous girl. Tall, blonde, well spoken, she seemed like the whole package. But as we got to know each other , it came to light that her family was very rich, and she had absolutely no concept of money, or work, or how the two are related. We are talking a 23 year old who has owned a car since she was 16, but couldn’t tell you how much her insurance cost. She didn’t know how to pump her own gas. Everything, from living expenses, to tuition was put on daddy’s credit card. It drove me insane, and I couldn’t handle being with someone so clueless. Eventually, I met, by coincidence, a good friend of hers and ended up dating her too… But she was exactly the same. Couldn’t stand to be with either of them, despite their looks.

It wasn’t the fact that they had a free ride in life and I didn’t that bugged me, it was the fact that they were completely ungrateful for it and clueless, and had no desire to be independent from their parents wallet.

Needless to say they both married rich guys and are now stay at home housewives, continuing their happy existence of just getting by on others without ever having to do a damned thing for themselves.

59

Interesting.

A friend of mine was dating a girl in HS. He was a year out and she was a senior. He went into the service and married her so that she could come along on his assignments (or however you say that. He gets stationed somewhere and she comes along and lives with him. Needed to be married to do that.)

They had their ups and downs, bought a house, two children, etc. Anyway, she’s bat shit crazy, demanding, treated him like dirt, and did not age well. A few years ago she went on the prowl and eventually cheated on him with the 40 year old virgin guitar player of my band, who was working at a book store and living with his parents at the time.

He could have used some commander guidance at the time.

60

Ha! Funny shit.

Actually I was almost 17.