I wouldn’t worry too much about a “women’s specific†fit in a mtb. Not really sure what that would look like from a geometry standpoint. Full suspension is a good choice and, honestly, I think you’re better off having a bike that’s ~1lb heavier with ~120mm of travel vs saving that pound and only having 100mm of travel. My $0.02, the last gen Giant Anthem Sx is probably perfect for you. 27.5 wheels will be less likely to have toe overlap problems. 130mm of travel front, 115mm travel rear, pedals very well. Some might think that travel is excessive for Xterra but I think you’ll find you carry Speed much better through rocky and rooty sections and you’ll be less fatigued on the run.
I started off on a Cannindale F-Si which is an absolute whippet of a bike. Perfect for buff single track and very light but my body acted as most of the suspension over anything rough and I was very fatigued going out onto the run. On my Fuel Ex I’m actually faster over basically any course (except crazy smooth single track but even then it’s a minor deficit) and I’m much fresher going out onto the run.
Lots of people like packs, I still run a bottle and for that I recommend a Fidlock. For a flat kit, get a tubolito tube and Specialized makes an “XC flat kit†which is basically a little wedge that sits in your lower triangle that holds all of your flat stuff.
Get a bike with a dropper post. Just do it.
All of that said, don’t get the new Stumpjumper. Even in the ST guise it’s too downhill focused and doesn’t pedal well. I tested it out in Sedona this spring. It’s definitely more of a “brawler†now. Fast downhill over chunder but the steering is very awkward in switchbacks.
The new Trek Top Fuel is another option for you but, again, given your height I’d look for a 27.5 bike so, again, the last gen Giant Anthem SX.
For tires, you want something with an aggressive tread on the front and less aggressive on the rear. I thought this was nonsense until I tried it. Bontrager XR4 front and XR2 rear is a good combo. I’m trying out a Vitoria Barzo front and Mezcal rear now which might be faster but the Mezcal tends to slip when climbing roots while the XR2 did not. Not sure. Both of those are good combos though.
Tubeless for sure and 1x for sure. Don’t fret too much about weight.
Oh yeah, take a look at Fezarri’s 120/120 trail bike. I rode one of those in Sedona and was very close to buying one. Very nice bike, arguably the perfect Xterra bike, I’m just not positive on 29ers for your frame size given the potential problem of toe overlap.