I don’t feel like i’m winning at life often. Things are generally fine, but not winning. But today, after a couple of adult drinks, pitching baseballs to my five year old who’s loving life playing baseball with me, the temperature is mid 70s with a warm breeze – I got tears in my eyes. things could not have been better. your examples?
Today was our daughters second birthday party. Also, her nanny is leaving today for a job in Calgary, and our daughter will be starting day care full time next week.
At the party, our kid was having a great time. Both sets of grandparents were there, a few of her friends, lots of family, etc. As everyone left, and our kid was partied out and falling asleep, we asked if our nanny wanted to out her down one last time. We could hear her outside the bedroom telling our daughter that she was loved, and she will miss her, and how lucky she was to be her friend.
Wife, myself and nanny were all blubbering messes when she left, and I couldn’t help but think of how much love and support our kid has. Despite all the shit of the past year (and there has been a lot of shit) that one felt like a pretty big win for our family.
And just to top it off we are having ribs tonight. Maybe a few craft beers, maybe a whiskey, maybe even a nice cigar thrown in for good measure.
my real job allows me to work at a summer camp for 4 weeks each summer.
Last Saturday my 15 y/o son earned his First Degree Black Belt, the yesterday entered a tournament and placed 2nd in the three traditional events and 1st in board breaking. I love watching him compete and seeing the fire in his eyes at that moment. Something switched in me recently where I would far rather watch him compete than myself to race.
All this from a young man I really never thought would see it through to this point.
Oh yeah, and consider this a not so humble brag. Life is good my friends.
my older son, who is now a junior in college, is his own man. Today’s his last day with us before he heads back.
Nothing as big as everyone else’s, but my 2 kids (4.5 and 3) slept until 7:30 this morning. Which gave me an extra 1.5 hours of sleep, so definitely winning this morning!
Went to my nurse’s son’s wedding last nice. In town so no travel. Brief speeches good food good company. That is a win.
My boys (10/13) are old enough to have a good game of tennis with the four of us now. I love that as a family we can all play a common sport together. Only problem is that our 10yo is a much better player than our 13yo which causes a few problems at times.
Watched our 10yo at (field) hockey yesterday, the whole team really “got it” in terms of field positions etc including our son. Told him during the game and on the drive home how much I enjoyed watching their game.
Also kids are old enough to leave at birthday parties/friends’ houses without me/wife needing to stay to supervise. Yesterday our 10yo went to a birthday party which allowed me to get in an hour on the bike.
I love my kids and I love how they are growing up to be great young men.
Nothing as big as everyone else’s, but my 2 kids (4.5 and 3) slept until 7:30 this morning. Which gave me an extra 1.5 hours of sleep, so definitely winning this morning!
Dude… That’s amazing.
My 2 year old was up at 2:30, 3, 3:30, 430 and 5:30 with nightmares.
There’s been a lot of darkness over the last 6 years. This weekend however had quite a bit of light.
Yesterday was my birthday. The estranged asked if they could all take me out to lunch. I headed up the road and the kids (6/9/13) sat me down then proceeded to bring me hand made cards and then hand me a gift their mum had picked out for me. The youngest still has that innocent/sweet look when handing you a gift; so excited to see your expression when you unwrap it. After the gift we went to a local Greek restaurant for the first time and after an issue at the start we all had a great time.
This morning I picked up the older two for the major annual fun run. Third year we have done the little 4km version and was keen to see if they’d progressed (older one is not very sporty and though the daughter is, anything about 400m she hates). Both PB’d (him by 1.5 mins, her by 3.5 mins). Got the younger one dropped over to us so we could have a Macca’s breakfast together then walked home.
Kicked a little soft footy out in their backyard with the 6 yo. He has no idea what he’s doing but he’s passionate. It was hilarious to watch. His mum joined us for about 30 mins. Later I shot some hoops with the oldest and he beat me in a free throw game (which is nice to see given what little sport he’s played). Rode around with the youngest a bit before helping the daughter with her maths problem of the week then her media assignment.
Started to feel like I was actually part of a family again but alas I left and came ‘home’. Nonetheless it was one of the better weekends I’ve had for years. Not an argument in sight.
My university mate (and colleague of the last 7 years) lost his wife to cancer on Wednesday. He has two boys to bring up (12 and 14) who each of some form of special needs. I need to remind myself that sometimes life isn’t that bad.
Nothing as big as everyone else’s, but my 2 kids (4.5 and 3) slept until 7:30 this morning. Which gave me an extra 1.5 hours of sleep, so definitely winning this morning!
Dude… That’s amazing.
My 2 year old was up at 2:30, 3, 3:30, 430 and 5:30 with nightmares.
I’ve had those nights, never fun. Wife and I have definitely been fortunate when it comes to the kids being great sleepers. Eating and potty training were and still are a challenge, so win some lose some. Hopefully your kid gets a good nap in today!
Living in Ohio a few years ago.
Early fall day, grey sky, temp in the 50’s.
My 3 boys raked the leaves into a big pile on the front lawn.
We spent the afternoon playing in the leaves.
A perfect day. The boys were laughing and not fighting with each other.
Best day ever.
Had a picture from the day blown up to poster size and it hangs in our living room as a reminder when the boys are seconds away from killing each other that there are moments worth remembering.
3 year old granddaughter told me yesterday, “I love you, my Bibi!”
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Eight months ago my eldest daughter tried to kill herself. Today, she’s actively applying for college.
Just wanted to highlight the fact that every thread is about friends and family, not one comment about material possessions. Too many consider winning at life to be a measure of wealth and things.
For me, we just dropped the youngest off at her university for freshman year and the older one for her junior year, heading home today.
Mixed feelings of sadness, pride, excitement for their futures and the strange empty nest existence about to begin.
Big changes coming this year in the JD21 household as I start retirement actions and solidify some major bucket list plans.
I spent the early part of my legal career at a big law firm. If I had stayed there I could be making well over $1M per year by now.
Instead I helped start a small law firm 5 years ago. The first 2 years were terrifying, even now the money isn’t (yet) that great, I worry a lot all the time. But I work out in the middle of the day, have dinner with my kid every night, feel like I have some control over my own destiny.
Earlier this summer I was at a shindig at the summer house of a partner at my old firm - plush place on Martha’s Vineyard, ocean view, the whole smash. I complimented him on his success. He smiled at me and said, “My kids are messed up and I’m not even around enough to know why. I wish I’d had the guts 15 years ago to do what you did.â€
Not sure I feel like I’m winning, but I do think I’ve made a few good decisions that have kept me out of a few nasty ditches.
Been thinking about this a good bit lately.
I have enough. Not extraordinary amounts, but enough. When I was the age my kids are now (9 and 5.5), I didn’t have a dad. Well, I did, but he left and went somewhere else, save for the 4 times he felt guilty enough to come around for a day just to clear his own conscience…except for that one time my mom took us to see him and I saw him rape her when I was 5. At the age my kids are, I knew what it was like to be abused by multiple family members, to be told you were a mistake, to being made to bleed by a parent.
So much of that carried into how I saw myself. Timid, afraid, unable to be authentic and vulnerable, surface level, trying to earn love because I didn’t really believe I was worthy of it. Deep depression, letting go of friends when they’d get too close, not taking real chances on myself and what drives me.
But here I am right now sitting on the deck on a house that will be paid off at an age well before anyone in my family, a retirement account that’s ahead of schedule, comfort, enough food to be happy, plenty of friends & a few truly deep ones, enough of everything plus choices. And, absolutely the most importantly, my family. My kids know what it’s like to have a parent tuck them in every single night, know what it’s like to have a dad doing that for them, have me at their events, taking time off to spend exclusively with them. I watched my son’s soccer tournament this weekend, saw his trepidation at playing a new position he’d never even practiced (forward), and his joy at creating a goal for a teammate in the last game. Snuggled with my daughter on my lap, have had a pleasant day with my wife, a relationship we salvaged from the ashes in commitment together.
And to top it off – as I sit here on the deck I’m working on a cover letter, resume refresh, etc. to throw my name in the hat for a position I have no business applying for. I have the skills and passion for it, but am coming from the wrong pedigree compared to others in it. And I don’t care, because over the last couple of years – for the first real time ever – I’ve learned how to trust in and believe in me, and I know if I can just get in the door for a conversation I’ll be able to put myself in contention and bring the organization something really unique. And if it doesn’t work out, no big deal. It’s no indictment on me and I’m already in the works for a promotion at work later this year & am almost certain to shift responsibilities there into a role I’ve asked them to create for me.
Maybe it’s not winning, but it’s enough. And I can live with that because I am at so much peace.
I don’t feel like i’m winning at life often. Things are generally fine, but not winning. But today, after a couple of adult drinks, pitching baseballs to my five year old who’s loving life playing baseball with me, the temperature is mid 70s with a warm breeze – I got tears in my eyes. things could not have been better. your examples?
Eight months ago my eldest daughter tried to kill herself. Today, she’s actively applying for college.
Love this story!
Maybe it’s not winning, but it’s enough.//
Dude, you are winning big time. Take that to the bank…
Why do you hate your child?