Last rip down the slides at hotel this morning, Went down head first to creat as little splash as possible. We were having a big splash contest. Went really slow (so as to create no splash!) however upon leaving the slide I somehow maneged to bump my head on the slide.
The result: an 1 1/4 inch gash above my left eye that required four stitches to close!
My three young children were there to watch 
I will never again have to explain why they should not go head first!
How do I move this to the Lavender room where it belongs?
Hm Physics would have you believe that letting gravity and the design of the slide do it’s job, you would not have experienced bumping the slide upon leaving the slide (your velocity in the x direction would have be sufficient enough to clear the slide without injury). However, you defiled the engineering gods by 1) slowing yourself down and 2) going headfirst, and thus you were punished! By the way, if you had pointed your toes and entered in the water at the correct angle, your splash would be even less than if you went head first because your body surface area (the initial area breaking the tension of the water) would be less.
Most midlife crisis are not fulfilled by water slides but with motorcycles which produce much more devastating results when the laws of physics is ignored, so at least you have that going for you.
Sure, but have you ever seen an olympic diver “rip” head first? And I wonder if full speed would have resulted in 8 stitches?