Who in the F*CK is in Charge of Maintaining the GD Pool?

Triathlon Forum
1

It is Friday night so I drive the 15 minutes to get the chain gym with the pool; my normal routine every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I love the stillness of the pool on Fridays; after all, it is “date night” so all the stuck-up bimbos are at PF Chang’s ignoring their dates for a hot night of text messaging; intelligent conversation flying off their blood red fingertips like sparks at a steel mill. Ouch, that one was scorching HOT!

YES!!!, with the exception of an old man with a bad hair-dye job jogging in the fast lane, the pool is completely empty. I’ll do my workout, get out, and get my ass home for some Pabst Blue Ribbon and All Star Wrestling.

Lacking the presence of the disgusting newlywed couple, the water usually isn’t this murky. Oh well, cheap beer and The Eliminator are waiting for me at home. I hop into the water, letting my body adjust to the dramatic ten degree air-to-water difference – unlike Mr. Roger’s goldfish, I don’t have the luxury of sitting in a bag for an hour as my scaly body patiently adjusts to the temperature change; this girl has places to be! My bottom half and top are out of sync so I quickly dunk my head under; at least I’ll be consistent – consistently cold.

I start my warm-up – 50/100/150. I feel pretty damn good. I’m gliding through the water smoother than the one-armed lady in the Total Immersion video. As I swim I notice a full quarter inch of chlorine powder littering the bottom of the pool. Who the F*cK is in charge of mainetence here? They really need to make the instruction on the chemical packages multilingual. Uno scoop! Uno scoop!

Suddenly I notice a bright orange piece of paper on the glass door leading to the pool – “Pool Temporarily Closed.” WTF??? WTF??? This temporary pool closure doesn’t fit into my training schedule! See, look, January 12th – swim 9 sets of 200m. Nowhere on this page do you see “time off for scheduled pool maintenance.” Gold’s Gym, you are solely responsible for destroying my Kona dream. You WILL hear from my attorney.

I kick my fins in utter disgust and head off toward the shower. I think the excess chlorine is starting to melt the lane-jogging old man’s hair right off; the gals back at the home aren’t going to have any respect for a 78 year-old duck who doesn’t have a full head of flowing brunette hair.

… Today is Saturday January 13, 2007 and my body still feels itchy despite the full cucumber sponge scrubbing. I have a headache and I’m pretty sure the chemicals in the pool the night before stripped a full three layers of epidermis and one full layer of retina from my body. I’m as pink and hairless as a mole rat.

So anyway, back to my original question… who in the F*CK is in charge of maintaining the GD pool? And yes, I’ve been drinking.

2

Are you really complaining because you did not pay attention to a posted sign?

3

Two questions:

  1. Did your swim suit disintigrate into pieces before you made it back to the locker room?

  2. Is this a chain gym towards the south end of Salt Lake valley?

4

I’ve been drinking.

You’re one of those fun and lovable people when you drink, right?

5

funny story, sorry you didn’t get your swim in, though.

6

I’ve been drinking.

You’re one of those fun and lovable people when you drink, right?
Yep, and a total asshole when i haven’t had been.

7

Well, with your screen name, shouldn’t you be swimming along the bottom of the pool anyway, cleaning the damn thing yourself? :0

8

Well, with your screen name, shouldn’t you be swimming along the bottom of the pool anyway, cleaning the damn thing yourself? :0
I don’t do chlorine. Sorry. Slime, yes, chlorine, no.

9

*What *kind of sponge?

10

my pool isn’t much better. Last year they shut it down for maintence for a week without posting anything. When I asked the life guard who is a friend of mine why, she said that the filter had been plugged for the last 6 months and they they finally got around to doing a water analysis and decided the water quality is bad enough to warrent draining the pool to fix it. So for the past 6 months I had been swimming in a stagnant pool. No wonder my skin always itched worse after swimming there.

Then once they fixed the filter, it took them a few months to start adding chemicls again. Never mind the water temp was always 5 degrees too hot or too cold.

11

“I’m as pink and hairless as a mole rat.”

You know the rules…pics or it didn’t happen :wink:

Haim
.

12

hmmm, hair removal with no razorburn… Can you test the chlorine concentration and I’ll mix up a batch? Razors cut the hell out of me…

13

Oh man, do I feel your pain, I’ve been doing battle with my pool for two months because of their f’ed up schedule. It’s a municipality pool, so they just change things on a whim and are closed for every single holiday you can think of, hell they’ll probably be closed on Arbor Day. Fairly normal hours during the week, but very limited on Saturday and closed on Sunday. Closed for two weeks to replace the heating system, but the worst was over Christmas when they decided to use the early morning lap time for the swim team since the kids had off for 2 weeks, this was done without pre-warning. So one day I show up at 7am for my workout to find a sign out front stating that the morning lap time is canceled due to swim team for two weeks. My head exploded and home to contact the people that run the pool, of course I got some lame boiler plate email from them. They’re also closed this Monday for MLK day, so I won’t get a workout in for 3 days. Yes, I’m frustrated, unfortunately there is no viable option as the only other pool is a haul to get to.

14

Haha, thats a great story, do you write for a living? If not, you should…Very entertaining!

15

Oh man that was funny. you ahve a talent for the written word. sounds like out chain gym pool without the tampons and pamper fragments on the bottom.