When to ask for a 2nd date?

The Coffee Shop
1

I must be truly desperate to come here for help.

Need some dating advice from the LR brain trust. It’s been a while since I dated, and mentally I think I am ready to start thinking about maybe dating again. Was talking to my friends and want to get some thoughts from you folk.

Assuming I manage to get a date with a gal, say for coffee, and things went fairly well. When should I ask for a 2nd date?

I was thinking that I should bring up a 2nd date near the end of the first date. I figured that this is a frank and open way of showing my intentions. But a couple of my friends say that I should just text/email the gal after the date. This way, she has time to decide and if the feeling was not mutual, it would save her the discomfort of saying ‘no’ in person.

What say you LR?

2

Thank her for the pleasure of her company at the completion of the first date. Ask for the second date in a text / email 1-3 days after the first date.

3

Thank her for the pleasure of her company at the completion of the first date. Ask for the second date in a text / email 1-3 days after the first date.

^^ This ^^

4

Before she leaves in the morning.

5

Thanks!

So don’t be to eager then.

6

I must be truly desperate to come here for help.

Need some dating advice from the LR brain trust. It’s been a while since I dated, and mentally I think I am ready to start thinking about maybe dating again. Was talking to my friends and want to get some thoughts from you folk.

Assuming I manage to get a date with a gal, say for coffee, and things went fairly well. When should I ask for a 2nd date?

I was thinking that I should bring up a 2nd date near the end of the first date. I figured that this is a frank and open way of showing my intentions. But a couple of my friends say that I should just text/email the gal after the date. This way, she has time to decide and if the feeling was not mutual, it would save her the discomfort of saying ‘no’ in person.

What say you LR?

Don’t think of it as a date. Just live your life and invite her to be a part of it. So, when you want to go to the movies, call and say- hey, I was gonna go see a movie, want to come with? Or, I was going to go to this restaurant I really like, would you like to go?

7

Thank her for the pleasure of her company at the completion of the first date. Ask for the second date in a text / email 1-3 days after the first date.

^^ This ^^

Seriously, you two? A text or an email?

It’s really easy - Just pick up the phone and call her!

8

Thank her for the pleasure of her company at the completion of the first date. Ask for the second date in a text / email 1-3 days after the first date.

^^ This ^^

Seriously, you two? A text or an email?

It’s really easy - Just pick up the phone and call her!

Hell no… Then she’s stuck saying no over the phone. Absolutely do not call unless you are 100% sure she will say yes. The awkwardness would be over the charts if you call.

It’s really simple, go out, have fun. In a day or two shoot a text saying, “Hey what’s up.” (Or something a little more clever.) Don’t even ask for a second date. If she responds, then you can ask. If she doesn’t, well, you have your answer.

9

Thank her for the pleasure of her company at the completion of the first date. Ask for the second date in a text / email 1-3 days after the first date.

Text or email? What the hell?

I say play it by ear. If it’s going well, and you have things in common, I’d have no problem asking if she would be interested in something during that date. “You like hiking too? We should check out x trail next weekend with the dogs” type thing.

You’ll know if you should be asking for a second date.

10

Thank her for the pleasure of her company at the completion of the first date. Ask for the second date in a text / email 1-3 days after the first date.

^^ This ^^

Seriously, you two? A text or an email?

It’s really easy - Just pick up the phone and call her!

Hell no… Then she’s stuck saying no over the phone. Absolutely do not call unless you are 100% sure she will say yes. The awkwardness would be over the charts if you call.

^^^^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^^^

11

BTW, broads hate it when you call the gals.

I can’t imagine trying to date now. I’d be lost.

12

Thank her for the pleasure of her company at the completion of the first date. Ask for the second date in a text / email 1-3 days after the first date.

^^ This ^^

Seriously, you two? A text or an email?

It’s really easy - Just pick up the phone and call her!

Hell no… Then she’s stuck saying no over the phone. Absolutely do not call unless you are 100% sure she will say yes. The awkwardness would be over the charts if you call.

It’s really simple, go out, have fun. In a day or two shoot a text saying, “Hey what’s up.” (Or something a little more clever.) Don’t even ask for a second date. If she responds, then you can ask. If she doesn’t, well, you have your answer.

Jesus, you all sound like pussies. Say she says no. “No worries, it was nice meeting you regardless, take care”.

You’ve been on one date, it’s not like that rejection is soul crushing. If it’s terribly awkward for her, you probably don’t want to be involved with her anyway.

13

Thank her for the pleasure of her company at the completion of the first date. Ask for the second date in a text / email 1-3 days after the first date.

^^ This ^^

Seriously, you two? A text or an email?

It’s really easy - Just pick up the phone and call her!

Hell no… Then she’s stuck saying no over the phone. Absolutely do not call unless you are 100% sure she will say yes. The awkwardness would be over the charts if you call.

It’s really simple, go out, have fun. In a day or two shoot a text saying, “Hey what’s up.” (Or something a little more clever.) Don’t even ask for a second date. If she responds, then you can ask. If she doesn’t, well, you have your answer.

Jesus, you all sound like pussies. Say she says no. “No worries, it was nice meeting you regardless, take care”.

You’ve been on one date, it’s not like that rejection is soul crushing. If it’s terribly awkward for her, you probably don’t want to be involved with her anyway.

Why put her through that? Shoot a text and take things from there. Less BS on every side.

Why not just drive to her house and knock on the door? Isn’t that how it was done before phones?

14

Thank her for the pleasure of her company at the completion of the first date. **Ask for the second date in a text / email **1-3 days after the first date.

Text or email??? How romantic.

15

Thank her for the pleasure of her company at the completion of the first date. **Ask for the second date in a text / email **1-3 days after the first date.

Text or email??? How romantic.

I don’t know about you, but for a second date, I’m not looking for romantic. I’m looking to see if I’m even compatible, forget romance.

Unless we had sex on the first date, nah, still text…

16

Thank her for the pleasure of her company at the completion of the first date. Ask for the second date in a text / email 1-3 days after the first date.

^^ This ^^

Seriously, you two? A text or an email?

It’s really easy - Just pick up the phone and call her!

Hell no… Then she’s stuck saying no over the phone. Absolutely do not call unless you are 100% sure she will say yes. The awkwardness would be over the charts if you call.

It’s really simple, go out, have fun. In a day or two shoot a text saying, “Hey what’s up.” (Or something a little more clever.) Don’t even ask for a second date. If she responds, then you can ask. If she doesn’t, well, you have your answer.

Jesus, you all sound like pussies. Say she says no. “No worries, it was nice meeting you regardless, take care”.

You’ve been on one date, it’s not like that rejection is soul crushing. If it’s terribly awkward for her, you probably don’t want to be involved with her anyway.

Why put her through that? Shoot a text and take things from there. Less BS on every side.

Why not just drive to her house and knock on the door? Isn’t that how it was done before phones?

So, I’ve been married for a long time.

How do you end a date verbally with such an open ending. You can’t say I enjoyed tonight, hopefully we can get together again?

So, what exactly does one say when trying to avoid any closure at the end of the evening?

17

Thank her for the pleasure of her company at the completion of the first date. Ask for the second date in a text / email 1-3 days after the first date.

^^ This ^^

Seriously, you two? A text or an email?

It’s really easy - Just pick up the phone and call her!

Hell no… Then she’s stuck saying no over the phone. Absolutely do not call unless you are 100% sure she will say yes. The awkwardness would be over the charts if you call.

It’s really simple, go out, have fun. In a day or two shoot a text saying, “Hey what’s up.” (Or something a little more clever.) Don’t even ask for a second date. If she responds, then you can ask. If she doesn’t, well, you have your answer.

Jesus, you all sound like pussies. Say she says no. “No worries, it was nice meeting you regardless, take care”.

You’ve been on one date, it’s not like that rejection is soul crushing. If it’s terribly awkward for her, you probably don’t want to be involved with her anyway.

Why put her through that? Shoot a text and take things from there. Less BS on every side.

Why not just drive to her house and knock on the door? Isn’t that how it was done before phones?

Oh, okay. Talk out BS, nothing says BS like a text or email. That is a total cop out…kind of like the playground and getting her girlfriend to say no for her.

I know I have been married for 21+ years and haven’t had to ask for a second date in almost 24 years, but is this how y’all operate these days?

18

Thank her for the pleasure of her company at the completion of the first date. **Ask for the second date in a text / email **1-3 days after the first date.
Text or email??? How romantic.

I’m fine with a text or email. This may be generational.

19

Thank her for the pleasure of her company at the completion of the first date. Ask for the second date in a text / email 1-3 days after the first date.

Text or email? What the hell?

I say play it by ear. If it’s going well, and you have things in common, I’d have no problem asking if she would be interested in something during that date. “You like hiking too? We should check out x trail next weekend with the dogs” type thing.

You’ll know if you should be asking for a second date.

I don’t know how I managed to date a lot of women 25-30 years ago without having text or email to see if they were interested in another date. /pink

As you said, it should be pretty obvious. If the date is going well and there is lots of conversation - then I see no problem in proposing a second date if it feels right. I wouldn’t be interested in any woman that was turned off because I violated some game rule by asking her for a second date because the first date was going well.

I think it is silly to text/email a woman because you don’t want to make her feel awkward with a phone call. What is there to lose if she isn’t interested?

20

Thank her for the pleasure of her company at the completion of the first date. Ask for the second date in a text / email 1-3 days after the first date.

^^ This ^^

Seriously, you two? A text or an email?

It’s really easy - Just pick up the phone and call her!

Hell no… Then she’s stuck saying no over the phone. Absolutely do not call unless you are 100% sure she will say yes. The awkwardness would be over the charts if you call.

It’s really simple, go out, have fun. In a day or two shoot a text saying, “Hey what’s up.” (Or something a little more clever.) Don’t even ask for a second date. If she responds, then you can ask. If she doesn’t, well, you have your answer.

Jesus, you all sound like pussies. Say she says no. “No worries, it was nice meeting you regardless, take care”.

You’ve been on one date, it’s not like that rejection is soul crushing. If it’s terribly awkward for her, you probably don’t want to be involved with her anyway.

Why put her through that? Shoot a text and take things from there. Less BS on every side.

Why not just drive to her house and knock on the door? Isn’t that how it was done before phones?

So, I’ve been married for a long time.

How do you end a date verbally with such an open ending. You can’t say I enjoyed tonight, hopefully we can get together again?

So, what exactly does one say when trying to avoid any closure at the end of the evening?

I’m in my early thirties. I’ve lived through this dating transformation of email/text communication. What Nova and Sally are suggesting is doing the exact thing I hear most women bitch about. Being ambiguous, distant, and far too casual.

I’ve always enjoyed asking women out in person, often spur of the moment, and just being honest. If I like someone, and enjoy their company and want to see them again, I’ll tell them that. I dated a lot before I got married, and maybe the odd time that led to an awkward moment, a moment easily diffused by “oh, I’m sorry, I clearly misread the situation. Have a nice night!”

Nova said why bother putting her through that. Putting her through what, mild flattery? Again, that’s weak.

I can see kids in the future listening to stories of their parents first date: “first he swiped right on me, at the same time he swiped right on twenty other women to see whod hit him back. Then, after we ‘hung out’, he texted me THREE DAYS LATER saying “what’s up”, and I knew it was love…” holy hell.