Apparently
“Look, I lift it up, you put it back down. That’s fair.”
doesn’t fly. I would normally give a mea culpa but then someone made a big deal out of it.
What else have you got?
“If you cook it I’ll eat it.”
It’s not exactly equitable but her appreciation for me appreciating what she or anyone cooks for me seems to bridge that equity gap.
Of course I always offer to clean when she does.
She does not see the equity in my pan soaking relative to her scrubbing.
“I’ll suck yours if you suck mine.”
I mean come on, dont we have to define what is getting sucked first??? Is this family friendly approved?
You’re talking about sucking the poison out of a snake bite, right? right?
How many licks does it take?
“You drive first and then I’ll drive next”
(When the first drive is at 5am or during all the traffic)
“I’ll drive to the party if you drive home”
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I’ll pick David Lee Roth and you can have Gary Cherone.
“Bo and Luke are leaving but let’s welcome Coy and Vance”
“Welcome unpaid interns! We’re happy to have you here and we just know this is going to workout for all of us”
One of my favorites from my first job offer out of grad school:
“We know our starting salaries are lower than the rest of the area but we make up for it with our family atmosphere and an extra paid 1/2 hour where you get to do your paperwork”
“We’re breaking up the Lavender Room but, and here’s the good news, if you don’t like it you can leave.”
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The new overlords probably prefer contentious political debate over this lol
Well that sucks.
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Three. The answer is three.
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I’ll pick up the check next time.
But does it suck first or second?
Oof…then Ive been spending way too much down the…nvm
::frantically checks notes:: I just don’t know anymore