Two categories, A and B. Ground rule: you may choose whether to say your idea falls into A or B, or you may choose to not say if you want to keep us guessing.
A: Horrible/worst idea you’ve had and acted on?
B: Horrible/worst idea you’ve had and haven’t acted on?
I’ll start:
Strava, but for cars. Category B.
Buying illegal drugs in South Asia.
Standing in as a batter to let my daughter practice pitching when she had a control issue develop that resulted in hitting batters.
Getting involved in a land war in Asia. Category B?
But did you go against a Sicilian when death was on the line?
I’m gonna recuse myself from this thread, if that’s ok?
Too many to list in Cat A alone
While in Mexico for my SIL’s wedding I met this guy smoking weed out of a vape pen. This was when vapes were fairly new. I asked where got the weed from, he said he just walked right on the plane with the pen hanging from his neck like a necklace, packed full of weed.
You’ve got to be a certain level of stupid to bring or buy drugs in a foreign country like that.
Whether or not I decided to partake with him after he told me the story, I’ll leave that part a mystery.
I’ve thought about trying to sneak into the movies using the old concessions ruse, but quickly decided against it.
Hitchhiking, as a passenger.
Hitchhiking, as a driver.
Both A.
I see what you did there.
That one is -very- location-dependent.
… separate instances. Neither of them involved Bud Light, or an axe.
Mine wasn’t that far off from that level of stupid.
I backpacked for a year after college. One place I went was Nepal. I was linked up with a group of college kids on a kind of “semester at sea” program, except in the Himalaya instead of on the ocean.
We spent the first couple days in Kathmandu, getting ready to head out into the mountains. I found myself wandering around the bazaar downtown, vaguely looking for gear that I might’ve forgotten to pack.
At the time, there was a steady stream 7-10 year old boys running around the streets selling Swiss Army knives and Tiger Balm to westerners about to go hiking. They had this rapid fire patter of salesmanship, “do you want Swiss Army knife? Do you want tiger balm?“ And then under their breath, they’d say “hashish? You want hashish?”
I bought a Swiss Army knife and some tiger balm. And then, being a remarkably dumb and “what’s the worst that can happen?” 23-year-old, I took up one of them on his offer of some hash.
I handed him a US $20 bill. Now, I knew that I’d be overpaying, but I guess I thought that either he would rip me off entirely, or that I would pay like a 1000% premium for some personal use amount of hashish.
What I did not expect was a volume discount.
Little man came back five minutes later, with a brick of hashish about the size and weight of a paving stone. It was half heartedly wrapped in tinfoil, but stank to high heaven, and it was pretty clear what was going on to anyone watching.
The kid disappeared immediately. I started sweating immediately. Like, water rolling down my rib cage, I could literally smell the fear coming off me kind of sweat.
I tried to casually look around for a garbage can or something because I knew I had fucked up. But this was Third World South Asia, they don’t have trash cans on the street corners, and every vendor looking to sell me a fake North Face jacket had their eyes on me.
So I stuffed a felony-jail-time brick of hash down into my underwear, took off my sweatshirt and tied it around my waist, and tried to look nonchalant as I waddled my way back to the hotel, trying not to drop the drugs out the bottom of my trousers.
I got to my hotel room and closed the door. The hippie college kid who was going to be my tent mate for the next six weeks took one look at me and asked me if I was OK. I had known this kid for two days, and I immediately spilled my guts. I told him the whole story, and said “John, you got to help me get rid of this thing.“
This long-haired, mild mannered, Oberlin college kid got the fiercest look I’ve ever seen on his face. “Don’t. You. Dare. This is coming with us on the trail.“
And it did. I humped several pounds of hashish through tens of thousands of feet of elevation change for a month and a half in the Himalayas. I partook a few times. My tent mate worked on it with a will, as did some of the other folks on the trip. I still had to find a trash can in the lobby of one of the nicest hotels in Nepal at the end of the trip and ditch the drugs before I went to the airport.
This is an A+ story. Talk about life experience!
What a story! And beautifully told. To think you almost had your very own midnight express experience.
I stayed far, far away from any hint of drug activity in Asia. Just the thought of getting caught, or even framed for a bribe, scared the shit out of me.
Horrible idea I had an acted on: starting my own business. Would have saved money and had more fun if I paid for an MBA at Harvard and drove a Lamborghini.
Probably would have been able to retire already as well.
Because you have the sense god gave you. Whereas I, having kicked academic ass and graduated magna and whatever else looks good on paper, had a potent blend of arrogance, ignorance and blind faith.
I am often surprised that I made it out of my youth in one piece. Or at all.
I will continue to make foolish choices.
It’s a lifestyle choice.
Life is only meaningful in opposition to death.
Deep understanding comes at considerable personal risk.
Better alive and in danger.
That, said I do try to avoid making the exact same mistake twice.
Of course, it’s never the same problem twice either.
Amen.
Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold. - Helen Keller
When I was in my early 20’s I met a girl who worked at a lingerie shop. She was married but apparently not too faithful. She called me one night and said that her husband had left his offshore job in Louisiana and was heading home, but that she wanted me to come over and have sex with her. I obliged her. I left my car parked facing out, didn’t wear any underwear in case I didn’t have time to put it on and went over. It was pretty hot for both of us.