I routinely ride near a wedding venue and find sex toys littered in the gutter nearby. So far I have found, three vibrators of various colors and a massive dildo.
This thread cracks me up. Almost as good as the denizens of the deep in the local pools.
- Iām on the sidewalk running against traffic. Car coming towards me loses its left front tire. Just fell off and bounced toward me. Missed me by a few feet. The smell of the metal grinding on the road was horrible.
- Running through the neighborhood. Car is coming toward me somewhat slowly. Kid is standing up and out of the sunroof doing his best Titanic āIām king of the worldā impression. Mom was driving and turned on the wiper fluid soaking the kid. She was laughing pretty hard.
- Running through the same neighborhood when a guy in full hockey gear - pads, helmet and stick (no skates) runs by on the other side of the road. Saw him two other times the next week - each time with a different outfit. It was fall, so I assumed he was getting ready for hockey season.
- Running by the apartments near the local university. Two guys on lawn chairs are soaking up the sun. Leaning on their cooler is a sign āyou honk, we drink.ā A car goes by and honks. They raise their beers in salute and proceed to empty the cans in one long swig.
Does a working Pay phone count?
Guy walking his cow down the road. It was unusual because the cow is usually tied up to the lawnmower.
Holy shit is right! I said it almost at the same time as the male voice.
I was running down a pretty secluded gravel road. I came up on a pretty trashy mobile home on the right side of the road and sitting out front in the yard was an elderly couple sitting on an old, beat up sofa, drinking beer and smoking cigarettes. To make it worse there was about 5-7 cats running all around them.
My wife and I were relaxing outside in beaitiful weather enjoying our animals a smoke and a beer and this guy comes wheezing by looked to be in a lot of pain
.
Ha! touche! I was wheezing pretty hardā¦
Dude around the corner waited a little too long to cut his grass
The clippings were kinda damp and piled up so high he couldnāt use a blower on them, so he had to break out the snowshovel
.
I thought this was going to be me until you said snow shovel. No one in dallas knows what that is. 
Couple new ones from last week
While waiting for the light to change, a dude rode by on his Harley. Although he zoomed by pretty fast, I noticed that he had a bicycle water bottle & cage attached to each side of his apehangers
Never seen that set-up on a motorcycle before = pretty brilliant
Another day, another corner, another stoplight
This one has a fairly beat-up patch of pavement on a short pitch approaching the intersection. Dude in a fairly beaten work truck rode up, perhaps a little too hot and the driverās side real wheel hit a divot/pothole with a WHAM!!! The whole truck shuddered and the left rear corner suddenly dropped, as the wheel popped right off!!! With sparks flying from the brake rotor dragging on the ground, the driver steered the truck to the opposite shoulder, in a wide 90* arc. As if it had a mind of its own, the runaway wheel rolled through the intersection, crossed the street, gently leaned itself to the left and ended up behind the waiting vehicle, as if to say āIām sorry. Are you OK?ā
I was really wondering if I should ride under the helo/rig since the rotors were going.
I prefer riding under helicopters while their rotors are still going. Its when they stop when things get tricky. The best thing is to always train by a cliff with the opportunity to just dip off if any helicopter rotors stop above you. That way, you can make a quick exit. Tricky part about that is you have to wear a parachute as well. Unfortunately the bike typically gets badly damaged on cliff exits with a parachute, so wear a Go Pro to get lots of Inst volume and street cred from the ridiculousness of the exit to get yourself a new top of the line P5 like youāve always dreamed about.
Someone pulled a gun on me during a run once
Chicago is an awful place to live
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A turtle ran over by a car and split in half. Armadillos crossing, fish out of the water during the storm and dead on the ground. Lots of animal related sightings in Texas.
My last appearance was on page 9, I think. Besides Flasher Girl, Bowling Ball Girl, and the Bear Man . . .
In the 2015 Dirty Kanza 200 (popularly known as āMuddy Kanzaā that year), there was an extended stretch of impassible mud starting about 10 miles into the race. At that point, everyone picked up their bikes and did their best to walk up in the fence row ā a foot or two up off the road. A mile and a half into that, I decided the road might be firm enough to walk in. (Keep in mind that Iām walking in a pack of probably 500 riders all doing the same thing.) I step down from the fence row, put my bike down, and hear a funny hiss/rattling kind of sound. I look just beyond the bottom bracket of my bike to see a rattlesnake coiled, rattling his/her rattle, and apparently eager to strike. Less than a foot the other side of my bike. I started walking and passed a warning back to riders/walkers behind. Thatās the first and last time Iāve heard the cyclist warning "rattlesnake!"In late August a few years back, I took a solo training ride down Fults Cove in Middle Tennessee. Itās a reasonably remote area with houses about every quarter mile or so and none of them very close to the road. As I round a corner, I see a woman on a riding mower, up near the road, mowing her lawn topless. Sheās got her shirt in her lap, but she never flinches or covers up or reacts. I wave and she waves back, but otherwise goes about her business. In fact, she acts as if she doesnāt know sheās topless. It wasnāt an āIām topless and I donāt careā reaction. There was no reaction. (Maybe she forgot that she took her shirt off?)
Mallorca 70.3 - riding back into Alcudia at about 75-80km you pass through a marshy area. As I was being overtaken by one girl we both suddenly saw an obstruction in the road - it was a tortoise to which the girl had make a sharp swerve to avoid it, with both of us shouting to each other ādid you see that!ā. I assumed it was just an escaped pet but it turns out Mallorca does have a few native species. This one was obviously just taking advantage of the closed roads.
Thereās a farm at the end of my road that sets up middle age camps (think Game of Thrones). Because itās a remote area with next to no sign posts, they had someone in full viking dress stood on the side of the road to aid visitors. So hereās me, out for run saying āmorningā to someone whoās just stepped out of Skyrimā¦
London Marathon 2018 - overtook a guy who looked like Jesus, was dressed like Jesus, barefoot like Jesus, and carrying a fairly large cross like Jesusā¦
overtook a guy who looked like Jesus, was dressed like Jesus, barefoot like Jesus, and carrying a fairly large cross like Jesusā¦
Maybe it was Jesusā¦Iāve heard heās already come back onceā¦
Last year I was climbing a hill about 10 miles out of town and there was a snapping turtle in the road almost at the crest of a hill. I came back a little while later and it was still in the road. I was raised with a healthy respect for what a snapping turtle can do but I also have a love for all animals.
Anyway I knew that sooner or later someone was going to come over the crest of that hill and smash that turtle. I decided I would use my front tire to push him of the road. I kept pushing him but he would keep turning around and ending up back in the road. He finally whipped around and took a big chunk out the sidewall of my front tire. Luckily did not get to the tube.
Anyway I gave up after that and road home hoping that he found his way off the road and that I did not get a flat. Road the same route the next day and he was not there smashed so I guess he got off the road safely. Changed that tire to a wheel I use on the front on the indoor trainer and still remember that turtle every time I look down at the big chunk hanging off the side of that tire.