Adam just brought up he is getting married on saturday-- congratulations dude.
My brother is also getting married this weekend and I, the older brother, will be the best man. What I’m worried about the most is the toast, as probably are most “best men”. Luckily it will be done just before we eat, so that way I don’t poke at my food and then puke it up during the toast. lol
Anyone got any hints or suggestions that may help? My brother and I are very close, but I don’t know his bride all that well. I’m planning to stretch the toast out to about 2 min. in length if I can stand that long. lol
Two minutes is absolutely perfect. If you’re funny, you’ll leave them wanting more. If you’re boring, it’s only two minutes. If you say something really touching, the women there will go absolutely bananas. Stay away from the rude stuff-i’ve seen some awful toasts in my long wedding-attendance history.
Congrats to your bro. I’ve done the best man gig for 2 of my good friends and for both toasts I brought the house down (well…I thought so at least). Just have fun with it. Be loose. Talk to the couple and the crowd. Before the DJ would hand me the mic, I’d do some stretches and jumping jacks like I was warming up for a race. People got a kick out of that. Don’t feel obligated to get loaded to do the toast. My bro did that for his friend and made a complete fool of himself. Finally remember when you get nervous you tend to talk faster. 2 min is a good length. Good luck!!!
Even if you don’t know the bride well, you should make sure to include her in the toast as well. Talk about the positive things she’s brought into your brother’s life and how you’ve noticed it, if you can.
Don’t be afraid to jot down notes if you need them.
One drink, max, before the toast. More than that, and you risk being unforgettable for all the wrong reasons…
Try watching the “Wedding Episode” of Everybody loves Raymond, that was the toast to end all toasts.
Mostly, (and I have no credibility talking about this) avoid any jokes about the bride, or the evening events to follow.
Jokes about the groom or family are great, though.
My sister is getting married next month and I have to do a toast as the maid of honor/big sister. YIKES. Good thing you posted this thread!
Personally, I don’t like toasts that are embarrassing. I know that when/if I get married, I don’t want to be dreading someone bringing up stupid stuff I did. My $.02.
I was the maid of honor at a wedding a couple of years ago. I worried for weeks what I would say, but when the time came it just flowed. I opted not to write a speech, as I would be trying to memorize it and screw up. I had an outline in my head of what I wanted to say and tied it in to their wedding theme (friendship). It worked out beautifuly. The jack ass best man (worst loser in my opinion) then stood up and said “yeah, what she said”. Anyway, my advise is try not to be too scripted, funny anecdotes are good, but beware of jokes- its not amature hour at the comedy club…kj
Yep. Leave out the party details. I’ve seen a couple of crowds left completely speechless and a lot of regret in the air. Keep it short and sweet.
If you’re desperate, just crib something from an old movie or quote book. I always say, you can never go wrong with a well-placed Caddyshack reference:
It’s easy to grin,
when your ship comes in,
and you’ve got the stock market beat.
But the man who’s worthwhile,
is the man who can smile,
when his pants are too tight in the seat.
I agree with the movie line. This works best if you have another groomsmen help you out:
You: True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend and it stops…
Other guy: …stops right there and it continues right here because what I think my friend E-Man is trying to say is that true love is blind. Let’s raise our glasses, whatever we got in front of us. Salut, Health and happiness.
It depends upon how you are known to the people in attendance. I’m known to be just a bit off kilter, but, on the whole, a really nice person. So, what I did for my Nephew was to look the couple straight in their eyes and said very seriously, “I want you two to think of 'Water” in your future relationship. Simple H-two-O. The first H stands for Health, because if you have your Health, anything is possible. The second H stands for Help, because when you work together as a team, helping one another, anything is possible. The O stands for Oxygen, because if you don’t have oxygen, nothing else is possible for very long." Then sit down, while knodding slowly and smiling with pursed lips, like a wise kernel of knowledge had just been conveyed. I’ve had people congratulate me on that toast for years…for some of them, it was the only thing they remembered about the wedding.
Oh, and don’t say anything along the lines of “I hope they have lots of kids”
The guests with more than a couple will roll their eyes (especally if the kids are there and are bored, therefore misbehaving) and any couples having “trouble” will just feel … well … icky.
Here’s what I said and it went over well. Elaborate so it sounds original. “I over heard all the people talking about the new couple. The older married ones said they saw in them, a love that reminded them of when they were young. The single people saw a love that they some day hope to have.”
Just don’t do what my brother did at my reception. He recited the “uncle fucker” song from the South Park movie.
