This guy was a star QB in High School, gets a scholarship to Florida State, but can’t establish himself as the starter and eventually is told he will be playing another position. Ok, it would have been nice to play QB and win some games, but hey you get a free ride through university - not bad.
So what’s he do? Quit school and wait for that NFL tryout. I actually remember seeing this guy (Xavier Lee) play for FSU and am surprised he is only a junior. Seems like forever ago he was in and out as the QB. I don’t think he is going to have a much better shot at QB in the NFL when he can’t even do it at FSU - not exactly a QB pipeline to the NFL.
The worst part is his family’s reaction that basically FSU is screwing him around and encouraging (or at least not trying to dissuade him):
“Can’t blame him, man,” Willie Lee said of his son’s decision to leave school, according to the Sentinel. “What else is he going to do – sit around there and watch other kids go ahead of him?”
Lee’s mother, Gloria, told the Sentinel on Sunday that she has been “heartbroken” by her son’s turbulent FSU career. “As a single parent, I’m pretty much upset, heartbroken, because of the situation they put him in and how they treated him over the years,” Gloria Lee said.
Mediocre player who couldn’t keep the starting QB job. After they went back to the previous QB, he threw a tantrum and stopped going to class…suspended as a result. Yeah, it’s the team’s fault.
FWIW, having watched him play, I don’t think he has the talent to make it in the pros…
…he does seem to have the “sense of entitlement” attitude down pat though, so there may be hope for him after all.
It has been my experience that a large chunk of high school (and into college) athletes drastcially over estimate themselves.
In the podunk small town I coached basketball in, the year before I took the job we had a kid who was the county player of the year (the country consisted of 5 small high schools). It wasn’t exactly what I’d call a good basketball county and his award was due, in part, that his uncle was the coach and his dad was the assistant coach, he played ~48 minutes a game, and every play was designed for him to score.
He went on to a DIII school and dropped out to play at the local community college because he was upset that he wasn’t getting any playing time or special attention from the coach…as a freshman.
On the flip side, a few years before that we had a girl who absolutely dominated the county. She went on to play for Villanova and started. These kids need to understand that if they’re that good, then they will probably DOMINATE their region.
This kind of attitude is taught to the kids by their parents. Kids just can’t handle any kind of adversity any more. They don’t know how to struggle, work hard and get a great outcome because of hard work. They just expect everything to be handed to them on a silver platter. This kid was probably always a star athlete and didn’t have to work hard to get there. So, he can’t handle it when he’s faced with it for the first time at age 18 or 19.
I coach under 13 volleyball. We had 12 girls try out and I decided I didn’t want such a big team. There were 2 girls who were clearly less capable than the others, so I cut them. I sat each of them down, explained what their weaknesses were and what they should work on for next year. Well, one of the parents called me and blasted me for over an hour telling me how I was destroying her daughter’s self esteem and “HOW DARE YOU CUT MY DAUGHTER” and a whole bunch of horrible names. She went to the principal and insisted her daughter be put back on the team. After much negotiation, the two girls are back on the team as practice players and will only get playing time if we are winning big. I told the parent many times that she is ruining her daughter more than I am, by insisting she be on the team. I asked her if she’s going to go to her daughter’s first job interview with her. At some point, these kids have to be responsible for themselves and stop having their parents deal with all of their problems. If the girl had come to me and asked me if she could continue practicing with the team even if she didn’t get playing time, I would have been more than happy to do that. But, instead the parent had to fight dirty, call me all kinds of horrible names and go over my head to insist her daughter play. I just hate helicopter parents!!!
Don’t you need 12 players so that you can simulate game situation? I would keep them on the team just for that reason. Why would you want to practice with (5 on 5) or (6 on 4)?
Also, I think a lot of you people underestimate what the coach tells the kid and his parents when he is being recruited. It is a lot of pressure on a 17 year old kid. I am more surprised by the young kids that thrive under that type of pressure and responsibility than the ones who fail. When I was in college it was all that I could do to make it to a 9:30am class. I agree his parents attitude probably contributes to the problem.
Don’t you need 12 players so that you can simulate game situation? I would keep them on the team just for that reason. Why would you want to practice with (5 on 5) or (6 on 4)?
We don’t scrimmage very often in practice. When we do, we have a full 6 on one side and then the rest of us, including me, play the other side. That works very well. That’s better than having 6 players on the bench in every game and having all of the parents calling to complain that their kid isn’t getting enough playing time.
I thought they were called seagulls: Swoop in, make a bunch of noise, shit all over everything, and fly off.
Once my daughter is in middle school, I’d like to get involved as a coach in some of her sports. Not sure if I could listen to 5 minutes, let alone an hour of that from a parent. What would have happened had you said “ma’am, I will not tolerate this sort of verbal abuse. We can speak agin once you regain control of yourself and apologize for your poor behavior”?
What would have happened had you said “ma’am, I will not tolerate this sort of verbal abuse. We can speak agin once you regain control of yourself and apologize for your poor behavior”?
I did tell her several times through that call that she was out of line. I felt like it was my duty as the coach to talk it out with her. Surprisingly, I kept my cool through the whole thing and did my best to explain my side of it and why she was being unreasonable. She calmed down after about 20 minutes and at least stopped calling me names.
As an aside, I would definitely recommend you get involved in coaching as soon as you can. I started when my daughter was in grade 5 and I have loved every minute of it. She’s now in grade 7 and I will likely not continue with her team since I want to give her some space now. Luckily, I have a younger daughter who is dying to have me as her coach, so I’ll go back down to the lower ages next year.
I had a situation where I kept a kid on a team because he was a senior and had a good attitude. Well, aparently he was expecting playing time…like it was OWED to him for being a senior. I even tried to explain to him that I do what I can, but I have to prepare for the following year and, frankly, when I get the chance I have to play juniors.
Aparently he and his parents had a different philosophy. More to the point, the mother told me that he worked so hard for 4 years and this is how he gets treated, to which I had NO problem responding, “HOW hard has he worked for 4 years? Your kid is clearly less talented than others in this program and he expects that he can do virtually nothing between March and November each year and that playing time is just going to be handed to him because he “earned” it by turning 17?”
Granted, that was my first season (and last) coaching basketball. I’ve learned a lot since then from other coaches who give their kids objective drills to master in the off season so that when they come into tryouts and get cut, they can say, “Well…we told you that we expected you to be able to do XYZ by tryouts and you didn’t do it. In fact, you are slower than last year.”
Of course…they STILL have problems with the parents.
I appreciate your opinion on this as you are experiencing it first hand.
My son is a swimmer. He swam in a skills/AG team for 5 years. It was competitive but the main focus was learning skills and beating your own time, not necessarily winning. It was always a tricky balance to maintain. I always wanted to help coach the team, but for many reasons (mostly my work schedule which does not allow me to commit to regular days every week) I stayed in the background and helped run meets and pretty much anything else that was asked of me. Only one time in 5 years did I confront a coach about what was going on with my son. He was the assistant coach and he was getting on him and was pushing him way harder than what the focus was for this team. It was almost to the point where my son didn’t want to swim anymore.
Now the same son is swimming on the high school varsity team. It is a completely different world. Again, I am fully involved in the team’s management. I have developed a website for the team and I run the meet board. Now I really want the coach (different guy) to push the boys a lot harder. But I am the parent and he is the coach and I am willing to let him do his job. It has been really cool to watch all of the boys come along. We had a parent/coach meeting about 2 weeks ago, and it was strange because one of the parents asked how the practices were going and if the kids were reacing their goals, etc. The coach told us that he thinks things are going well…but sometimes there is a bit too much screwing around at practice. My wife was thinking, “well you are the coach, do something about it.” The problem is that his main tool would be keeping kids out of meets or whatever, and the team is pretty small and if one kid doesn’t swim a meet, that is a relay you can’t field. It is a tough place to be.
I don’t think I am a “helicopter parent” but I am involved. I am pretty happy allowing the coaches do their thing. I think that you started out doing it right by explaining to the cut girls what they needed to improve to make the team next year. I also think that the best possible compromise is allowing the 2 girls to be “practice only” players. I would never go past the coach (or teacher) as a first step to resolve a problem. That is tactless in my opinion.
As a coach, I love interested parents, but there’s a big difference between interested and involved parents and helicopter parents. Helicopter parents do everything for their kids and expect their kids to be the star of the team without putting in the hard work. Involved parents faciliate things so that their kids can get to practice and are involved in the sport. They ask questions to see how the kid is doing, but they don’t interfere with every little thing.
If there is any problem at all on the team (whether I’m doing something wrong, or if the kid just perceives something is wrong), then I really, really want the kid and/or parent to talk to me. I think most coaches would want this too. Constructive criticism is helpful. We’re not perfect and it helps us to hear different points of view.
Here is my best case scenario if there is a problem:
First and foremost, I want the kid to come to me and talk about what’s happening. I think it’s the athlete’s responsibility to take matters into their own hands. It saddens me that there are so many 12 year olds (and older) out there who can’t talk to a teacher or coach when there is a problem. What’s going to happen when these kids get a bad mark in university and need to talk to their prof? They’re going to be frozen. I have many girls on my team who can’t even tell me why they missed a practice. They have their Moms call me to explain, even if it’s just something like being sick. Give me a break!
If the problem isn’t resolved after the kid talks to me, then I would expect the parent to raise the issue either by talking to me at the end of practice or by phone. The best situation is when the parent explains how the problem is perceived from their point of view (for example, “Johnny is telling us how easy practice is and he doesn’t feel like he’s being pushed very hard. Is that true or is he off base in your opinion.”). It’s possible that the coach is doing that for a reason and he can explain his side of it. It’s possible that the coach had no idea how easy he’s being. The above is very different than a parent saying “What the hell are you doing? You are going way too easy on these kids. You’re ruining their season.”.
If this is really important to you, then talk to the coach about helping out during practice sessions when your work schedule allows it. It is much easier to give the coach feedback when you are part of the coaching staff than when you are just a parent. If you think the kids are slacking off and the coach isn’t noticing, then you can pipe up and get them moving. Also, you will end up loving coaching and finding ways to do more of it.
Good patience- sounds like I need to keep working on mine before getting involved
Did you play volleyball before? I only wrestled and rowed in HS. I figure head coaches are always willing to have people act as conditioning coaches- right up my alley. If nothing else, driving the team van to events and embarrasing my daughter by being the loudest parent should be the pinnacle of parenthood!
No, I’ve never played competitive volleyball - just fun stuff on the beach. However, I’ve become quite the student of the sport and learned everything I could. I took a level 1 coaching class that really helped too. This is my third year with the same kids. They were undefeated last year and have a good chance at winning their division again this year. I’m blessed with very skilled athletes, plus a lot of reading and research on my end. I did play quite a bit of basketball growing up and I also coach that team in the fall season. That comes more naturally to me.
By the way, your daughter may act embarrassed when you’re the loudest parent, but in her heart she’s so happy to have you there and so happy that you yelling loudly for her (as long as it’s the good kind of yelling!).
Also, I love this description you put: "I thought they were called seagulls: Swoop in, make a bunch of noise, shit all over everything, and fly off. " It definitely describes the parent better.
Two of the biggest issues in our society have come up; entitlement mentality, and self esteem. Funny. Anywho, I agree that usually the entitlement mentality comes from parent(s), but have seen otherwise, as well. Four kids in my family(all middle aged adults now), somehow one has ended up with a tremendous entitlement mentality, seldom works, trying to get more from the govt at all times, and problems are all the fault of someone else. No idea how that really happened.
**embarrasing my daughter by being the loudest parent should be the pinnacle of parenthood! **
HA! There are 3 of us “parents-of-freshmen” on the team that have acquired some kind of a reputation at the swim meets for cheering so loudly. It has gotten to the point where parents of other teams are starting to give us a wide berth in the stands at away meets and invitationals. It is awesome! I have a good and loud drill sergeant voice that comes out when my son is swimming the 500 Free. Definitely the pinnacle of parenthood.
Unfortunately for the life lesson, the take away for that kid is if you yell loud enough and long enough, you get your way.
On the other hand, parent coaches can be detrimental to the team. My youngest brother played water polo with the coach’s kid. The coach decided his son was the greatest thing to hit the game since water was invented. The trouble, of course, was that the kid sucked. My brother decidedly did not. Guess who the coach vented on? He ruined the game for my brother.
**Unfortunately for the life lesson, the take away for that kid is if you yell loud enough and long enough, you get your way. **
I completely agree with you and that was my main issue when discussing what to do with the situation with the principal. In the end, the principal decided it was best to let her back on as a practice player. Actually, if I had my way, she wouldn’t have been put back on because of the way her mother acted, but it wasn’t my decision. (I should add that this is a private school and the school goes out of it’s way to not piss off the parents since the parents are where their revenue comes from!)
**On the other hand, parent coaches can be detrimental to the team. My youngest brother played water polo with the coach’s kid. The coach decided his son was the greatest thing to hit the game since water was invented. The trouble, of course, was that the kid sucked. My brother decidedly did not. Guess who the coach vented on? He ruined the game for my brother. **
Again, I totally agree with you and I try to be very sensitive to this issue. I do my best not to favor my daughter (in fact, she thinks I’m harder on her than the others - and I probably am just because I know she can handle constructive criticism better than most kids her age) and I often talk to the assistant coach to make sure I’m balancing things fairly. There are awards given out at the end of the year and I remove myself from that discussion. The assistant coach and athletic director make the decisions for the awards for the teams I coach. That’s also why I’m not going to continue coaching her as she grows older. She’ll benefit from another coach and can perhaps grow more under their coaching than mine. It’s not as big an issue with the younger ages since all players play equal time up until grade 7. Besides, I like coaching 9 and 10 year olds more than 12+.
