The internet has questions, the LR has answers

The Coffee Shop
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Latest internet argument: who wins in a fight, one adult male gorilla or 100 men, no weapons.

I know the answer. What say you.

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Iā€™d say the 100 men but a lot of them would have to be willing to die a pretty awful death for the group to pull it off.

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It depends on what you mean by winning. The men would tire out the gorilla out, and eventually take him down, but many would die in the process.

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All depends how motivated the men are. If all 100 were all in, they would take down the ape in time.

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If the men are smart and work together, no contest. Lota dead guys though.

I donā€™t teally miss Jim. Heā€™d gotten a little off the rails at times.

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Jim?
As in, gun Jim?

Is he gone?

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The gorilla got him.

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Nah, he owns 100 gorillas

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Consider:

  • A silverback gorilla can kill a lion with one blow ā€” documented in a 2018 Congo clash where the gorilla crushed the lionā€™s skull.

  • Gorillas have 6-inch-thick chest muscles ā€” bullets from a 9mm pistol often fail to penetrate, per wildlife ranger reports.

  • In 2023, a gorilla in Rwanda threw a 400-lb boulder 30 feet to scare off poachers.

  • A single gorilla punch can generate 1,500 lbs of force ā€” enough to shatter a human ribcage in one hit, per biomechanics data.

  • Gorillas can snap a crocodileā€™s jaw ā€” seen in a 2015 Uganda incident where a silverback defended its troop.

  • Their roar hits 112 decibels ā€” louder than a chainsaw, disorienting any human attacker instantly, per sound studies.

  • In 2021, a zoo gorilla in Japan bent steel bars 2 inches thick ā€” designed to withstand 3,000 lbs of pressure!

  • Gorillas have a 98% muscle-to-body ratio ā€” humans average 40%, making them 9x stronger pound-for-pound, per primate research.

  • A silverback once dragged a 1-ton log to build a nest ā€” humans max out at 1,100 lbs with elite training, per Guinness Records.

  • In a 2019 study, gorillas showed ā€œtactical retreatā€ ā€” theyā€™ll fake a flee, then ambush, outsmarting 100 humans easily.

Butā€¦

  • Gorillas are evolutionarily predisposed to intimidating behaviors rather than confrontation because of their high metabolic costs

  • Gorillas are built for rapid upper body explosive force

  • Gorillas eat a diet very low in caloric density

  • Gorillas get 3 minutes of sustained anaerobic activity as a generous estimate before complete exhaustion

  • Current estimates say that at peak with a heavy, 1 on 1 onslaught, 15-20 humans max before exhaustion

  • If the gorilla has mild intensity and breaks, 30-40 is its theoretical maximum before exhaustion

So my question is, if you had only 10 men to do the job, who do you choose?

Iā€™m taking 6 elite sumo wrestlers, 4 elite heavyweight MMA fighters.

First wave is 4 sumo, then 2 more, then 1 MMA fighter per limb, disable the joints while sumos subdue.

Iā€™ve given this quite a bit of thought today. This is the winning strategy.

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Sorry for the confusion. Was referring to the Sam Roberts show on SiriusXM. Thats where i heard about the topic and thought the OP did as well. Jim was the former co-host.

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Gorilla vs 100 men has been scheduled for oral argument in July, 2026.

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Kirk.

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giggity

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:rofl:

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The gorilla and I have something in common!

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I think we vastly overrate the killing power of men. The gorilla can and will kill quickly, or maim men so badly they will be writhing in pain and will be out of the fight. The gorilla can bite, punch, kick, and squeeze.

While the men, working together and showing a total disregard for individual survival (good luck with that) can rush it and try to overwhelm it with the combined mass of the men, how do they actually kill it?

Can they strangle it? Somehow beat it to death?

But also missing in this is the question of motivation. The men can be motivated by a desire to survive, and perhaps a prize. But what motivates the gorilla to engage and to become a killing machine to its full potential, and to keep on killing and killing?

Because I believe that this fight could only occur if the gorilla is defending itself, I find myself thinking I would root for the gorilla.

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They have to play the long game. Work in shifts, keep it awake and on guard but donā€™t engage and get ripped apart as much as possible. They can rest but it canā€™t. Siege tactics.

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I think we have a winner.

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Iā€™m with you.

10 people? Come onā€¦ It doesnā€™t matter how big the human is, a blow to the head or bite to face face is going to maim whether youā€™re a 300 lb sumo or a 70 kg triathlete.