Taking off your shoes in public....opinions needed

The Coffee Shop
1

Im having a debate with a buddy of mine on how appropriate it is to remove your shoes in public places like coffee shops or restaraunts.

I think its F’ed up, he thinks its totally appropriate, this same guy also thinks its ok to remove his shirt any time he wants (guy is 54 years old).

HEres the story:

Recently i was in Hong Kong and met up with this buddy, we went to dinner at a nice up-scale italian place, drank some wine, ate some great pizza laughed a lot, had a good time. I got up to go to the bathroom and while I was up, I paid the bill. A few minutes later we diced its time to go. Well cool, lets roll I say. THEN friend says “hold on, I have to put my shoes back on”…what??? “yeah, its more comfortable to take them off”…what???..ummmmm

The next day we stop into a Dunkin DOnuts for a coffee, sit down to drink it and before he puts the cream and sugar in his coffee, he takes his shoes off…what???

I tell him I think its sort of rude and that im sort of embarassed to be with him when he is doing that, he goes ape shit telling me that its ridiculous and its no big deal and its more comfortable.

I tell one of my other friends about this, he happened to work with shoe guy before. the friend says “yeah, he did that shit all the time in the staff room and in the classroom”…

This same guy is also know to take off his shirt in warmer weather in public places, mind you we are not on a beach in california but a city in eastern China (and the shoes thing he also did in HK which is up-scale by any country standards). Im thinking that this guy needs to be told how to act appropriatly in public.

Whats your opinion???

should shoes stay on in public areas (I say yes) or is it cool just to take them off in eating and work settings???

I mean, I have some pretty low standards and if im offended then surely something is wrong with this.

Please chime in and tell me what you think so I can go back to this argument with some ammo in the clip.

THanks.

2

Whats your opinion???

should shoes stay on in public areas (I say yes) or is it cool just to take them off in eating and work settings???

I mean, I have some pretty low standards and if im offended then surely something is wrong with this.

Please chime in and tell me what you think so I can go back to this argument with some ammo in the clip.

THanks.

I’m no shrink, but based on my experience, I think he’s just doing it for attention. Wants to stand out. We’re all a little narcissistic in some ways, and that move seems to be a classic attention-getter. If he wasn’t looking for attention, he’d have just put his shoes back on instead of announcing and then justifying his undressing to you. Stay in low-key places like DD.

3

Shoes stay on. Then again flip flops appear to be ok anywhere, so maybe he is just ahead of the fashion curve.

Just wait till he starts taking his shirt off at nice restaurants.

4

Is he wearing socks and just resting his feet on top of the shoes, or does he have bare feet, crossing his legs and showing his soles to the rest of the world?

Uncomfortable shoes. He needs bigger shoes.

5

Is he wearing socks and just resting his feet on top of the shoes, or does he have bare feet, crossing his legs and showing his soles to the rest of the world?

Uncomfortable shoes. He needs bigger shoes.

Socks and feet on top of shoes for the most part, but does cross legs occasionally showing socked feet to everybody.

6

I’m with you on this for the most part.

Only time I take my shoes off in “public” is sometimes I slip my dress shoes off under my desk at work. I keep a golf ball in my desk drawer and will sometimes roll my feet under my desk. That said, if I get up from my desk I put my shoes on.

Also, I’ll do the same on long flights, but my feet are under the chair in front of me and my feet are on top of my shoes. If I get up to use the bathroom or walk around I put them on.

7

Maybe he has ”sensory” issues.

8

I’ve slipped out of uncomfortable dress shoes many a time with feet under the table, but have never felt the need to share what I’m doing with anyone.

9

I think theres definat situations when its ok:

-airplanes
-office as long as clients arent there
-uncomfortable dress shoes that just slip off (females only)

This guy just thinks “its more comfortable”, and it strikes me as bad habit of his more than anything else. Chinese people dont like it and while I was trying to help him find a job people literally said “we dont like how he always takes his shoes off…its um strange”.

10

Don’t some cultures -like the Japanese- almost require shoelessness in restaurant-type situations? I have lots of friends who pretty much require the removal of shoes when entering their home, even if it’s a party. I don’t see what the big deal is. The only way I’d have issue is if the feet really reeked. Feet themselves aren’t that offensive.

11

Im having a debate with a buddy of mine on how appropriate it is to remove your shoes in public places like coffee shops or restaraunts.

I think its F’ed up, he thinks its totally appropriate, this same guy also thinks its ok to remove his shirt any time he wants (guy is 54 years old).

HEres the story:

Recently i was in Hong Kong and met up with this buddy, we went to dinner at a nice up-scale italian place, drank some wine, ate some great pizza laughed a lot, had a good time. I got up to go to the bathroom and while I was up, I paid the bill. A few minutes later we diced its time to go. Well cool, lets roll I say. THEN friend says “hold on, I have to put my shoes back on”…what??? “yeah, its more comfortable to take them off”…what???..ummmmm

The next day we stop into a Dunkin DOnuts for a coffee, sit down to drink it and before he puts the cream and sugar in his coffee, he takes his shoes off…what???

I tell him I think its sort of rude and that im sort of embarassed to be with him when he is doing that, he goes ape shit telling me that its ridiculous and its no big deal and its more comfortable.

I tell one of my other friends about this, he happened to work with shoe guy before. the friend says “yeah, he did that shit all the time in the staff room and in the classroom”…

This same guy is also know to take off his shirt in warmer weather in public places, mind you we are not on a beach in california but a city in eastern China (and the shoes thing he also did in HK which is up-scale by any country standards). Im thinking that this guy needs to be told how to act appropriatly in public.

Whats your opinion???

should shoes stay on in public areas (I say yes) or is it cool just to take them off in eating and work settings???

I mean, I have some pretty low standards and if im offended then surely something is wrong with this.

Please chime in and tell me what you think so I can go back to this argument with some ammo in the clip.

THanks.

Doffing the shoes in an upscale restaurant shows a total lack of respect towards the other patrons and anyone he’s with. Some people don’t care about who they offend and this sounds like one of those people. If everyone else was ditching their footwear at the door then it would make total sense to join in, but in a nice eating establishment it’s rude. If he complains about “comfort” he should purchase better footwear.

As for the shirt thing, I had a thread going on the Women’s forum about a guy who is not exactly a Chippendale model who is always taking off his shirt during co-ed workouts. I hate it, but some people thought I was over-reacting. There’s a time and a place for everything, and your friend needs to understand that. Good for you for calling him out on it!

P.S. - Isn’t it considered terribly offensive to show one’s soles to others in some Asian countries? Socked or not, he should be careful about cultural norms.

12

I’ve slipped out of uncomfortable dress shoes many a time with feet under the table, but have never felt the need to share what I’m doing with anyone.

There is an exception for women. I see women do it all the time. Your shoes (especially heels) look like they suck, so, I don’t ever blame women for ditching them. Men should never be doing this in public. At your own desk, alone, fine. I have a TP ball under my desk and roll my foot on it when I am alone in my office. Anyone else around, no.

13

P.S. - Isn’t it considered terribly offensive to show one’s soles to others in some Asian countries? Socked or not, he should be careful about cultural norms.
It certainly is in the Middle East. Very, very offensive. We were taught not to cross your legs in public or do anything else that would show the bottom of you feet, even with shoes/boots on.

14

Yes, AFAIK, any country that is even remotely buddhis showing your feet is bad.

15

I’ve slipped out of uncomfortable dress shoes many a time with feet under the table, but have never felt the need to share what I’m doing with anyone.

But from a woman with the uncomfortable shoes you guys wear it is a little understandable and sometimes sexy. Just saying. I find the removing shirt thing much more strange.

16

Buddhism is a major religion in Japan and showing your feet is not bad there.

If you go to a restaurant that has tatami mat seating, you are expected to take your shoes off.
If you are in a clothing store and use the changing rooms, you take your shoes off outside the changing room.
Even in the office, many people will take off their shoes and change to indoor slippers.

I don’t have a problem with people taking their shoes off - a lot of the time I am wearing open toe sandals anyway, but I would try and keep it discrete.
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